Chapter 53: Under the Moonlight.
Eyes. Piercing. Green. Cutting through endless blackness. Etching themselves against my soul.
The world slowly comes into focus. The floor and ceiling are stone, stretching endlessly high, barely perceivable through the darkness. I step forward, into the depths, right hand clenching the hilt of the Buster Sword as it rests against my shoulder. I breathe sharply as I progress, the atmosphere becoming as oppressive on my breathing as the blackness is on my sight. Those eyes cut through all, their presence felt even if not seen.
A single glint breaks through the void ahead... followed by a second, and a third. Soon, its the tiniest bits of glistening green, wisps reflecting themselves to wrestle against the dark. Lifestream, pressed against the floor by the black above. It's not alone, however, in its defiance of the dark. Colorful spires rise from the ground, reflecting the light of the Lifestream in their crystalline forms. At first, they're no larger than twinkling pebbles, but as I journey deeper, they rise higher, eventually matching the crystals of the Crystal Caves in height as the Lifestream clings and flows around them.
I continue forward, but soon, the sight of a second mist stops me in my tracks.
Purple, gaseous in form, weaving through the crystals, only a speck at first, it wrestles against the Lifestream for prominence. Tendrils soon reach out, thick and unyielding as they slowly choke out the gentle green. The cave descends again into near-total darkness, only the reflection of the dim purple from the crystals permits any sight at all.
And then, the light of green returns.
Not the green light of the Lifestream, however, but the piercing, intense green of eyes, reflecting in one crystal, then the next. Soon, every crystal in the cave reflects the ethereal eyes, bathing everything in its stark green, the purple haze swirling into a crescendo around them. My cloak billows against a sudden wind, whistling through the paths between the crystals and sending the purple mist flowing past at my feet. A single, white speck passes under the hood of my cloak as others begin to appear, traveling along the winds. The lone speck is cold as it presses against my skin... snow.
The ceiling of the cave dissolves, dispersing into sheet after sheet of snow as the winds only become more intense. I brace myself, pulling my cloak over my face with my left arm as my right digs the Buster Sword into the ground to brace myself against the ensuing blizzard. The greens of the eyes are blurred by waves of white, but even so, one by one, I can see each set of eyes disappear from their crystal homes.
Clouds of purple ascend from between the crystal spires, resisting the winds as they coalesce into a single point above them. From them appear a single, massive set of green eyes, outlined in purple and encased in a swirl of darkness. Inside the green eyes' framings are striking red irises, colder than the blizzard and twinkling in their malice.
I pull the Buster Sword from the ground, gripping it in both hands as I pull it in front of me, feet digging in as I resist the intensifying blizzard around me. The winds carry a sneering chuckle as I ready myself, muscles tensing, ready to-
“Dusk! Come on, wake up already!” Trixie's voice floods my ears as reality is jerked out from under me, heart racing. I can feel her hooves pressed against my side, shaking me as my eyes flutter open. “Geez! Finally! You were freaking out enough to wake me out of the best sleep I've had in ages!”
A dream...? Yeah, that makes sense. I had a nightmare last night, too, didn't I? Was it similar to this one?
“Sorry...” I apologize as I place a hand to my forehead. I'm sweating, and my pulse is racing. Wait... when had I fallen asleep?
Trixie and I had come back from seeing Luna's little lockup with Cadance, and Trixie followed through on her plan of getting unnecessarily pampered by the castle staff pretty much to the letter. She even somehow sussed out that the castle keeps a supply of fish on-hand in case it has to house dignitaries from the Griffon Kingdom. It made for quite an appreciated surprise for me when the first food cart had been delivered. After that, she had set off to explore the castle, complaining about how she'd not gotten to the last time we were here, while I'd decided to stay behind and take advantage of the quiet to try and sort through all the ideas that'd been swirling through my head these last couple days. It'd been... more effective than I'd expected. Maybe Trixie had a point, Cadance's treatment having some effect had taken enough stress off my shoulders to help me put the other thoughts in my head and figure out which bits of paranoia might have some credence.
I must have drifted to sleep at some point during that, as I don't remember Trixie ever coming back into the room, and I can still feel my feet dangling off the side of the bed from laying back on it perpendicularly.
“Dusk, I think your nightmares are getting worse.” Trixie says, pulling me back to the present.
My breathing and pulse have returned to normal, so I use my arms to prop myself up, wincing. A quick glance at my forearms shows Cadance's warning coming to pass – while they've not returned to pure black, the splotches are far darker than they were the last time I checked them.
“I remember it this time.”
Trixie pulls herself up onto my bed, sitting next to me. “The nightmare?”
“Yeah.” I nod, clenching a hand to my chest. Something deep inside is stirring, not unlike...
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Yes, do tell us about it.” A third voice breaks into our conversation, pulling both our attentions to the doorway. The room is lit by a mere sliver of moonlight from the window and adorned in midnight blue hues, leaving the Princess of the Night deceptively camouflaged from us were it not for the sparkling in her ethereal mane.
