//------------------------------// // Calling // Story: Finding My Place // by Fluttersherp //------------------------------// Alone. That seemed to be the only thing I could grow attached to these days, the only thing that had made a recurring appearance within the boundaries of which I called my new life. While "new" was, in a way, the wrong word to use, as I had been masquerading and holding this unfamiliar form for around five years now, I still felt that strange, scratchy feeling you get whenever a new aspect is introduced to the relentless routine we call reality. Despite the extended amount of time spent waiting, wandering, and searching, I've still no answers to my main questions, the same exact ones that had appeared approximately five years ago when I first woke up here. Where was I? Who am I? Who was I? These three questions seemed to threaten and engulf every corner of my mind that wasn't now occupied with my observations of the here and now, and the restless instincts that I have now grown with. Unfortunately, my current evidence has changed not a single bit since that day, and I have grown to realize that these may just have to be the answers, if only to just end my constant urge to find, to learn, to understand what these questions truly meant and how they pertained to me now. I had no idea where I was. I've been in forests, deserts, even a swamp once, but none of these physical factors lead to any accurate or appealing guesses. The only evidence as to who I am is the form that I now wear, whether I like it or not. A sleek, black, scaly body with a surprising amount of aerodynamic-ability, with sharp fangs that seemed to only come whenever I willed them to or when my new, eager instincts took their toll upon my senses. I had wings as well, but I had never actually tried to take flight. Why I desperately fought for the search of these answers, I truly didn't know. No information about my previous life had been left in my mind or memories. What was the point in the relentless adventure I now took upon if I had no recollection of what I truly was, what life I lead, and what experience I had gained? Or, perhaps, this was my real life? No. I shook my head, putting a black, clawed hand to my temples, rubbing them for a mere moment. I seemed to slip into these thought trains more and more often, though I didn't know why. I liked to pretend that the fact of it was that my mind had started it's own desperate attempt at finding answers, that even it knew it didn't belong. While the hope was almost futile at this point, it still helped to believe. I took a quick look around me, though I didn't expect to see anything different. It was the same old forest, the one that I had taken most of my stay in this world; I had found a cave a few miles off, and I set myself up there. After all, no answers would arise if I let myself die, though my instincts may not let me do that, no matter how hard I forced. It was a quaint little place. I had gathered hundreds of leaves to make myself a small, slightly-more-comfortable-than-the-floor mattress. It wasn't much, I'll admit, but anything to improve my current condition was most welcome. I had been walking for some time now, While my stomach was growling at me, and my hunter's instinct had butt in a few hours ago, I was mainly walking for the zen of it all; the fact that, despite how vulnerable I was, how easy I was, nothing would even come near me; it was the natural order of things, after all. The smaller things stayed away from the bigger things, and, from what I could tell, the only things that inhabited these woods besides me were barely half my size. I mainly fed on rabbits, dear, fish... Anything that had no thought of being able to escape, really. I wasn't very apt at hunting, mind you, but these basic animals seemed more than enough for me to survive and fuel this body on. I had tried for a fox, once, though I ended up slamming straight into a tree. It did shake free a piece of fruit, though, so I didn't feel too bad about it. It felt strange eating these things raw, though it's seemed to be decent thus far. The world I now inhabited, the world I could do nothing else but call my home for now, was strange to say the least. Everything seemed so alive, so lush and free; the grass and the trees, basically any sort of vegetation, shone brilliantly, whether it be night or day. The air had a weird tickle to it, almost as if a strange force controlled and manipulated it, as if by magic nonetheless. I continued my little trek through the trees, looking around occasionally as I did. Little bits of dust and other such particles floated and soared through the air, catching the light from the bright, big sun above, giving them the guise of a smaller lightning bug. Purple, blue, and even red flowers littered any area not occupied by trees and other small bushes. The trees wound and twisted their ways painfully into the sky, almost as if working towards the ultimate goal of touching the clouds. While none of them would ever reach them, I thought it good to strive. I related to them, in a weird sort of way; we both looked towards a single thing, but we would almost certainly never reach them. Really, who here would know why I was here, why I was like this and who I used to be? It would take a miracle for someone like that to exist, someone who could help me with no prior knowledge on my situation. It's just, nothing seemed to add up. Based on who I was now, I had always, or at least for about five years, assumed that I was about as important back on... From wherever I was originally from. In the entirety of the universe, I was a speck in the distance, and now I was nothing different; a speck was the best anything could be in this universe. No matter if you changed history, made the world a better place, you were nothing to the universe and whichever twisted mind oversaw the control of it. Nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing. Wait... What is that? I stopped dead in my tracks, my weight being thrown backwards in order to steady my front-heavy body. My tail slapped the ground hard, sending some leaves that had taken their leave upon the ground soaring once again, if only for a few mere moments. I blew a bit of air out of my black, flaring nostrils, my breath appearing in the mild chill of the day. Something had started to flow through my body, through my veins and through my arteries, injecting itself into the rest of my body. It felt odd. It willed me, urged me, to turn and head towards a new direction, one completely different from the one I looked and faced towards. It felt urgent, almost like if I didn't go, I would miss out on something extremely important, though what that was was still a mystery. I looked around to be sure nothing had drugged me, because this was the first time I had ever felt anything like this, even on this strange planet. It wasn't drugs or any other thing like that, though, and I knew because of how it felt. It felt the same as sitting in the middle of the forest after a rainy day, or even just staring out an open window with the wind blowing your hair back; it felt natural, like I, or perhaps my body and form, was supposed to feel it. Given that fact, though, I was still not entirely sure what to do. I could ignore the urge and go about my lonesome, unbeknownst business, or I could follow what my body was telling me to do. While even that was still not entirely known to me, I seemed to almost know where it was pushing me. It was a volcano, one that loomed menacingly over its surroundings. How I knew this, I had no idea, and how my brain and memories seemed to just now be influenced by this feeling was right alongside it. I turned my head towards the direction my new internal compass was pointing; blue skies as far as I could see, yet I could almost feel the volcano in the distance, my destination sitting within its crater. Should I? Could I, even? I paused to think about this, my eyes fixated on the clouds that soared above me, tainting the perfect beauty of the blue sky. Could this be, perhaps, a call from the others of my kind. I cringed a bit thinking about how I thought about this form as my own, how close I had apparently gotten to it within the recent years. That didn't subtract from the thought, though, that perhaps, just maybe, I could meet others of this kind, ones that shared a form, mind, and appreciation similar to my own? Despite all of the actual logistics of the situation, though, the thought still sat with me, enticing me to choose it, if not just to satisfy my own curiosity. Why was I feeling this? Why was this volcano my destination. Great. More questions to add to my collection. No, I would not let any more of my questions be unanswered. I took on a determination, one for answers and for the slight annoyance at my lack of understanding, my lack of knowledge on all of this. I turned my body towards the magnetic pull, my previous spot being marked by smashed down grass. I folded my legs at the joints, getting lower and lower towards the ground, until I threw myself into the air and used my wings, still stiff from being attached to the side of my body for so long. My eyes opened wide as the satisfying feeling of the chill wind caressed my body, giving me the will and the strength to continue. My wings flapped hard, the sound being nothing but noisy in the still atmosphere of the forest as the trees around me were pushed backwards, my body gaining altitude. For the first time in five years, I felt ready to be lead. I just hoped it was leading me to answers. With a little bit more stabilization adjustments, I was on my way towards my newly found destiny as if I had been ready for my entire life. Perhaps I was.