more you can hear."
Luna was about to respond when she heard the echoing sound of distant hoofsteps. The sound was faint, but it was magnified by the curved shape of the grand hall.
"Ok, you're right this time. But we still don't know where..."
Before she could finish, Big Mac started running, and then took a powerful leap, sailing impossibly far through the air. He caught the third floor railing with his teeth, and then with another kick, flipped himself over and through the open doorway. Luna was shocked for a moment, until she remembered that earth ponies have magic too. At least the dreamer tea hasn't worn off for him yet. She opened her boring old wings and followed.
Unsurprisingly, the door led to a room full of bookshelves. The shelves lay empty, as the books had fled to the back of the room, startled by Big Mac's sudden appearance. Still, it seemed like there were less books than there should be for a room with this many shelves. But that wasn't the important part. At the back of the room, tending to the books, was a familiar lavender alicorn. Her wings were hidden underneath a Star Swirl the Bearded costume robe for some reason, but it had to be her.
"Twilight Sparkle! There you are!"
Instead of answering, Twilight Sparkle began casting a shield spell. That was odd. Did she think they were being chased by Steve? Come to think of it, Big Mac had just charged in at an alarming speed.
"Do not be afraid, my child. Though we bear grave tidings, there is time yet to flee, for our foe has not yet located this dream. You must cease your slumber and seek assistance in the waking world, before this dream too is invaded."
Twilight added a second layer to her shield. That one was an ancient spell even Luna barely remembered from her youth. Strange, when far more effective spells had been known for centuries. Having finished her shield, Twilight turned to address Big Mac and Luna.
"Uh, do I know you? How did you get here?"
Suddenly a voice called from the doorway behind them.
"Hey Clover, I've got the next load ready downstairs. Can you show them to their perches, while I handle the more dangerous ー Hey Luna! Hi Big Mac! What a surprise. I didn't expect to ever see you again. Or before, or whatever. You know the drill."
"Star Swirl!? What are you doing here? And why did Twilight lose her memories?"
"What does it look like I'm doing? We're storing the knowledge of unicorn-kind in my dream libraries so it won't get destroyed when the windgos arrive next year. Sorry about the mess. Dream books tend to get a bit flighty around strangers. As for Clover, that's my apprentice Clover the Clever, not Twilight Sparkle."
Star Swirl the-not-yet-bearded paused and looked at his apprentice again. "Though now that you point it out, they do look awfully similar. I suppose you only knew Clover as an older pony, so the mistake is understandable. Clover, this is Luna, future princess of Equestria, and Big Macintosh, my son."
"WHAT?" Big Mac let out an uncharacteristic shout. "That's impossible! ... er, I mean Nooope."
"Search your feelings! You know it to be true."
"Nooope. Still."
"Darn, I was hoping that seeing me would undo the effects of the retcon, but I guess that kind of thing only happens in stories. Well I suppose I might as well tell the story and see if it unlocks any memories. You see, I will once have been an adventurer like you. Err, how about I just use the past tense to simplify things. Anyway, I grew tired of adventures and decided to settle down and live the quiet life. I fell in love with a nice earth pony and we married and moved back to her parents' farm, and started a family of our own.
"I thought I had left my past life behind me, and for a long time, I did. But one day it caught up with me. I don't know how the Time Patrol found me, but somehow, they did, even though I shaved my beard and disguised myself as an earth pony. They hit me with a chronobomb, not only destroying me utterly, but deleting my entire timeline and retroactively removing all ponies memories of me. Luckily, I acted quickly and managed to create a stable time paradox, cloning myself back into existence in the deep past, though I wasn't able to save poor Edith. The patrol never found me again, but I knew it was too dangerous to return to the present, where they might still be searching for me. My only hope in ever seeing my children was through a dream bubble that transcends time, and it seems that my dreams have finally come true.
"So what do you say? Do you feel like everything suddenly makes sense now? Like a weight has been lifted? Years of inexplicable childhood memories suddenly put right?"
