//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Learning // Story: Humphrey Dinklehuegen and the Talking Horses // by Unwhole Hole //------------------------------// "Ack!" cried Humph. "My finger! I've gotten my finger stuck in my nose!" There was a pause, followed by a much more nasal and more panicked response: "No! Now both are stuck! Fluttershy, help!" Sweetie Belle sighed, and then reached out with her magic, closing the door to one of Humph's spare rooms to block out the annoying sounds of him being, in total, an idiot. She could still hear him complaining, but the sound of the heavy rain on his poorly thatched house mostly drowned him out. Sweetie Belle turned her attention back to the several open books laid out in front of her. Sweetie Belle was not sure why, but Humph had a surprising number of varied and heavily used texts. They seemed to be, apparently, textbooks, with the majority of them being on an incredibly basic level. These books were greatly unlike the magic she was used to. She had of course seen magical books before, but the vast majority of them were as thick and dry as Rarity's exorbitantly well hidden dandruff. They were the sort of things that Twilight had memorized by heart and Starlight understood intuitively. Human magic, though, was profoundly more practical. Although Humph had books on theory- -that were heavily annotated and doodled with rude drawings- -almost everything he had read like instruction manuals. The idea of simply speaking the name of a spell was completely novel to Sweetie Belle, but proved profoundly effective. She looked at one of the books, then lifted her head and looked around the room, eventually setting her sights on a damp cardboard box on the far side of the room. "Defindo," she said, charging her horn at it. The box immediately split neatly in half. From somewhere else in the building, Humph called out. "Did somebody just touch my box?" "And..." said Sweetie Belle, reading a different portion of a different book. "Reparo!" The box ignited with energy and the clean cut within it sealed shut. There was no skill or thought involved; Sweetie Belle just had to say the right words. "Neat," said Sweetie Belle. She looked up the next spell. "Hmm...confringi- -" She was interrupted by Trixie opening the door. Like always, Trixie looked unhappy. "What are you doing in here?" she said, her eyes narrowing on the various books surrounding Sweetie Belle. "Playing with your horn, maybe?" "Actually, yes," said Sweetie Belle. "If you must know, I'm learning. Something you, clearly, haven't spent much time doing." "Oh, what? Reading some musty old books? Or are you even old enough to read?" "I am. Are you?" "The Great and Powerful Trixie? Of course! I've delved so deep into the mystical arts, you're tiny filly brain can scarcely understand the extent of Trixie's power!" Trixie levitated a book and held it in front of her. She frowned, and then turned it over. "Um...is this even in Equestrian?" "Uh, no. That one's in Aramaic. You need to cast a translation spell to read it." "Oh. Sure." Trixie's horn brightened, and a green plume of sparks burst form it- -which Sweetie Belle already knew was not at all what a translation spell looked like." "Ah, yes," said Trixie. "I see. Interesting." "Okay then," said Sweetie Belle, deciding to call her bluff. "How about you show me what you can do?" "What I can do? Oh, the Great and Powerful Trixie can- -" "Duplicate that book." Trixie's eyes widened, and she blinked. "Excuse Trixie?" "Duplicate it. It's a simple charm. Gemino. Just point your horn at it and say it. It should make two. Or more, if you really are 'Great and Powerful'." “Oh. Fine,” said Trixie. She set the book on the ground and focused her horn on it. “Gemino!” she said. Her horn sparked and flashed, and the room exploded with an explosion of fireworks. Sweetie Belle cast a shield spell around herself, but it hardly helped with the sound. When the explosion eventually concluded, the book remained where it was, singed but unduplicated. “You tricked me!” said Trixie. “That’s not a real spell!” “Gemino,” said Sweetie Belle. Trixie was immediately flattened by hundreds of exact clones of her hat. For a moment, the pile of hats was still. Then Trixie burst out, taking a deep breath and coughing out a tiny hat. “See?” said Sweetie Belle. “Easy. Maybe if you actually read the books instead of, what is you actually do with them? Eat them?” Sweetie Belle was promptly knocked back as a book was thrown into her face. “Hey!” she cried. “Why do you keep doing that?” snapped Trixie, suddenly angrily. “Do what- -you were the one who threw a book at me!” “Because you deserved it!” “No I didn’t! I didn’t do anything- -” “Do you think I’m not trying? That I