“Well, this is a lovely birthday present, isn’t it?”
Discord stood on the barren earth, hands held in the air, pendant hanging loosely around his neck. No less than a dozen changeling guards stood around him, crossbows pointing everywhere from his stomach to his skull, glaring.
Discord flashed the one in front of him a cheerless smile. It responded with a snarl and a narrowing of its teal eyes.
“I’ll admit that I’m somewhat surprised and unexpectedly disappointed,” the Draconequus pressed. “I had half-expected for a more jovial greeting, to say nothing of a more colorful one. Why have the lot of you returned to that homogenous black-and-green look? It’s certainly less tacky, but it outright screams “villain.” And let me tell you, if I find out that you’ve somehow allowed Queen Chrysalis to dominate the lot of you again, I will be sorely disappointed.”
Silence.
“Aren’t you going to deign to give me a simple response? I’m shocked, truly. There’s such an utter lack of couth displayed by the lot of you that, were I not a more evolved and intelligent creature, I might find myself annoyed by your utter dearth of decorum.”
Silence.
“Well, are you going to shoot me or not? Or are you waiting for some sort of backup-”
The air behind the changeling in front of him shimmered, before - with a small popping noise - Thorax materialized.
Discord’s smile lapsed into a far more genuine grin. “Ah! I see that you haven’t given up your multihued motley, old chum. Do you think you could do me the honor of telling your little accomplices to lower their weapons?”
Thorax gave a curt nod. “Guards.”
As one, the guards lowered their crossbows, briefly filling the air with chittering sighs. Discord relaxed, crossing his arms in front of him and arching an eyebrow at the changeling king.
“Charming welcome wagon you’ve rolled out, Your Highness.”
“Things have changed. Come with us, and don’t use any magic.”
“If I felt genuinely threatened, do you honestly think i wouldn’t be surrounded by a troupe of butterscotch frogs instead of this haphazard task force you’ve assembled?” Discord snorted, eliciting glares from several of the guards around him. “We’ll have to have a heart-to-heart about that, if you don’t mind-”
“Will you please just shut up and listen for ten seconds?”
Discord paused. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“We’re in serious danger of being attacked by something that could obliterate all of us in seconds. It’s attracted to magic. We’ve gone underground figuratively and literally to avoid attracting its attention, and your appearance may have just given us away. So please, come with us and don’t say anything, and as soon as I’m sure that we’ll be relatively safe then you can go back to telling jokes. Okay?”
Discord opened his mouth to say something; then, evidently thinking better of it, he closed his mouth and nodded. Wordlessly, Thorax turned around and walked.
The fourteen of them marched in silence. Occasionally, the crunch of an underhoof pebble or the whistle of a weak breeze broke the quiet, but an unspoken tension remained. The absence of noise grew profound, an entity in and of itself, and Discord felt the urge to say something - anything - if only to break the unsettling calm.
Abruptly, Thorax stopped, beating his hoof twice against the ground. “Password.”
The ground ahead of him shifted, then cracked. A slab of sandstone tilted into the earth; ahead of them lay a dark tunnel and a pungent, undefinable smell. Together they descended into the darkness, and it wasn’t until the last guard’s tail disappeared into the gloom when Thorax spoke again.
“One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven.”
Discord rolled his eyes. “Really? Those are your idea of passwords?”
“They work, don’t they?”
“Oh, but of course. I’m sure the string of numbers works wonders on the suitcase for some ample-bodied tourist fifteen minutes into his visit to Las Pegasus, too. And I guarantee it’d work wonders for an unpracticed rogue trying to break into said suitcase fifteen minutes afterwards. Quite the brilliant mind, you are.”
The sandstone creaked back into place, sealing them in shadow. A second later, Thorax’s horn flickered and sprang into light, revealing the roughly hewn earth around them.
Discord smirked. “Oh, so now we’re allowed to use magic?”
“The kind that doesn’t involve turning my guards into butterscotch frogs, yes. Or anything else. They’re just doing their jobs.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Your Majesty. I just thought I’d lighten up the mood.” Discord snapped his fingers, and a halo of light sprung up around him, bathing the tunnel in a warm glow. “See? I felt it essential, but assumed that a joke might be somewhat gauche. Not that these surroundings aren’t a joke, of course.”
Thorax stiffened. “And what exactly do you mean by that?”
“Look at this. Skulking around in caverns, shutting off your magic, reducing your changeling guards down to this disactualized rabble. I thought that you’d gone and restored everything to harmony, happiness and a contrasting melange of pastels. I can’t say I was expecting this.”
“And I can’t say I was expecting you, either.” Thorax kept walking. “I suppose life’s full of disappointments that way.”
“Oh, har-dee-har-har. And here I was, assuming that I might be greeted as something resembling a friend during my visit. Did our glorious hours of working together to save Equestria mean nothing to you?”
“Things change.”
“Why?”
