Why me?

by Miner


Why can't I just get a break?

It’s morning now, around 8, if the view from my window is any indication. I am filled with the sense of relief of having a peaceful time waking up and not having to worry about my safety.

For once.

Not long after I woke up Pinkie returned with the ponies from last night and started the party all over again. I tried to reason with her that it was still too early for such things, but she insisted. Pinkie’s party was alright all things considered, however it ended rather quickly when my nurse Redheart came into the room. I found out her name when the ponies in the room suddenly turned around and said her name before running everywhere in a panic. I had no idea that ponies could clear out in such a small room so fast. I also remember seeing something funny though. During the chaos, about three or four ponies tried to escape through the same window next to my bed and got stuck until another one ran into them freeing them. It still cracks me up. As for the gift they brought me. Nurse Redheart let me keep them with me, but I did lose the cake. Something about it is not healthy for me right now. Dumb hospital rules, I want my cake.

The presents were moved over to the right of my bed and had to separate them into two piles ‘what I know and don’t know'. I wasn’t sure what to do with them, considering I had no idea how to use most of them with these hooves of mine. I mean how does a pony even brush themselves, without turning into a pretzel? On another note, remember the time when I said leaves were tasty. Well, I take that back. They are the worst thing to ever grow underneath the sun. This salad is horrible.

“Leave it to the hospitals to turn a tasty treat into last week's coleslaw,” I said pushing the tray away from me. “I am not eating this.” But then again there is not a trash can here. Weird. Where did they expect me to leave my trash then? I the corner somewhere? Or am I expected for Redheart to take care of that? At any rate, I can’t just leave this here. They will think I am neglecting my health by not eating right.

“What to do?” I then noticed that the window from the sudden escape earlier was still open. Making sure no pony was looking or nearby. I then toss my toxic waste outside while keeping the tray. I got the hang of using my hooves for strange tasks such as these, all I have to do is not think too hard about it and it will happen. But I still have trouble holding onto something when I want to. How in the world am I going to brush my hair then?

*Splat*

“AAAGGGHHH! It has got me!” Somepony outside screamed. I closed the window quickly before anything else happened. If anypony asks I was in the restroom the whole time. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

Speaking of restrooms, I need to use one. But I can’t use one right now with the way my butt is right now. Where’s that nurse call button when you need it? Because I don’t see it anywhere. Oh well, at least the hospital staff can’t be that far away from my room.

“Hello! Nurse, Doc, Somepony! I need a little help over here!” It didn’t take long for Nurse Red Heart to show up.

“What seems to be the problem, Dearie?” She is a white pony with a light pink mane. She also has a little white hat on her head with a red cross on it. Cute. She seems to be a nice pony. I still have no idea why everypony ran away from her. But that is something else for another day. Maybe I should give her one of these gifts. But first things first.

“I need to use the restroom,” I said while squirming a little in my bed.

“OK then. One moment, while I go get your bedpan.” She said as she made her way to the closet nearby.

“Wait! Bedpans?! No way. Not happening." I am not going to use that. That is something only old people would use when they can’t get out of bed.

But she doesn't mean to be bothered by my statement and looks back at me, "Miss Jessica. Your injuries on your flank have made you incapable of using a restroom normally. It is far too difficult in your condition. Until your injuries recover more and as your nurse, I insist that you use this bedpan." She said as she brought the pan next to me.

I look at it before looking at her. "Do I have to?”

“If you need to go. Then yes.”

“Ok, then I guess if I have no choice then." I'm going to kill Rainbow once I get out of here! "I do need to go.”

"Okay give me a second to get your bedpan in position." I can’t believe I am going to have to use this. I was hoping for a modified version of a toilet, for me to use, not this. However, if there is one thing, I have learned in life is that you don’t argue with the one that is helping you. Or was it you don’t bite the hand that feeds you? I am not sure. Anyways I don’t care anymore because I need to go.