haven’t tried? ‘Oh, yes. That Trixie, she can’t use REAL magic, she must be a lazy slacker who never even applies herself. She certainly doesn’t spent ten hours a day practicing her spells and routines, working her horn to the bone. All she can do is make sparks and lights!’” Sweetie Belle gaped. “But- -” “See, I tolerated you at the show. When you tried to upstage me and humiliate me- -at my own show! I took that in stride, trying to be nice. But now, every chance you get, you make fun of me. Why? Because I’m not as able to do magic as you?” “But you could be,” said Sweetie Belle, protesting. “If you just- -” “What, practiced more? I’ve been practicing for TWENTY YEARS. Even with Starlight’s lessons, I. Just. CAN’T. And somehow you’re actually good at it- -do you know what that’s like for me? Look at you! Your cutie mark is a musical note! You’re a SINGER!” Trixie flipped her cape over her side and exposed her rump. “Look at mine! Magic wand! I have a MAGIC cutie mark, and I can barely magic the cockroaches out of the cheap cart I can barely afford!” “I didn’t realize. I didn’t know.” “Didn’t know. Didn’t know? How could you not know what you were doing? That’s all ponies ever do. Make fun of me, humiliate me. I should be used to it…but I was finially starting to get my life together. I had a friend, I had fans, and now…” Trixie was starting to sob. “Now I’m stuck here, and I’m never going to get back!” Trixie wiped her face with one of her hooves and started to turn away, but Sweetie Belle stood up. “Wait,” she said. “If you’re just going to laugh at me for crying- -” “No,” said Sweetie Belle. “I…” She sighed. After all the years of being berated every day by various bullies for not having her cutie mark, she wondered how she could not have realized what she was doing. “I was being really hurtful to you, and I’m sorry. Actually…” She suddenly started to feel horrible, “I’ve been a huge jerk. I mean, if a pony had interrupted me at a recital like I did to you at your show? I mean…” She hung her head. “I’m sorry, Trixie.” “Well,” said Trixie, at least you know. “But I probably should have told you sooner. It’s sometimes hard for me to admit that I’m actually weak at magic.” “Maybe I can help?” said Sweetie Belle. She pushed at a book with her hoof. “These human spells are really, really easy to do for a unicorn. Gemino’s not actually easy at all. Maybe we can practice together?” Trixie looked suspicious for a moment, but a small smile crossed her face. “If you think you can keep up, sure.” Across the house- -which was not extremely far, seeing as it was a rather small house- -Fluttershy leaned over a system of artifacts and components surrounding Sweetie Belle’s necklace. “Did you hear an explosion?” she asked. Humph leaned forward from his chair. “Yeah,” he said, listening to the wicker creak dangerously. “That happens a lot around here. I usually just ignore it.” Fluttershy seemed to nervously acknowledge that loud noises were, apparently, commonplace in this world. She pointed at one of the many boxes that they had taken back from Knocturn Alley. “I need the opal now.” “Sure,” said Humph, snapping a latex glove onto one hand. He reached into the tissue paper and removed a gaudy Victorian necklace with a gleaming opal in the center. “One super-cursed necklace.” “Thank you,” said Fluttershy, taking the necklace in a hoof. She turned it over and then clamped her teeth around the central stone, pulling it free of its casing and inserting it into the small but magically complicated device she was building. “Rarity would be so angry if she saw me doing this.” “Don’t know who that is, but don’t worry. There’s a pretty easy spell that turns charcoal into diamonds. Diamonds or pain, generally. I’ll just make a few and put them in there, then sell it back at a profit.” “What about the curse?” “It was in the opal. See, watch.” Humph removed his glove and tapped the necklace. His entire body convulsed and spasmed as he jerked away. “NOPE. Still in there. Ow. My insides. I think my liver is where my duodenum used to be!” “Oh my, do you need to go to a doctor?” “No way, I don’t have insurance. Besides, I get worse curses when I fall asleep on my wand. No really, don’t do that.” He leaned over Fluttershy’s pony shoulder. The device she was building consisted of, essentially, a cubic container around the red cubic gemstone aggregate within. It required some real heavy-duty ingredients and parts, though. “Is that thing actually going to be strong enough to punch a hole through to another reality.” “No, of course not. You were listening to your friend, I’m sure. Even if I did have something with that power, there would be no way to know where we were going. Sweetie Belle and Trixie would not