I'M STAR SWIRL THE FRIGGIN' BEARDED

by Gravestone


THE SECOND CHAPTER

  " I need an adult, I need an adult !!" I screamed as I ran around what I now know as the throne room trying to get away from those too-crazy princesses.

All the while the too-crazy princesses kept trying to hug me and tell me that they missed their beloved teacher. Let's just say I was glad that I wasn't actually an old man because I would've tried out way early especially since none of the supposed guards did a damn thing to help me. Seriously, the guards were supposed to help someone in danger right well I was in danger and what did they do absolutely nothing. Screw you, stupid guards.

In between running for my life and trying to explain to them who I am I finally caught a break... Looking to the main doors I noticed they began to open deciding to go for broke I changed my direction and full outran to them. 
As the doors opened completely I quickly noticed a white stallion with a blond mane and tail wearing a dress suit, shirt whatever enter the throne room at the same moment I was exiting.

"Thanks for the save buddy !" I yelled as I ran past him.

He said something to me or about me as I passed him but I didn't really care I was free.

Quickly choosing a direction I ran down the hall not caring who was in my way. Luckily the ones in maid outfits got out of my way but the guards were too slow. I plowed through small groups or jumped over them hell I think I ran on the walls for a bit. All I did was run turning left and right down the endless corridors until I saw a set of large doors hoping they were my means of freedom I charged at full speed strange thing was the doors opened on their own. Not caring I ran hoping and praying that this was it.
Let me ask you something have you ever had one of those days where things start off just right? Wake just before the alarm clock goes off. Hit every green light. Finding a perfect parking spot in front of the store. The store has everything you're looking for and when you get to the register you realized your wallet is still at your house. Yeah, that purity much explains my luck today.
There I stood back in the throne room. But now I didn't have just the two princesses still with the scary clown smiles but there were six more ponies staring at me and two of them had smiles scarier than the princesses. A pink one that looked downright psycho. I mean it, her hair was like, really poofy and a lavender one whose smile was as big as the pink ones but her eyes they were huge. To be honest I was more scared of her than any of the others including the pink one. But like I said I found myself back in the throne room.
And I did the only manly thing I could do.

I threw myself on the floor kicking and screaming like a four-year-old whose mother said no to candy.

After my little tiff, I ended up on my back with my eyes closed breathing heavily trying to catch my breath. When I heard the clip-clop of hooves making their way closer to me. Hearing them stop at my head I opened my eyes to look at an upside-down Celestia.

"Feeling better?" She asked in a concerned tone but instead of a smile, she had a grin on her face.

Taking one final deep breath I looked her in the eyes and began kicking and screaming once again. Then I immediately stopped when I felt a hoof hit me across the face. I'm not going to lie it hurt but it did snap me out of it. After calming down I composed myself getting back up on my hooves. I Looked to Celestia knowing she was the one that hit me and waited for her to apologize. But that never happened instead she starts talking in a motherly tone explaining everything that has happened to me.

"Allow me to explain, you see long ago our beloved teacher Star Swirl had discovered a way to see, into what is known as the multiverse," Celestia said taking a breath before continuing. Unfortunately in every world that he viewed the same thing happened only a fraction of his knowledge survived for the future to learn from. And upon seeing this he decided that he would find a way to preserve all of his knowledge for the future. She said before she was rudely interrupted by the lavender pony who to my surprise was taking notes.

"But princess I've read all of Star Swirls books and I've never heard of the multiverse?" The rude lavender pony said.

"The reason why it is unknown Twilight is that most of the different worlds were not very hospitable in fact only a small handful would be close to what we have here." Celestia said turning from her back to my direction." As I was saying Star Swirl decided to preserve his knowledge but the only way to do so was to transfer his mind into an object that held great importance's something that was exposed to his magic on daily basis." She said.

"His hat and cloak right?" I said looking over at Twilight with a smug grin knowing I got to say it first.

"Yes but unfortunately he would have to use all of his magic for the spell to work," Luna said as both she and Celestia lowered their heads.

"Okay now wait a minute. You're telling me that this Star Swirl guy used a spell and put everything he knows into this hat and cloak. And then sent them to another world where another him would put them on and come back here to spread the knowledge to future ponies ?"I said surprising myself for not only understanding it but saying it in one breath.

