//------------------------------// // Just roll with it. // Story: Why me? // by Miner //------------------------------// Before Red Heart left my room, she told me that if nothing else happens to me today. That I should be ok to leave the hospital this evening. Of course, once the Doctor has to give me the ok first. Now normally that would be a good thing for anyone to hear, but not for me. Because I've got no game plan of what to do when I am released from here. Honestly, I was hoping that the Princess would have come back already to give me her answer before my release. But then again, she is a princess and as such, she is a very busy pony and hadn’t gotten around yet to check up on my records. Until she does, I am on my own, but then again. I could ask one of my new friends to see if they would help me. But I hate having to rely on the kindness of others so that I don’t end up on the streets... alone. It makes me feel like a mulcher. But I really don’t have much choice in the matter. I need a place to stay but I have no money. I am in a real bind here. I know for a fact that Exclusive would jump at the chance help me out, but something about living with somepony of the opposite gender that I like can only spell trouble. Not to mention that he too is without a home right now and is probably doing the same thing I am doing right now. A heavy sigh leaves my mouth as I made my way over to the window. Looking outside, I could see the ponies walking or flying from place to place. This is truly a very peaceful place to live in. If worst comes to worst. This may not be such a bad town to live in. Not to mention that these ponies are great at rebuilding. Because I don’t see any sign of the destructions of what happens to the town yesterday anywhere. It is like it never happened, which is very impressive for creatures without fingers. Now if only I can do the same. Then again, I am getting better at using my hooves. But still, I would give just about anything for a good set of hands right about now. My head is itching up a storm and my hooves can only do so much. My thoughts are interrupted when I heard the door opening. I turn my head to see Exclusive entering. He looks around the room for me once he saw I wasn’t in my bed. Once he sees me at the window he then smiles as he made his way towards me, but I cut him off before he said anything. “Exclusive, do you remember the last time you came into my room without knocking?” I asked him while raise an eyebrow at him. He stops for a moment before he answers. “I am not sure this is the first time.” Bad memory this one is. “You have three seconds to get out and knock; before I blow your eardrums off by screaming.” Exclusive looks confused and nervous at my choice of words. Because he knows I can. “Uh? But-” “Three” “You must be-” “Two” Now he is panicking. “I am mean you couldn’t possibly be-” “One,” I said then taking in a deep breath, however, he got the idea and was outside. I laugh to myself knowing that I was just playing around with him. Although I probably would have gone with it anyway. I needed something to lighten my mood, also, I am getting very tired of somepony always barging into my room, without knocking. You would have thought he would have learned the last time he did that. Then there was a knock at the door. “Yes?” “It is Exclusive. May I come in?” “Yes, you may.” he enters the room as I get back in bed. “Hello, Jessica.” “Why Exclusive I wasn’t expecting you to be coming by today,” I said with a little sarcasm in my voice. Exclusive just shakes his head smiling. “Right. Anyways, Jessica, I came on by to see how everything was going.” “Oh really? Well, every…-” I notice that somepony had been snickering nearby. We both turned to the door to see a pink pony and matching tail holding a hoof to his mouth before bursting out laughing and falling on his back, while kicking his hind legs in the air. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t that funny,” Exclusive said looking at the pony on the floor. “What is not funny?” said a voice next to my ear causing me to scream like a fil-mare like a mare. Turning to my right I could see that it was Pinkie who had…. wait. I turned my head back and forth between looking at the pink pony next to me and the one on the floor several times before I stop. Putting a hoof to my head as I closed my eyes. “Ok, there are two Pinkies here.” Raising my hooves in the air I shouted: “Can somepony tell me what is wrong with this picture?” The Pinkie on the floor got up and to my surprise. It turned out that she was a he, “Oh, that’s right we haven’t met before. My name is Bubble Berry, but you can just call me Berry, everypony else does.” he moves to hug Pinkie on her left side, “I am Pinkie’s cousin from Las Pegues.” He said with a smile that can revival Pinkie's. And for some reason I could see their tails twitching for some reason. “Ah oh! Twitchy tail,” Berry said also noticing their tails, “Yeap you know what that means.” Pinkie replies as Exclusive looks nervously around the room and out the window. Being the only pony out of the loop here I had to ask, “What does it means?” “It means something is going to