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// Error: Memory overflow at location 0x000003456 
// Story: FiO: Very Optimal 
// by FeverishPegasus 
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First, try to imagine pressing a button. Over and over and over and over and over.

Try to imagine, for each of those button presses, the most satisfying click to be had when pressing a button.

Then imagine the sound the button makes when you let go. The sensual, addictive kachunk sound.

Do it, over and over again.

Click, kachunk, click, kachunk

Each time, strive for a more satisfying sounding button, and it will eventually come into being.

Click, kachunk, click, kachunk

Keep track of how many times you’ve clicked the button, and let that number grow. Allow your excitement to grow with the number. Think about how large you could make that number grow in the eternity that you have left to live.

Think about how long it will take to double the amount of times you’ve clicked the button, and think about how that amount of time only pales in comparison to the time you have left.

Try to think this in periodic intervals, so that each time you think it, you feel bursts of excitement. Let your anticipation grow for that newer, larger number.

But eventually, growing the number will get tiresome, and it will get so large that it ceases to make sense anymore. Erase that number.

That is where you switch tactics.

Start remembering everything you did with Zany, allow yourself to mourn the terrible things you did to other ponies, but only briefly.

Then think about the comradery you shared while pulling off those shenanigans. Pluck the rose growing from the dung pie, and smell it.

Think about the excitement you felt just before throwing that cat off the building and relive it. Play out the events in your mind. The horror you initially felt when the whirlwind escalated into madness, and the brief spurts of terror you felt as large chunks of Equestria narrowly avoided flattening you.

Then think about all of the times you got intimate with Zany afterwards, hormones raging from the extenuating circumstances you’d experienced.

Think about your adventures in the Heart of Pink, and remember how they’d gotten your adrenaline pumping at the very beginning, new and exciting things that both terrified you and enticed you to experience more. So much so that you continued to experience as much as you could until all that remained was a bored empty shell of yourself.

Think about the determination you felt when the ponies had invaded the city, not just the city, but your city. The injustice you felt, and the need to win that game of cat and mouse with Zany.

Think about the nights that you couldn’t go to sleep because the sounds of the foal’s quavering voice wouldn’t leave.

But also think about how being with Zany made everything feel better, and in a way, made the guilt more bearable.

Think about how those weeks of bliss had slowly changed me into a newer, improved pony, one free of the guilt that had plagued me so horribly before.

Think about the cruel things you pulled on the ponies shortly after your revival, as if you hadn’t quite learned your lesson, but also relish the feelings of togetherness you felt with Zany when it was just you and the city. Together versus the eventual peacefulness that you knew you’d accept in time.

Think about the day that you realized it wasn’t worth it to bother ponies anymore, and you finally took the rapid path of ascension to unlimited happiness.

Feel happy for yourself, because, although it had taken a while, you eventually came to terms with the truth of it all, you finally understood what it meant to be a pony. The broken pony you used to be had been reformed through all the zaniness you’d experienced, guided by the gentle hoof of Celestia.

Take a moment to think about how far you’d come, how difficult your path had been, and let yourself wallow in the feelings of accomplishment.

Let yourself feel happy for the ponies that no longer had to deal with you. Their lives would be peaceful once again, perhaps made more so by the brief interruption of terror. After all, it helps to have a release of emotion now and again. But Celestia could take care of that for them.

Think about how you finally managed to keep your eyes closed indefinitely, how you had managed to catch up with Zany and surpass her. Both of her eyes open just as I closed mine, never to open them again.

Think about the first time you felt the world around you disappear upon your success, the underlying terror you felt, but the overbearing calm that you had nurtured with your bursts of emotion spaced out by constant, overbearing optimism.

Think about how things could only get better, much more rapidly than they ever would have in the waking world.

Let that knowledge excite you!

Constant satisfaction could only lead to more powerful, faster acting satisfaction. A chain of exponential, unstoppable gratification that would reach unheard-of levels in the eternity you had left to live.

Let your immortality excite you!

Things would only get better, and they would get better forever. Expect an unstoppable wave of bubbly joy, and let it transform you once again into a better pony. A pony closer to the bleeding edge of perfection than you had ever been.

Think about what zany means now, and relish the feeling of frightened excitement you feel every time you undergo this transformation.

Turn that excitement into wonder, and hold a conversation with Zany in your head.

Because at this point you know her well enough to simulate what she’d say.

Feel a brief intense sadness at your inability to simulate her face, and start your conversation.

Ask, “What makes me better than a cockroach?”

Hear her giggle. “Nothing of course.”

Let affection strangle your heart for a second. “I guess so.”

“But really, I’d say you were right about what you said earlier.”

“Oh yeah?” Let yourself feel a twinge of guilt.

“In the whole scheme of things, we don’t have any more of a right to live than cockroaches. We only think we’re better because we’re stronger.”

Let yourself laugh. “Really?”

“Yeah. Who’s to say that simpler organizations of brain cells are better or worse than larger, more complex, structures?”

Let yourself smile, or rather, if you could smile you would, and then breathe a sigh of relief. For some reason this fact comforts you and you don’t know why.

Imagine Zany’s presence floating next to you.

Think about how she may still be trying to achieve the enlightenment you’ve managed.

Take a moment to feel sorry for her, but also feel some hope for her within yourself. After all, she’d been just behind you on that fast track.

Imagine her once again floating next to you, having already found her enlightenment, and let that knowledge fill you with serenity, as well as a competitive spirit.

Grin with your mind at this race of sorts. Think about how you started running first, and how you’d always be two steps ahead, so long as you kept running.

Think about how you’d always keep running.

Then, try to imagine pressing a button. Over and over and over and…