"Yes, precisely that," Celestia said with a smile on her face.

"Okay, then I've got a few questions then," I said with a confused look. "First when did all of this happen?"

"Approximately 1200 years ago," Celestia said finally starting to put things together.

"Judging by your expression you figured it out too," I said looking at her.

" What does he mean figured it out too sister?"Luna said as she made her way closer to us.

"What I mean princess is if Star Swirl cast the spell 1200 years ago then why did I receive these things today?" I said in a stock tone. "You see I'm not a theoretical physicist but I think time moves at the same speed even in different dimensions."I said taking a breath." I know for certain that I got these this morning. I thought they were a free sample for a new company called Discorded Enterprises or something."I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Wait did you say Discorded as in Discord? "Twilight said actually she yelled.

Before anyone could answer that, there came a disembodied voice.

Did somepony call my name? The voice said sounding like John de Lancie.

Hey, I said I watch some MLP episodes but I also watch Star Trek the Next Generation and Q was my favorite character.

"Discord show yourself and explain what have you done !!" Luna said in the RCV. (Royal Cantorlot Voice)

"Sheeesh Could you tone down the volume I think they heard you in Manehatten." Discord said as he materialized next to me.

Screaming like a girl and jumping back a good five feet I stood there looking slack-jawed at him or it or whatever.

Turning to face me a smile crept on his face. "Oh, I'm so glad you finally made it. I was wondering how long it would take for you to get here?" Discord said as he floated over to me.

"Discord, Would you please explain what is going on?" Celestia said with a stern look.

"Very well you see Swirly didn't take into account that the one who was to receive the hat and cape and yes it's a cape was at the end of his life as well. So I intervened."He said before Twilight spoke up.

"What do you mean intervened? " Twilight asks. Man I mean she can't go one second without asking a question.


"Yes intervened now don't interrupted it's quite rude." Discord said snapping his bird claw causing all of us to be sitting at school desks.

"Now where was I? Oh yes, he miscalculated so I contacted the Discord from that dimension and he said he would help. Although he did cast a spell on them something about the seventh son of the seventh son being born with the reincarnated soul of that world's Star Swirl although he did go by the name Merlin there. Discord said as he pulled off his horns and scratched his head with his lion's paw.

After hearing this I sat down and started to hyperventilate only to feel a hoof on my shoulder. Turning to see who it was I was surprised to see it was Pinkie.

"Are you alright?" She asked me in a calm and caring voice.

"Yeah, Yeah," I said calming down." It's just I'm the seventh son of the seventh son and my dad's family always believed we were dissidents of Merlin the magician. I said in a low emotionless tone. "So you're telling me that scene all of this stuff happen being born and who my ancestor was now not only do I've had all of Star Swirl knowledge but I have his body too. Oh, let's not forget that my life back home doesn't exist anymore did I leave anything out?"I asked trying to remain calm but failing.

"Purity much hit the nail on the head there chap." Discord said before his eyes widen in shock as I lunged at him trying to choke him with my front hooves.

Screaming at him, (Finding out their curse words are way different)
YOU MOTHER BUCKER !!!
YOU SON OF A BISCUIT !!!
I'M GOING TO BUCKING KILL YOU !!!

Let's just say it took the combined magic of three alicorns to pull me off him.

Standing back up Discord looked at me floating there still trying to strangle him.

He cleared his throat and looked over to the princesses." I think I'll go now, I might come back when he's a little less hostile." Discord said as he snapped his claw and disappeared in a puff of confetti.

Still floating in the air I was moved over in front of the three princesses. Each one had a stern-looking expression.

"What ?" I yelled before I realized who I was talking to.

"If you will calm down we will put you back on the floor," Celestia said as her expression changed from stern to caring.

"Fine you can put me down I'll stop acting like a raving lunatic," I said after taking a deep breath.

Feeling the ground beneath my hooves I just stood there with my head lowered and I was kicking hoof on the floor.

"Don't you feel better now that you relaxed a bit ?" Luna asked me probably thinking I'd say something nice.

Taking another deep breath. I was still looking down I said.

" No, because now I'm Star Swirl the Friggin' Bearded."