//------------------------------// // Cathing a firefly in the system // Story: FUnknown surroundings // by Chuckward //------------------------------// The sunlight awoke D-pad. She attempted to open her eyes but found the blinding light of the sun too painful to bear and shut them quickly.She rolled over to get her sensitive eyes in the shade, but found her muzzle attaching to something unfamiliar. She decided to explore the area with her tongue, sending it sliding into the unfamiliar area and soon found the tongue of another pony. Their tongues engaged in an intimate dance, each one wrestling for dominance. The sensual kiss seemed to last forever, until Diane was struck in the temple by an unknown object. "What the hell,"demanded an angry Firefly,"Why did you do that?" "I kissed a girl and I liked it," replied D-pad,”and why the cunt are you in my fucking bed?” “Because a nigga stole my bike.” “Firefly we can’t ride bikes because we’re ponies.” “FUCKING WHORE DON’T BASH MY DREAMS,”Firefly said quietly. Then a whale crushed the house. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Hello bitch,”said sunstone as she rubbed her ass on the doorknob,”where the clitoris is D-pad?” “My name is Glitch you cumdumpster,”Glitch said emotionlessly, pointing towards the door of D-pad’s room. “The actual fuck is up with the little whore,”Sunstone thought to herself,”Usually she is bubbly and happy,and racist,but now she’s bland,lifeless,and almost transparent,like Michael Jackson.” Sunstone reached her friends bedroom door.She paused before opening it,hearing a faint voice. “Why the vagina is D-pad talking to herself,”the unicorn thought.Sunstone wrapped the door in her magic. “Hey Diane is mitch,I mean bitch,I mean Glitch okay?She’s being kind of a cun-”She shut the fuck up when she noticed the scene in front of her. Standing just a few feet away was D-pad, her mane was crusty as if it had skeet on it. She looked at Firefly who’s mane was perfectly straight due to the amount of horse blood that she drank. Both smelled of sweat and shame, and both had raging wingboners.They stood in silence for at least fourteen seconds. D-pad broke the silence with Maxwell’s Silver Hammer,”Sunstone this is definitely not what it looks like, me and Firefly did not fuck last night and Glitch’s tears were not used as lubricant.” Sunstone began to mumble bee(because she had a cold making mumble sound like bumble...so.....bumble bee....),”You two.....together...”a glascow smile began to form on her horse herpes crusted face. D-pad and Firefly watched in great confusion,”Ohh D-pad-san your confusion bring great shame to your famiry,”Firefly said in her now Japanese accent because I needed jokes for the series. D-pad didn’t respond,”Uh you okay Sunny D which contains only five percent juice?” Sunstone began to guffaw(because I like that word),”you two are carpet licking fillyfoolers hahahahahahahah lol rofl lmao I knew you two wanted to fuck, I just knew it hahaha watch Toonami at 12:00 a.m. eastern 9:00 p.m. pacific on Adult Swim,even though it’s bullshit right now and the fact that they are playing Bleach instead of a good anime that hasn’t been milking the plot for far too long because the creator likes money is raping my childhood.” Then outside, a car spun out of control and crashed into a tree. “I miss Macho Man,” Said a random background pony. “Anyway,” said Firefly cornelius jermajesty jackson the thirty-eighth,”Are we all ready to leave so we can ride the freedom train?” “We told you that Harriet Tubman is dead,”replied D-pad,”and thank god she is.” “My god, I’ve deficated in the swimming recepticle,”said bob the builder. Then the author descended from god’s home otherwise known as hell and said,”There are no bad ideas.” Upon reading that last horrible sentence the reader killed themselves and then shut down the computer. “God damnit you ass ramming uncle fuckers we need to get our stuff and go ride the friendship express,”Sunstone politely said. “NIGGERS,”said the guy from the O.J. trial. Then the author descended from god’s home otherwise known as hell and said,”There are no bad ideas.” Upon reading that last horrible sentence the reader killed themselves and then shot the pope. Then Glitch was really cranky so D-pad shoved a dog turd up her vagina and that cheered glitch up. hfjahdcfkdshniggerckskhdwsavgh Then glitch said ,”It’s morphin’ time,”and pulled out her power coin. Then the author descended from god’s home otherwise known as hell and said,”There are no bad ideas.” Upon reading that last horrible sentence the reader killed themselves and then pulled out their power coin and morphed into the angry guy who leaves complainy comments ranger. god isn’t black anyway while I was writing this poorly conceived part of this awful parody d-pad and the others went to their gay little fag train. for reading this you are going to hell. the game. unfortunately because of morbid obesity there were very few seats left on the gay train for faggots and each of the gay faggot loser nigger bitch ass whore cumfuckers ponies had to sit in separate seats. D-pad ended up sitting next to a leper pony.D-pad politely lifted her leg for a hoofshake,but when the leper pony raised her hoof to accept the greeting her leg fell off. Also she is a blind orphan with cancer in her ass. Just then A purple earth pony jumped out of his seat and yelled,”I’M OFF TO TAKE A SHIT AND GIVE IT TO THE POOR,”then he flew away.