//------------------------------//
// On the Third Day 
// Story: Twilight's 12 Pains of Christmas 
// by TheDriderPony 
//------------------------------//

	Twilight was startled to consciousness by an unbearably loud bird call. She sprang from her bed with a yell, wings instinctively spreading in preparation for fight or flight. Unfortunately, this caused them to catch the curtains on either side of her four poster bed. Her startled leap proved to have more momentum than the curtain rings could take, causing them to snap off. Her fall quickly turning into a somersault, the rotating motion make the ripped curtains entangle themselves around her body. Within moments, the all-powerful Element of Magic and Princess of Equestria was reduced to a large wad of curtains and fuzzy blankets with a grumpy and dizzy face peering out from a convenient hole in the center. From a distance, one could have easily mistaken her for a large purple egg. As she sat there, dazed and disoriented, a chicken walked into her field of vision. It clucked at her curiously, and then proceeded to at peck her horn like it was a juicy, fat worm.

"Ow! Ow! Hey! Cut that out!" Twilight tried to summon her magic, but each fresh peck to the horn shattered her concentration before she could even begin to form a spell. With her primary trump card out of play, she resorted to more... primitive solutions. "Shoo! Shoo! Sh-Ow! Get out of here you- you- you pitiful poultry!" She tried to shift her weight, either to loosen her wrappings or roll away from her tormentor, she didn't care which. She swayed slightly, but this only served to further make her horn look like a wriggling worm. To make matters worse, rather than scaring away the chicken, her shouting and yelling apparently attracted two more. Rather than fight over pecking rights, they positioned themselves around her horn (which resulted in one bird standing on her face) and started up a steady tempo of pecking where each bird's head came down as soon as the previous one's was clear. Like a trio of miners with pickaxes all working the same spot, the chickens showed a sense of coordination which could make a cuckoo clock envious. Though not particularly painful, it was incredibly annoying and prevented any usage of magic. Outnumbered and overpowered, Twilight opted to tag in some assistance.

"Spike! Spike!" Twilight yelled as loudly as she could while trying to avoid causing a repeat of yesterday's incident. "Spike could you- ow!- come to my bedroom please! Ow! I really need your he- ow!- your help! Please hurry!" She continued yelling until she could hear his claws outside the door.

"Alright, alright already!" he groused, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "Are these early morning tree problems going to be a regular thing now? Because if they are, then I- oh." Finally opening his eyes fully, Spike took in the situation. The somewhat destroyed bed-sheets. Twilight, cocooned as effectively as if she'd been visited by changeling (or a mad seamstress with an unhealthy egg fascination), who winced periodically. Three chickens who pecked at her incapacitated horn like mechanical miners. And a pear tree resting casually in the corner of the room. After a moment, he summed up his thoughts. "Well this is new."

"If you're done -Ow!- gawking, I could use some -Ouch!- help here please!"

Spike hurried over to Twilight's rescue. While a trussed-up pony's yelling had had no effect, the chickens scattered quickly before the oncoming dragon. Twilight sigh in relief at the reprieve. As the she waited for the stinging to go down, Spike began experimentally prodding and tugging wherever her bindings looked loose. "So how'd you end up like this?" he asked.

"I think one of them clucked right in my ear and woke me up," Twilight admitted, "I sprang up, got tangled, fell forward, rolled, and became even more trapped. Then I couldn't even use my magic because they kept pecking at my horn!" Spike laughed a little to himself,  praying it was silent enough for Twilight to miss it. Within a few minutes, the pain became bearable enough for Twilight to use her magic again. She tugged at her bindings, looking for a free end or at least a loose section, but found none. In a burst of frustration, she gave up and simply teleported across the room. She sighed as she looked at her shed husk of blankets and curtains, as well as the tattered ends still clinging to the bedposts. "Well shoot, looks like we'll need to go shopping again." 

Spike stuck his head in the opening she'd left, finding he could moe in and out freely. "Man, you were really stuck weren't you," He chuckled ruefully, "Heh, it's a good thing Chrysalis or Sombra or any other villain didn't decide to invade us today."

Twilight smiled morosely. "I suppose that's true. Well, at least it was something new today. No pears trees, ey Spike?"

"Uh, Twilight..." He pointed a claw behind her. She turned, and her eyes widened at the sight of yet another pear tree in her home. The chickens had settled down around its base, and she could see three more bird heads poking out from the branches. The room seemed to heat up as her frustration grew.

"Alright, that's it!" She declared angrily with a mighty stomp of her forehoof, "Once is chance, and twice is coincidence, but three times is conspiracy! C'mon Spike!" She grabbed him roughly with her magic and set him on her back. "It's time we brought in an expert!"







"Now, why exactly am Ah here?"

Twilight and her companion walked along the crystal corridor which led to the ballroom, where all the new arrivals had been moved for safekeeping. Twilight sighed. "Look I- Well- There's been some strange things going on, and I just thought it might be time to bring in an expert opinion."

