//------------------------------// // Intermission F // Story: The Infestation of Canterlot High School // by Bonster //------------------------------// Intermission F In an abandoned railway station below Canterlot, a massive portal ripped into existence at Twilight’s feet, and she and her companions fell yelping into it. The students in the other parts of the subway erupted into panic, screaming and running away from the portal, shouting things like “Not again!” and “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with horses!” Under the cover of confusion, three more girls dropping into the dimensional rift went unnoticed. The sirens, enjoying the luxury of planning where they wanted to fall, managed to secure a position in the canopy of one of the large trees the portal had opened over. The branches were thick and leafy and high enough off the ground that the trio couldn’t see any more than faint glimpses of the humans below them—perfect. “Do you feel that, girls?” Adagio whispered. She braced one hand against the trunk of the tree, and swept her other through the air in front of her. “I had almost forgotten what a real magical atmosphere felt like.” Aria was examining her hands, looking thoroughly pissed. “Just our luck. We’re finally back in Equestria, but we’re still stuck in these useless bodies.” “I wouldn’t call them useless!” Sonata said. “Fingers are really good for stuff! Like holding a microphone! I wonder if they’ve invented microphones over here yet?” “Sonata, we didn’t even use the microphones. We only had them so we wouldn’t look suspicious.” “Quiet!” Adagio hissed. “If they find out we’re here before we get our magic back, we’re through!” Aria dutifully lowered her voice, but not its bitter edge. “And how exactly are we getting our magic back? I’m sure you haven’t forgotten about, you know, our broken resonators!” She prodded Adagio in her chest, right where the throbbing pain of the missing organ resided. “Obviously, we’ll have to get some new ones.” Sonata retched. “You… you mean from other sirens?” Adagio rolled her eyes. “Duh, where else?” “We’re already exiles. May as well,” Aria droned. “But that’s disgusting!” “Look, Sonata,” Adagio sneered, “sometimes you need to be disgusting to survive. How much longer do you think we can last before we starve?” Sonata gulped. Adagio was right. They hadn’t eaten in months—how much longer did they have? Weeks? Days? Her stomach said hours. Adagio didn’t bother waiting for her to respond. “Look,” she ordered, pointing to Mount Canterlot off in the distance. “There’s Oratorio. Let’s get going.” And moments later, when a grappling hook wrapped itself around a branch below them, any protests the others might have had died on their lips as they hopped quickly along the blanket of trees and out of the Everfree. The seven humans groaned, picked themselves up, brushed themselves off, and spit the dirt from their mouths. Twilight managed to retain the presence of mind to remember to close her locket, and the swirling portal of energy that was nearly obscured by the many branches and leaves above closed with a flash. Sweetie Drops was the first to speak. “Twilight, what the hell were you thinking?” Her voice had a murderous lilt to it. “Woah there babe,” Lyra muttered. “I told you not to test it when we were all there!” “Everything should’ve been controlled! I just didn’t understand how much magic Queen Chrysalis had!” “Hasn’t anybody ever told you that you shouldn’t mess around with things you don’t understand?!” Immediately, Twilight tensed, her hands clenching into fists. “Now, Bon Bon,” Celestia said with her teacher voice, “You can’t blame all of this on Twilight.” “Especially not when it’s all your fault!” Velvet accused. Celestia blinked. “Excuse me?” “Do you even know the first thing about running a school? If you had been better principals, we’d still be on Earth!” Luna stepped forward with a vengeance. “We’re doing the best we can, lady! If aliens started randomly attacking your school, what would you do?” “This isn’t about me!” “I have to agree with my sister,” Celestia said, keeping her composure. If there was anything in life she had experience dealing with, it was angry parents. “We did the best we could considering the circumstances.” “I disagree,” Chrysalis said. “If you had been more cooperative earlier on, we could have avoided the attack altogether.” “And our students would’ve been shipped off somewhere, too,” Luna spat. “Who do you think I am, a kidnapper?” “Well, maybe!” A