//------------------------------// // Fourth Chapter // Story: Horse of Cards // by Midnight Ice Cream //------------------------------// Fourth Chapter I understand dear reader what your objections are, but what is done is done, and I cannot stress enough how it was my patriotic duty to do it This chapter begins several hours before the arrival of the zebra delegates Lieutenant Sunshine Earthheart: 1st Regiment of Royal Unicorn Guards “Good morning.” Begins Flash Sentry, I hope his briefing is brief. “Okay I don’t need to remind you guys how important it is not to screw up. Now, you all know your places, but I’ll remind you. I will lead the guard of honor as they get off the train. Cloudmist you’ll make sure the skies are clear.” “Sir.” “Alright, as the day progresses they’ll have their meeting, you can guard that Wellbridge.” “Sir.” “And finally there’s gonna be a party, you’ll have duty on that Earthheart. I figured you’d not mind missing it, so you can have the Guard duty.” “Thank you Captain.” “When you are not protecting the delegation, you’ll be on high defense mode. So everyone not protecting the delegation will be on guard duty rather than doing drills. Understood.” “Understood Sir!” We all yell in unison. “Alright then guys, get armored up, and inform your stallions.” ***** I stand atop a watchtower looking down at the train station. Believe me a spot this entertaining was hard to find. The Guard actually looks organised, I’m impressed. The so called Zebras leave the train, and formally greet all four princesses. Oh how delightful. I shall have to leave you now, forgive me for my childish giggles. I shall see you at the party. Her Royal Highness Princess Luna Princess of the Night I stand by my sister, Twilight, and Cadence at the train station flanked on both sides by Celestia’s Royal Guards. It would seem as if the Zebra train is a tad late, but alas I’m used to waiting. “I wonder what’s wrong?” Twilight asks. “I should doubt it’s anything important.” Says Celestia. “Probably just a minor technical issue.” “I guess that would make sense.” An hour later and we are all rather confused. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about though. Well it turns out I was right, because within five minutes we hear the whistle of the train in the distance, and within another two the train has stopped with a hiss. A moment passes as the zebra delegation steps out. One of them is dressed in some rather interesting royal regalia. The rest of the zebras stand behind him, as he walks towards us. “For our lateness we apologise, not considering delays was quite unwise. Herds of buffalo are quite a pain, I’m sure you have been through the same.” “Indeed Your Majesty. I hope your trip was pleasant?” Sister asks. “To complain, would cause me shame. Your courtesy is your majesty. The friendly that you have shown, may lead me to keep my throne.” “Why thank you.” Twilight smiles. “But I did not come to exchange pleasantries, my people confront many miseries. So please if we may, could we get to the purpose of our brief stay?” “Of course, if you would please come this way?” We walk towards the castle, on each side of us the city is decorated with banners from both Equestria and Zebraland everywhere. “Your reception is impressive, I hope that’s a sign that you will help deal with issues most sensitive.” “Welcome to Canterlot Your Majesty.” Says Twilight. “We’ll do our best.” Before long we are sat in a meeting room, with four ponies on one side and five zebras on the other. “Before we begin is there anything we can get you? We have prepared traditional zebra foods for the party later, on and we have a wonderful chef on standby, or is there any drink we might be able to offer?” Celestia starts. “None for me if you will, if I eat much more I’ll be ill.” Says The King. “But if you would, a glass of cold lemonade would be good.” “And everyone else?” It did not take long for drinks to appear at the sides of the ponies and the zebras. We make some smalltalk, and a few introductory comments. The King himself however becomes impatient and begins. “We thank you for such hospitality, but by my mentality, we have issues to discuss, none of which are addressed by us. So if I may begin, you would not know the terrors my country has been put in. My uncle’s lust for power, shall shower, us in grief for that thief attempts to steal my crown, we desire to make that bastard drown. But we hear of the pony ways to deal with conflict, might very well do the trick.” Twilight is the first to address The King. “I don’t think that it’ll be a very difficult issue to deal with. Me and my friends should go over there, and then we’ll try to help reach a compromise. I think it’s important to talk to your uncle.” “My uncle desires a crown, even if he turns the kingdom upside down. I have tried to talk, but away he walks.” “Well I’m sure it can all be resolved with friendship…” We spent several hours in that room talking about the uncle. As the meeting continues The King tells us of his evils and how he alone is responsible for so much of their ills. We try to see from both sides, but are clearly not being given true informations. We tried our best though. Well I say we, I mean Twilight and Celestia. Cadence and I seemed about as useless as the other zebra diplomats. Who would have thought that friendship missions would have gotten so complicated and formal? Again I’m left feeling utterly useless after this whole thing. After it’s over there’s only one thing that crosses my mind. I really need a good drink. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, especially after politics. It seems as if I am becoming even more redundant. Celestia seemed to manage everything well on her own, but now with Twilight at her side there’s nothing that I do anymore. Cadence does her thing in the Crystal Empire, so I’m just left alone and redundant. Not that I want to rule anyway. I’ve thought about it, there’s a reason I don’t rule, I don’t want to, and I’d be no good at it. I just want peace, quiet and comfort. Maybe sometimes I can help out poor colts and fillies with nightmares. Well may as well head to the party place, get drunk, but still be there. Wouldn’t want to be rude now, would I? Urgh. I believe there are quite a few ponies going to be here, and a few zebras too. This is going to be loud I can feel it, if I hear any more of that nonsense music I will, well, be rather annoyed. I am rather annoyed. May as well go to the bar then. Wait, is that Sparkling Soda? Interesting, nice to see her as the barmaid. Then again, why would she want to serve us? She’s a far better pony make no mistake. Well, may as well see how she’s doing. Last time I talked to Sparkling Soda she seemed happy, so I left. I’d check in on her dreams from time to time, but her new parents turned out well for her, and there are plenty of other colts and fillies for me to help out, so I’m rather out of touch. Sparkling Soda Well if it isn’t the largest collection of despicable ponies I’ve seen in a while. Remind me Sparkling, why do I work for them? We’ve got aristos, okay in fairness some of them are alright, can’t fault Earthheart. What else? A bunch of zebras, who just want to let their king keep his crown. Celestia who’s going to ruin this kingdom, Cadence who shouldn’t even be here, Twilight Sparkle a Celestia wannabe, and Luna who in fairness tries, so her failures feel even worse because at least the poor princess means well. Also Luna did help me out in fairness. So maybe I judged a bit too harshly. You know what Sparkling, you should be less cynical. Maybe, just maybe this is a sign that things are going to improve. Maybe, just maybe they’re going to improve someone’s life with this. One can only hope. With this thought of optimism clinging to my brain like an unwelcome guest I muster a genuine smile as a disgruntled looking Princess Luna plops herself at my bar. “Good evening Highness. What can I get you?” “Hello Sparkling. How are you? I’ll have something strong.” “Tough day?” “You can say that again…” I pass her a drink. “Thanks.” She drinks the whole cocktail in one go. “Stronger. Urgh, I wish this music would shut up.” I pour her some straight vodka, which she downs three shots of before talking. “Could you explain the appeal of this music?” “I don’t really think so Your Highness. If it doesn’t appeal to you, I doubt it ever will.” Princess Luna grunts. “I suppose. I wish it’d shut up though.” She sighs. “I think I’ll stay here for another hour or so, then I’m leaving.” “Fair enough Highness." There is an awkward pause that I fill by asking her about her problems. “So how did those negotiations go?” “Well, to complain would be selfish of me. I hope that we get peace over there.” Yea, but she does want to complain doesn't she? “I hope so too Highness, do you think it’ll work out?” “I don’t know. Anything could happen really. Twilight will probably go over there and solve it though.” “I hope so, the zebras deserve better.” “You’re right, I just wish-” Here it comes. “Highness?” “Nevermind. Another glass.” “Are you sure?” “Don’t question me.” “Of course Your Highness.” I pour her another shot, which she glugs with gusto. “So what’s got you down?” “Would it be rude to tell you that’s none of your business?” I know, but do I care? “Not at all Your Highness. You just seem really down.” To be fair it is quite sad watching her, one can't help but feel slightly sorry. “Another.” I pour her a glass. “I’m not in the best of spirits, that’s true, but there’s no need to worry about me young Sparkling.” “I hope not Highness. You don’t seem in the best of spirits though? Are you sure you’d rather not leave now? This doesn’t seem to be your kind of thing.” “Politics demands I stay for a while. Urgh, I hate politics.” She's not wrong, but I can't really admit that can I? “I can imagine Your Highness. But surely it’s necessary for the benefit of Equestria.” “Something like