"Hello Autum, dear, what a pleasure to see you!" The surprisingly young, pink-coated mare standing behind the counter greeted us with a smile as we stepped inside the small entrance room. Given the fact that it was rather dusky inside; that the air was hot and felt heavy and hard to breathe, and the whole place had a rather shifty atmosphere to it, I had no doubts that Autum Leaf had stuck to his word and taken me to a strip club. And given the fact that it was Sunday morning, I had a rough idea of what would await me inside.
"Hey Aloe," Autumn casually greeted her back with a nod of his head, "How are things going?"
"Great! Just great, darling." Aloe replied with an exuberantly friendly smile, "Would you like the usual?"
Grimacing, I turned my face towards my friend, wanting to remind him that he was a married man, and this probably wasn't one of the places where his wife liked seeing him go.
However, before I could say anything, Autum shook his head. "No thanks, I'm in a bit of a hurry." he explained, "I just wanted to drop my friend here off." he said, nodding his head into my direction, "As you can see, he's in dire need of your ..." he gave a short cough, "services."
"What!?" I interrupted, feeling my face turn red, "I'm getting married in a few hours! If there's one thing I don't need, it's being unfaithful to my fiancée with some..." I looked at the girl who was eyeing me curiously, then bit my lip and forgot what I was about to say, not wanting to be too rude, "Random girl. No thanks." I affirmed, shaking my head to drive home the point.
"Don't be such a wuss." Autum said with a grin, grabbing me by my arm as I was about to turn around and leave, "Trust me, you'll thank me for this later."
"Oh, I see what you mean." Aloe now concluded, slowly nodding her head, "He seems to be very ... tensed up. But I'm sure we have just the remedy for this."
Again, I shook my head. "No. No damn way am I going to do this. Yes, there's a lot of things hanging in the balance right now, but whatever happens, I still love my girlfriend."
Autum Leaf gave a short chuckle, placing a hand on my shoulder, "You still believe that whole strip-club-thing, don't you?" As I just replied with a confused nod, he patted my shoulder again, "Don't worry about that. You know I'd never let you do something that could endanger your relationship." He declared with a serious look, "So don't worry, this isn't a strip club."
"A strip club?" Aloe asked with wide eyes, but then gave me a mischievous grin, "My my, your friend sure has some dirty thoughts, doesn't he?"
Once again, I could feel myself blush, looking to the side. "What is it then?" I asked weakly.
"Oh you'll see, dear." Aloe replied, stepping from behind the conter and walking towards me, "I can tell you're nervous, but we'll get you to relax soon enough, I promise."
Apparently seeing that I was taken care of, Autum shot me a sly grin, then raised his hand. "Alright, I should head out. I still have few things to take care of."
"Wait, where are you going?" I asked in surprise as Aloe grabbed me by my hand and gently pulled me through a milk glass door next to the counter.
"Got a few things left to handle before things get serious." He said with a casual wink, "I'll be back to pick you up in an hour. Enjoy."
He was just about to step out the door, but stopped again and turned around, casting a serious look at the girl next to me. "And Aloe..." He said, his voice surprisingly stern, "That part about him getting married was serious. So no funny business, alright?"
"Of course not, dear." Aloe giggled with a flick of her hand, "Many of our customers are married, and a lot of them have been here with their wives as well, and there never was any problem." she closed her eyes, tilting her head to the side with a smile, "So don't worry."
"Okay then." Autum said, his face looking much more relieved. "I'll see you two in an hour, then."
And with that, he was out of the door, and gone.
"Okay dear." Aloe said, giving me another friendly smile, "Come right with me, please. We will begin your treatment shortly."
I followed her, ableit hesitantly, still not entirely sure about this whole thing. "I, uh..." I muttered as we stepped through the door, "I really don't think I should-"
I fell silent as we passed the door and entered the room behind the reception. "Oh." I said, my tension disappearing in an instant, "This really isn't a strip club."
What greeted my eyes was a simple, but colorful and big room filled with whirlpools, a big hot tub and various truly comfortable-looking steamer chairs.
"Of course not, dear." Aloe giggled again, leading me past the chairs to a small chamber separated from the rest of the room by a thick curtain. "Here," she said, making an inviting gesture towards the small compartment, "Please get changed and have a seat on one of the chairs when you're done. One of my colleagues will be with you shortly."
"Changed into what?" I couldn't help but ask, raising an eyebrow, but Aloe just pointed towards a small shelf standing next to the changing booth, which was filled with fresh-looking white towels and blue plastic slippers. "Oh."
Still not sure what to make of all this, or where Autumn Leaf went and why he had left me alone here, I hesitantly took a step towards the booth, accompanied by the friendly looks of Aloe. "Feel free to leave your clothes and belongings in the booth, one of my colleagues will come to pick them up and return them to you as you leave." she explained with a smile, then focused me, "Now, is there anything else you would like to know?"
I hesitated, but then slowly shook my head. There really wasn't. At least not anything she could answer me.
"Very well then." she said, taking a polite bow, "Welcome to the Ponyville Day Spa. Enjoy your stay."
Minutes later, I was laying on one of the steamer chairs situated around the room's central hot tub, dressed in nothing but one of the white towels provided by the spa.
I had given up trying to understand what was going on. That is to say, I couldn't understand, even if I wanted to. I had reached a point where things had gotten so messed-up and chaotic that it seemed the only thing left to do was grin, sit back and accept whatever fate the universe held in store for me - there wasn't much else I could do, really.
I found it amazing how having the ground pulled from underneath your feet makes you realize just how small, meaningless and unimportant a single person can be.
And how little relaxation ten hours of sleep can yield if they were filled with alcohol, chaos and serious nightmares.
Given the integrity of things, it should be clear that the last night hadn't been too recovering for either my mind or body, and I was starting to feel the effects. The incredibly comfy chair might have played a role in it, but only a few moments after I had taken a seat, I could feel tiredness washing over me. By the time I noticed what was happening it was too late, and I could only stand by and watch as my mind trailed off and my eyes slowly drifted shut.