few feet away, Twilight threw her hands in the air. “I made a mistake, okay! I don’t like it any better than you do!” Bon Bon glared. “I’m not sure I want to let you hold that thing if you can’t control it.” “It’s our only way back home, and I’m the most qualified to use it.” “Are sure?” Sweetie’s voice was nasty. “Or is that another thing you don’t understand?” “When we get back, I’m taking this to the school board!” Velvet yelled. Celestia sighed. “Misses Velvet, you’re overreacting.” “Overreacting? Really? We’re stuck in another fuc—fudging dimension!” Celestia smiled unbelievably passive-aggressively. “Really? I didn’t notice.” Meanwhile, Luna and Chrysalis were locked in a staring contest. “I know what’s best for my students.” “I know what’s best for my country.” “Cutting off another world full of abundant natural resources that Earth is in desperate need of?” “Look… “If you weren’t so stubborn—” “If you weren’t so incompetent—” “If you weren’t so reckless—” “—None of this would have happened!” “You don’t know what you’re saying!” “You’re blowing this way out of proportion.” “I already said I’m sorry!” “Oh my god.” Lyra took a deep breath. “SHUT UP!” Six faces turned to look at her. “This is stupid,” she said, as if that solved everything. When it didn’t, she sighed, and continued. “Look, I shouldn’t have to say all this, but…” Another sigh. She turned to Sweetie Drops and Twilight. “Babe, I understand where your coming from here; I’m hella pissed at Sparkle too.” “Hey!” “But it was an honest mistake, and yelling at her isn’t going to help her get us back, so I think it’d be cool if you could turn off the prepare-to-die stare and stuff?” Bon Bon met Lyra’s eyes for a few seconds, and then started to take deep breaths. “K.” Lyra turned to Velvet. “Look, Twilight’s mom, you just seem frustrated at circumstances and are taking it out on Celestia. Who, well, is a pretty shit principal, but at least she tries. You’re just bitching.” Both woman could only look at her with open mouths. “And, you two…” she looked towards Chrysalis and Luna. “Look, man, I’m not going to pretend to know a lot about politics or whatever you’re talking about, but could it wait until we’re not in a spooky forest with no idea where we are?” “I… suppose,” Luna said. “Cool. Now, are we going to get out of here or what?” “We need to find shelter ASAP,” Twilight stated, eager to move on. “Who knows what kind of horrible Equestrian monsters live here?” “On it.” Sweetie Drops lifted her arm above her head and shot out her grappling hook; it snaked around one of the thicker branches in sight. She pulled a bit on the rope to make sure it was secured and then folded herself around it, slowly reeling it up towards the canopy. When she reached the length of the rope, she detached the hook and ascended branch by branch, quickly vanishing behind the mess of leaves. She left the group in suspense for almost three minutes before dropping the twenty feet back to the ground, sticking the landing in a perfect crouch and almost giving Velvet a heart attack. “Careful!” she chastised. “You could hurt yourself!” “See anything?” Chrysalis asked, ignoring Velvet entirely. “There’s a castle close to here. Two, actually; one’s by a small village, but we’ll reach the isolated one first. There’s a third castle on a mountain a few miles from us, but it’s too far to walk. Nothing else of note, but I may have missed something in the dark.” “Three castles?” Celestia shook her head. “This really is straight from a fairy tale.” Lyra laughed. “Yeah, next there’s going to be talking animals and shit.” Twilight debated whether the not-so-obvious was worth bringing up as the group started walking. She was confidant that she was the only one with any substantial knowledge of Equestria, assuming Chrysalis or Bon Bon hadn’t encountered it before in their line of work. It would probably be helpful for her to give some background, but it wasn’t like she was an expert. She didn’t want to give them faulty information. Also, she wasn’t too sure they’d even believe her. If Sunset hadn’t been so straight-faced and somber whenever she had talked about Equestria, Twilight probably would’ve questioned her, too. “This place is already giving me the creeps,” Velvet whined, scanning the dreary forest around them. “I can’t wait to get back home. Twilight, how long until you can do that portal thing again?” “I—” Twilight’s words stuck in her throat. She didn’t want to upset her mother, but… she wasn’t exactly planning on going