//------------------------------//
// Yes it's finally over. 
// Story: Oh Hia Cutie Mark 
// by Dez Keiz 
//------------------------------//

Tommy and the other boarded the train and were soon on their way to Canterlot. Tommy fell asleep on the ride as the train went bla bla bla fillers about the train ride. 

MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DICKS. 

Leaf flew into the dumpster where the DICKS were hiding. Suri put LEAF to her ear. She smiled and addressed her evil minions. 

"Listen well fellow DICKS, the time has come for our revenge. Make haste to Canterlot"

The group was qucik to run leaving a dust cloud behind them. Suri watched them run for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Canterlot is the other way."

They changed their direction and headed out. But Leaf was feeling nervous. He was thinking about the risk of this mission. What would his wife and kids do if he were to not come back. But he knew he had to to this to protect them and others of his kind. Even his neighbor Roy, who borrowed his lawnmower but never returns it. Also he might be sleeping with his wife. That two timing skank. Are his kids really even his? After all Li'l Chloroplast did seem a bit brown like his neighbor. Not that there is a problem with brown leaves. Some of Leaf's best friends are brown leaves, but it is suspicious. 

In Canterlot the train finally arrived at the station. The group walked around for a bit when someone decided they should get Tommy gifts before he leaves. They all went off and met up later. Tommy also got gifts for the Ponies. He got Twilight a roll a toilet paper, Apple Jack a gold club, Pinkie Pie a potato, Rarity a spoon, Rainbow Dash a water bottle, and Fluttershy got a packet of gum. They were confused at first but dismissed it as Tommy being Tommy. As for his gifts, Twilight got him a book about Equestrian history, Fluttershy got him a bunny plushie, Rainbow Dash gave him a hoofball, Pinkie Pie give him a cake, AJ got him a bottle of cider, and Rarity got him a black top hat. They talked for a while and headed to the castle. 

At the castle they were greeted by two guards, both of them were facing the wrong way and the one on the left seemed to be eating crayons. They went past the guards and met up with Celestia. 

Celestia smiled at them, "You have arrived, let us make haste and send you home."

"Thank you." Said Tommy.

"Yes, now let us get this shit fest over wi-"

She was interupted and there was a loud crash and shatter of glass. Suri and her DICKS got in threw a window. Celestia ordered the guards to grab them. When one of them charged, he tripped over his own incompetence. In doing so he ended up impailing himself on his own spear. The other guards tried but all failled miserably by falling out the window, bumping into each other or just running around in circles confused. Celestia looked at them and sighed.

"Well Twilight, it's up to you." She said.

"Celestia, can't you help?" Asked Twilight.

"Come on Twilight, by now you know that I won't do shit even if existence itself is threatened"

"Right."

"Well, use friendship and magic and friends are power and stuff...by." She flew off.

Suri stepped forward at smiled. She spoke in a voice of anger.

"Now! You will face the wrath of those you have wronged. For we are DICKS!"

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie started laughing. The other four mares face hoofed and Tommy looked around in confusion. 

Rainbow struggled to stop laughinh,"DICKS. you called yourself DICKS!"

Tommy looked at the celling,"I don't get it."

Twilight stood in defence of her friends,"What do you want Suri!"

Suri smiled,"To cause the suffering you caused me and the others!"

"Others?"

"Yes others, Zesty Gourmand a food critic you ruined, Svengallop a manager who lost his career because of you, some douche bag from Manehatten who got cheated out of a deal."

Douche Bag interupted with,"I have a name ya know, it's-"

"Shut up Douche Bag" Suri continued,"And finally Leaf, who is tired of watching his kind be murdered for sport ever year."

Twilight looked at them and sighed,"Really, I mean really. We have deafeted fucking Gods and those with god like powers! And this is the shit they pull for the climax. Way to fucking go Dez Keiz, lovely fucking writting."

"Enough fourth wall breaks!" Shouted Suri, "Now you will know pain, DICKS attack!"

Tommy smiled, "Oh I get it, DICKS, hahaha is so funny."

The DICKS charged with Leaf in front. Leaf floated toward Twilight who shot him with a magic blast, Leaf fell to the ground bunring slowly and painfully. He screamed terrible screams as his outer layer burned. He thought of his family. He wished he could see them. He wanted the pain to end and he wanted to die. His world went black and he absorbed is final painful breath of Carbon Dioxide and fell into the void of darkness.

"Oh fuck!" Souted Douched Bag as he stopped in his tracks."

Zesty shouted,"Leaf!"

Svengallop screamed,"No!"

"Keep fighting!" ordered Suri.

"Fuck that, I'm not ending up like him!" Douche Bag yelled with fear. 

"Douche Bag, if you don't get back in the fight I swear-" Suri was interupted.