fall,” they said together. My only response was a groan. I really don’t know if this is true not. But it is too early to deal with this. A headache was coming onto me as I was trying to understand what is going on. Rubbing the back my neck with my foreleg. I lean my head back stretching my neck as I let out a groan. And to my surprise when I open my eyes there was something on the ceiling. My eyes widen as I see the biggest blackest spider-like thing up there. “WHAT IN ALL THAT IS GOOD IS THAT?” Then to my horror, it let go of the ceiling fall right on top of me, but I manage to get out of the way just in time. I can hear the screams of other ponies nearby as I fell to the ground with a soft thud. Quickly I crawled away from the bed so I can get back on my hooves. I turned around to see that whatever that thing was now in the corner of the room shaking in fear as the Pink duo cornering it with two canons pointing straight at it…Wait. What! Where did the canons come from? There is no way those two had them on themselves those things are as big as they are. Wait a minute, its true! Something did fall! I better be more careful around Pinkie and her cousin if they can predit the future. Even if same intent warning. But that’s for later. Right now, I got to find out what wanted to squash me. Moving closer for a better look at the creature, and to my surprise, it turns out to be a Diamond Dog in ninja outfit with a large bag with him for some reason. “Ok Mr. Sneaky D.D. Start talking or else you get it!” Pinkie said while looking at the dog with a mean look in her eye. Good golly, I hope I will never have to face that. She looks legitimately scary right now. The Diamond dog looks very scared as he stares into the barrels of the canons in front of him. “I..I..I…I…I” he stuttered as he tried to think of something that won’t get himself killed. I could feel an eye twitch on my left eye as I stare at it in disbelief. Another Diamond Dog. Another pain in the rear to deal with. Maybe Twilight was right about them getting smarter. But then again, they aren’t smart enough to not get caught by the ones they are... wait a moment. HOLD ON A SECOND! “You’re the dog that ponnynapped me from Exclusive house, aren’t you?” That got his attention as he looks at me. “I knew pony looked familiar. What is pony doing here? Pony should be in a cage underground.” “Then you probably haven’t heard. After you kidnapped me, we escaped shortly afterward.” I smiled at his face before another thought crossed my mind. “By the way how are you able to stick to the ceiling like that. You are a dog, not a spider.” “I won’t talk pony.” He said crossing his arm and closing his eyes before lifting his nose into the air. Oh really? “I will give you a treat.” “I don’t want a-” he stops as he got excite, “What kind of treat?” I didn’t think he would actually ask that, “A bone?” He huffs and looks away, “Not talking.” So close, Well, this is going to get me nowhere. Wait I got it! I saw something this in a movie once. “You know you are probably right.” Everyone looked at me in confusion, “I guess we have no more use for him then.” I got closer to one of the canons and gentle push Pinkie aside. “I will just put you out of your misery then.” I pulled on the cord to fire, only for nothing to happen. Oh! Thank you, Pinkie, for not loading it! Otherwise, this would have turn out bad. I turned to her, “Hay! Pinkie what is the deal with not loading the canon.” “Sorry.” She said as she loads it. “This never happened before.” she steps out of the way. “No problem. Now where I? Oh, yes. I was going to shoot you!” I said pointing the canon at the now wetting himself dog. “Wait!” A grin comes to my face “Yes?” “It’s my gloves. They let me hold on any surface no matter what it is, without getting tired.” He holds up his gloves for me to look at. Up close they look like they have hundreds of little toilet plungers on it. “There now was that so hard” Before anything else could be said, a voice could be coming from outside the room, “In here Twilight! The Diamond Dog is here!” I turned around to see Berry coming into the room with Twilight right behind him. Looking back at the other canon I could see Pinkie there instead of Berry. I didn’t even notice that he wasn’t in the room anymore. When did he step out to get Twilight so quickly? Twilight uses her magic to lift the dog into the air bringing it to her. “You got some nerve coming back to Ponyville after what you did the last time you were here Diamond Dog,” Twilight growled as him. And it might be my imagination, but I think her eyes have turned a deep shade of red. She takes the D.D. outside probable for interrogation. “Aw, but I wasn’t done playing with him yet,” I said disappointedly. “Wait! You were only playing with the dog?” Exclusive said making himself known again. “I thought for sure you were going to hurt him.” “In a way, I did.” Soon after the pink duo left, saying something about cupcakes needing to be made ASAP. I had no idea where their canon went when they left or how they got them out, but it is giving me a headache trying to figure it out. I made my way back to my bed as I massage my face in my hooves, “Can