//------------------------------// // A Warrior Meet? In Ponyville? // Story: Ponyville's First Warrior Meet // by Wise Cracker //------------------------------// The carriage came rumbling into Ponyville along the town's main street. “Merci beaucoup, Monsieur,” a mare said as she exited. While the town of Ponyville was used to strange dealings and strange ponies, this new arrival still managed to catch the eyes of those around her. Pearly white coat, a long pink mane and tail, both adorned with a white stripe, she was a sight to behold. Her long horn and slender build made her look like one of Celestia’s relatives, or at the very least a supermodel. Which was just as well, because she really was a supermodel, among other things. But the eyes on her quickly moved elsewhere, for her companion was an even stranger sight altogether. While she paid the fare to the pony pulling the carriage, the boy she was with hopped out and used his magic to collect his things. He, or at least ponies assumed it was a he, was fully covered, horn to hooves, in a most outlandish armour. He had plates, tubular bracers, on his arms and legs, as well as a chest guard in Royal Guard style, metal shoulder pads, and he wore a mask-like helmet with a triple horn design: two on the sides pointed back, one pointed forward. Underneath the metal, he wore what looked like normal black fabric underneath with red stitches throughout, no doubt some foreign design that inspired terror into whatever it was ponies had to worry about in other countries. The black fabric looked standard, at least until one inspected it more closely and realised that the cloth was another form of armour. Judging by how that swelled, he was likely wearing padding underneath. He must have been swelteringly hot on a sunny day like this, but if he was, nothing was showing in his steady, confident gait. On his back, he had a plain backpack that looked like it was what he usually carried his schoolbooks in, but unlike most schoolbags, the reputation of Equestrian public schools notwithstanding, this one had weapons sticking out, mostly the ends of sticks and wooden swords. It looked packed, but he had the good sense to keep it steady on his back using his metal-covered wings. As the carriage took off again, Fleur de Lis looked around and adjusted her saddlebags. The ponies of Ponyville quickly cast their glances elsewhere and went about their daily business. Fleur couldn’t blame them for staring just a moment. After all, it’s not every day one sees a small child with both a horn and wings, certainly not one in full Eastern Unicorn armour. “Nothing like a little shopping spree to calm the mind. Now then, things should be getting started soon,” Fleur de Lis said. “What was it you said again? Sugarcube Corner?” The boy in the alicorn armour nodded. Fleur looked around. “Ah, right, there, the one with the cupcake roof, of course.” With that, she trotted towards the establishment with her young companion in tow. After poking her head in, it didn’t take long to find the ponies she was looking for. “There we are. Hello, darlings.” Derpy looked up and giggled. “Heya, Fleur. What’s up?” “Oh, you know, the usual, dear.” Fleur sat down at their table, the boy followed suit. “Looking pretty, acting tough, acting pretty, looking tough. Comme d’hab.” “And who’s this? I didn’t know you had students,” Derpy said. “Normally I don’t, but, as they say, can’t let perfectly good talent go to waste, can you?” Fleur smiled at the boy as he set his bag down. The armoured colt didn’t say a word. He sat in perfect and polite silence, showing off his chest plate in the process. “Hello? Is there a little boy under there or did you just animate the costume, Fleur?” Derpy joked. She tried to tap his helmet, but he inched his head away just enough to let her know he was, indeed, not a hollow costume. “Umm, hello.” “Oh, where are my manners?” Fleur chuckled. “Derpy Hooves, this is Hammer. Not his real name, obviously, but he performed at the last meet in Manehattan and the nickname stuck. Hammer, you know Derpy Hooves, also known as the Iron Maiden, right?” “I’ve seen her around, yes,” the boy replied. Fleur smiled and nodded. “She’s not in any official school, but she is recognised by the