//------------------------------// // Wait Really // Story: Why me? // by Miner //------------------------------// Wait a minute; why didn’t I just tell Exclusive to teleport all of us away from here before Fluttershy shows up? That would have been a better idea than hiding in the back of a cave. Maybe if I hurry, I might be able to… nope out of time. Here she comes. I can see her coming near the entrance of the cave trying to find her victims. She lands quietly as she looks around. She notices our cave before slowly moving towards us. I can feel everypony around me shaking in fear. Hoping that she would not see us and go away. She stops in the darkness of the cave before calling out. “H.. Hello is anypony here?” I am not sure if she was expecting an answer from her victims, but that was quickly an option I had no control over. “No pony in here but our rocks.” Sweetie Belle replied quietly. “SWEETIE BELLE!” the rest of us shouted. Fluttershy made her way deeper into the cave. It didn’t take long for her eyes to adjust to the darkness before spotting us. “Oh, there you all are. I was wondering what happened to you all.” She moves to us before pausing as she notices the situation, we are currently in. “Oh, is everypony ok? Why are you all in a dog pile like that?” she asked tilting her head to the side. “UH! No reason!” Scootaloo said shaking a little. “OK then. Um, have any of you ponies seen Exclusive anywhere? There is something I got to say to him.” Oh, no you don’t you Vixen. I then got out of the dog pile to confront the mare while limping a little on my way over. I just about have enough of this nonsense, and I will not sit around anymore and do nothing about it. I stop a foot away from her to give her a piece of my mind. “Now just hold it right there, Missy! You are not going to say two cents to Exclusive; until I have given you a piece of my mind!” Stomping a hoof to drive my point in. However, my ever-faithful companions prove that I need to get new friends, “Wouldn’t that hurt?” Rainbow said, “It’s a metaphorical Rainbow!” I shouted at her. “But Jessica,” Fluttershy tried to say. I turn back to face her, “UGH! Enough with the ‘buts’ already Fluttershy. I have already told you about standing up for yourself. That includes your choice of words. And I know my advice wasn’t meant for you, but it still applies. Also, I am sorry for making you faint earlier but that’s not important right now.” Everypony else was getting comfortable as I continued to talk to her. “I can understand that you are in love with Exclusive, but you are doing it all wrong.” Fluttershy looks a bit worried now. “Uh, Jessica?” she tried but I just ignored her. “NO! You just sit there and listen." she sits. "You can’t just go running around chasing somepony just because you told them that you love them earlier. And then expect instant results when you do catch them. Love doesn’t work like that. It takes time for those kinds of feelings to grow. You can’t rush these things.” It was around then that the others started to realize something wasn’t right here and started to talk amongst themselves. “Wait didn’t we tell Jessica that Fluttershy was under the effects of a love curse?” Sweetie whispered to Exclusive. “I don’t think she knows what that means. We better stop her before she makes a fool of herself.” Exclusive said turning his attention back to me as I continued my rant. “And it doesn’t help that you were chasing us all around town as some sugar-craving pony would after a runaway donut.” I continued while the others were trying to get my attention Rainbow tried first. “Jessica.” “Not now Rainbow! I am busy at the moment whatever it is, it can wait.” I called over my shoulder, “And another thing, if you truly do have feelings for Exclusive, you should stop your advances. When you heard him say that he has his eyes for another mare.” I then notice that the others are looking a little worried for some reason. Maybe they have noticed something I didn’t? Naa… “Uh, Jessica!” Exclusive tried but failed. “In a minute! But no, you just let your feelings for him get the better of you. And then you cause all of this destruction and mayhem we are in right now. Enough is enough you can be better than this Fluttershy. But for right now I just got one thing to say to you Fluttershy.” I am in her face now. “Jessica!” They tried again but it was too late to save me. “Stay away from my stallion!” I shouted. Silence, nopony dare to speak. Slowly the words of what I just said came to me as a blush appeared on my face. I then looked around the cave to see Exclusive embarrassed with a little red on his cheeks. Rainbow looks like she’s on the verge of having a laughing breakdown with Scootaloo right behind her. The others were picking up their jaws from the floor. Did I just say that? I am now officially a red mare no longer a white one. After a moment of silence, Fluttershy decided now was the best time to talk. “Uh, Jessica I was trying to tell you that Twilight found me earlier. And she put me in a magic sphere until she found out what was wrong with me. It turned out to be a modified version of the love curse that I had somehow eaten earlier. It only lasts for thirty minutes. So, she kept me inside the bubble until the effect wore off. I just came here to apologize for my earlier actions to you all.” She said in her quiet voice. I was now backing away from her denying what I just said. “no, no, no…” “Twilight is