All in all things could have been a whole lot worse.
How do these damn ponies sleep?
Maire was nestled against me with twitching hooves as she mumbled random bits of gibberish under her breath. At some point the unicorn had pulled the blanket over us and thinking I was asleep had erupted into a fit of muffled giggles. Though she was warm in the beginning she was an inferno now. In all retrospect hpwever I naturally ran hot but not like... er, that. I tried to pull an arm away and found her muzzle nipping the make shift scarf on my neck and pulling me back in. Not saying she won the fight but I was far too tired to wrestle the young mare into unconsciousness.
The moon here was beautiful though. Like the one back at home it was large and white, its omnipotence broadcasting its divine light for all to bask in and enjoy. I may not look like it but I swore to myself that deep down I'd have made a fine poet.
"If only I, a lowly Irish bartender with no name and no fortune could be so grossly incandescent as the moon above me. To float high over the eyes of man to look down and smile at all of creation. That would be my deepest wish." Came a whisper that was my on voice but not my own.
Oh that is right creepy.
I leaned up and looked around the room before swinging my feet off the bed to poise myself for a fright and a scream.
Wait why didn't Maire wake up with me?
The answer to my internal question was quickly answered when I turned around to see myself still laying on the bed curled up with the twitchy white horse. Of course the scream I was preparing for managed to escape me like a lobster in a boiling pot.
"Be silent human Killian, thou have no need for fear in this place." Came a voice so soft it could be visually interpreted as silk.
The source of the voice materialized out of the feckin shadows which led to yet again a very unbecoming screech. A deep navy blue alicorn manifested a few feet away from me with a soft smile, her deep blue wings unfurling and curling back into herself as she turned her head to the side while she curtsied. Her mane flowed with the ethereal grace of Celestias but instead of rainbow sherbet this ones mane was soft and filled with twinkling stars from parts unknown.
How do they do that?
"We do so by pulling our front to the ground of course. Unless thou meant our mane in which case it can merely be scratched off as magic."
CAN THE STAR HORSE READ MY MIND?
Her gently smile turned into a frown as her infinitely deep blue eyes rolled in their sockets. A discernible "tsk" could be heard as she trotted over to my side and looked at my and Maires sleeping forms.
"Thou look absolutely adorable when thou slumber. Like a young colt having his first dream." She cooed as she poked the other me in the face.
"Stop that, you'll hurt him... I mean me?"
The whole scenario was screaming "Inception" and I felt my head throb trying to piece together what the bloody hell was happening.
As if to answer my question the entire room focused on a speck of dust and sucked itself into oblivion leaving the alicorn and me in a vast space of utter nothingness.
"A dream. We have brought thou into the dream realm so that we might... converse."
The star maned mare was starting to get on my nerves just a tad. If this was indeed a dream then could I swim in a sea of alcohol?
"It may burn but we do not see why not." The mare whispered as the entire space was suddenly filled with the dark fizzy liquid I had immediately thought of.
It was Guinness. I was standing on a sea of Guinness like an Irish Christ.
I licked my lips and leaped into the air with a victorious cry of jubilation. I'd finally get to live my dream of swimming in sweet sweet nectar, fill myself until I was nothing but a chortling mess of giggles and fits. As I fell down towards my prize however the seen shifted in such a way that I was suddenly overcome with nausea. I fell flat and hard on a wooden floor that seemed all to familiar. It was my old home... It was...
Oh no. Not here.
The mare stood at my side with eyes slowly widening. The room was the kitchen where my ma and pa would often have a meal in peace after I had gone to bed as a small child. Sure enough I saw my father enter the room as he sat on a creaking stool with a long hard sigh. His shaggy oaken hair was tossed carelessly over his shoulders and in his face. Like this he looked near death, tired and sore with only his holy flame to guide him.
A loud clank brought me out of myself and the vision of my father shifted to him slumping over the counter with a half empty bottle next to him.
Gods no pa. Not tonight.
He didn't listen. His sunken green eyes lingered on the bottle as he took another quaff straight from the source.
"Hey dream pony. Take me out of here. Please." I all but whispered as my father took another long drink.
My fists were balled into fists so hard I could feel my nails digging into my palms. I had this dream almost all the time and every time it ended the same way.
"This isn't a dream is it Killian?" The mare whispered as she held her head low.
"No."
My father looked up to where I was standing but his eyes were not on me. His vision was glued to the door that led to my bedroom. and like I had all those years ago I was leaned against the door out of sight and quivering like a scared babe. My father was a drinker but not the kind to hit me or abuse me. Later on in years I could have easily taken him but I never needed to. My father was abusive to only one person and that was himself.
"I don't deserve any of this." Came a low growl behind the bottle.
No pa. Don't do this.