"Noooope... That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"Oh come on. Can't you believe me at least a little bit?"
Luna listened to Star Swirl's monologue and subsequent argument with growing impatience. "I think we've gotten a bit far afield here. As sorry as I am to break up this rather one sided family reunion," she said, not actually sorry at all, "but we came here for a reason. Whether it's finding Twilight or not, we really need to do something about the threat of Steve."
As soon as she said the name, a haunting, otherworldly voice filled the air. It came from everywhere and nowhere, singing an enchanting melody so strange that one would have to invent a new writing system just to properly describe it. It was accompanied by the much less enchanting sound of someone attempting to play a nyckelharpa using only their dorsal tentacles. Or maybe it was a nyckelhorpo; it is hard to tell since in the hypothetical writing system required to describe this music, the As look exactly the same as Os.
"He's already here! We have to run!"
Star Swirl looked unconcerned. "Oh sorry about that. I've got Steve's stupid song stuck in my head. Whenever you mention him, I'm reminded of it, and since this is my dream world, it plays everywhere. It will go away after a while if you distract me by talking about other stuff."
"You heard this monster... and lived? How? What is the secret to escaping his clutches?"
"Steve popped in here earlier, but I dealt with him. Don't worry about it."
"Dealt with him? How?"
"Oh, the usual. I just banished him to another dimension, thus solving the problem once and for all like a sensible pony."
"Wait, again? Did you at least put him in a dungeon in the place you banished him to?"
"When I banish someone, they don't come back. We don't have anything to worry about. Who cares about the precise details of his new living conditions?"
"Even if we're fine, what about the world you banished him to? You shouldn't be so quick to condemn alternate dimensions every time you meet a monster who's the slightest bit threatening."
"Oh come on, like he wouldn't have banished me first, if he had the chance. You saw what he did to Malicious Star, right? It was banish or be banished."
"You rest your argument on the specific circumstances of this case, and yet this is a pattern of yours. You have a problem. I really do not think that banishing all our monsters to places where the inhabitants are completely defenceless is a good idea."
"What is with you and assigning moral weight to people in alternate dimensions? Did you fall in love with your evil opposite or something? It was bad enough when one princess was trying to destabilize reality over a stupid crush. Besides, I don't recall you complaining when I finally managed to get rid of Mr. Cipher."
"Even if you don't personally care, you must still recognize that such an action is prohibited by the cantergorical imperative. Just consider: what would happen if everypony acted as you do?"
Meanwhile, in another world...
"Yo beardy! Some serious dudes are here to see you. Says they're Lawrence, Esquire, and Partners," the student called out.
Star Swirl groaned from behind the bookshelf where he had suddenly dived. The Regius Professorship of Chronology was a pretty good gig, all things considered. In between researching why one thing happened after another and working on the time machine in his living room, Star Swirl was left with ample time to ponder the bureaucratic snafu that had led to a research chair being endowed at an ordinary high school, thus conveniently depriving him of any actual duties.
His only fear was that some day, someone would realize that he was technically a teacher on the staff of Canterlot High, and ask him to chaperone a dance or help with the motorcross competition or whatever nonsense they were up to these days. Over the years, he had developed an instinct to hide whenever anybody started looking for him, but it appeared that he had finally been caught. Sure enough, three serious men in serious suits were standing at the front of the school library. Best to see what they wanted and get it over with.
"Hi guys, what's up? If you're looking for hosts for the fall formal, I am definitely the last person you should be asking. If you're asking about the thing with the salt shaker and the pot, I can assure you that there is a perfectly logical explanation."
"You are hereby requested to appear in court regarding the matter of Dazzlings vs Star Swirl the Bearded. Our clients are suing you for wrongful banishment, loss of livelihood, emotional distress, etc.," said the first man.
"Witnessed and served," said the second.
"What Lawrence said," said the third.
Lawyers. Why did it have to be lawyers? Still, there was a chance this could be resolved peacefully. He had never even met the Dazzlings, thanks to a fortunately timed fake sick leave.