trying to calm down the ponies of Ponyville right now as we speak." Fluttershy continues. "And sent me here to apologize and to bring you all back.” “no, no, no, No, No, No…” I said with my voice getting louder as I got to a wall stopping me. “So, are you all ready to head back into town?” she asked. “No, No, NO, NO, NO, NO!” It can’t be! I did not say that! I am not in love with a PONY! “Oh really. That is fine we can just wait until you are ready.” “Uh, Jessica are you ok there? You're turning a bit of red there.” Applebloom asked. “And what do you mean ‘No’ Fluttershy just said it’s ok to head on back,” Scootaloo asked. However, my ranting wasn’t stopping, and Rainbow was no longer looking like she was going to laugh. She was now looking annoyed with me and had a little twitch in her right eye. “ALL RIGHT ENOUGH OF THIS!” Rainbow shouted as she knocked me out. Later I have no idea how long I was out for, but one thing is for certain: I was waking up to pain again! But if I am in pain then I didn’t die of embarrassment …Beep… IT! I opened my eyes to see that indeed Pinkie Pie was next to me with that infernal horn of hers. I can also see the rest of the ponies in the room: Red Heart, the three fillies, Fluttershy, Exclusive, Twilight, Dash, and Two Pinkies. “Oh good, she's coming to. Jessica, can you hear me?” Twilight asked. No, I will not deal with all of this now. “Out,” I said simply. “Pardon?” she asked, “Get out of here. All of you.” I just want to die in peace! “Now, now Jessica calms down we were all just worried about you,” Twilight said gesturing to everypony in the room who also nodded in agreement. Well, at least they cared. But I didn’t. “Okay. As you all can see I'm fine for now at least. I was just a little antsy with all that has happened to me.” Wait, I am wearing a gown? When did that happen? “We understand Jessica," Rainbow spoke up. "I mean who can blame you? You’ve had more stuff happen to you in one day than anypony here has to deal with within a month.” Really? “Well thank you everypony for your concern, but I really would like some time alone to calm myself, before anything else happens.” “Are you sure that is what you want?” Exclusive asked, Taking a deep breath, I calm myself down, “No, you are right. I have priorities first. Ok, I need everypony but Twilight to leave the room. I have a private matter that I would like to discuss with her.” That seemed to make everypony confused for a moment before Nurse Red Heart spoke up. “You heard her, everypony out.” She said as everyone was making their way out except Exclusive for some reason. “That means you too Exclusive,” I told him. He was about to say something, but I didn’t want to waste any more time. “I don’t care what you have to say right now. I said that this is private, and I mean it! We can talk about us later.” He seemed to have gotten the message and left. Why did I say us? I think I am going native. I got to get out of here soon. After he left, I was going to tell Twilight my story, but I was having a funny feeling that some pony stuck around. So, I held up my hoof to her and moved it to motion her towards me. Once she was close, I whispered to her. “I think somepony is still here; just play along for a little bit,” “The weather is quite lovely today; isn’t it Twilight,” I said making my way out of bed. My leg doesn’t bother me so much as my head. That was probably Rainbow’s doing. She looked confused about what I was doing but decided to play along. “Why yes, it is quite lovely today despite what happened earlier.” I made my way to the closet and opened it quickly “YAH!” I said while seeing a bat flying out towards the window. I have no idea why it was in there, but I need to check the rest of the room. I continued to walk around the room talking, “It would be a shame if something else happened to ruin it anymore,” I said getting into position near the door ready to strike, and then attack. “AH!” my battle cry was met with nothing. But I still wasn't convinced that we were alone yet. “However, if something would happen, I would prefer a light breeze.” I then noticed movement near the window. I used my hoof to let Twilight know as I made my way over. “Yes, that would be nice. I like to feel the wind in my mane.” She said as I got next to it. Before they knew what happened I attacked. “Hiya!” I then pulled in our guest who was caught off guard by my cunning moves. “AH!” screamed Rainbow as she gathered herself off the floor. “I thought I made it very clear that this was supposed to be a private chat Rainbow,” I said as Twilight stared in disbelief that my ingenious plan had worked. After she had left, I made my way back to the bed ready to tell Twilight my story. Hopefully without any more interruption. “Ok now," I said getting comfortable. "Now that is out of the way let’s get down to business Twilight.” “Lets. So, tell me, Jessica, why did you want to talk to me in private?” “Well, the last time I tried to talk to somepony, I wound up being knocked out or ended up waking up on a mountaintop. So, you can understand my precautions so that it doesn’t happen again.” “Yes, I can.” She said nodding in agreement. “Anyways like I was trying to ask you earlier. What do you know about humans Twilight?” She rolls her eyes, “Well for starters Lyra is crazy about them, and they don’t exist in Equestria. Why.” Equestria must be the name of this land. And she said that they don’t exist here. That means she