However, right in the middle of my private time. I get the feeling that this hospital is understaffed. Not because that Red Heart is the only nurse I have seen since I got here. Or the fact that this place is so quiet I could hear a pin drop. But I am sure that every hospital has a front desk person. You know the one who would be at the front desk of the hospital to greet everyone who is coming in or out of the hospital and lets you know when visiting hours are over. Who, in turn, would have told anypony who wanted to pay a visit. To wait and see if it's ok to visit.

They should have been the ones to tell Exclusive here, who so happens to walk into my room with no pony trying to stop him, to wait until the nurses are done helping the patients. Did I mention I was still using the bedpan when he came into my room? Because I still am! In fear and embarrassment, I let him know the errors of his ways with a pillow to the face.

“AH EXCLUSIVE A LITTLE PRIVACY!” I screamed while blushing like mad.

“SORRY!” he said with a quick U-turn out of the room with Nurse Red Heart Right behind him. She closes the door behind them as she eats Exclusive’s ear off in a calm way. Somehow it was more frightening than her yelling at him. I think I am beginning to understand why those ponies were in such a hurry to run away.

In any case, why don’t these rooms have locks on them?! “Oh, how embarrassing.” I groan to myself rubbing my face with my hooves. I hoped he didn’t see much. I am never going to be feeling safe using the bathroom again. Speaking of which, I might as well finish what I was doing. While relieving myself I saw something on the floor near the door. I am not sure if they are from Exclusive or from one of the party ponies earlier. Either way, I am left with a new thought in mind “I wonder what roses taste like?” I can see a dozen roses tied nicely in a yellow ribbon just lying there on the floor. Now that I am a pony it is only fair that I can try and eat roses instead of smelling them. Once I was done doing my duty. I decided to save Exclusive from my bodyguard. “Nurse Red Heart. I am done in here.”

“Okay, I will be right there. And YOU MR. Wait out here until I say otherwise UNDERSTAND!?” Whoa, now I feel sorry for Exclusive for getting on her bad side. Not really, he deserves it. Redheart closes the door behind her as she enters the room. “I must again apologize for the rude interruption earlier by that stallion. Nothing like this has ever happened before Miss.”

“Oh, it's ok he's a friend. Besides I don’t think he saw much anyway.”

“Regardless it is not polite to enter a mare’s room unannounced. Especially when she is in a compromising position as yourself.”

“Noted.” She helps me with cleaning my behind and taking my pan away. I always had respect for nurses. I could never do what they do daily without throwing up my whole shift. Once I was all clean up. I noticed that Exclusive was nowhere to be found. I guess after that little episode. He decided that now wasn't a good time to see me. Maybe he will come back lat- hold the phone. Am I looking forward to seeing that stallion again?! What is wrong with ME? There is no way that Jessica is falling for a pony. We just met. How can there be any chemistry between us? Oh, wait know how. I face hoofed. I forgot that my parents got married after their first date. So, whatever made that happen might have been transferred to me. Great. I am too easy for my good. Wait if that was the case how come I never had a boyfriend then?

Nothing exciting happened until two hours later. When somepony was knocking at the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me Exclusive."

"Come on in." He had a smile on his face, but I met him with a frown. I knew what he was going to say so I decided to beat him to the punch.

“What happened earlier never happened Exclusive, so what do you want.” That seemed to surprise him before he decided to talk.

“I came to give you this.” He then levitates a small box towards me. “It’s a potion that’s help restore cut-off mane and tails to their formal glory.” He said as I opened the box revealing the blue liquid in a bottle.

I know most people would think this is a joke, or it's too good to be true and would refuse it right away. But when you wake up in a land of magical talking ponies you find out that you are one yourself. You just have to roll with it and believe that some things are just possible here. On that note, I am now convinced that I am no longer on earth anymore. Well with the colors of the forest, the Timberwolves, the unicorns, Pegasus, the laws of physics not working correctly. There is only so much one can justify before giving up. I am going to have to make do with my current situation and somehow some way find a way home. If that is even an option anymore.