"That can't be right. You must be looking for a different person."
"You are Star Swirl the Bearded, are you not? Don't bother denying it. This improbably large school library has an entire wing named after you, and there's a painting under the banner that looks exactly like you. Also, there's noone else around here named Star Swirl or anything like it. We checked."
Well so much for the easy way out. But Star Swirl had one other trick left. Lawyers were the worst scum that walked the earth, he thought. The less of them in the world the better. It's really for the best...
"How about a change of venue?"
Pop! Lawrence, Esquire, and Partners awoke in a somewhat stranger library. For one thing, the books were flying around. For another, they had somehow turned into small, colorful horses.
"Where'd he go?"
"Man, you guys look ridiculous!"
"Maybe we're all just dreaming."
"That's impossible! I wouldn't dream of forsaking a client when billable hours are on the line."
"He can't have gotten far, and there's only one exit to the library."
"Like toys for little girls. Only bigger. And not toys."
"Actually, that gives me an idea."
Suddenly, the trio of lawyers heard voices coming from the ceiling above.
"Wait, did they just say Star Swirl?"
Star Swirl the not-yet-bearded watched the three new ponies coming around the corner with apprehension. Something was off about these ponies. Maybe it was the identical magical necklaces they wore. Maybe it was their ominous cutie marks. And then he realized. Lawyers. He had read tales of the horrible beasts in the insane scribblings of lost journals recovered from other dimensions, but he never thought he would have to face any in person.
"Lawyers! Run!", he shouted. "Clover! Take the others to the emergency tea stash. I'll deal with these monsters."
Clover poked a bookcase, which swung away from the wall to reveal a secret passage. Big Mac hurried through, but Luna hesitated.
"I can't just leave you here alone! I must defend my subjects, and after all, dreams are my domain!".
"Don't be stupid! Without dreamer tea, you can't use magic here. Hurry, and I'll hold them off."
Luna looked like she was about to argue again, but instead, she turned and flew through the secret passage after the others. Star Swirl quickly pushed the bookcase back into place with telekinesis and then turned to face the approaching lawyers.
The familiar words of the banishment spell came to his lips and already, his horn and eyes were starting to glow. There was no room for hesitation in matters like this, whatever that dogooder princess thought. Suddenly, the spell fizzled out. What? He had plenty of tea left. He started the spell again, but nothing happened.
"How cute. The little pony thinks he's a magic unicorn," said one of the lawyers.
"You did this?" asked Star Swirl angrily. "What vile sorcery is this?"
"Oh, it is blocked it on copyright grounds. We apologize for the inconvenience."
"What? How does that make any sense at all? Besides, this is a parody, and clearly transformative, too."
"Try that on the judge, buddy. Fair use is merely an affirmative defence."
"Man, this place is going to be easy," said Esquire.
“Very well, then,” said Star Swirl, backing away from the trio. “I’m afraid you leave me no choice but̴̹̑͌ ̸̩͋̑t̸̬̩̀ó̶͖̩ ̸̜̍̉a̸̪͂c̸̹̱̾t̶̘̊̒ḯ̴͇̔v̴͚͖̔a̴̺̯͗t̵̙́ͅe̷͚͔̽͑ ̸̙͙̇t̷̪͋ȟ̵̠̭͌ĕ̵̪̅ ̵̦̙̈̒Ȍ̶͕͉̈́m̸̠̈̀e̶̡͓̒g̶̦̳͗ä̵͓͔́ ̸̺̉͘͜1̸̧̰̆̂3̸̛̦͇ ̵̉̈́ͅa̴͙͆̚n̵̢̗̾̍d̸͕̥̃ ̵̰̒ͅn̵͕͈̚ō̷̻w̵͇̙̿̈́,̴͙̼͐ ̸̢̮͌Í̷̢̧ ̵̣̀͝n̵̻͊e̸̢͈̿ḛ̴̈́ḑ̷̰̅̏ ̶̹̣̎͋a̶̖̍͠l̵̡̥̔̈́l̴̠͚̊͝ ̵̮͓͘o̴̡̅f̵̘̈́ ̷̧͉́y̴̅ou to go outssssside, find sssssome really big rockssssss, and push them back and forth for the ressssst of the day! Except for you two.” He pointed at two bat ponies, who also had unusually boxy heads. “You’re on toilet cleaning detail. Come with me!”
