Fluttershy cuddled up next to Trey as he picked up a relatively old journal.
“Now, this starts shortly before I got here...and has continued through all of the big events in our life.” he said, slyly nudging a diamond ring around Fluttershy’s hoof. She smiled, looking at him with those large, blue eyes, encouraging him to continue. He grinned, opening one.
“Now, before I begin, I just want to say that you’re the first pony I’ve ever trusted enough to share this with.” he said, hugging her tight. “I love you.”
Fluttershy rested her head against Trey’s shoulder, nuzzling against him.
“I love you too.” she said.
“Well...here goes nothing.”
Well, I decided to keep a diary recently. A lot of things have been going on recently that have left me a bit boggled.
First things first, though, I’ve been doing well. I know I didn’t mention it, but I got accepted to Canterlot University, studying music. Apparently my works in composition have caught the eye of the princess. That’s just what I’ve heard though. I refuse to believe it. I’m not that good. My pieces were crap. Then again, that’s what I think about everything concerned with myself. Celestia herself wouldn’t contact a simple student like me though. It’s my senior year, not like I’ve got any more to prove to the world, to Equestria. I just want to teach little foals about music. That’s it.
Well, things got a little weird, too. So there’s this mare, Fleur Bouquet, that’s started paying attention to me. I know I’m hot and all, (Yeah right) but she’s paying a little too much attention, if anything. I’m not attractive at all, and she seems to hover around me like she finds the opposite true. Not a creepy kind of hanging, though. I’ll look into it. Maybe see if she wants to grab lunch sometime. Not expecting her to say yes, but, hey, gotta try. Can’t fail if you don’t try though.
Well, anyways, I’d better get to bed. Got a class in 6 hours but opted to stay up writing instead.
Trey
Well things have gotten a little weird recently. Remember when I said there’s been word that Celestia’s taken interest in my works? Yeah, turns out there was a small amount of validity. I got a letter from the princess herself saying one of my works, “New beginnings” is being entered in some sort of contest. Apparently it’s some sort of special deal they have up here. Not sure what it is or what I could possibly win (Not that it will happen.) but, hey, something’s getting a little recognition. Might as well live my 15 seconds of fame.
Meanwhile, Fleur and I had lunch together. Nothing fancy, just one of the restaurants in the college. She and I had a fairly good conversation. I can honestly say that after talking to her and getting to know her for a bit, I kinda like her. Of course, there’s no way things would work out. Frankly, I’m just not the kind of colt ladies fall all over for. Never had a fillyfriend in high school, why would college be any different? Sigh...I’m not meant for romance it seems. Oh well. It’s nice to have a friend at least. I’ve been sort of alone in that aspect for a long time as well. Middle school didn’t treat me kindly, so I just stopped sensing the importance of companions, I guess. Somehow I feel that possibly there were ponies who wanted to be my friend, but I was kind of blind to that possibility. Maybe I’m just thinking too negatively though. Then again, do I ever not?
Trey
Huh. Well Apparently my composition is in the final round of that competition. I don’t know much more than that other than that there’s a meeting. Gotta go and listen to other compositions. I heard that we may have to make another one. Honestly, I don’t know if I can create anything as good as “New Beginnings”. I really don’t like to point out good things in myself, but I do really like that piece. I feel it accurate portrays musically what I wish to happen. I wish to start over with my life, Have a New Beginning...sadly, some things will never be fixed. I guess music is my alternate reality. I slip there, in a place where I can be at peace, where nothing can hurt me...listening to classics. Timeless music. At least something to forget my dismal life here.
Fleur and I met up for lunch again. Now we’re going to try and meet up for breakfast, too. Have our own little Breakfast club. I guess it’d be nice to meet somepony on a regular basis. Who knows, maybe if I play my cards right, I could potentially turn this friendship into something more. But, I don’t want to get too high-headed. When you feel good, something’s bound to go wrong. So just try to carry a neutral emotion. It works for me anyway.
And who’s the being that came up with that “If I play my cards right” phrase? It had to have been a Dragon or a Griffon. Ponies can’t really hold cards very well. That’s a spiel for another time. It’s getting late. I have a breakfast date tomorrow, anyway.
Contest enterer,
Trey
Well, things have taken a turn for the interesting once again.