survive.” “So…what is it, then?” “When an adorable wolf puppy is separated from his pack, he howls for his family. This works on a similar principle.” “Ah,” said Humph. “I have no idea what that means.” “You’re a powerful wizard, aren’t you? What did those wizards say? You resurrected an owl?” “Well, sort of. Want to see?” Fluttershy turned away from her work with the most stern and serious of expressions on her face. “I’ve never wanted to see anything more in my entire life. Except breezies in tiny dresses with tiny hats. Because that would be frigging adorable.” Humph smiled and stood up. He reached over a dusty shelf of various rusty artifacts, sending a small herd of homunculi fleeing in terror as he disturbed their territory. He removed a shoebox from the top shelf. “This is great,” he said, setting the box on the table and popping it open. “Fluttersy, meet Awl.” Several flies flew out of the box, and Fluttershy covered her nose against the strong odor. She looked in to see a small and grimy gray owl. His feathers were unpreened and greasy, and his beak was slightly open with his tougue lolling out. Both of his misty yellow eyes were facing different directions. “Um…is it dead?” asked Fluttersy. “WHO,” responded Awl, suddenly shaking himself back awake. He rose, shaking off dandruff, and stepped to the edge of the box. Though he spread his wings to fly, he promptly fell forward flat on his face. “WHO,” he said, seemingly unaware both that he was not flying and that he was long dead. “Um…” “I know, right?” said Humph. “He’s great. Never needs to eat or anything. An Inferi owl.” “Named Awl?” “Awl is a good name for an owl. All our owls should be named Awl for all I know.” “I can’t argue with that logic,” said Fluttershy, poking at the owl. It hooted again, and then beat its wings extremely fast until it reached the edge of the desk and fell off. Humph reached down and grabbed it, shoving it into his pocket. “And you brought it back to life?” “Eh…I kind of cheated.” “Cheated?” Humph nodded. “I used magic yeast. It’s great for necromancy. It helps the dead rise.” “So…you’re not really much of a wizard? Oh, sorry. That sounds insulting. I didn’t mean- -” “No, it’s true. I’m a bit of a dullard. I didn’t even get into Hogwarts.” “Hogwarts? That’s the school, right?” “Yup. The only wizarding school in the entire United Kingdom. That’s one school for an entire country. I mean, do the math. Hogwarts has four houses, and if each year has 100 students in each, that means there’s only 400 per year.” He laughed. “If that’s how many wizards are alive in one year, our population would be, what, 40K, tops? And I’d really like to think we didn’t fight two wars over ruling the a population the size of Perth. The Scottish one, not the Australian one.” “I see. So it’s very selective, then.” “Most definitely. There’s only three ways you get into Hogwarts: being a pureblood, gifted, or rich. Or I guess you can cheat like Sunflower did. I mean, I guess most wizards are home-schooled. A few go to private schools. Even the Brotherhood takes some students.” “So the Brotherhood trained you.” “Oh, no. I went to the WandMart, got a wand for seventy rubles, and just sort of…well, guessed.” Humph shrugged. “That’s what most of us do.” “Well, what counts is that you’re trying,” said Fluttershy, assembling what she was building into a cubic puzzle box. “Is it done?” said Humph. “Oh no. Far from it. I still need to tinker with it. It could take a while. How long does your species live for?” “Um…nine hundred. Five thousand tops.” “Ah. You might want to consider having children.” They suddenly fell silent, staring at each other. That was when they heard the sound of footsteps outside. “What…what was that?” whispered Fluttershy, suddenly shaking and looking terrified, holding the puzzsle box to her chest. “I don’t know,” said Humph, also shaking. “That’s not a haggis.” He stood up and leaned through the door, looking down the dark hallway. For a moment, he thought that it could be Sweetie Belle or Trixie, but they were both down the hall in a room that had used to be a bathroom until Humph had sold the toilet. The footsteps suddenly continued. Wet and squishing, barely aduable through the rain. Even as quiet as they were, though, Humph could hear them circling the house. Many, many sets. Fluttershy grabbed his leg, and he wished he had a giant leg to grab. He was terrified. “Get out your wand,” she whispered. “Right,” said Humph, drawing his wand and pointing it into the darkness. “Um…doesn’t it go the other way?” “Oh,” said Humph, realizing that she was right. He turned it around and started to walk through the hallway. Fluttershy, not wanting to be alone, squeaked and followed him. “Maybe it’s just an animal,” she said, her