“Our lives are-”
“Besides that. Is there some particular reason why you’ve maintained this hostile posture towards me? Is it something I’ve done? Because I’m almost positive that this has crossed beyond familial concern and taken up residence in out-and-out antagonization, and there’s little I can do to rectify that unless you tell me what’s wrong. And please don’t try to sell me some sort of line about our relationship being irreconcilable. You aren’t like that.”
“...and why am I not like that, exactly?”
“Because, mon amie, that is the behavior of a petulant foal who thinks they are unassailable. That is the stance of those who make a position of superiority that only they can inhabit, and unreasonably expect all others to kneel in subservience to their greatness. That sort of casual disdain, That sort of unwarranted aggression, That sort of self-destructive stubbornness is a hallmark of those who know nothing of true suffering.”
Thorax stopped. Gingerly, he turned around; beneath the light of his horn, guilt dulled his eyes into weathered marbles. “Can we talk about this later, Discord? Please?”
Discord opened his mouth, paused and closed it again.
“...Fair enough. Once we get to...wherever it is we’re going, at the very least. Which is…”
“We don’t live in tunnels. Be patient.”
Wordlessly, they continued. Gradually, the tunnels grew wider, than wetter. Puddles pockmarked the stone, breaking the hollow procession with tiny splashes. Later, these were replaced by faint, warm breezes, not unlike the breathing of some gigantic creature.
Silence reigned the entire time.
When the end of the tunnel finally grew lighter, the relief that washed over the group was almost palpable. Discord was about to breathe a sigh of relief when his light flickered, then died.
Quirking an eyebrow, Discord snapped his fingers. Nothing.
A shiver ran up his spine as the end of the tunnel loomed into view. The realization that Thorax’s light hadn’t gone out was even less reassuring.
“We’re here,” Thorax stated as he drew to a halt, meters away from the jagged edge of what must have been a cliff. As Discord exited the tunnel to draw level with him, the Draconequus gaped.
If the caverns of Queen Chrysalis’s former lair had seemed huge before, they were positively gargantuan now. Whatever blend of physical enlargement and aesthetic emphasis the changelings had used was a resounding success, and Discord felt as if he had stepped into a quarry of unfathomable size and incomprehensible purpose.
Of course, that was without factoring in the ethereal green lights embedded intermittently in the cavern walls. Or the dangling, phosphorescent vines, descending from a ceiling that seemed miles away towards a floor that seemed miles below him. Or the flight of dozens upon dozens of changelings up and down and all around them, black carapaces supported by jagged jade wings, guided with jade eyes in seemingly purposeless directions.
Then there was a small popping noise in Discord’s ears, and the sound of the colony flooded over him. While not enough to make him double over, the droning was certainly loud enough to make him wince - an ugly mishmash of beating wings and unperfected sibilance, echoing indefinitely in the seemingly endless confines of the cave.
Something poked Discord in the side. Turning, Discord saw Thorax’s hoof, wordlessly extended towards him. As Discord took Thorax’s hoof, he saw for a split second that the dull weight of guilt had not entirely left Thorax’s eyes.
Then, beating his wings, the Changeling King took off into the air, dragging Discord behind him.
Blind panic pleaded at Discord to try and struggle free. Logic and reason - or whatever approximation the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony had for those things - told him that squirming would only earn him the freedom of an uninhibited free-fall to an excessively painful death. Gritting his teeth and swallowing his id and a mouthful of phlegm, Discord let himself be dragged up and away from his makeshift platform. Seconds later, his ascent was joined by Thorax’s guards, who took flight as one and filled the space around him with uncanny synchrony.
As they flew upward, Discord tried to figure out what changelings were flying where, and why. It took him under fifteen seconds to give up. The unanimity of their appearance aside, the changeling’s flights still seemed purposeless - into and out of holes in the massive cavern, without materials or signs of any labor at work. Hardly any of them exchanged sentences, or sounds that might have resembled words; none stopped to engage in conversation. A chill ran down Discord’s spine as the realization of how fundamentally alien the changelings were finally sunk in, and he spent the rest of the flight up biting his lip and trying to think of more pleasant things.
Finally, Thorax stopped, hovering over the lip of a ledge as it jutted out in front of another cave. The Changeling King set Discord down before landing, pausing briefly to arch his back in a relieved stretch. Then, with a yawn, he gestured towards the cave, and Discord walked inside.
There was a faint popping sound, and the blaring buzz of the changeling hive disappeared. Discord sighed in relief, and was somewhat amazed to hear himself do it.
“Impressive bit of magic you’ve done, Thorax.”
“Huh?” Thorax replied as he followed Discord inside.
“Oh, it’s easy enough to make a spell that silences all sounds, or all sounds in a certain area, but I’m fairly certain even Starlight Glimmer struggles with selective audio permeability. Much as I’d like to credit this entirely to skill, I can’t help but wonder if this sort of spellcraft is largely performed with sheer power.”
“...What exactly do you mean by that, Discord?”