My breakfast date went over fine, I think. Nothing too special. We’re probably going to meet up for lunch again. I may try and ask her to a movie. Seems a little risky for me, though.
But back to the point, Celestia has asked to see all of the contest contestants (alliteration, much?) for a dinner with her. Dinner with the princess herself? That’s not a bad deal, actually. Course, I’ll probably remain quiet so I can avoid saying something that would mess it all up. “Something’s gotta go wrong, cause I’m feeling way too damn good.” as somepony said years ago. Maybe I’m being too pessimistic, though. I’ll write later,after the dinner.
***
Well the dinner didn’t go over too bad, actually. Celestia seemed to take a liking to me for some reason. Maybe I’m misreading social ques though. That tends to happen a lot. Anyway, we listened to everypony’s compositions, and I must say, I have some pretty stiff composition. Somepony put something in 6/8, my favorite time signature, then switched minor and major modes. His piece almost sounded like some sort of exotic dance, from the land where Zebras come from.
Another piece sounded kind of like mine, in the sense that it was a slow, reflective piece. He maintained that slow tempo, though. He had some nice progressions, and his piece may have been my favorite.
Then there was my piece, which seemed to have everypony there nodding in appreciation. After the slow ballad, I switch to some lighthearted banter, much like the other pony’s piece. Then we go back to solemn. I felt it was a pretty good representation of reflecting on life. Given the reaction, the other ponies though so too.
One of the other ponies asked what sort of prize we could win. Celestia didn’t really specify, but said that it would definitely be worth it. She smiled and looked at me as she said it, though. I don’t think the other ponies caught it, but I noticed. Not sure if foreshadowing or firm admiration at your favorite colt’s handsome body...yeah no.
Anyways, off again to bed and other assorted activities. Going to do what I always do and dream of some sort of romantic image before bed. Might as well picture Fleur, since she’s the only mare I really know here. Thinking of Celestia would just be wrong.
Trey
Well, I know it’s been a while since my last entry. Hard to tell since I don’t date my entries, but let me tell you what’s been going on.
So I won the composition contest a few days ago. My piece is going to be played by a professional orchestra, the Canterlot Royal Music Orchestra, only the best around. Honestly, I feel honored. But the best part is, Celestia said that that wasn’t even all the winner would receive. Not sure what else I could want, though. My piece played for all Equestria by the best chamber ensemble around? Sounds like all I need, if you ask me. I honestly don’t even care about getting paid for my work. I did my piece for the world, not for money. But as a broke, starving college student, I guess I’d need it, too.
Meanwhile, Fleur and I have had several dates. This is the strange part, and it may sound a little unbelievable, but bear with me. So after I took Fleur to the movies Saturday, after the hoofball game (Which we managed to pull off in overtime) she invited me back to her place (that’s not the most shocking part.). I don’t know if she suddenly got possessed by Nightmare Moon or something, but she invited a few friends over to watch her favorite movie. Afterwards, they all left. Then her possessed soul came into play and she invited me to spend the night. I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel, honestly. It’s not every day that some attractive filly you’re not dating invites you to spend the night. The most awkward part is, she got tired and we both wound up sleeping in the same bed. So I have conflicting emotions going on here. There’s the rational pony in me that says that this means nothing and that she’s just really that kind of mare. Absolutely nothing will come of this, that I should just fall asleep and forget about it.
Then there’s the hopeless romantic in me that sees this as a potential sign. This could mean something. That’s the part that kept me awake. Almost like a creeper, I just stayed up, watching her rhythmic breathing, noticing how nice her mane smelled, how soft her coat is...and the fact that she wanted to cuddle up even closer just agitated these emotions. We’re both facing the same direction, and I’ve already got my arm under her head. Still, she scoots back, putting her flank dangerously close to my “Danger Zone” as I’m going to call it. She honestly just put it right against it. In an awkward attempt at whatever sort of emotion I was feeling, I awkwardly moved my hips back, relieving that possibility of something going haywire with the danger zone. She’s attractive, I have to take that into consideration.
After a little bit, she flips sides, facing me. Of course, fillies just look cute when they sleep, and she’s no exception. Once again, what would be considered creepy in today’s society, I just stayed up and admired her. Rhythmic breathing, cute face, soft coat...all the small things I admire in a mare that seem to go unnoticed with other ponies. The romantic in me so desperately wanted to kiss her, or touch her in some fashion, stroke that beautiful face...but the rational, logical pony in me knew better. I have no hope of being with her. Why should I ever try?