Drinking the potion reminds me of grape juice. I felt a tingle on the backside of my neck, and where my tail would be. In less than a second, they came back like they never left. I give my new hair a quick brush over with my hooves. I am not sure if I should kill him for the horrible aftertaste or kiss him for giving me back my mane and tail. Wait did I just say kiss? Bad brain! Oh, what is wrong with me?!

“Thank you Exclusive.” I put the vail back in the box and he moves it to the side, “So how are you doing today.”

“The better question is how are you doing Miss Jessica?”

“Huh! What do you mean?” I said tilting my head.

He then makes his way to the side of my bed. “Well, you were ponynapped, bitten by a Timberwolf, and then sent to the hospital all in one day. I know I am not going to be feeling safe around my house again anytime soon. But I was just wondering if you are alright?” Well, at least he is honest.

“I am doing alright, even with everything that has happened so far.” I chucked a little at that.

“Indeed, that is very good. I can also see that the potion did its job as well.” He said gesturing to my now visible mane.

“Yes, it did but what about you? Didn’t you get one for yourself?” I said finally taking notice that he was wearing a blue cloak.

“Unfortunately, no. Zecora only had enough for one batch. So, I need to wait until she has a chance to get more supplies for one.” He said with a little sad tone of voice.

“Gee that must stink,” I said shaking my head. “By the way. How are the other ponies doing? You know the ones we rescued from the mine.”

“Well, most of them are doing alright. Derpy wanted to see you but had to go to work, unfortunately.”

“Oh well. At least they are all right now. By the way, whatever happened to Rainbow?”

“Ah yes, Rainbow. I haven’t seen them since she left us last night, but I do believe she went to see Twilight.” There’s that name again.

“Who is this Twilight I keep hearing about? Is she somepony important around here?” I would like to know. I hate being left in the dark. And I mean in both tenses.

“That’s right. You said you were from out of Ponyville. But I thought that everypony would have heard about Princess Twilight Sparkles, The Princess of Friendship.”

....
...
..

She's a WHAT!

"There’s a Real Princess here!” I didn’t think there was any form of government here, let alone royalty.

“Why yes, Twilight is a very nice mare, although she could use a stallion in her life. She’s always so busy saving somepony or researching something. She needs to get out more without working on something.”

“Sounds like she needs some friends. Wait didn’t you say she’s The Princess of Friendship? Why doesn’t she just make some friends that do a little paring now and then? That should do the trick.”

“That would make sense. If she hasn’t already done that. She's friends with Pinkie Pie, need I say more?”

“Well, I didn’t see that coming. And no, no you don’t. So, what does she do around here exactly? I don’t see her doing much from what you are telling me?” Besides making Friends.

“Well, you can ask her yourself later. I heard she was coming over later to see you.” He said taking a seat on the chair near the bed.

“See me? Why? Was it because of the Diamonds dogs or just to see how I was doing? Because I find it odd that somepony as important as Twilight would come to see me out of the blue like this."

“Probably the latter. She’s nice that way.”

I am starting to like her already, but…“So, do I need to bow to her when she comes in because I can’t do that right now,” I said gesturing to my flank.

“Probably not she’s not that formal of a Princess. Just talk to her like you would to anypony else.”

OK, now I like her. "Thanks for the advice Exclusive.” I was going to say more before some random stallion came into the room panting out of breath.

This one was orange with a blonde man wearing a cowboy hat and a brown vest. I am getting tired of all these interruptions. Before we could say anything, the stallion looked at my guest and said.

“Exclusive your House is on fire!”

Oh, come on! It is just one thing after another around here.

“What… but I… Pony feathers. Sorry, Jessica, but I got to go. Good luck with the princess. I will be back later.” And with that, I was all alone again. Great!

“Why can’t I just have a normal day?!” I said rubbing my hooves to my face.