His eyes looked to the walls of the house, checked each plate and every decoration mother had brought with her to make the house a home. I knew what he was seeing because I too had seen what he did then. I wanted to share a drink with him and then throw the damn bottle across the room. I had for years and every time I had this feckin dream the feelings rose anew.
"Human Killian?"
I remained silent as my father placed his head into his hands and wept silently.
"It was the sickness. He always had a smile on; always a stern word or a pissed off rant, he'd joke and dance and make sure everyone who deserved it had a stupid grin on their face." I began as I sat next to him with the "dream" bottle in my hand. "But when he was alone and when ma was working late at the pub this is where he'd be. He'd drink and drink and drink some more until the pain was gone. Feckin fool he was."
The mare lowered her head and turned to the door that my father constantly stared at.
"Thou was a child. Thou saw the darkness in the heart of thine own father at such a young age." She whispered as the sound of the glass hitting the counter caused her to jump.
"I was a man before I could walk. I had to be so my family could survive." I growled.
My face softened, my hands brushing the dreamscape away as I stood up with a sigh and felt the threads of the world I was in bend at my command. It was odd and to describe it would take time I didn't have. I laughed though, my mother used to tell me about "lucid" dreaming and how one could control their own dreams. Funny how now I was finally able to accomplish it.
"Do you drink... moon horse?" I asked behind me as the room slowly took the shape of ol' Coles pub.
The mare merely stared in awe as I sculpted, pulled, and molded the bar into a near perfect representation of what I had left behind only a few days ago. The bar had nicks from stabscotch and five finger fillet games, scuffs from sliding drinks, and little love letters or notes carved in from years of use. I remembered it oh so well, for years my fingers had inspected every indent and every crack on that bar top.
The mare trotted to the bar and awkwardly sat on a stool, her blue eyes not leaving me as I turned around to grab assorted bottles and tools from the shelf behind me. It felt oddly like the real thing sans the only thing missing was the...
"Music."
The sound of a flute and fiddle filled the room much to the surprise of the moon mare. Warm joyous sound washed over my feelings of sadness and fear as I took two distinct liquors and threw them into a shaker. It was one of the reasons I had continued to work at the pub for so long instead of pursuing a trade or a profession. No matter how hard life got I could always feel better making drinks for friends and partaking in them myself.
Sighing to myself with satisfaction I poured the contents into a martini glass and slid the mix the the wide eyed mare across the counter from me.
"What pray tell is this?" She asked while gently sniffing the contents.
"It's a Starlight Cocktail. Normally takes quite a bit more time to make but you know," I said with a wave of my hand as a glass of brandy materialized out of thin air into my hand, "Dream magic and all that damned garbage."
She took a tentative sip before her eyes widened and almost seemed to sparkle.
"This is magnificent Human Killian! It has been centuries since we have tasted such a delicious confection!"
I chuckled and leaned against the counter while taking a sip.
"Trust me if I made it in real life it wouldn't be even classified as delicious I'm not good at cocktails at all... but dream magic and whatnot."
I placed a hand on the bar and stared at the mare as she almost chugged the drink in one sitting.
"Also it's just Killian. Not Human Killian or Bartender Killian or anything else for that matter. Just Killian."
She smiled and pushed the glass back to me with a tap of her hoof.
"Another. And we would like to be called Princess Luna, not moon horse or otherwise."
I snapped my fingers and the glass was filled. No use doing all that work for a dream I imagined.
"Noted, Luna."
She drank some more at a slightly slower pace as her eyes surveyed the room I had created.
"So that memory is one that has haunted thou?"
Stay out of my feckin head.
"We most certainly will not for it is thou that hath summoned us to this place."
I felt my eye twitch at that comment. I hadn't done a damn thing except get drunk and maybe make a friend with a creature as dense and as rude as myself. That in itself was borderline impossible in my book but there were far stranger things happening.
"By the way, any reason you talk like some posh royal?" I asked while I myself took a drink wondering if one could get drunk in a dream.
"What, would ye' rather we talk like some paddy drunk cunt?" The princess asked with an almost perfect female capturing of an irish accent.
I let out the longest laugh I had in a long time. The mare merely smiled and bowed slightly while we remained basking in each others strange company.
"Though, you don't seem too surprised at our coming here." She mused as her hoof traced the edge of the glass.
My mind cracked for a second and the sound of people filled the room much to my and the princess' surprise. Cole was walking past me, his hands grabbing bottles and dirty glasses with the dexterous skill of a man a quarter his age. My eyes widened as more and more faces filled the pub and the sounds of my city overtook the sullen mood that was present only moments ago.
"Did thou will this?" Luna asked as she frantically looked back and forth.
"No. It just sort of.... happened."
The people seemed to not notice our presence at all. The pub was alive with talk and music but something seemed so familiar about it, so very familiar.
"Mr. Cormac?"
I spun around and saw a balding man that was almost as round as a barrel sitting in front of me. I recognized his clean cut pea coat and his glasses that were too clean all the damn time. His toothy frown and jutting under bite reminded me of exactly what was about to happen.
