Shepard struggles to push herself off the ground, her sore and used muscles screaming in pain, wanting her to lay down and rest, as sweat drips off her brow and falls down her face, her heart beating hard in her chest as if it’s trying to burst out. Shepard grits her teeth and finally manages to push herself off the ground…
“One hundred!” Shepard mutters, finally managing to do her hundredth push up.
“I’d think it be easier if I got off you, Shepard?” Spike says, who’s been sitting on her back the whole time.
“Too easy, after all the moping I did before I feel like I’ve let myself go,” Shepard states, standing up on all fours.
“Considering that you just did a hundred push ups with me on you back, I doubt it,” Spike says, rolling his eyes and hopping off her back, “Right Twilight?”
“I don’t think you should be working out at all,” Twilight states, who has been watching Shepard work out with mild interest, “You only recently got out of hospital after a nearly fatal injury.”
“Yeah, and who’s fault is that?” Shepard says, grabbing her water bottle and taking a deep drink.
Twilight hangs her head, it’s true that Shepard’s injury was her fault as well as her own, and she still can’t properly walk on her fore hooves yet. Actually, everything that went wrong with Shepard is her fault… but before Twilight can depress herself further, she feels a friendly pat on her back.
“Stop beating yourself Twilight,” Shepard says, patting her back, “I’ve already forgiven you, so let’s move on… how’s your foot anyway?”
“It’s fine,” Twilight says, lifting up her head and smiling, “ I should be able to walk on it soon.”
“That’s good,” Shepard says, heading for the kitchen, “I gonna make myself something to eat, I’ve worked myself up an appetite.”
“If you wait awhile, I’ll make some sandwiches and some tea,” Spike says, going to help Twilight stand up.
“Then I’ll just tie myself over with a biscuit or something,” Shepard says, trying to get a jar off the cupboard but is unable to reach it.
“Shepard don’t forget you have magic,” Twilight says, chuckling while taking the jar down with her own magic, before placing it on the table.
“Don’t forget that I was a human before and I didn’t have magic,” Shepard notes, glaring at the alicorn.
“What about your biotics?” Twilight asks, raising an eyebrow.
“They are totally different, that’s science,” Shepard says, dismissively opening the jar, this time with her magic.
Then Pinkie Pie’s head and upper torso pops out of the jar, much to everypony’s surprise.
“Oh god!” Shepard says, jumping back from the sudden Pinkie.
“Hello Twilight, hello Spike, hello Shepard!!” Pinkie says, smiling while sticking out of the jar like a genie who’s lost her lamp.
“Pinkie what were you doing in that jar?!” Twilight says, shocked.
“I wasn’t doing anything in your jar,” Pinkie says, smiling.
“Thank heavens for that,” Shepard says, still trying to get over Pinkie’s sudden appearance.
“Actually Shepard, I have some questions for you,” Pinkie says, pulling a pencil and pen out of her mane.
“Me too, how did you get into the cookie jar?” Shepard says, curious.
“I too would like to know this,” says the often unspoken voice of the Harbinger, the Reaper AI who exists in Shepard’s strange omni-tool.
“Please don’t, that way madness lies,” Twilight says, sighing and accepting a cup of tea from Spike.
“Just accept it as just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie,” Spike says, offering Shepard a cup of tea.
“Thanks,” Shepard says, taking the tea. “I guess it’s magic again or something like that,” she says, suddenly not caring anymore.
“I’m not satisfied by this answer,” Harbinger states, unimpressed.
“Drop it,” Shepard says, taking a sip of her tea.
“Hello! What about my questions?” Pinkie says, getting impatient.
“Urgh, why do you have questions for me?” Shepard asks, not really feeling in the mood for questions.
“Because I don’t know anything about you,” Pinkie states, unhappily, “I spent a long time being a meanie pants instead of being your friend, so I’ve got a lot of catching up to do!”
“And why do you have questions for me?” Shepard asks, repeating herself.
“Cause I wasted so much time that I could of used to learn things about you, I decide just to ask all the questions I had to speed things up,” Pinkie says, smiling.
“How about, no,” Shepard says, about to walk away, but is stopped by Twilight who grabs her tail.
“Come on Shepard,” Twilight says, holding Shepard’s tail, “I’m sure they’re harmless.”
Shepard rolls her eyes and turns back to face Pinkie. “Fine, I’ll answer your questions,” Shepard says, sighing.
“What is your name?” Pinkie asks, holding up her notepad.
“It’s Raven Shepard, and you know that?”
“What is your quest?”
“.... what?”
“What is the capital of Assyria?”
Sighing, Shepard grabs Pinkie’s shoulders, pulling her face to Shepard’s own.
“If you're not going to be serious, I’m not going to answer your questions anymore!” Shepard says, glaring at the smiling Pinkie, “Also it was Assur.”
“Right!... also sorry, just lighting the mood,” Pinkie giggles.