knows of them. Perfect. That makes things easier. Now to get her help. “Now before you think I am crazy just hear me out please.” She nodded “I am a human.” She snorted in a laugh “Good one.” I wasn’t expecting that reaction from her, but then again how could I blame her? I mean for crying out loud I look no different from any other pony here. This won’t do, “No Twilight I am being serious here.” “Uh, huh.” She then made a scroll appeared before her. “This makes this case number 145.” Case number WHAT, “What is that?” She looks at me with disinterest, “How many times have I had somepony tell me they are a human so that I can send them to their home world this year? Who so happens to be a Pony that just wanted to go see real humans?” “WHAT!” I screamed, “That means you have a way to the human world. And a way to send me back home. Twilight you got to help me! Her expression didn’t change, “Look Jessica if that is your real name. I can’t just keep sending random ponies to the human world. Do you know what would happen if that keeps happening? There will be so many ponies in the human world that I would have no idea how to find them again. I was just lucky on the first batch of fakes and got them back here before they caused the human world to be aware of our existence. I am not sending you to the Human world. End of story.” I then grab her hoof begging. “Please, Twilight you have got to believe me. I can’t live the rest of my life as a pony. I can’t live with myself if I can only eat veggies for the rest of my life. I need a hamburger in my life!” Twilight just looks at me like she is looking at a weirdo. “And what is wrong with eating veggies for life? I mean you are...” I had enough of this as I shouted at her point blank. “NO, I AM NOT A PONY! I WASN’T BORN A PONY! I AM A HUMAN BEING!” Twilight rubbed her ears. “Ow please, Jessica calms down,” Twilight said taking her hoof back. “Calm down? Calm down! How can I calm down, when the only way home is kept secret from me by a pony who won’t help me!” “Ok, Jessica. Let’s say I believe you. Then why don’t you start from the beginning, please? How did you get here?” “I have no idea how I got here. One minute I was home napping on my couch after work. And the next thing I knew I was here, running for my life by some dog made of wood. I then had to wait for morning in a tree before it left me alone.” She looks interested in my story and… wait… is she writing this down? Never mind I got a story to tell. “Once I got to Ponyville things got even more strange when I met Pinkie then Rainbow then Exclusive then running into the Cutie Marks Crusaders at the spa." Then a thought just occurred to me. "By the way Twilight, what is a Cutie Mark?” She stops her writing and looks at me with confusion, “Huh,” “A Cutie Mark. I remember the fillies talking about it, but I have no idea what it is.” “What are you talking about? How can you not know was a cutie mark is? I mean it is right there on you-” She stops her rant when I lift my gown to show her my flank. They were blank. She opens and closes her mouth a few times staring at my butt. I didn’t think that a Cutie Mark was a big deal, but I am glad that it was. Hopefully, she will that this seriously now. “What?” she moves to get a closer look which I found unnerving. She then uses her magic to bring a damp cloth to my flank and wipes a little. I guess she is just making sure. “But how?” She turns to face me, “How can you be an adult without having your cutie mark yet!?” “It is because I am a human and never had a tattoo on my butt before. So, I have no idea what a Cutie Mark is which is why I am asking in the first place!” She seems taken back for a moment, “Oh. Well, a Cutie Mark is a mark that appears on a pony’s flanks when they find out their Special talent. Everypony has them when they are an adult.” Wait...what? “Wait! You mean those Tattoos on everypony’s butt aren’t tattoos but it’s just something that appears on their butts with magic!” At least that's what I am gathering here. “Well, I don’t know what a tattoo is, but yes. A cutie mark is a natural thing around here. See my cutie mark is a constellation of stars that means magic.” She said showing me hers. “Oh, that is neat. Wait we are getting sidetracked. Anyways after that Exclusive took me to his house to see if he could help me, However, before I could ask him the Diamond Dogs got us and the rest you already know.” Twilight nods at this before she finishes writing on her scroll and puts it away. “That’s quite the story you have got there. I know what you said about meeting Pinkie and the others is true. And your argument that you are a human-turn pony without a cutie mark is solid. I am still not yet convinced that you are who you say you are.” she said pointing her hoof at me. “Well, I am not making it up Twilight. Just pull up my record and you will see that I just show up out of nowhere. No family, no working history, no nothing. And before you ask, I am not a changeling whatever that is, but I am not that. I am no threat to anypony, well not intentionally. But Twilight. Please promise me that you hear me out and believe that what I am telling is the truth and let me go home.” I pleaded with her. Then she causes another scroll to appear before her “Hum ok, I will give it some thought then.” she wrote down something on the scroll. “However, if I find out you are lying, we are going to have a lot to discuss Jessica.” “Thank you!”