back. “I don’t know. There’s a lot more magic here than on Earth, but it might still take a few days, unless we encounter a magical creature I can syphon some from.” Velvet sighed. “Wait.” Luna stopped dead in her tracks, looking around surreptitiously. Her voice was low. “Do you hear that?” Everybody stopped talking at once, eyes flicking from shrub to shadow. “I’m not hearing anything,” Bon Bon muttered, with a practiced muffle. “I am,” Celestia said. She looked towards Luna; “Whispering?” Luna nodded. A few moments passed. “Yeah, no, I got nothing,” Lyra said. “You sure you’re not going crazy?” “I swear!” Luna hissed. “It’s faint, but I can hear it. I can’t make out the words.” “I think it’s the same phrase over and over again,” Celestia added. Luna turned to the group. “Are none of you hearing this?” They all shook their heads. Chrysalis crossed her arms. “Have you two been getting enough sleep?” “It’s unlikely for them to both be hallucinating the same thing,” Twilight said. “Given our lack of knowledge about this new world, we shouldn’t disregard it. Although, until we gather more information, it would be wise to—” “Shh!” Bon Bon said, covering her mouth. Velvet huffed. “Oh, what now? More ghost sounds?” A low growl rolled through them, and four slitted yellow eyes appeared in the shadows to their left. “Okay. Forget I asked.” Velvet, along with Lyra and the principals, took a few steps back; Chrysalis and Sweetie Drops positioned themselves for battle, Sweetie taking her weapon out from under her jacket; and Twilight leaned forward, curious. She joined the others in the back once she saw the teeth. It was understandable; the thing had far too many teeth for one animal. Mainly because it was three animals squished together. The beast had a tiger’s head and forelegs and a goat’s head and hind legs all stuffed onto a burly torso, and its snake-for-a-tail was the icing on the cake. The extremely dangerous and likely poisonous cake. Celestia stumbled backwards. “What on Earth is that thing?” “Wrong question,” Chrysalis said, pulling her gun. “We’re not dealing with Earth anymore.” “I think that’s a chimera!” Twilight yelled over its roar. “But chimeras are supposed to have a lion’s head, not a tiger’s!” “I don’t think it cares!” Lyra shouted back. The monster leapt. Chrysalis shot, and muttered a quick “Shit” as the monster didn’t even flinch when the bullet struck. She managed to roll away from a swipe of its claws, but it twirled around to face her. Sweetie Drops lunged in from behind, thrusting Devil’s Tongue into the tiger-part of its hide. The blade was soaked with blood as she withdrew it, but the chimera recovered quickly, and its tail snapped at her arm. Fortunately, Sweetie had been concealing her medical kit in the part of the sleeve it bit into, and no amount of poison could break through solid metal. Bon Bon jumped back and rolled a small orb from her jacket cuff into her hand; she threw it at the snake and it exploded with a flash, causing the tail to hiss and reel back. Chrysalis was managing to dodge the chimera’s attacks, but couldn’t sneak in even a small jab. She was far too close to use her gun—if she tried, she’d no doubt be gored. In order to deal any damage she’d need a sharp hit to one of its eyes, but somehow without losing her hand in the process. But just as Chrysalis resigned herself to retreat, a small, blue-feathered dart sprouted from the side of the chimera; its six eyes clouded, and it dropped to the ground with a thump. Chrysalis wasted no time in placing her revolver against the thing’s head (the tiger one) and shooting open its skull. No sense in risking it waking up. A rustling came from the bushes next to them, and Chrysalis and Sweetie Drops again raised their weapons, but when the saw what came out, they lowered them again. It was a zebra, but no ordinary zebra. Her anatomy was all wrong, for one, and she also wore jewelry—large golden hoop earrings and golden ornaments around her neck and one of her legs. She was plastered with foul-looking paste. “Was it you who helped us?” Sweetie asked. The zebra nodded. “Nopony deserves to be acquainted with a chimera’s fang. You are lucky your weapon makes such a bang.” She looked them over. “Although, it seems I forgot; pony you most certainly are not.” “Holy shit a talking zebra,” Lyra said, wide-eyed. “Why is it rhyming?” Celestia whispered to Luna. She could only shrug. “Hello there!” Twilight said diplomatically. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, a human, and you are?” The zebra took a step back, a frightful look in her eyes, before calming down. “…Zecora is the most common of my names. Were it not for your form, I would suspect one of the changelings’ games.” Twilight blinked. “Oh, right. This probably looks super suspicious. See, we’re from a parallel universe, and I’m the Twilight Sparkle from over there. We accidentally crossed over because of Queen Chrysalis’s interference.” Zecora looked the group up and down, her eyes lingering on the human Chrysalis for a time. “However far fetched, your claim appears true”—she produced a bottle of the weird paste she was wearing from… somewhere—“but just to be sure, I wish to see this elixir on you. It reveals even the best disguises, and makes sure there are no nasty surprises.” Twilight took the jar from Zecora, sniffed it, and gagged. Reluctantly, she applied some of it to her arms and passed it on to Bon Bon behind her. Soon, she was enveloped in a cool blue light, and Zecora smiled in satisfaction. “It is unlucky you arrived when you did, for now the downfall of Equestria you are amid. It may be that you already know, but the entire country is under the Queen’s control.” “Is it really that bad?” Chrysalis asked. “Our dimension was only first invaded a few days ago.” “Time isn’t necessarily consistent across dimensions,” Twilight offered. “We have no way of knowing.” Zecora sighed. “Despite the best efforts of the crown, it took but a day for our lives to turn upside down. It is thanks to my life of seclusion that I have not met a morbid resolution; yet, despite my best efforts to think of a solution, there are not enough ponies left for a proper revolution.” She paused, seeming to eye Sweetie’s blade. “Though, perhaps with a bit of persistence, we may be able to form something of a resistance.” “Maybe later,” Luna said. “Right now we just need a place to stay. Do you live in that castle close to here?” Zecora shook her head. “I live in a hut too humble for a group of eight. The castle you shall much more appreciate.” “Alright, I gotta ask,” Lyra said, narrowing her eyes at the zebra, “why are you always rhyming?” Zecora’s face darkened quicker than a light switch. “To speak eternally in verse: all who enter this forest end up with such a curse.” Velvet shrieked. “I knew this place was horrible!” “Please tell me you’re kidding,” Celestia pleaded. Abruptly, Zecora burst out laughing. “Oh, the looks on your faces! Come, friends, we must be going places.” Hours Later The Lost City of Oratorio lay on the peak of Mount Canterlot in dusty ruins. Time had reduced the titanic meeting halls and monolithic ritual-sites of its former glory to rubble and debris; the High Muses’ Residence, previously more opulent and regal than Canterlot Palace itself, was now a husk of dull grey stones, and the spiraling adornments of Tritone’s Precipice, the site of the constant blanketing of influence across Equestria, were unrecognizable. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata looked at it all with a melting pot of emotions. It wasn’t their home—not anymore. They may have once known the sirens that once lived in the dilapidated square houses—but they had never been on good terms. They may have cared about the fate of their species—if they hadn’t been given countless centuries to nurture their hatred towards them. Yet the sight of the city in ruins wasn’t what they’d call heartwarming, either. “Wow, this place is a mess,” Sonata observed. Aria laughed, almost. “Someone finally busted their little operation, huh?” “It probably wasn’t long after we were exiled,” Adagio said, examining the ruins. “The first time or the second time?” Aria wasn’t actually interested in the answer; she was just being snarky. Which was good, because Adagio didn’t care enough to respond. “So, any bets on who did ‘em in?” Sonata chirped. “I’d say the ponies,” Adagio said. “Their xenophobia was world-renowned.” “Coulda been the windigoes,” Aria mused. “Competition for food and all that jazz.” “I bet it was the changelings! They eat love or whatever, but we were making hate, so that’d make them hate us!” “Please,” scoffed Aria. “Queen Silky’s a complete pushover.” “Yeah, but what if she died? Her daughter Cocoon or whatever seemed like a real bitch.” “It doesn’t matter what happened to them,” Adagio stressed. “We came here for one thing, and its only easier with them all dead. Time for some good, old fashioned grave robbing.” Her villainous cackle would’ve made Chrysalis blush.