“Really? I would never have noticed,” Shepard says, letting her go.
“Anyway what is your favorite food?” Pinkie asks, holding up her notepad.
“Nearly anything beside army rations,” Shepard answers, sighing.
“No army rations… got it, ok what about favorite drink?”
“Alcoholic beverages, next?”
“What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?”
“.... nothing.”
Pinkie and Twilight give each other a worried glance at each other, before Pinkie continues to ask questions.
“Ok…. what’s your favorite season?”
“There’s no seasons in space, so I don’t really have one.”
“Ok, undecided… what about favorite colour?”
Shepard seems to ponder this, “It is either red or blue, but I can’t remember which.”
“How about purple? That’s red and blue combined?” Pinkie offers, smiling.
“Guess it’ll do…” Shepard says, sighing again.
“Okay, got any hobbies?”
“... I think I like to collect models? Maybe?”
“Really? That’s surprising,” Pinkie says, giving Twilight another sideways look, who looks just as confused as Pinkie and Spike.
“I like to practice my shooting as well.”
“Kay,” Pinkie says, less surprised.
“Are these questions really necessary?” Shepard asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course, they’re valuable friendships questions,” Pinkie says, nodding to her sagely.
“I don’t see how...?” Shepard says, shaking her head.
“Alright, next one!” Pinkie interrupts, grinning, “What is your gender preference?”
A silence falls over the room, beside Twilight who spat out her tea in shock.
Shepard takes a deep breath, before looking around, “Where’s the cookie jar lid?”
“Hey, don’t dismiss my questions!” Pinkie pouts, unhappily.
“Why do you want to know my preference?” Shepard says, her face totally stoic.
“It’s useful to know who your friends are into, like for example you're trying to help set them up with someone…” Pinkie explains, stopping when she sees Shepard frowning face.
“I don’t want help in my romantic life, hell, what makes you so sure I want to engage in romance?” Shepard snarls, frown intensive.
“Geez, it was just a example, I would never try to set someone up if they weren’t interested,” Pinkie states, smiling, “In your case, I would just like to know, I’ll probably work it out myself later anyway…”
“...Pansexual,” Shepard finally says, sighing, “I’m Pansexual, gender, species, or whatever, doesn’t bother me much.”
“Wow, you’ll be surprised how many ponies are Pansexual, like Twilight,” Pinkie says, making Twilight spit out her tea in surprise again.
“Gross Twilight!” Spike says, who was caught in Twilight’s spit this time.
“How do you know that Pinkie?!” Twilight says, wiping her mouth, since she herself didn’t even know her own gender preference yet.
“Madam Pinkie knows all!” Pinkie says, mysteriously.
“You could you put a hold on those questions,” Shepard says, finding herself tiring of these questions, “I’ve had enough, also I’m scared that you’ll eventually ask me what my favorite sexual position is.”
This time Twilight manages not to lose her tea, and instead just blushes heavily.
“What’s a sexual position?” Spike asks, confused.
“An interesting question…” Pinkie says, laughing.
“If any of you say anymore of this in front of Spike, I swear…” Twilight growls, warning them.
“Geez, fine, whatever, just no more questions ok?” Shepard asks, getting back to her own tea.
“Fine, I’ll find out later anyway,” Pinkie says, smiling, “Also tomorrow at 3, all of you come to Sugarcube Corner!”
“Why?” Twilight asks, puzzled look on her face.
“Cause, tomorrow, at Sugarcube Corner,” Pinkie says, excitedly and like she is building up to something, “We are finally having Shepard’s welcome to Ponyville party!!” Pinkie throwing up her fore hooves in celebration.
The room descends into silence, only broken when Shepard puts some more sugar in her tea.
“Isn’t it a bit late, I’ve been in Ponyville a while,” Shepard says, sipping her tea and raising a eyebrow.
“But nearly everypony is coming,” Pinkie says, finally climbing out of the cookie jar, “Everypony pony either wants to finally met you or see you again, and lots of ponies want to be your friends.”
“Hmm, I wonder why?” Twilight thinks, confused, accidentally saying it aloud.
“Twilight, don’t you remember?!” Pinkie says, shocked, “How Shepard saved the Cutiemark Crusaders from timberwolves, and Derpy from bullies.”
“Yeah, those stories that got blown way out of proportions,” Shepard sighs, thinking back on them, “Yes, I was being restrained then so I could only fight when I was being attacked.”
“Oh yeah, the Cutiemark Crusaders took everything way out of proportion didn’t they,” Twilight notes, remembering how they spent ages looking everywhere for Shepard, who always managed to avoid them.
“Yeah, well anyway, tomorrow, 3pm, Sugarcube Corner, Party, be there!!” Pinkie says, disappearing into the pantry.
After making sure that Pinkie has gone, and isn’t just hiding in the pantry somewhere, Shepard says, “Well tomorrow ought to be interesting.”