Ah, now there was the Captain Bob everypony knew.
———
Gummy plodded down yet another hallway. This airship had a lot of hallways.
A bat pony soldier passed him. “Hey… uh, Brian,” he said. Was that Brian? he thought. Those stupid lizard ponies all look alike.
———
“Works every time,” Daring Do said sassily, shedding her disguise once they were safely around the corner. “I once walked right through the middle of a legion of ancient Chineighse terracotta warrior golems just by drawing a face on a sheet of construction paper.”
“I like your style,” Maud said. “The rough line art reminds me of the cleavage patterns of the lower Mohs scale.”
“And also, they taste like candy, if the candy were made with tree pulp instead of sugar pulp!” added Pinkie.
“That’s stupid,” said Daring Do. “Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think there was some kind of cosmic writer who doesn’t know how to properly write for you, but has to because another cosmic writer before them included you in this part of the story, so they’re just putting barely coherent, tangentially-related nonsense in your mouth in lieu of going to the effort to actually get a handle on writing proper dialogue in your voice.”
“I like grapes!” said Pinkie Pie.
“Yeah, like that.”
“So what do we do now?” Maud asked, interrupting the authorially inconvenient line of discussion.
“Well, if I were a betting mare, which I am, if you’ve ever read The New Daring Do Adventures #39: Daring Do and the Valentine’s Poker Chip, then we need to get to the Shrine of Whatever before David does, and Daring Do whatever we can to sabotage his big important ceremony.”
“I feel like there was a reference in there that I’m not getting,” said Pinkie.
Maud blinked incredulously. “Did you just use your own name as a verb?”
“Yes!” said Daring. “I am contractually obligated to use my marketing department-issued catch phrase at least once per adventure! I die a little more on the inside every time!”
“Well, you’re going to die a little more on the outside, too, once we catch you,” called a batpony from up the hall.
“What? But how did you know we were here?!”
“They’re batponies, silly!” said Pinkie. “Of course they have good hearing!”
“Wait, you mean they’re actually half bat?” Maud asked. “I thought they just dressed like that. You know. Like that comic book. With the bat guy.”
“The Tomb of Dracula?” Pinkie said.
“Yes, that’s the one.”
“Wait, is that the one they made that awful Neighponese cartoon from?” another batpony shouted.
“Yeah, Sovereign of the Damned! It sucked!”
“Was that a vampony crack?” the first batpony shouted. “That’s an offensive stereotype! You’re really in for it now, when we get there!”
“Also, it was Cowboy Bebop. Cowboy Bebop was the reference you didn’t get,” added the second batpony. “Session 3. I mean, come on.”
“Oh, duh! Thank you!” Pinkie yelled, slapping her forehead theatrically, then turned to the other girls. “We should probably be getting out of here, though.”
“Way ahead of you,” Daring said, leading the way down a side passage. “If this ship is anything like the one Auihzotl commandeered from the royal fleet in my fifth book’s special edition, then… aha, yes!” she said, stepping aside and gesturing with a hoof to the airship’s cargo bay, which by chance contained a… “Emergency escape biplane!”
“Amazing!” Pinkie Pie gushed. “Fantastic! Fabulous! Stupendous! Amazifantabulopendous! Now you can fly us all to the Shrine!”
“Oh, er, uh, right…” Daring said, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. “Fly us…”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “You do know how to fly it, don’t you? I mean, you’re Daring Do! Why wouldn’t Daring Do know how to fly a plane?”
“Because I can already fly without one,” Daring said.
“Oh, right.”