voice quaking. “Some adorable, lost animal who wants to come in from the rain.” “Yeah, I’m sure that’s it,” said Humph. “Just a…large number of very, very heavy, bipedal animals. Lurking around my house…in a thunderstorm…yeah…” Through a window, Humph suddenly saw a figure move quickly behind the dirty glass. He almost fainted, and was glad he was wearing magic trousers. He had not seen it closely, but it was most definitely NOT an animal. Then, suddenly, with a flash of lightning, the back door swung open. Through the surge of light, Humph could see innumerable deformed humanoid figures standing beyond the door, silhouetted by the flash behind them. He screamed, and Fluttershy screamed. They both hugged each other tightly, and Humph pointed his wand at them. In his confusion and absolute terror, he performed the only spell he could think of. A leek flew out of the end of his wand and struck the nearest of the figures. “What is it?! What’s wrong?!” cried Sweetie Belle, bounding into the room, her horn bringing more consistent light to the darkness. When the figures were lit, Fluttershy fainted instantly. Sweetie Belle shrieked, and Trixie, who had come running behind her, looked as though she were about to be sick. Humph, however, laughed at how stupid he had been. “Oh!” he said, dropping Fluttershy like a sack of limp potatoes. “Oh, of course!” “WHAT ARE THEY!” cried Sweetie Belle, her voice almost beyond Humph’s range of hearing. “Mandrakes,” said Humph. The warty, fat, dirty roots wandered through his door. They were roughly in the same size and shape of men, but hairless, lumpy, and asymmetrical with leaves growing out of their heads. “Their garden soil doesn’t drain well. When it rains a lot, they like to come inside.” Without speaking, the mandrakes wandered over to Humph’s couch and began to sit down. Humph followed them, but instead of going to the couch went to the old television across from it. He waved his wand and flicked it against the battered fake-wood surface, and the cathode-ray tube hummed to life. At first, there was just static, and the mandrakes began to grumble. “Hold your horseradishes,” he said, punching the television repeatedly in the side. “Almost- -got it- -stupid- -tubes- -there!” The TV resolved on a blurry black and white image of several figures running around a field chasing a white and black checkered ball. “What is that?” said Trixie. “It looks super boring.” “Football,” said Humph. “They really like England for some reason. Heaven only knows why. Oh, and it looks like the game is almost over too.” The root men did not seem to care, and congregated around the television, watching intently. “Eew…they tracked mud. Now I need to find a mop. Or…” He pushed Fluttershy with his foot toward the mess. Just as she was starting to absorb moisture, every window and door in the house suddenly burst open and armored, cloaked wizards rushed in. In at least one case, one appeared to be thrown through a window with enough force to injure himself. The others, though, remained relatively competent, immediately pointing their wants at Humph. “Holy butt nuggets, it’s the 5-0!” cried Humph, putting both hands in the air. “It wasn’t me, the tax form got lost in the mail! For the past eight years straight!” “Wh…what?” said Fluttershy, waking up groggily. “Why am I wet?” She looked up at the wizards surrounding her. “Oh…I missed something, didn’t I?” One of the wizards stepped forward. He actually looked pretty epic, with a long wizardly coat but also armor that looked as though it might have enchantments that would actually be useful for blocking some of the effects of spells. He even had a muggle riot mask to protect his face. In other words, armor that was actually potentially effective for combat- -not swirling, loose robes and masks that left the user’s eyes completely open to blinding spells. “Give us the unicorns,” he said, reaching toward Sweetie Belle. Humph, though, was not paying attention to the wizards. His eyes had instead been attracted toward the television in the corner. The mandrakes had apparently not noticed the intrusion. They were leaning forward at the edge of their seats, their potato-like eyes opened as wide as they could as they stared in awe as a skinny and lone forward neared the goal. Humph had never been able to get anything except the Venezuelan broadcast, so the language was in Spanish, but he could tell what was about to happen. He saw the forward fake, and the goalie go the wrong way. “EARS! COVER! NOW!” he cried just as the ball went into the net. About a half mile away, Sunflower had just settled down from a hard day of leatherworking. She was sitting in front of her fire with a glass of expensive wine and a Harry Potter biography, reading, as