you believe it Exclusive. Another Diamond Dog wanting to kidnap me!” Exclusive was about to say something but stop mid-sentence before he tries again. “Kidnap, don’t you mean ponynap?” “No, I mean… never mind.” Falling backwards I drop my head onto my pillow, “I just don’t believe it.” I turn to look at him “Anyways Exclusive I am glad that you did so happen to come by. There’s something I needed help with.” “Oh? Really what is it?” Sitting back up, I got ready to tell another story, “Do you remember when I told you I am not a pony right?” He thinks about this before replying, “Oh, yes I remember. What did you mean by that Jessica?” “That I wasn’t born a pony. In fact, I pretty sure that I am not even from this world all together.” For some reason he got nervous by that statement, but I ignored it, “But that is not what is important right now. What I am getting at is that I don’t want to cause anypony any problems and I just want to go home. And the princess knows of a way of how to send me back home.” “Really? That’s wonderful!” “Yes. However, she said that she needs more time before she can show me the way.” “Really? How come? Normally Twilight would have jumped at the chance to help out a pony in need.” Not wanting to get into another augment about humans again, I choose a different choice of words, “Well, my case is special. And so, until then I am going to have to wait until she does. However, the bigger problem I am facing right now is that I have nowhere to go in the meantime.” I hold a hoof in front of his face making him go cross-eyed looking at my hoof, “And before you say it, I will point out that living with you would be a bad idea.” He looks sad before he pushes my hoof away, “It wouldn’t be so bad. But I will respect your wishes. So, what is it that you want form me?” “I was wondering if you could help me find a place to stay.” “Well I could ask some of my friends to see if they can help you. But which one?” He put a hoof to his chin as he starts to think. “Oh! I know. You can stay with Pinkie Pie.” I gave him a deadpan stare “Exclusive. Repeat what you just said, and then imagine if you had to do so, while still injured.” “Oh. I can see your point there.” He smiled at his mistake. “Ok, what about Fluttershy?” Ok is he even trying? “Fluttershy. The same mare who chased you and the fillies across Ponyville Yesterday; with all the intent of kissing you to death?” Raising an eyebrow, before I stare into his soul “And you want me to stay with her?” He backed up a little, before huffing, “Oh, come on. She didn’t mean it. She wasn’t in control of her actions during the time.” I put a hoof to my chin as I started to do a recap of what happened that day. “Now that you mention it. Didn’t somepony say she was under the effects of a love poison?” “Yes, Sweetie Belle said that. But I have no idea of how she got it in the first place.” He said shrugging. “Now that I think about it. Earlier that day when she was unconscious in my room, I saw her eating...” I turned to glare at Exclusive. “Eating the roses, you brought me.” A small growl escaped my mouth “Care to explain that Exclusive?” “Huh, wait she did?” He lowers his head in thought, “That would explain how she ingested the love poison.” He raises his head, “But I didn’t bring you any roses yesterday Jessica.” My rage went out the window, “What? But then who brought those roses then?” Now I am confused is there another pony that likes me and hadn’t said anything about it yet. Or something else? “Unless you are trying to pin this on somepony else.” pointing my hoof again. He sighs sadly looking at me, “No Jessica I am not. And if I did bring you roses yesterday, I would have made sure you got them. I am still working on your new dresses and forgot to get you roses. I didn’t even know you like roses.” I look at him with disbelief, “What kind of girl doesn’t like roses?” “Rainbow,” “Enough said. Wait way are you using Rainbow as a refence? She is about as tomboy a mare can get. That doesn’t count. I am nothing like her. You can’t compare me to her.” “I will admit that wasn’t a good judgement on my part. I am sorry Jessica. Would you like me to get you roses from now on?” “Yes, I mean no! I mean… forget it.” I said crossing my forelegs. “Anyways that still leaves me without a place to stay.” “Wait I got it. You can stay at the boutique.” That got my attention. “So, you want me to stay in a clothes store?!” Is that even allowed? “You can’t be pulling on my leg here Exclusive!” He chuckles, “Well, we need to ask Sweetie Belle permission first. She lives there along with her sister, but she is out of town right now.” “Well if she is ok with it than I don't… Hold on there. Is this the same Sweetie Belle that I have met before, the filly?” “Why yes.” “But she is just a filly and she lives home alone! What kind of parents does she have anyways that would allow that!” “Well, I am mostly in charge of her until Rarity comes back. Which should be in about a week.” That calmed my nerves down a little. “Alright. I guess it couldn’t hurt living with a little filly, after all, what harm can one little filly do anyways?” And why do I feel like I just jinxed myself?