“I can fly it,” said Maud, already having taken the pilot’s seat while the other two were talking. “Pinkie can take the back seat. Daring can fly on her own.”
“Wait, why do you know how to fly a plane?” Daring asked as Pinkie sproinged into the back seat and started making machine gun noises with an imaginary weapon emplacement.
“What do you think they teach in a rocktorate program?” Maud said, giving Daring a patronizing look.
“...geology?”
“Yes. That is the joke. Ha. Ha ha. Ha.”
“I get it!” Pinkie squealed, rocking back with her legs waving wildly in the air with mirth as Maud started up the engine and taxied toward the doors of the cargo bay.
———
The airship was already less than an hour away from the Shrine of Whatever when the girls had escaped, so in their faster biplane it took hardly any time at all to arrive. The bigger issue was landing.
“I never said I knew how to land,” Maud repeated.
“It’s kind of implied in saying you know how to fly!” Daring grumbled, impotently attempting to wipe more pink hairs out of her mouth. In lieu of setting the plane down gently, the Pie sisters had elected to bail out and let Daring catch them both before they hit the ground.
“You didn’t have to catch us,” Pinkie repeated. “Maudie and the ground are like BS&MEBFF.” She pronounced the ampersand. “And I can bounce! Watch!”
Daring put a hoof out to stop the pink pony from demonstrating just how far back in her ancestry a super ball indeed was, but it was already too late, and Pinkie went careening off into the shrine like a pinball.
“Well, at least we won’t need to check for booby traps on the way in,” Daring said.
Following Pinkie’s trajectory, Daring and Maud entered the Shrine. In archaeological terms, the Shrine was in less than satisfactory condition, even accounting for its age and most likely period of construction, available tools, and local resources. Although there was certainly a wealth of knowledge to be gleaned by study, laborious restoration work would have to be done before any serious field exercises could begin to produce publishment-worthy reports.
“It’s a dump,” Maud summed up.
“Yeah… the university never really got back around to this place,” Daring admitted. “Now come on, we have to disrupt the focusing stones before David gets here. You push, and I’ll supervise, and then it’s all just waiting for the would-be Baron’s big important ceremony!”
“I’m not very good at waiting,” said Pinkie, rolling to a stop at Daring’s hooves. “Can’t we just jump cut to the ceremony?”
———
“Darn you, David! I should have known you’d moved the Shrine to the bow of your airship when we were flying here and could clearly see that!” Daring growled as the bat- and lizardponies surrounded the trio.
“And yet you didn’t!” David laughed, holding and stroking the crown like a fluffy white cat in his forelegs. “But of course, I could only expect such obliviousness from you, Daring Do! Why, the only thing more oblivious would be falling for poorly drawn faces on cardboard boxes and splattered food coloring for disguises!”
Several of the guards coughed awkwardly but didn’t say anything.
“And now, you will be my honored guests for my coronation! Guards, seize them!”
“Rar!” said the guards, charging forward, only to be met by Maud’s mighty hooves! Batponies came at her from the left, but were rebuked with the Basalt Bash! Lizard ponies came at her from above, and were throw aside by the Tachylite Tornado! From the right they got gnashed by the Gabbro Gib, and when they came from below she gave them the Quartzolite Crush! Neither bat-, nor lizard-, nor any other type of pony in the world was a match for Maud Pie!
“Don’t take it personally, boys,” Maud said, cracking her hooves. “I’m sure deep down you’re all... Gneiss guys.”
“Aw, she didn’t even get to use the Chert Hurt,” Pinkie sighed.
Daring smirked from her perch atop the small hill of knocked-out henchponies. “It’s over, David!” she called. “Give up the Crown, or we’ll kick your butt from here to Vanhoofer!”
David smirked back. He was, perhaps, the one pony (assuming lizard ponies counted) in the world who could beat Daring in a smug-off. “I think I’d rather not,” he said, holding the Crown over his head.