was her custom. She was calm and relatively happy, when suddenly every window in her house cracked and her wine glass shattered from the resulting cheering. She looked down at the glass, and then growled in anger. “HUMPH!” In a different direction, a man standing up to his armpits in a deep mud puddle suddenly turned toward Humph’s house. “Ivan hears a noise…” he said to himself- -or to the aliens that lived in his pockets, as they tended to listen to his thoughts. He took a long swig from a now completely shattered glass bottle as he began to pull himself out of the mud and make his way toward the origin of the sound. Meanwhile, Humph and three ponies sprinted out of his backdoor and into the slowing rain. “You’ll never take my money alive!” cried Humph at who he was assuming was a Ministry Tax squad. “Reucio porto!” cried Sweetie Belle, pointing her horn at the back door. It immediately puckered closed, trapping a few of the wizards who had not been mandrake-paralyzed inside. They waved their wands, blasting various colored spells in all direction, but were quickly overtaken as the mandrakes collapsed into hooliganism. They had not escaped, though, as a number of wizards suddenly appeared out from the woods. A beam of red light shot past Humph, but he slipped in the mud and it barely missed. He lifted his wand and pointed it at the nearest attacker. “Reducio skullis!” he shouted. A beam of violet light shot from his wand and struck the wizard in the face. His head immediately reduced in size, his protective mask falling off as he began to run around, flailing his arms. “My head! I have a tiny head!” he screamed in a ridiculous, high-pitched voice. “Get back in the fight, you git!” ordered another. “He’ll never be able to hit it now!” While that wizard was distracted, Humph rotated and targeted him. “Dysfabricus!” There was a puff of smoke, and the wizard’s clothing vanished completely, leaving him completely nude in the cold British rain. He squealed like a stuck pig and covered himself, dropping his wand and trying to duck behind a tree. “Alarte Ascendere!” screamed another wizard. “Oop!” said Humph, ducking. The spell missed him and struck Fluttershy instead, sending her screaming and crying into the air. “Help!” she wailed. “Wings, Fluttershy, wings!” called Sweetie Belle. Fluttershy spread her wings and hovered. “Oh,” she said. “Sweetie Belle, do something!” cried Trixie, jumping out of the way as a wizard leapt forward. “Uh- -um- -uh- -Ronijami Diosis!” An enormous ultra-bright rainbow shot out of Sweetie Belle’s horn, knocking several wizards back as it struck them and sent them flying. Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, was thrown backward with tremendous force and knocked into Trixie and Humph. Humph, now covered in ponies, lifted his wand through the mass of slightly damp unicorn and pointed his wand at a nearby wizard. A white beam of light shot out, striking him in the chest. He stepped back, but then felt his chest and realized nothing was wrong. “Ha!” he said. “Misfire!” “Says you,” said Humph, grinning. “I just gave you magical scabies!” “You- -oh, you’re gonna get it Deatheater- -” He raised his wand, but as he did a corona of blue light formed around it and Trixie plucked it from his hand. “Ack!” he cried. “I am disarmed! Mercy! MERCY!” Trixie looked at the wand in amazement, and then at the wizard. She broke out into an enormous grin. “In this world, the Great and Powerful Trixie really IS great and powerful!” She swung the wand at the wizard. “Wingardium leviosa!” The wizard lifted into the air and blubbered as he started to float away. “TO THE MOON!” cried Trixie, laughing manically. Several wizards then rushed the group. Sweetie Belle, now recovering from her Dio charm, looked up and blinked. “Protegioconfringo!” she screamed. A shield perimeter formed around them- -and then exploded. Sweetie Belle and Humph watched in amazement. “Epic,” they both said at the same time. “Epic later, run now!” said Trixie, pushing them forward. They raced into the woods, with Humph mostly sprinting ahead and tripping over various trees, rocks, and haggis. “Wait!” said Fluttershy, dropping out of the sky and running. She was clearly out of breath. “Even though I spent so much time running from things- -+WHEEZE+- -I’m notoriously unathletic! I need to- -EEEK!” A wizard leapt from a tree, reaching for Fluttershy. “Now I’ve got you, tiny horse!” she shouted. Before she could reach, though, a swarm of spherical golden birds poured out of the trees and surrounded her, pecking at her with their tiny beaks. “AHHH! NO! The snidgets, not the snidgets! NOOOOO!” Her voice trailed off as she was carried away by the swarm. “Um…thank you!” called Fluttershy. Something