Applejack smiled. "Well, you know Ah'm always willlin' to help you out Twilight. Though Ah'm not sure what kinda 'strange things' Ah could be an expert on. Frankly, unless your problem relates to farmin', honesty, or buckin', you may have called the wrong mare."

Twilight chuckled nervously. "Yes, well, about that..." She pushed open the doors to the ballroom. As far as ballrooms go it was quite grand in design. The room spanned some distance in each direction, easily able to hold well over a hundred ponies (not including flying pegasi). While the floors and walls were made of the same material as the rest of the castle, the crystal here seemed more geometrically placed, creating a series of spiraling fractals just beneath the surface. In the center of the floor, some of the crystal was slightly discolored, creating an image of Twilight's cutie mark. A wall of large windows and matching skylight filled the room with sunlight, though the glass of the windows seemed to be made of a much thinner version of the floor material. A series of arching staircases along one wall led up to spacious balconies halfway up the walls. Banners of purple and gold adorned the walls, while filigree of the same colors added a delicate flair to various accents around the room. All in all, it was everything one would expect of the ballroom of a royal princess.

Applejack whistled appreciatively as she cast her gaze about. "Well Ah'll be. Don't reckon Ah've ever seen this room before. Pretty sure Ah'd remember it if Ah did. Still not sure what you need my help with though."

Twilight pointed to the center of the room where Spike stood waiting and waving. Behind him stood the three trees, each with a chicken at its base, and two of which had turtledove nests on top. The three partridges had apparently decided that Twilight's blanket-and-curtain chrysalis would make a perfect new home, and could be seen just within. They began walking towards the menagerie.

"You see AJ," Twilight began, "As of two days ago this... stuff... starting showing up in my castle. First it was one tree with a partridge in it."

"I named her Surely." Spike contributed.

"Then yesterday there was another tree and bird, along with a nest and two doves. And finally this morning, there was yesterday's things again as well as these three blasted chickens pecking away at my face."

"Prench chickens." Applejack corrected instinctively.

"What?"

"They're Prench chickens. Hens, really. Blasted chickens have black feathers, sharper beaks, and are a lot shorter."

"Er... thanks?" Twilight offered, "But what I really wanted your thoughts on was the trees. Anything you could tell me about them would be great."

"Twilight, Ah'm an apple farmer," She stated plainly, "What makes you think Ah'd know anything about pear trees?"

"Well, I..." Twilight fumbled awkwardly, "Aren't all fruit trees somewhat similar? Or at least isn't there a close enough relation between apples and pears that some knowledge should overlap?"

Applejack narrowed her eyes at Twilight. "For the sake of our friendship, Ah'm going to forget you just said that." She relaxed slightly, "But also in the name of our friendship, Ah'll still give it my best shot."

She walked over to the trees. She studied them, taking them in from all angles. She leaned in and sniffed them. After several more minutes of similarly unscientific experiments, she was ready to deliver her verdict.

"They're pear trees, sugarcube. Not much else Ah can really say. Seem healthy enough, though they could use some water."

Twilight approached cautiously. "I was kind of hoping for a bit more than that. A subspecies maybe? Or anything out of the ordinary who might pick up with your Earth pony magic?"

Applejack gave her a level stare. "Twilight, they look like pear trees," She gave one tree a light kick, "Feel like pear trees," she inhaled and grimaced, "Smell like pear trees, and if Ah didn't care about soilin' my mouth with their unnatural juices, Ah bet they'd taste like pear trees too. That's really the extent of what Ah can tell you."

Twilight sighed in resignation. "Well, thanks for coming out anyway AJ. I'm just a little upset and confused over this whole situation."

Applejack placed a conciliatory hoof over Twilight's shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll figure it out. If anypony can, you will." She moved the hoof to her chin as her gaze turned thoughtful. "You know what this kinda reminds me of? That thing Pinkie was talking about the other day?"

Twilight's ears perked up. "Pinkie? What thing?"

"You know, that legend of hers about the dragon-pony or whatever that trades presents for candy? Wasn't there a second part about it filling up your house with junk if you didn't believe or something?" She shuffled her hooves nervously, "Ah admit Ah wasn't paying real close attention at times."

"Yeah right," Twilight scoffed, "I'm sure there's a much more reasonable explanation than me angering some mythical creature nopony's ever heard of."

"Ah don't know Twilight, we've seen some strange things these past few years. We all thought Nightmare Moon was an old mare's tale too, and see how that turned out."

Twilight scoffed again. "Pinkie's Hearths Warming Fairy is not nearly on par with Nightmare Moon. We have written evidence of the legend being imported to help amend cultural fences after the Minos war. Evidence from a book. And you can always trust books."

"If you say so," Applejack shrugged, "Ah'm just saying: keep an open mind, y'hear?"