The Great Princess Race

by TheGreatEater


Chapter 5

Twilight felt a strange exhilaration overcome her as she flew through the course around and in places through Canterlot. The feeling of pitting herself against her fellow alicorns stirred something inside her, something primal.

At least until she was hit with a turtle shell in the flanks. Letting out a pained yelp she watched as Luna and Cadance sped ahead. With Celestia plodding far behind glittering crystals of frosting sweat forming on her coat that shone around her like miniatures stars.

“Hey no fair!” Scootaloo yelled, pulling Twilight’s tail to the right, blasting a sticky wad of magic that covered Cadance and stuck her to a candy store. The madness inducing colors from her suit brought to life the candy who instantly swarmed the patrons begging to be eaten.

“Eeeww!” Spike moaned, “I’ll get us out of this,” he added with a gag as some of the sticky substance ended up in his nose. Letting out a mighty huff. They were surrounded with a green flame that dragon mailed them to Luna.

***

Luna was glad that her blue turtle shells were doing so well with dealing with the other racers, when whisp of green fire appeared before her and Sweetie Belle, “What’s that?” Sweetie Belle squeaked.

“I don’t know, but we won’t fall for their tricks so easily,” Luna replied releasing a blue turtle shell at the flame as it coalesced. Only for Cadance to appear, but loop the loop behind her. Which put Luna in the rather unfortunate location as lead racer, taking her released shell to the face.

Spike and Cadance cheered as they looked down at Luna crashing below. “That’s the most dangerous flier out of the way,” Cadance squeed.

“What about Twilight?” Spike asked.

“Oh please Spike, both Scootaloo and Twilight are inexperienced. There’s no way they’ll win,” Cadance chided before taking a cupcake to the face, “Celestia on the other hoof…”

Celestia plodded along like a flying brick yelling, “Cupcake attack!!!” pelting a thoroughly confused Twilight, and exasperated Cadance with a storm of cupcakes.

“Yeah! Cupcake attack!” Apple Bloom echoed with a happy giggle as her epic mount passed everypony.

Looking back at Spike, Cadance said, “extreme measures?”

“Extreme measures,” Spike nodded.

***

“So what other attacks do you have?” Apple Bloom asked as they became first in the race after spending so long in the back.

“Well I have a Distraction ability, and the power to block any attack once, per use with my frosting sweat.”

“That’s … that’s kinda weird,” Apple Bloom admitted. Hoping that the most powerful ruler in Equestria had some better abilities.

“Don’t underestimate the power of a good distraction, or a good frosting sweat,” Celestia sagely replied.

It was then that distorted rainbow started forming around Canterlot, “Oh no … she promised never to use that unless necessary,” Celestia shuddered.

“What is it?”

“An Adoracution … brace yourself,” she warned.

Celestia’s star-like sweat formed around Apple Bloom and herself like a shield. While surrounded Apple Bloom asked, “So, what is an Adoracution?”

“It’s an adorable, hnng inducing attack. That warps and reshapes reality. I just hope that it doesn’t -”

“I SENSE A WILD FLUTTERSHY!” Discord yelled from nowhere.

***

“Nailed it!” Cadance yelled as Twilight and Luna were fainted from the attack and Celestia’s infuriating shield would keep her trapped long enough for her to regain a good lead. At least that’s what she thought before she forgot one thing. Adorableness, and accidental chaos was a sure way to summon Discord.

Who for some reason was holding a giant red and white ball, and wearing a red baseball cap. Cringing Cadance yelled, “Sorry Discord that was me!”

“You? But you’re not a Fluttershy,” Discord whined.

“No … I’m not.”

“So, you’re telling me that I got Fluttershy’s favorite pokeball, and I came all the way here hoping to catch a shiny. Only because it turned out that you did the one move I commented on being like Draconequus catnip?”

“Yes?” Cadance replied.

“Alright, no problems,” Discord commented looking down at his strange ball in his hand.

“Really?” Cadance asked hopefully.

“Yep,” Discord replied before hitting Cadance in the head with the ball.

A strange light surrounded her before she found herself inside a strange alien landscape. With a tea set resting on a checkerboard blanket. “It just means that you get to spend some time in the pokeball until after me and Fluttershy have her Discord Time.”

And with that one princess was removed from the race.

***

Scootaloo’s natural immunity to adorable-based attacks was able to help her awaken Twilight shortly after she crashed headfirst into a library.

“Wha?” Twilight mumbled as she came too.

“Quick Twilight! Cadance cheated and we’re lagging behind! I think?” Scootaloo yelled.

“Oh right! The race!”

Twilight stumbled out of the library repeatedly apologizing, just in time to see Discord take Cadance away.

Taking into the air, she reminded herself to not only repair the library later, but to donate some of her special books to make up for breaking holy ground.

“Okay, so who’s left?” Twilight asked.

“Luna and Sweets are still out, and I think that giant ball floating in the air is Celestia and Apple Bloom.”

“Perfect. Let’s win this!” Twilight yelled. Just before a turtle shell hit her in the flank, “Oww! I thought you said they were out!”

“Welp! I guess Luna recovered faster than I thought.” Scootaloo replied as Luna sped past.

“That’s it! FIRE!” Twilight yelled adorably.

Scootaloo pulled her tail causing her to shoot Luna with repeated blasts of magic. Luna spun around to shoot an oily burst of magic when a blast hit her in the face, redirecting the spell to Luna who yelled, “I’m blind! Blind! Oh noeeezzz!”

***

“So how do we get out?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Oh that’s simple, why do you want to get out?”

“Because. We’re supposed to be racing.”

“But what if Discord’s still out there? I don’t want to deal with that, and it takes time to build up another charge of frosting sweat.”

“Come on! It’ll be alright. Let’s go!” Apple Bloom whined.

“Fine, but if Discord’s still out there, we’re going back to hiding. Hopefully we can sneak around him and let his focus being on the others. “

“Exactly!”

So with a game plan, Celestia broke her shield in time to see Luna and Sweetie get doused with Luna’s Oil Slick attack. Taking aim, she shoot Luna repeatedly with cupcakes till Luna fell.

“Now let’s get Twilight,” she said before taking a bite out of her halo of cupcakes.