I pull myself up into a proper sitting position. “You know, you could try knocking.”
“Something has come over the creatures in holding.” She says, ignoring me as she closes the distance between her and us. “We felt it ripple across your dream as well.”
“Come over them?” I ask, gripping my chest tighter. Were they feeling it as well? The tugging reminds me of the tugging from my last stay in Canterlot, and the tugging Sephiroth would use to control Jenova's cells. Its... different, though. Imprecise. The feeling is better described as being drawn by a magnet than it is by being summoned.
“Yes.” She confirms. “We've had to more than double the allocated Night Guard because they're exhibiting uncharacteristic aggressiveness.”
“...I feel it, too.” I confirm to her after a moment. “Jenova's cells are resonating.”
Trixie looks between the Princess and myself, flashing between a number of emotions before settling on disbelief. “There is no way that thing is still alive. We vaporized it with rainbows and dragonfire!”
“It's not Jenova, Trixie.” I assure her, causing her to let out a relieved sigh. “It's... something else.”
“Any hypotheses, dreamer?” Princess Luna asks, reaching the bed and sitting on the opposite side of me from Trixie. “We failed at reaching your dream before you woke, so your insight would be much appreciated on this matter.”
“I don't know.” I answer. “The dream itself didn't really mean anything to me.” I stop a moment, thinking. The yearning in my body soon pulls my mind to a single conclusion. “I think the reason it didn't mean anything to me was because it wasn't meant for me.” Princess Luna merely nods, and I continue. “I can't pretend to know that much about how Jenova works, honestly, but based on what I'm feeling, my guess is that the remaining cells are reaching out, confused, trying to find the main body...”
I trail off, and Princess Luna picks my train of thought up. “And since the creature is dead, they instead react to whatever powerful psychic impulses they can discern.”
“Maybe.” I nod. “In my world, Sephiroth was able to basically have full control over Jenova and all its cells... including the cells that were in my body. It's possible that someone else could gain control over any remaining remnants of Jenova for their own purposes if such a person ever discovered them.”
“That's... a troublesome thought.” She replies.
“Yeah.” I turn my head to make eye contact with her. “It's why I keep telling you to just destroy all those things you've captured and be done with it. Even if they're not dangerous individually, there's no telling what someone with access to magic like what exists here in Equestria can do if they gained control of enough of Jenova's remaining cells.”
“Dreamer... it is not that simple.” Princess Luna argues, returning to her hooves, stepping out in front of the bed to face me. “Even beyond your own infection, there is no method of knowing of how deep the tendrils of the creature's influence dug before it was defeated. We hunt as We are able, but yet, We must have a solution that does not involve killing. If We uncover a pony that has its touch but yet lives, should We just extinguish it as well?”
I stand as well, my temper rising. I can understand her concern, but... “If it's so important, then test your methods of killing off only the pieces of Jenova on me, then!”
Her eyes narrow, clearly ready to give a biting reply of her own, but instead she sighs, tension visibly releasing from her body as she meets my eyes again. “Do you wish me to speak frankly?”
No 'Royal We'? I have enough experience with certain other ponies dropping certain other speaking eccentricities to know this is a terrible sign. “Go ahead.”
“We've considered your idea before. However...” She turns away, taking a few steps toward the door before finally turning back to me. “The reality is, your body does not heal of its own accord. Your infection spreads and you grow weaker as days pass. Am I wrong?”
“What are you getting at?”
“What I am 'getting at',” she replies, without hesitating, “is that we do not truly know how long you can survive in this state, especially as a subject of a constant magical probing that may agitate your infection further.”
“So you're saying he might die, then?” Trixie asks, her voice quiet and drained.
“It is not what any of us wish to see, but it is the reality we must be aware of.” The Princess replies as I sit back down on the bed next to Trixie. “If there are no other subjects in such an event, we will be helpless in our ability to develop a magic that can directly counter the spread of the creature's presence.”
It's my turn to sigh, now. On one hand, especially after tonight, with the current tug in my chest, I can't accept that the risk of keeping so many remnants of Jenova in one place is acceptable. On the other, its hard to think of a compelling counterargument to Luna's case. She's thinking further ahead, more worried about the ability to help others while I'm more concerned with essentially cutting off a gangrenous limb. Cadance's concerns yesterday were pretty similar. Are they too being too compassionate, or maybe, have I just become too cold-hearted?
“I still don't like it.” I break the silence that'd settled over us during my moment of mental self-sparring, still feeling compelled to protest but still having no better reply.
“Do not worry,” Princess Luna says reassuringly, “with the discovery that another presence in Equestria is now agitating the cells of the creature, I will not hesitate to be rid of them if I deem the threat beyond acceptable limits. I am not so foolhardy as to not understand the risk of such creatures free again upon the world, and under another's organized control.”
“I hope so.”
“However, you've yet to tell Us the contents of your dream itself, dreamer.”
I shrug. “You technically never asked.”