"Doc! Glad you could come and have a drink!" My voice cried as a perfect reflection of myself wandered to the man and slammed a tankard in front of him.
"For the good news!" The other me growled through a chuckle.
Doc wasn't smiling. His eyes were small and almost black, sunken into his comically fat head as he pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. I remembered smelling the faint scent of cleaning solution and cognac on him as he sat there with his hands running over each other out of sheer fear.
"It's... it's not good news Mr. Cormac. We need to talk."
The other me was already too far gone on brandy and song to even notice what was about to transpire.
"Oh come on now! It's not bad news that I'm gonna be sticking around for the rest of my life!"
Cole raised a hand and cheered as did half the people sitting at the bar. Doc however went back to staring at his glass as a sigh escaped his lips.
"The tests were positive Killian." He said just loud enough for the real me to hear.
"What'd ya say?" The other me laughed.
Gods it hurts to watch this.
"Positive." He said slightly louder with a quiver in his voice. "You tested positive Killian."
The room went quiet, the people slowly disappeared into wavy shadows of their former selves. Only the doc, my other self, and Luna remained.
"Killian?"
I cleared my throat and felt my hand clench the glass as I chucked it as hard as I could at the other me who wore a face of shock, fear, and anger.
"I was a damn fool. I set up a feckin party because I knew one hundred percent that I was fine. Doc came in with the god given grace to tell me the truth."
The other me faded along with doc as the bar began to melt like a Van Gough painting. Luna looked solemn, almost deadpan serious as the room faded into nothingness leaving only the stars and the empty void that had filled me at that exact moment in time.
"I stopped caring after that. I drank every night and every day. I put on a grand show of it, making sure my father could be proud of me. I dumped my girlfriend and sold half my shite. Two months later I fall into a hole and pop up here."
"So your life became a sob story." Came an all to familiar voice.
Oh no feckin shite.
"Maire! How in the hell did you get in here?" I groaned as the white unicorn trotted to the side of a now scrunch faced Luna.
"Magic of course. I mean we are sleeping in pretty close proximity of one another, and here the others thought you were the smart one."
I groaned and slapped my head.
"How long were you watching?"
She grinned momentarily with a giggle.
"Not that long. I got lost between the doors labeled Kinky Wet Dreams and First Time Riding a Bike."
My eyes narrowed as I pointed a finger at Luna.
"Don't suppose you went off adventuring into my thoughts?"
She looked wide eyed at me then to Maire.
"We would never!"
Yeah right, these damn ponies are voyeurs for christ sake.
"WE MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT!" Luna boomed loudly for such a small pony.
"Well I don't know about you," I mumbled while glaring at Maire, "But you I'm pretty sure went digging around.
Maire merely grinned as she licked her lips.
"Just a little. I didn't see anything I liked though, you're entirely too boring." She stated witha raised eye brow.
Is that a challenge?
"No."
"GET THE FECK OUT OF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW!"
Luna giggled as did Maire at my reaction.
"Oh you won't have to worry about that. I should be getting ready to kick you off the bed in three, two, one."
Explosive pain shot through my head as the dreamscape promptly vanished to a wave of blinding light. Pain upon pain echoed through my skull as my hand grabbed the first thing it could latch onto so I didn't tumble to my doom.
Wow that is SOFT.
A scream came from the bed as a white and blue blur flew off with me and landed right on top of me. The weight alone knocked the air out of my already stressed lungs and in a moment of pure adrenaline fueled panic I wrapped my arms around whatever was dragged down with me.
"Killian? What are you..." Maire started to say as her eyes fell down to my red as an apple face.
She was on top of me, legs splayed out and around me as my arms clutched her with no desire to let go. Granted the reason was adrenaline and fear, but judging by the look in her eyes she thought it was a drastically different one. Empty night though... Her eyes were peering down at me in such close proximity I got lost wandering in them. A horse was locking me in some kind of magic voodoo siren song amalgamation death trap!
Whew try saying that several times fast.
"You pushed me." I whispered
"I sure did."
"So I feckin grabbed the closest thing near me."
"My tail." Her smile widened as she arched an eyebrow.
"And then you fell on top of me." I managed to say a bit louder.
"And here we are." She all but cooed.
We laid there. I wasn't sure what the hell to do at this point because any and all contingency plans my Batman like brain had conceived were lost in the orbs of the mares eyes. Her chest rose and fell, each breath pushing her warm soft fur into my chest, each shift of her hooves dragging even softer bliss across my burly arms. It was all too much and without warning I received a mental message from central command in the south wing.
"Shite." I managed to squeak.
"Oh that doesn't sound good." She giggled as she propped her front hooves off and pushed, immediately lowering the leverage of her flank to-
"Quadro-shite."
That's when she screamed.