Warrior Society as a black belt of second degree.” “Uhuh. You’re strong, but you’re not allowed to teach,” the boy concluded. “Yup and nope. I never got into it that much, but I still do it for fun. And the demos are a good way to make new friends.” “Indeed. She is self-taught, and you might not know this, but she is infamous for striking with her hips. You don’t want to get on her bad side,” Fleur said. “Which is her backside.” “Can I get you anything?” Missus Cake asked. “Ah, I’ll have the teacake plate, thank you,” Fleur replied. “He will have the chocolate-dipped lemon slices.” The boy nodded eagerly, furling and unfurling his armoured wings against the suit. It was late to be having breakfast, but tea and a snack would surely hit the spot. “I’ll have a strawberry milkshake and two large cupcakes, please. One banana, one pineapple,” Derpy’s friend, who clearly had skipped breakfast, said. “Right away.” Missus Cake turned and left with her note in hoof. Fleur smiled and gestured to Derpy’s companion. “And this mare, you should know as well. This is the personal student of the Ashen Blizzard, and his designated successor. She’s one of only four ponies who are allowed to administer the Spear Test, and within the Nine Dragons style of combat, she’s ranked as a fifth degree black belt. So she is allowed to teach, technically, but, as you know, the Nine Dragons style is mostly self-taught.” The boy nodded again. This one was a bright white unicorn with a long, flowing red mane that had a light purple streak in it, same as her tail. Her cutie mark was a crescent moon that seemed to smile at the world, with three stars beneath it. Her tail had a blue bow tie on it, and the way she sipped her tea and kept looking around as if she was ill at ease might have fooled anyone into thinking she was a timid little thing, a dime a dozen in the high-pressure environment of magical academia. Her eyes gave her away, though. Deep, penetrating, purple eyes with the focus of a grandmaster behind them. The mare smiled at Fleur. “It’s good to see you again, Fleur.” Fleur smiled right back. “You too, Moongazer. How’s the family?” “Oh, you know, half my kin is grieving over a pony buried in her books, the other half is waiting for me to get buried. The usual. Interesting student you have there, by the way. You say he was at the Manehattan Meet?” Hammer shuffled nervously in his seat. “Umm, yes, I was.” “Shame I missed that, then. Fleur has kept you away from prying eyes since, I presume?” “Umm, a little.” “I only ask because, well, a boy like you, I would have heard of.” She gestured to his triple-horn design helmet and his wings. “But I can’t say that I have. You’ve improved since then, I hope?” The boy nodded. “Out of sight from potential rivals?” The boy gulped, and nodded again. “I’m sure there’s a good reason for it, then. Whatever the case, you, my dear boy, are in for a real treat if you’ve never dealt with the Nine Dragon school before. I have to ask, why are you in armour now, though, especially on such a hot day?” She tilted her head. “You’re not fully covered in metal, but I can see you are covered completely in padding, aside from your face. Eastern Unicorn style cloth armour, too, if I’m not mistaken?” “Yes, Ma’am. Layered fibre, classical style; not that thick, but very effective.” Moongazer smirked. “Do you put that on yourself, or does she need to assist you?” “I put it on myself, Ma’am,” he said. That almost got a chuckle out her. “Hmm, quite the prodigy if you can manage that at your age. Why, though? Fleur is a Master at Arms, they fight without armour.” “He insisted,” Fleur replied. “He’s just a little self-conscious, is all. Plus, it’s good to train with weighted clothing. Get used to high temperatures and all that, learn how to cast refreshment spells.” Moongazer nodded. “Ah, of course. So I guess you’ll be making the rounds this week then, eh, Hammer?” Hammer sat quietly. Fleur nudged him. “Umm, yes, Ma’am. You know, Master at Arms duties, saying ‘hi’ to all the other masters. I’m not even a real Duellist yet, but, you know, starting early and all. And the heat doesn’t bother me because of my magic, not any more. I can circulate it through my suit just fine.” The mare nodded. “I should hope