“That’s not gonna work, you dummy! We rear̸̠͇̓̾r̴͙͋ạ̵͇͆n̵͊̽͜g̸̨̛̒e̴̖͉͘d̵̜̾̈́ ̸̛̪͘a̵͓̗̐l̶͉̂l̸͗͜ ̶̫̤̀ț̴̌ĥ̶̗̠e̷͚͗̒s̶̜͑̐ę̸͇̇̉ ̸̰̯̐̍f̸̤̯̓̒o̸̞̦͐c̶̗͑͒ȗ̵̬h̵̜̄̀â̶͉̐t̴̺̮̐͝ ̴́̏ͅw̵̲͛a̵̘͛ͅş̴̳̿͝ ̷͈̌ŵ̸̟̐ȏ̵̙̍n̴͙͚̈́͝derful, Princess,” Cheerilee cooed.
“THANK Y-, I mean, thank you, good Cheerilee,” Princess Luna said, remembering to switch off the Royal Canterlot Voice now that the fun was over. “Alas, duty calls.”
“No time for another round?” Cheerilee said, disappointed, as she slid off the couch.
“Would that there were,” Luna said, levitating her crown back into place. “But the fun must wait to be doubled until another night. You were exceptional, for what it’s worth.”
“Thank you, Princess. I never knew you had such a quick tongue.”
“And you are quite the, what do they call it these days, ‘cunning linguist’ yourself.”
“Close enough,” Cheerilee giggled. “But you really put me to shame! I mean, there’s no way I could handle such a mouthful! What’s your secret?”
“Many late nights’ practice. Now, we must make haste! Clover the Clever and Big Macintosh are waiting in the next dream bubble, and Star Swirl isn’t going to save himself!”
“I’m coming, Princess!” Cheerilee said, pausing only to turn off the karaoke machine. The last lines of Informer faded to black as the two mares trotted off through the membrane of the dreamspace. All in all, Cheerilee had to say that this was shaping up to be one of the better first dates she’d ever been on.
「神様、私は彼らが決して離れることはないと思っています。」 said the red panda in the blue business skirt, switching the machine back on and loading up a Pontera track. 「ああああ、あなたの所で、すべての恋人の家に行け！」
Trunks and Eventide looked at the monitor, dumbfounded at the events that just happened. “Uh… were we supposed to see that?” said the patrollers.
Luna just remembered that the two were able to see everything via the machine’s screen and then became embarrassed, while Cheerilee was none the wiser. “OHH-UHH, HI TIME PATROL! UHHH, WE’RE ABOUT TO HEAD TO THE NEXT DREAM BUBBLE! YEAH, JUST MAKING OUR WAY THERE, NOT LIKE THE ANYTHING THAT JUST OCCURED ACTUALLY HAPPENED FOR YOUR EYES TO SEE!”
A confused Cheerilee tapped Luna on the shoulder. “Um, who’re you talking to?”
The princess turned Cheerilee’s head toward the 4th wall. “Just smile and wave, and don’t think too hard about.”
“Princess, I think this is the door to the dream bubble we’re looking for,” Cheerilee bolted as she pointed towards the extremely sparkling door.
“Something about this door feels off… do you guys have any readings?”
The Time Patrollers diddled with the machine to see if they could find any information on the dream bubble. “It seems safe enough to enter, but just to be safe, unleash all of you alicorn power just in case the two of you become victims of a surprise attack. Remember, the aura of an alicorn is similar to steel.”
Luna proceeded to hold Cheerilee close to her and charges up to full power, creating a godly, blue aura. The two then proceed through the doorway, into the final stretch of their journey.
~~~
The world within this dream bubble looked dreadful and confusing to the eye. Ripped up dolls in the sky where clouds should be, nothing but multi-colored farmlands beyond where the eye could see and a huge infinity symbol glowing in the distance. “Luna, are you sure this is the right dream bubble? This feels more like something Discord would dream of.”
Princess Luna looked back and forth multiple times before replying back. “Trust me, I’ve seen what Discord dreams of, and it’s surprisingly tame. Now, follow me, I don’t want you to get hurt. We have to find Big Mac and Clover fast, or else THEY might come...”