that…” “Highness, why do you feel so negative about it?” Luna sighs, “I just don’t feel as if I contribute anything. Celestia and Twilight do all the work. Rightfully so of course, I will admit however that it does nill to thy self esteem.” I pick up her shot glasses, and begin to clean them. “Why do you think that?” “Didn’t you hear? I do nothing!” She plants her head on the table. “You’d not understand…” “Well, if you want I’ll listen.” “Thank you. It’s just that, I feel useless. This meeting was a good example of that, I did nothing of value. I just sat there. Day after day it happens. I never get to do anything for good.” Oh poor thing, she really does mean well, that's the sad thing. “If it's any consolation you were good to me when Dad died. I’m sure you help plenty of ponies.” “Thank you.” Well isn’t this strange? Having to play therapist to a princess. Bloody hell, never thought I’d be the one to do this. Almost makes me feel like her back in the day. Funny thing is, I’ve never felt as if the princesses would be like this, just so pony. Proves how flawed they are really. Lieutenant Sunshine Earthheart: 1st Regiment of Royal Unicorn Guards Ah good evening again. Strangely I am rather enjoying it. Then again, I suppose anticipation is something one enjoys. I’m standing in the doorway of the party hall. I’m not having the best of fun with the music, alas that’s not my chief concern right now. There’s a mixture of ponies and “zebras” either dancing, or having drinks with each other. I dare say that Pinkie Pie has outdone herself on this one. I didn’t know the rumours about her would be this true. Who me? Ohhhh AWESOME! I’m narrating this story now! No Pinkie you’re not. But it’s a Party and I’m the best party pony, and I think it’s something I should narrate! It would be so awesome if I was the one narrating the party don’t you think it would be better than that time I had that party to celebrate Rainbow Dash’s birthday, but really who could beat that? A thousand and one things, most of which not involving your narration. Awww come on you party pooper! Wouldn’t it just be really really awesome to let me narrate for a change? I mean you’re just so slow and boring. Well I never, there’s no need to be rude about it. Sorry, but can I pleaaaaaaasee narrate? If I let you narrate, will you promise to go away soon? I Pinkie Promise! Who would have thought that I’d need to battle for narration within my own slot? Fine, narrate it. Well the zebras came in, and it was really super duper awesome since I’ve only ever seen one zebra before. And then we got out looooooooaaaaads of Cider, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash were drinking. Then Twilight joined in and fainted on the floor, I rolled over laughing so hard! It was her first time drinking, and she toootaallly only did it to impress Flash Sentry!! It was so amazing! Then Rarity was drinking wine and pretending it didn’t affect her, when it really reaaaaaally did. She even hugged you Sunshine. You don’t have to remind me of that Pinkie. Dare I say it was rather rude? It was supper funny you were like all serious and she tried to kiss you but you couldn’t move because you’re a guard. If I was a guard I’d just fall down laughing. Oh oh and then your brown pegasus guard squealed because of Rainbow Dash, and you looked very angry. You even send him and his stallions to the bar to make sure nopony got that drunk again. You’re silly! Well isn’t there a good reason behind that eh? Oh and then Fluttershy- Oh nevermind. Fluttershy didn’t like the noise so she went to the zebra train to look at their gift animals, and she’s not arrived back. I hope she’s playing hide and seek, that would be super awesome. And then I took some totally really strong sugar and that made me feel really really amazing. And then you collapsed on the floor with all legs in the air, the only sign of life being a slight twitch in your back leg. But well done Pinkie Pie, you did make me smile. It would seem by the looks of it, that I’d not be the only one to find it funny, but the others are slightly more vocal in doing so. I hope something like that never happens again. I rather like the fourth wall. It’s comfortable. Still, I believe it proves my theory about party ponies. If my theory is correct party ponies can break the fourth wall at will. It would suggest that we’re a separate species. And yes, I do say we, my mother was a party pony, or so I believe. It would make sense that those traits are hereditary. So think of this what you will, but I believe myself to be a party pony. Even if I am the one who organised the demise of this one. Oh, please. How many times do I have to tell you that my intentions are pure? I shan’t repeat myself again. Just allow me to prove you wrong. Oh and I do apologise to those who understand my motivations, but sadly I can only address you as a collective. Wish me luck ladies and gentlemen. What you are about to see is going to be interesting.