//------------------------------// // Minecraft YouTubers. Pony 178: Petunia Paleo and the Diamond Dogs // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// At Cheerilee's school, closed for the holidays, a sky blue & dark blue maned earth pony filly dug in the playground with only the aid of a plastic shovel and a bucket. Said filly looked a bit like a miniature Pinkie Pie, even with the orange bow in her mane. Of course, her shovel hit something hard. "Ooh! Another fossil!" She squealed. "I bet it's another Ponysaurus! Or a Ponydon! Or a... Deadpool?" The Head of Deadpool was under the sand. "'Sup." He simply said. "...Why are you buried under the sand?" "I don't know. Reasons. Why are you here?" "Oh! I already found many fossils in my backyard, and I wanted to see if I can find more!" "Ooh! That sounds interesting!" He teleported above the sand, but wore boxes around him. "Let's go digging like Minecraft!" "Minecraft?" "The indie game that became the biggest sellout. Perhaps more than FNAF." He grabbed the filly. "To the ultimate digging site!" He teleported the two of them to what could be only described as an underground mining area, complete with pickaxes, shovels, torches, and carts. She squealed in happiness. "Oh my gosh! All of this is for us!?" "Yep! We better start digging for those diamonds!" "Or ancient fossils! Or Ancient ruins! Or even lost treasure!" They both ran and picked up their own pickaxes and began to dig into the walls. Unbeknownst to them, they were watched by the mine's residents. "Yes, the pony is digging for us!" One of the three pairs of piercing eyes spoke, sounding like a poor imitator of Gollum from the Lord of the Rings movies. "And the hooman as well!" The other, more deeper voiced one added. "They will make better slaves than that whiner." the third added. "... Do you get the feeling we're being watched?" Deadpool asked, throwing aside the Holy Grail. "Nope!" Petunia replied, dragging a casket. "Eh, you're probably right." He picked up a skull. "Hey! Look at this! To be, or not to be? That is the question." He was tackled by someone. "HELP!!! I'M BEING TAKEN AWAY LIKE A CHILD AT MINECON!!!" A muzzle was put over his face. Kinky! Ew! No! "Deadpool!" Petunia yelled before having a muzzle placed over her face. "More slaves!" One of the three diamond dogs, the huge one, cheered. "Get digging now!" The smallest one barked. HEHEHE!!! I see what you did there! "OI!" Deadpool yelled "Do you know who the f**k I am!?" "SILENCE!!!" The medium one ordered before giving him a slap across his face. "You both slaves! You dig for us now!" "Dig or die!" The large dog ordered. Petunia whimpered under her muzzle. "And I thought archeology/paleontology was going to be fun." "Oh, don't you worry a thing! I have an idea!" He teleported out of his binds, and sliced Petunia free with one of his swords. He grabbed the filly and placed her on a ledge, teleporting away before returning quickly with a certain horned helmet on and other small, hairy men around. Deadpool quickly put on a fake, large beard. "It is time to mine away,my brothers." He spoke in a Scottish accent. One of the midgets banged a large drum out and another blew into a large horn. Petunia watched as a, yet, another one of Deadpool's songs played as he and the men began to march, and mine, their way to freedom. ♬Brothers of the mine rejoice!♬ ♬Swing, swing, swing with me!♬ ♬Raise your pick and raise your voice!♬ ♬Sing, sing, sing with me♬ ♬Down and down into the deep Who knows what we'll find beneath? Diamonds, rubies, gold and more Hidden in the mountain store♬ ♬Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home Skin made of iron, steel in our bones To dig and dig makes us free Come on brothers sing with me!♬ ♬I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole♬ Petunia, not wanting to be stuck, hopped down some ledges, picking up her own pickaxe, and helped, albeit, not in synchronization with the dwarves, taking very small chunks of rocks out instead of the large boulders, and looking WAY too adorable while digging. ♬The sunlight will not reach this low♬ ♬Deep, deep in the mine♬ ♬Never seen the blue moon glow♬ ♬Dwarves won't fly so high♬ ♬Fill a glass and down some mead! Stuff your bellies at the feast! Stumble home and fall asleep Dreaming in our mountain keep♬ ♬Born underground, grown inside a rocky womb The earth is our cradle; the mountain shall become our tomb Face us on the battlefield; you will meet your doom We do not fear what lies beneath We can never dig too deep♬ ♬I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole♬ Some Diamond Dogs noticed them and pounced at them. Deadpool pulled a detonator out and exploded the cave they were in,leaving them all in darkness. Petunia, being near the human, grabbed onto his leg and shivered away. Her fear quickly went away as light entered their would-be-tomb. ♬Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home Skin made of iron, steel in our bones To dig and dig makes us free Come on brothers sing with me!♬ ♬I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole♬ They flopped onto the floor. "BRIGHT LIGHT!!! BRIGHT LIGHT!!!" Deadpool squealed at the sunlight, returning to the dwarves, who threw him back out. You're not a Mogwi. We're a Minecraft YouTuber!!! "What the big deal!?" Deadpool demanded. "We don't work for ye." One of the dwarves answered "Now leave us alone! We're gonna take care of the pooches underneath." "And the creepers!" Another yelled, but in a stereotypical, nerdy voice. Deadpool groaned in annoyance, but snickered as he pulled out some various golden items. "At least I have the treasure." "That was fun!" Petunia squeaked "Can we try that again!?" "Uh... perhaps another time." He patted her mane. "And your parents must be worried about you." "Oh shoot! My parents!" Deadpool picked her up before teleporting back to her house, teleporting away before she could say anything. Next to her was a bag. She looked in it and found the various golden encrusted items, and a note. Your Booty now... context. "Context?" She asked herself. "...Eh, My family's gonna be happy!!!"