Cheerilee accidentally punched Luna in the shoulder to get her attention. “Sorry about that Luna, but it looks like we have company!”
Luna turned around and saw a slew of villains slowly creep up on them. “Chrysalis? Sombra? Tirek? The Dazzlings? Puddinghead? The Countess? Blossom? How in the world did all of you get here!? … And what are those weird looking buds on your foreheads?”
Back at the Time Patrol, Eventide fell out of his chair and mumbled to himself, “N-no way, my dad has told me stories about this…” He then got back up and yelled to Princess Luna, “RUN! RUN AWAY YOU TWO BEFORE YOU GET CAUGHT!”
Luna and Cheerilee tried to escape, but ended up bumping into an unknown figure.
“Hello, Princess… and it seems you have a lackey with you,” said the terrifying blond human as he was pointing towards the two. “If you two are looking for Big Mac and Clover the Clever, then you’re pretty close… but no cigar. They’re in that portal over there and there is nothing you can do about it. I’ve mind-controlled all of my comrades so that I could stop you!”
Luna yelled at the conceited man, “Who are you, and what do you have to do with any of this!?”
The mysterious man chortled to himself before smirking at the frightened princess. “I’m surprised you don’t know me, I’m a very famous villain, or should I say, infamous~”
All of a sudden, the man started teleporting quickly, back and forth behind the various villains. “I am a being of high stature, a person to praise indefinitely, a walking charisma leaker.” He then teleported right in front of Luna with a huge, terrifying smile. “I AM A GOD, FOR MY NAME IS DI-”
Then another, shorter unknown person tapped him on the back. “Hakai…”
The weird blond man then started yelling in pain as his body slowly disintegrated from existence.
“Boy oh boy, that person was annoying, I have no idea why he was hired. What a Starscream, am I right?” said the short, gray blob.
“Wait a second… have we met before?” asked Princess Luna.
“HEY, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!” exclaimed Trunks, being the only one who knew this unknown person.
The person looked towards the 4th wall, glaring right at Trunks through the monitor. “IT’S YOU! HOW DOES A FAILURE LIKE YOU STILL WORK AT SUCH A PRESTIGIOUS ORGANIZATION!? YOU GUYS BETTER BE TAKING CARE OF MY DAUGHTER, PAY HER MORE THAN YOU USED TO PAY ME!”
Luna and Cheerilee glanced at each other in confusion while the angry, short man kept yelling at Trunks.
Eventide nudged Trunks to get his attention. “Hey uh, Trunks, do you know this guy?”
Trunks looked back with sweat pouring down his face. “Actually, I do. This person used to be my partner many years back. He helped save the various timelines of my universe, and was a close friend of mine in the early days of the Time Patrol. Unfortunately, defeating our old arch nemesis, Demon God Demigra, he started becoming corrupted with power and left the Time Patrol without leaving any sort of word of what he was going to do next.”
Eventide and Luna both looked at Trunks angrily for not telling them sooner about this person.
“The purple-haired dolt is right ya know, but I’ll gladly explain where I’ve been for the past decade.” The short, gray blob man then pulled out a huge book out from… somewhere, and proceeded to read off the events that lead to this. “I quit the Time Patrol because y’all weren’t paying me enough. I mean, 5000 zeni a mission, seriously!? I was saving the multiverse and that’s the best you could reward me with? So, I left without saying anything, though I did give my daughter half of the money I earned over the years so she could keep being a time patroller and still have a good amount of money while doing so. Next thing I did was use some magic, with the help of Towa and Mira, to resurrect Demigra. With their help, I started recruiting villains from various universes and timelines to create a better team than either the Time Patrol or Time Breakers. I let Demigra run the whole shindig, but I do let everyone there know who the REAL boss is. If anyone gets out of line, I just hakai them straight to the dumpster, just like the noisy Brando guy over here. Anyways, to gather up power, you need to get unlimited knowledge, and who else has such knowledge other than Starswirl? So, I resurrected the Tantabus so I could try to infiltrate his dreams and gain even more power, to go even further beyond a demon god!”