"Screw you, I'm out!" He ran towards the window and prepared to jump out.

"Douche Bag, get back here now!"

"And I have a name by the way, it's-" He fell out the window before he could finish,"Fuuuuuuuck!"

"Son of a bitch, okay. Just keep fighting we don't need him anyways."

Zesty went to Tommy and looked him in the eye.

"By Celestia." she commented, "What shit hole did you crawl out of?" 

Tommy replied,"Wow, you kinda suck."

"How dare you, ugh!" She trotted away in disgust. 

Suri watched her trot away,"What the fuck!, what the actual fuck! Sven, you are still with me right?"

"Ya know it baby, in the fight an fabulous!" Sven bosted.

Apple Jack snuck up behind him and pulled some hair from his mane.

Svengallop screamed in horror,"My mane, by beautiful mane!" He ran away crying.

Rarity watched him and commented,"What a diva."

He jumped out the window and landed on Douched Bag. This caused him to state.

"Ohh, what a nice landing. I always did like being on top."

Suri now stood alone.

"Tommy," She said "Please, come back. I do love you.

Tommy looked into her eyes and said, "Go fuck yourself bitch."

She ran away crying  as the others watched. Celestia came back on congradulated them on the victory. She lead them to a empty room.

"Tommy", she said."Are you ready to return home?"

Tommy smiled,"Yes, thank you. Thank you all. I have made many friends on this journey, and despite the hardships I would not trade this experience for anythi-"

"Yeah yeah, we don't have time and the writter doesn't want to write a speech, so go."

Celestia levitated a crystal to the center of the room and shot a beam of magic into it. A rift began to open up. The room began to shake.

Tommy shouted,"You are tearing a hole in the fabric of space and time Celestia!"

As the rift began to show Earth Tommy walked close. He turned back and smile at his friends. Just then Suri came out of no where and tackled Tommy. They both fell into the rift going through the pink and blue swirls. 

Celestia and the other ponies watched as the rift closed.

Celestia let out a relieved sigh, "Well, glad that's over."

The ponies nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile in the mortal realm Tommy woke up to see a woman in a pink dress with purple highlights and a blue scarf. It was Suri. He slowly got up but was drawn back when she pulled out a gun that she somehow found and knows how to use.

"Suri..." Said Tommy.

Suri looked him dead in the eye,"If I can't have you no one can!"

"Suri..."

"What! are you gonna say you love me, that you want me back?"

"No."

"Then what? What is it Tommy!"

"Zamboni."

"What?"

"Zamboni."

"What the- you know what. Forget it. Goodbye Tommy." 

Her finger inched toward the trigger but before she could pull it she was struck by a hard forced. A Zamboni hit her and it was being driven by Caitlyn Jenner. The Zamboni continued to drive as it ran her over. Caitlyb drove off into the sunset leaving behind a trail of blood.

Tommy looked at the flattened body and remarked, "Okay bye."

He walked to his house. He went his computer and sat down. He opened a word document and titled it, "The Room 2."

A year has passed and the Room 2 released to success. It gained 69,000,000 dollars it's opening week. The film spawned a spin of television show, an anime, a video game, a Broadway musical, a manga, a toy line, and a breakfast cereal. There were even talks of the Room 3 already being in production. Disney would eventually by the rights and Square Enix would make it a world in Kingdm Hearts 358/2.3.14 Destiny of the Coded Unchained Sleep of Memories Final Mix. 

Back in Equestria it was discovered that Tommy's stupid gifts to the ponies when put together in a special placed form a giant mech of friendship. It came with friendship rockets, lasers, and machine guns. It also came with seat warmers and a shaved ice maker. 

Funeral rights were held by Leaf's family. The funeral was interupted by a leaf blower. There were no survivors. This resluted in the leaves declaring war on Equestria to which they replied.

"Bitch please, we have a mech."

Zesty started reviewing fast food places and eventually died of a heart attack.

Svengallop finally came out of the closet and confessed his love for Douche Bag. They got married and Douche's Bag real name was still never revealed.

Spike still gets the short end of the stick.

And finally since this damn story has about the same amount of endings as Return of the King.

Twilight and he friends sat at a cafe eating lunch. Suddenly the ground began to shake. A pink and blue portal opened up in the sky.

Twilight looked up.

"Now what?" She asked in an annoyed voice.

The body of a pony fell from the sky and landed causing a crater. The Mares gathered around and looked at the new arrival. It was an Earth Pony, he was brown with a curly black mane and a twisted tail. He had a cutie mark, it was a rope, twisted into several knots. He looked around a the ponies, then down at his hooves. Then he spoke.

"What a twist."

Twilight face hoofed,"Well Shit, there goes Equestria."



The End