so. It’s good practice, then.” Derpy smiled. “Any schools you think you wanna challenge?” “Umm, just one, actually, now that you mention it.” He looked to Moongazer then. “Yours.” Rarity furrowed her brow at the sight of Rainbow Dash and her father. “So you’re telling me your father is one of the highest ranked warriors in Equestria?” “Oh, no, no, darlin’, ya got it wrong,” Hue replied. “I’m not one of the highest ranked warriors, I am the highest ranked ninja and warrior.” “I see. And what does that entail again, exactly?” Rainbow sighed. “Well, he’s the guy the Princesses fight for practice, for one thing. He’s also the guy who heads out of Equestria to talk to the dragons if anything’s happening.” “Because you’re so diplomatic, I take it?” Rarity asked. “No, because the dragons are scared of him,” Rainbow replied. Twilight squinted, confused. “Your dad’s a ninja grandmaster?” Rainbow nodded. “Yup.” “You’re the daughter of a ninja grandmaster?” Again, Rainbow nodded. “Yup.” “Correct me if I’m wrong, Rainbow, but aren’t you supposed to be stealthy, then?” Rainbow Dash jumped up. “Oh, that reminds me, is Uncle Blaze with you?” “Nah, he’s still training the recruits for the Equestria Games, you know how he gets. And to answer your question, Twilight Sparkle, I never forced my little girl to be like me. She liked the high-flyin’ lifestyle more than she likes ninja fightin’. Not that she can’t have that cake and eat it, mind you.” He gave her another noogie, prompting the mare to elbow him in the ribcage. “She doesn’t do it often, but she can be as stealthy as any ninja if she really wants to be. She’s got her belts and everything.” “Goodness, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said, “I never pegged you for a ninja.” “Clearly you don’t grasp the basic concept of ninja,” Hue replied. “Wait, are you in the military, then?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “If you’re a sparring partner for the Princesses, where does that leave you with the Royal Guard?” “Oh, I’m on good terms with most of’em, but the Warrior Society isn’t strictly tied to the Royal Guard, not when it comes to makin’ decisions. We’re more about teaching defence to civilians; responsibility, safe conduct, gym stuff, that sort of thing. A lot of talent we pick up on ends up in the Royal Guard, and a lot of talent that decides the Royal Guard ain’t for them ends up joining our society on top of their day jobs. But we’re not the military, strictly speaking.” “Except you, dad,” Dash corrected. “You’re totally military. Just not officially.” “Wouldn’t be much of a ninja if it was.” Pinkie Pie tried to wrap her head around it. “So, wait, if your dad is some big shot ninja, what’s your mom like, then?” “Her mother is scary,” said the stallion whose dragon name loosely translated into ‘Deceptively Small Thing Not Worth Antagonising.’ “I beg your pardon?” Rarity asked. “My dear Snow Chaser is what most ponies would refer to as a ‘child of the flowers’.” The girls shared a quizzical glance with each other. “What I mean by that is: she is a, err, firm proponent of the ways of peace and harmony.” Twilight squinted. “Huh?” “My mom’s a hippie,” Rainbow Dash said. Hue cleared his throat. “That’s the, ah, more common way of putting it, yes.” “I see. And does she fight for a living, too, then?” Rarity asked. “No, actually she’s a tutor at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. She specialises in teachin’ noobies to control magic bursts. More of a counsellor, I suppose.” Fluttershy thought for a moment. “I think I may have met her, then. When I went to school in Canterlot, I had a few lessons from a Snow Chaser.” “Really?” Rainbow Dash asked. “What about?” “Umm, how to handle troubled children, how to use your voice. I got my certificate from her, but I’ve never used it.” “Yeah, that was probably her,” Hue said. “Now that she’s getting closer to retirement, she’s started doing lectures, too. So you’re a social worker, Fluttershy?” Fluttershy looked away and blushed. “Umm, certified child counselor, yes. But I’m the wildlife manager for Ponyville, officially. I mostly deal with small animals.” “I can see where those skillsets would overlap, then,” Hue replied with a grin. “Really?” Twilight asked. “Huh. And