“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.” Discord chuckled. “It’s just one of a frankly innumerable number of questions I’ve got badgering about in my brain at the moment. I certainly hope that you’ve got a nigh-infinite amount of patience and a supremely capable set of lungs - or whatever equivalent your species has for lungs, anyway…”
Thorax sighed. “Discord…” he trailed off as his guards landed behind him.
“I’m honestly not sure whether to begin with your sudden influx of magical proficiency, the drastic remodeling of your living quarters, the entire rebranding of your fellow denizens…”
“Discord.” Changelings continued to fill the space behind Thorax.
“...the proposed threat of some malevolent entity of gigantic power, the sudden cessation of my magic, and - you know what? Even listing all of my questions is beginning to bore me.”
“Discord.”
“Let’s start with a simpler one, shall we? I’m guessing that the fact that your “guards” have tripled in number over the last ten seconds-”
The sharp glint of over a dozen metal tips on over a dozen notched bolts on over a dozen crossbows twinkled like stars as they pointed at every last square inch of Discord’s body. Dispassionately, Thorax raised a hoof. “Hold.”
Discord snorted. “For pete’s sake, this again? Look, are you going to shoot me or take me hostage? Because the suspense isn’t killing me nearly as quickly as becoming a veritable pincushion would.”
“You realize that I have three dozen changelings pointing lethal weapons at you? I’d advise you to hold your tongue.”
“From what? It’s painfully obvious that you’re not going to shoot me, and I don’t believe for a second that you even want me maimed. You hadn’t really thought out this situation ahead of time, have you?”
“You weren’t supposed to come here-”
“-And as a result, you want to put up a bold, brave, assertive front to show that you’re fully capable of dealing with whatever nuisance you happen to have a problem with. But you’ve done a sloppy job, since I have nothing you want to gain - simply behavior that you wish to address. You’re not asking me to give anything up, and you’ve currently shown that you don’t have any intention of physical or mental coercion. This is a hastily cobbled-together front in an attempt to assert dominance-”
“Be quiet.”
“I will not.” Discord arched a disdainful eyebrow. “Not until you stop pretending that I’m some sort of hostage or prisoner. You possess the means, I’ll grant you that, but you clearly aren’t attempting to gain anything.”
“And...and what if I’m not?”
“Then you’re being a fool. I don’t buy for a second that you’ve fostered any sort of malice in the months since we saved Equestria together. What I see, and go ahead and shoot me for saying this…” Discord stretched, politely covering a yawn with the back of his paw. “I see a scared little ruler, trying desperately to keep things from spiraling more out of control than they already have, both desperate to ‘fix everything’ and unwilling to tyrannize his friends in order to do so.”
“Be quiet!” Thorax’s lower lip trembled.
“I’m not mocking you, you know.” Discord’s voice dropped to a softer, gentler cadence. “I know what fear and desperation feel like. I’m simply trying to convince you to point the weapons elsewhere and talk to me like a friend.”
Thorax’s entire body trembled. The changeling king gulped, and said nothing.
“You’re better than this. And if you think this is who you have to be, then you’re better than you think you are. I promise.”
Thorax’s body sagged. His hoof drooped back to the floor. “...Guards? Disperse.”
The changelings behind Thorax wordlessly took flight. In seconds, only Thorax and Discord remained.
“Much better.” Discord stretched again. “You know, I’m rather glad that I’m able to use magic most of the time. Numbness aside, I don’t enjoy having my limbs and dimensions constrained like this. Makes me feel stiff.”
“...Please don’t do that again, okay?”
“I’m going to assume you mean addressing you outside the manner in which you expected?”
“Yeah. I-I mean, yes! Yes is what I meant. Not ‘yeah’. Sorry.”
Discord snorted. “No need to act formal, old chap. Here’s a bit of advice: the trappings of a conversation are far less indicative of gravity or maturity than the actual nature of the conversation itself. So let’s talk business, shall we? You have what appears to be a rather serious problem on your hooves.”
“I do.”
“And I have rather a dizzying amount of questions to answer.”
“I’ll...okay, if I promise to do the best that I can to answer them, will you promise to help me? Things have gotten really bad.”
“So I surmised. And I think I can do you one better. Look.” Discord removed the pendant from his neck, grabbing the chain in one hand and holding it closer to Thorax. “Look, but don’t touch. It’s quite a powerful artifact, and I’d rather not have it accidentally blow up the hive.”
Thorax peered closer. “...I’m not all that knowledgeable about artifacts, sorry. What is it?”
“I’m not surprised you don’t know about it. ‘Good’ kings and princesses try to bury trinkets that offer great power at a terrible price. And yet, here I am, tasked with carrying this wretched bauble until I find someone worthy of bearing the burden of wearing it.”
Thorax blinked. “Wait. You mean…”
“Granted, I still don’t know what your problem is. I’m the messenger, and proper messengers never ask what their messages are about. But where I’m called, I’m called. And I’m called here, so…” Discord pulled back, draping the pendant back over his head.
“Let’s have a bit of a heart-to-heart, shall we? Then we’ll decide if you’re worthy of paying the price and saving your kingdom.”