After serious debate, I made a little bit of a move for myself. I took my free hoof and lightly touched her cheek. Not enough for her to wake up, but just enough for me to notice just how attractive and how amazing simply touching a pony can be. Seems like today’s society overlooks the small things and jumps right into larger commitments. It bothers me.
Anyways, after falling asleep and waking up multiple times, at around 4 AM (Let me note that her roommate had gone home for the weekend) we both happened to be awake at the same time. I don’t remember how exactly it started, but when we both woke up, our faces were rather close to each other. I immediately backed off a little. She then started talking to me. Of course, I replied, but since I felt like I had morning breath, I aimed my mouth away. Gotta make a good impression you know. Somehow, we got on to the topic of kissing. Not exactly sure how the next part played out, but I think I made a joke, in my usual sarcastic tone, about how she could totally go for it and nopony would know the difference. Then,(Whether she was tired, still possessed, or just plain didn’t know better) she actually kissed me. It caught me so horribly off guard that I just sort of stared at her, unsure of what to do. She returned my stare with one of her own, smiling at me. The romantic in me got fed some sort of wildfire, multiple ideas racing through my head about possibilities, the rational pony trying to provide counteractions to those ideas. Conflicting emotions as always.
Of course, since I’m so socially insecure, I actually asked her, and I quote, “So...does this mean I can kiss you, too?” Which sounds horribly stupid, but I couldn’t bring myself to return the favor without some sort of knowledge of if it was fine or not. She replied, “Well, I kissed you. I think that means you can kiss me back.”
The rest of the night was sort of spent with a mixture of sleeping and assorted make out sessions. Much like the ones you’re supposed to have in high school that I missed out on. At some point she told me that I was a really good kisser. I then shocked her by saying that she was literally the only pony I’d ever kissed. Her eyes grew with confusion, swearing that I’d done it before. I had to tell her that she was, indeed, my first kiss. Not truly my first, but she’s the first mare I’d ever REALLY kissed. Winning a bet in high school doesn’t count. By that time, the sun had risen and school needed to start. Yeah, this happened on a school night. Seems pretty terrible for my school life. She told me that if she had known I hadn’t done it before we could totally have been practicing all night. I then left her dorm to get to my early class, leaving me with a bit of confusion. I honestly still debate whether last night actually happened or if I had some sort of realistic hallucination. Whatever the case, it shocked me.
I know this entry’s really long and detailed, but there’s a lot of things I need to get off my chest.
There are just so many conflicting emotions going on inside of me. I know I probably mentioned this earlier, but it’s bothering me. Should I ask her out? That would be a big risk I wouldn’t like to take. Should I ask her back to my place for a night? That still sounds risky. The romantic in me imagines all of these perfect scenarios where things work out, where she and I are dating, I guess. Imagining kissing her in some sort of perfectly romantic way. Sometimes thoughts of making love, which I know is highly improbable. It’s overrated anyway, but I’ll save that spiel for another time. Anyways, the rational pony in me wants to counteract all of those images with realistic scenarios, where taking a risk doesn’t work out, much like I expect. Where she feels sorry later and apologizes saying she lost herself in a moment and just wants to be friends, whatever the case may be. For every thought, there is an equal and opposite thought. My life seems to be flipped upside down for a bit. Only time will tell me what the future has in store. In the meantime, it’s probably best I don’t think about it at all and focus on my school work.
Hoplessly logical,
Trey
Fluttershy moved her head on Trey’s lap, snapping him out of his concentration. She yawned heavily, trying to keep her eyes open. Trey smiled and closed the journal.
“We’ll read more tomorrow night. Sorry for keeping you up so late.” he said, bending over to give her a kiss. Fluttershy smiled, returning the favor, before managing to drag herself under the covers on her side of the bed. Trey followed suit, getting in bed next to her, turning the lights off.
“Flutterheart?”
Fluttershy made a small grunt, too tired to say anything.
“I love you.” he said, snuggling up close to her.
“I love you too.” she managed to say, shortly before passing out. Trey smiled to himself, giving her a kiss on the cheek before he, too, fell asleep, next to the mare he loved so much.