“YOU ARE INSANE, YOU SHOULDN’T BE MESSING WITH SUCH MAGIC!” exclaimed Princess Luna. She grabbed Cheerilee and blasted past the villains, shooting straight through the portal.
“Oy oy oy, you can’t just escape me!” The gray blob then absorbed the other villains to raise his power even more, giving him enough speed to chase after the princess.
Luna and Cheerilee made it to the other side, where they found an area filled with nothing but crystals. Each crystal had images of various universes, timelines and dimensions flashing through each facet. “L-Luna, what is this place?”
The princess stayed silent for a while, looking to the beyond, before replying back. “I… I honestly have no idea. Trunks, have you seen this location before?”
Trunks and Eventide tried looking through various time scrolls to see if anything matches up. “Ah ha! According to this time scroll, this area was the place where my old partner, Dumplin, defeated Demigra! Those crystals are time shards, glimpses into the past, present and future across time and space.”
Luna searched the area to see if she could find any traces of Starswirl, Clover or Big Mac. After what seemed like forever, faint yells could be heard in the distance of the vast void.
“Luna, I think I hear them, they’re somewhere in that direction! Let’s get them and hightail it out of here before Dumplin finds us!”
Luna nodded at Cheerilee, and rushed toward the edge of the darkness.
As they grew closer, the two could see the 3 ponies they were looking for, who were trapped in one of the time shards. Luna grabbed the time shard and tried escaping the area.
“LUNA, LOOK OUT!” yelled Trunks.
Luna turned her head as a souped up Dumplin was rushing towards them. “Oh, ya think you could get away with this so easily? Well, ya got another thing coming, AH HA HA HA!!!”
The chase went on for a while, as Luna escaped through the portal and headed towards the entrance to the dream bubble, with Dumplin very close behind. Luna then entered a different doorway into another dream bubble, where Dumplin followed suit.
“YA FOOLS, YOU CAN’T ESCAPE THE DUMPSTER! NOW HERE’S A TASTE OF MY LAST BLAST!!!” Dumplin charged up a powerful attack with all his might. Just as it seemed hopeless for the princess and the others, Luna remembered the dream bubble she entered was the same one from when she first started her journey.
“Mr. Alien, this is the one I was talking about before. Come out for a helping hand!”
Dumplin looked at the princess, confused at who she was talking to. “Wha? Are ya talking to yourself or what? ANSWER ME!” Just as Dumplin was about to fire his attack, a wad of tentacles started wrapping around him.
“Ah, there you are! Now, take him to THAT place!”
The alien looked upward as a giant X-shaped portal opened up. “Hzb svool gl Yroo uli nv!” The alien then hurled Dumplin into the portal and closed it quickly enough so that he wouldn’t escape. Shortly afterwards, the alien used his powers to free Big Mac, Clover and Starswirl from the time shard.
Everyone said their goodbyes as they went to their respective dream bubbles, except for Cheerilee. “Luna, will we ever see each other again?”
Luna then hugged Cheerilee and said, “Duh, I literally live a town away. I could just fly to your place for a little more fun. Now go to your dream bubble so you can wake up.” Cheerilee nodded and smiled before entering her dream bubble.
Princess Luna then woke herself up, back at the Time Patrol HQ.
“Princess, you’re awake! How’re you feeling?” said Eventide.
“To be quite honest, I feel extremely exhausted, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I had fun.”
Trunks then offered if Luna would join in lunch with him and Eventide.
“Sounds good, but I’d rather go back to Canterlot and catch up on some well deserved rest. All this sleeping really tuckered me out!” Everyone then did a cliche group laugh in the most annoying way possible.
~~~
“I’ll figure a way out… I just need to find that porta-OOF! Oy, watch where you’re lookin’, ya triagonal cyclops!”
“Same here, you disgusting blob-thing!”