“Now is not the time for coyness.” She replies tersely.
“Right...” I take a moment, setting aside all our talks of Jenova to try and recall my dream again. “I remember these... eyes. They were striking and green. Glowing with magic, maybe, with these slit-like, red irises. Everything was cold, and dark. There were also lots of crystals, like from the Crystal Caves, but there was also a blizzard of some kind.”
“That's all?” She asks after a moment.
“Yeah.” I confirm for her. “It was all really vivid, but that was all that happened during it.”
She nods, turning for the door, looking back at us over her shoulder. “Get some rest. We will do Our part to see your dream is not intruded on again tonight. Goodnight.” With that, the door handle clicks in her magical grasp, the door cracking open enough for her to walk through, before gently closing itself again.
I flop back onto the bed, letting my arms sprawl out on either side of me. “What a mess...”
“Dusk...” Trixie says from beside me, her voice still quiet.
“Hm?” I turn my head to face her, to find she's looking out the window, face framed in moonlight.
“It's... I don't know.”
“You're letting what Princess Luna was talking about bother you, aren't you?”
She breaks her gaze away from the window, her eyes meeting mine. “...Maybe.”
“Don't.” I say, turning my eyes from her to the ceiling. “She didn't say anything we weren't already aware of. Besides, Princess Cadance's treatment seems to at least slow it down some. As long as we can keep up with those, things should be okay, Trixie.”
“Even so...” I feel her weight flop against the bed as well.
“Hey. I'm supposed to be the one who worries over everything.” I turn my head to her with a playful smirk. “I don't appreciate this role-reversal.”
“Sorry.” She replies, forgoing her usual sarcasm. “I just feel so helpless. Princess Cadance and Princess Luna are doing what they can, but now that you're the one who needs help, I can't do anything.” She sighs wistfully, eyes turning to look back out the window. “If I still had my horn, maybe I could help them somehow.”
“Trixie...” Her horn... it's the first time she's mentioned it since the night she filed the jagged pieces away.
“I know. Based on what everypony's said, I wouldn't actually be able to do much of anything even if I had it, but I'd at least be able to try.” She looks down to her hooves, drawing one of them across the blanket in idle circles. She goes silent for a time, but I don't know what to say. I should tell her not to let herself feel so guilty, but for some reason, the words won't form. It feels like my own guilt over her condition is a weight against my throat. Mercifully, she breaks the silence after a while. “I should have just asked Twilight Sparkle to help me.”
“What?” I ask, confused.
“At the Ghastly Gorge,” she clarifies, “Twilight Sparkle saw what was going to happen with my horn. She tried to stop me. If I'd asked, I'm sure she probably already had a plan in mind to help. We both know that's how Twilight is.”
“I can't argue that.”
“But... I didn't want her help. I didn't want to stop.” She turns her head to face me again. “I know that probably doesn't sound all that surprising in itself, but it's not how you think, either.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, turning my own head to meet hers.
“Everyone thinks I did some big, noble thing, but the truth is a lot more petty than that.” She swallows and takes a steadying breath. “...Really, I was just running away from myself. You know how my state of mind was back then, by this point. I'll be surprised if you never suspected it yourself.”
“I... what do you mean, Trixie?”
“Ah... alright, Dusk. Just don't be too disappointed in me.” She says, turning back to the window. “The real reason I didn't ask Twilight Sparkle for help back then had nothing to do with my pride or anything else. When I felt that first crack in my horn, a lot of thoughts went through my mind at once, too many for me to really describe here. I was scared, as well as many other things, sure, but... in the end, one thought stuck in my mind.
“If my horn shattered, I'd never be able to perform again. It'd be the death of The Great and Powerful Trixie.”
She falls silent after that, but there's nothing more that needs to be said. Between the talk we had in Canterlot all those days ago, and what she confessed in the chariot ride, I know more than enough to put the rest together for myself. Even so...
“Trixie...” Even with her confession, I still feel that weight on my throat over this topic, unable to shake myself free. No matter how hard I try, I can't get a single question past my lips – Why? Why did she think that was a good idea?
“But, even still, I don't regret it, you know?” She continues, pulling me back from my thoughts. “It was stupid... more than stupid, I know, but I wouldn't change how things have played out since then for anything.” She looks at me, eyes misty, and grins. “Except maybe the part at the end where you're too hardheaded to listen to Princess Luna and get stabbed in the chest. Again. That part's sucked so far.”
I place a hand to my chest, pressing down, biting my lip against the ensuing discomfort. “Yeah, you're telling me.” I return her grin with one of my own. “Then again, without it, you probably wouldn't be so forthcoming, would you?”
She flops onto her side again, looking back out the window. “Who's to say?”
“...Right.”
“Good night, Dusk.”
“...Don't you have your own bed to sleep on?”
She groans. “Its all the way over there and I'm tired.” She yawns. “Too much self-reflection leads to an exhausted Trixie.”
I shake my head, resigning myself. “Good night, Trixie.”