moved in the brush, and Trixie zeroed in on a wizard. She raised her newly acquired wand and shot off one of the only spells that Sweetie Belle had taught her. “Accio!” “Trixie, that won’t- -” Sweetie Belle’s admonishment was drowned out by the sound as Trixie’s spell hit the wizard in the crotch and, as he was dragged forward, his voice quickly rose approximately twelve octaves until only dogs and Fluttershy could hear it. “Careful!” said Humph. “If you had hit his spleen, you could have- -” He fell over a stump with a loud thump. “Stupid forest obstacles!” he complained. “Can’t see- -LUMOS!” A jet of flame shot out of his wand, igniting several wizards in his path who were forced to teleport out to escape the flames. “Oops,” he said, standing and picking up Fluttershy. “Come on! We have to get to Sunflower’s! It’s the only thing I know how to do when bad things happen!” The whole operation was going downhill, and fast. Maggie had no idea just how powerful this mysterious unicorn-tamer would be. She had done everything by the book, setting a perimeter and sending an advanced assault force in under the cover of a thunderstorm. They should have been able to take him down easily- -except somehow he had taken out the entire assault team and fought his way through the inner perimeter. “Yes!” she said into her magical headpiece as she ran through the forest. “Backup! I need BACKUP! The target is moving, and we can’t do BUTTS to stop him!” “It will take time to deploy a secondary team, but Liu is inbound,” said the voice on the other side. “Crap crap crappity crap crap CRAP,” swore Maggie. She was one of the only ones left on the first squad, and the rain was now working to her disadvantage. She could hardly see through the rain, even with the enhancements she was making to her eyes. The target was never supposed to be able to get into the forest- -once concealed in the trees, he would be impossible to find. Then, suddenly, Maggie bumped into something that was not a tree. She fell backward, and so did the man she had just run headlong into. “Ow!” she cried. “I’m so sorry,” said the man, sitting up. He and Maggie looked at each other and blinked. “YOU!” cried Maggie, realizing that she was looking at her target. “Tax collector!” cried the man. He raised his wand. Maggie’s had been knocked out of her hand, and she was defenseless. “Alohamora!” A beam of yellow light struck her, and all that happened was that her sinuses felt slightly clearer. She paused, wondering why he had used an unlocking spell on her. “DELETRIUS!” she yelled, firing her wand at him just as he was standing. “Descendo!” retorted the man, pointing his wand at himself and causing him to slam into the ground with immense force in time to dodge the spell. From below, he pointed his wand at her. “Dimunuendo!” “Protegio!” She cast a shield, but there was no impact apart from a violet surge. Maggie looked around, confused, as her target had apparently vanished. She wondered if he had apirated without her noticing, when suddenly she saw the leaves near his former position rustling. To her astonishment, she saw him- -now six inches tall- -trying desperately to sprint away from her. “Oh, it’s a good thing I put my stompin’ boots on today!” she said, chasing after him. Suddenly, another voice called from the brush beside her. “Engorgio!” The man suddenly enlarged to his normal size directly below Maggie, grabbing her stomping foot on the way up and tilting her onto her back. The wind was knocked out of her as she fell, and a sharp pain went through her mouth. “OWF!” she cried. She grasped for her mouth and felt liquid that was not from the rain. “Myth tung! You made me bith my tung!” “I’m so sorry,” said the man. “You’re abouth to be,” said Maggie, standing up- -and putting her wand away. She was tired of doing this by the book and now she was angry. She directed her metamorphomagus magic inward, causing herself to shift. Her muscle mass increased exponentially, and she felt her clothing rip as her bones extended and hardened. Within seconds she was towering a meter over the man, her face contorted into a wild grimace. “Supermutant!” cried a blue unicorn below. From above, Maggie could now see her true targets, a trio of small horses. They were here- -and for some reason, they could talk. “Lacurnum inflamare!” shouted the smallest of the unicorns. She appeared to be actually competent, and a well-formed blast of flame shot out of her horn. Maggie did not bother to dodge or block; instead, she thickened her skin into an inflammable shell and withstood the blow. As she did, she reached down and snapped a tree off at the base. Just as the man she had been fighting was standing, she bashed him in the chest with the tree, sending him flying