her name’s Snow Chaser? I think she may have taught me a few times, when I was little.” Rainbow Dash pondered that for a moment. “Wait, were you the little girl that flooded the dorm rooms, or the one that animated the army of zombie brooms?” Twilight froze and quickly looked for a different topic, not wanting anyone to know that those two children were, in fact, one and the same. “Never mind that. Does your mom know you and your dad fight like this?” Twilight asked with a nervous smile. To be fair, this was a topic she was quite familiar with, seeing as part of her family was in the Royal Guard. Her father and brother used to love playing the old ‘beam-o-war’ game, until the third restraining order, that is. Hurricane Hue scoffed. “Know? My dear Twilight Sparkle, in my house we follow the rules of Avadhuta.” “Haveahoota?” Applejack asked. Twilight shook her head. “It’s a peace philosophy that’s not strictly peaceful. They believe the best way of changing something wrong is by setting a good, but shocking example, usually something bizarre. It’s also notorious for encouraging leaps of logic.” “You know your stuff, Miss Twilight. I take it you know the common name of our belief, then, too?” “I was told it’s more of a nickname, but, yes. Crazy Zen.” “The craziest,” Rainbow remarked. “So fighting like that is normal in your home?” Applejack asked. “Only when it’s been a while. After all, I taught this little firecracker how to stand up for herself, gotta be sure she ain’t forgettin’.” Hue gave Rainbow a pat on the neck. “My wife doesn’t enjoy fighting, but she’s good at it. And after that little run-in with a manticore, while she was expecting little Rainbow here, no less, she tries to avoid any potentially traumatic events.” “Oh,” Fluttershy said. “Oh, goodness, I can imagine. Manticore attacks can be scary. Especially when you’re carrying a baby.” “Tell me about it,” Hue replied. “That poor manticore needed five months of physical therapy once Snow Chaser was done with it.” Silence fell over the herd of mares. “She crushed one of its claws in between her leg and her belly,” Rainbow Dash explained. “So yeah, I’ve always been pretty close to danger, even before I was born.” “Ninja babies are lethal when they’re in the womb,” Hue said. “Eheh,” Applejack said. “So y’all are fine with your own daughter gettin’ so violent against her own kin?” “Fine with it?” Hue replied. “I’d be worried if she didn’t. She’s been tryin’ to kill me since the day she was born! Little facehugger would have gotten me on her first try if the doctors hadn’t pried her off my face.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “We don’t fight that hard all the time, you guys. My dad’s a stunt pony; he’s tough. Just like I am. I know what he can take, and he knows what I can’t take.” Rarity let that sink in. In her experience, theatre ponies did tend to display their prowess at every opportunity, even when it wasn’t called for. Stunt ponies, doubly so. “I suppose that explains that, but, ah, what brings you to Ponyville, then, Mister Hurricane?” Rarity asked. “Oh, please, call me Ash. Only my wife calls me ‘Mister Hurricane.’” He smirked. Rainbow winced. “Eww, dad. But what are you doing here, anyway? You’re not just trying to find an excuse to check up on me, are you?” “Fear not, my colourful carpet-muncher, your dear dad is here strictly for business.” Rarity’s ears twitched ever so slightly and in an ever so polite fashion. “Carpet-muncher, darling?” Rainbow Dash sighed. “You spill cider on the rug one time…” “It’s just the Warrior Meet, Dashie. But I’m sure you guessed that much already,” Hue said. Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah, I thought so. But didn’t you have one in Manehattan a few months ago?” “We did, but the Feather Cloaks couldn’t make it because of a competition in griphon lands, and I couldn’t make it because some silly ponies followed the dragon migration and caused a ruckus with some of their youngins. The old scalies needed a talkin’ to, and apparently somepony at the Meet asked if they could be tested by me, and they missed me, as most ponies tend to do. They were sorely disappointed, I heard.” Rainbow nearly did a double take. “Really? Somepony wants to measure up against the Nine Dragon style? After what happened last time? Who?” “Some kid, is what I heard. And then you’ve got the Feather Cloaks…” Hue made a sound somewhere in between a groan and a growl. “Still doing their old routine?” Hue sighed. “I tell ya, Rainbow, somepony’s gonna get hurt doin’ that. Too cocky for their own good. Oh, and that’s not even mentioning the new record holder: one of their rookies took the Spear Test a couple months ago, can you believe that? Nine years old, tiny little thing, three swings.” Rainbow Dash winced. “Really? Anypony I know?” “Maybe. I didn’t ask for details, I just swung the dang spear. I think you might, though; it’s a kid from around these parts, if I recall correctly.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders were busy unloading the new supplies for their clubhouse, with the help of their friendly classmates. “Wait, let me help you with that chest, Rumble.” Apple Bloom went over to the colt and helped him place the trunk where it needed to be. “I still don’t get why you won’t invite your friend over, Scootaloo. I mean, if that Wimpy kid is as strong as you said he was…” Scootaloo groaned as she hovered near the windows to clean them. “I already told you, his name’s not Wimpy.” Rumble nodded. “She’s right. His name is Doldrum Whimper. And he is pretty strong.” He groaned as he helped the carry the trunk and gently put it down. “Then why not invite him over for this Warrior Meet thingie? You did say he likes martial arts, after all. It’d be perfect!” Apple Bloom said. Rumble looked away, and so did Scootaloo. “Is there somethin’ y’all ain’t telling us?” “It’s nothing,” Scootaloo lied. “I just don’t think a Warrior Meet would be a good time for it, that’s all.” “Is it because he has a funny name?” Sweetie Belle asked. Rumble rolled his eyes and walked out before the argument could break loose. Scootaloo growled. “Doldrum Whimper is not a funny name! It’s an old name, and it’s tradition. It means ‘Wind of Hope’.” “Uhuh. And a whimper is also a sound animals make they’re scared or give up. Plus, Doldrum’s not a word anyhow,” Apple Bloom argued. “You say you’re in the Doldrums, not a Doldrum.” “Why are you making such a big deal about Doldrum Whimper’s name?” Scootaloo asked. “It is not that weird.” Sweetie Belle looked beside her and took hold of a pile of cloth to store for future theatre productions. “Thanks, Featherweight. Yes, Scootaloo, ‘Doldrum Whimper’ is a weird name. It’s a really weird name and I don’t understand why anypony would name their son that.” Apple Bloom nodded in agreement. “Exactly.” “So, what, you think Whimper’s parents made a mistake calling him that?” Apple Bloom snickered. “Sure am. Pony names aren’t supposed to be stuff you can be made fun of for. They should be normal names, names that demand respect. Nopony in the Apple family has weird names.” “Where do you want the lamp?” a filly asked. “Oh, I’ll get that. Thanks, Dinky Do,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Uhuh,” Scootaloo said. “So if I did bring Whimper over, the first thing you’d do is make fun of his name?” “Umm, I wouldn’t make fun of it, no, but I’d certainly remark on it. It is a remarkable name, after all. And it’s not like we get a lot of hilarious names like that in Ponyville, either,” Apple Bloom said. “Where do you want this lampshade?” “Right there on the lamp there is fine, Lickety Split,” Apple Bloom replied. “And you can tell Featherweight and Pipsqueak to just leave the rest on the cart. We can take it from here.” Scootaloo shot a glare at Apple Bloom that almost nailed her to the floor. “What?” “Nothing, Apple Bloom. Nothing at all.” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “So you’re not plannin’ to bring him along for this fighting thing, then?” “I don’t think it’s a good idea, okay? Whimper’s kinda… well, different, when it comes to martial arts. Especially now.” “Well, I think it’s a great idea,” Sweetie Belle said. “At the very least, we should find a teacher to teach us some moves. We might even get a cutie mark in it.” Apple Bloom looked towards Scootaloo. “What do you think?” Scootaloo sighed and looked out of the window. “I think if you don’t go get the cider you promised, we’re gonna have an angry mob on our hooves.”