backward ten feet and into a tree with tremendous force. Maggie immediately cringed. She despised actually hurting people. Dueling with magic was one thing, but with a blow like that he had surely sustained internal injury, with the least possible being bruised or broken ribs. Fortunately, Maggie knew some amount of magical first aid and could heal him once the unicorns were secured. Except he did not even seem to notice. Even after both blows, he seemed to experience no pain or to even notice that he had just sustained injury. “Tell me, pretty lady,” he said, raising his wand. “Have you ever met...a level 23 cromniomancer?!” He waved his wand and something appeared. At first, Maggie reacted defensively, reaching for a wand. As it turned out, though, all he had summoned was, of all things, a leek. “Sweetie Belle!” he said, tossing it to her. “Macroherbivicus!” squeaked the small pony. The spell hit the leek, and it instantly grew to enormous size- -and then began moving. It pulled itself toward Maggie on a set of tentacle-like roots, reaching for her. From a brief teaching position at Mahoutokoro, Maggie knew that it was now time to be absolutely terrified. The tentacles wrapped around her limbs, and as it turned out, the enormous onion was stronger than she was by far. Her targets seemed to realize this too, and they started to retreat. “NO!” bellowed Maggie. She shifted again, this time returning to normal size and causing the roots to loosen. As she did, she reached for her wand. “Polydefindo!” The leek was instantly shredded, and she swirled through its remains, targeting the group just as the man turned around to face her. “STUPEFY!” A burst of red energy shot out of her wand, and it struck the first to unicorns, rendering them paralyzed instantly. The pale-yellow unicorn was out of the initial range of the spell, but leapt into its path at the last second to protect her master. She too fell stiffly to the ground. The man looked down at the ponies, and then up at Maggie. “That was so mean!” he said. “What did they ever do to you? Ponies don’t even pay taxes!” He then raised his wand and smiled a broad, mad smile. “I guess it’s just one on one now, though.” Maggie did not know why, but that smile terrified her. She knew instantly that this was not an ordinary wizard, or not even anything close to one. Then, as she watched, the end of his wand started to spark and drip writhing, liquid fire. Maggie’s eyes widened in fear, because she recognized the spell. This man was insane enough to be preparing to produce Fiendfyre. Even with all the rain, nothing would stop that spell. It would consume him, her, the ponies, and the entire forest, even the muggle villages near it. This man was a true dark wizard, and Maggie instantly knew that she had to stop him. She did not know why it came to her mind, or what caused the long-forgotten spell to surface in her consciousness. She could have cast a shield, or apirated, or even disarmed him, but the fear took hold of her and she raised her wand, acting with complete conviction. “Avada kedavra!” she shrieked. A blast of green light shot from her wand and hit the man in the chest. His eyes widened as he looked down, and then they went hazy as he fell backward onto the dirt below. Maggie cried out in horror at what she had just done. It was too much. Those staring, open eyes- -she could not bear to look at him. She crouched, closing her eyes and covering her ears as she burst into tears. She kept telling herself that she had to do it, that there was no other choice- -but she knew that there had been. She had just murdered a man. She was a killer. It took her several seconds to regain her composure enough to talk. Still with her eyes closed- -she had never seen a dead body, not even when the Dark Lord had taken Hogwarts in her third year- -and she did not want to see one now. “O…okay,” she said. “Unicorns, you’re…you’re going to come with me. Back to base. I need to…” She needed to open her eyes. It took her several seconds just to get the courage to face that idea, and then several more to actually force herself to look at her handiwork. Instead of a body, though, she saw a pile of clothes in the shape of a human. She stared at this, confused. “Did he…did he just Obiwan Kenobi me?” Then she realized that the ponies were gone as well, and looked up just in time to see him sprinting away in only his underwear, carrying all three stiff ponies through the woods. Numb and completely dumbfounded, she got up to chase him- -only to fall flat on her face. She saw that not only had he just survived the unsurvivable killing curse, but he had used a knotting spell to tie her bootlaces together. This man was indeed an extremely powerful and dangerous dark wizard.