I huffed and looked down at the mare splayed under me. Princess Celestia, also known to me as Sunbutt, was splayed on the couch with her head resting on the arm of at the end. Her vermilion eyes stared at me as I knelt at the front of the couch, my fingers poking, prodding, and otherwise massaging her back left hoof as she giddily giggled like a gosh darn preteen. Her twitches and squirms, while making the other ponies in the room look away uncomfortably, caused me to roll my eyes and wish to Dornan that I could be spared this hell of a fate. How I ended up stepping on a goddesses hoof and apologizing until she "puppy dog eyed" me into giving her a hoof massage was beyond me in my now sober state.

Her hoof left my hand as she peered at me with one eye hidden in her lustrous mane. With a simple spell I was hoisted into the air and dropped onto the cushion in the middle of her where she draped a wing over my shoulder with a giggle.

"You are so good with those hands of yours. Perhaps you'll consider staying here? I know a world of ponies that would pay you top bits for those hands to be all over them." She whispered as she trailed a feather across my still bare chest. Though I was sure that any stallion in my shoes would have died of blushing I merely found myself laughing at her tickling actions.

"Um... Princess? I was curious if perhaps the poor dear might need some additional clothing?" Regal white whispered as her blush seemed to lighten with Celestias sigh.

"Why would you ask?" I questioned as I pulled myself off the couch to stand among them.

"Well... I mean... the uhm... the tips of your teats dear. They seem to be um... pointy."

I looked down and noticed that among the auburn forest of chest capitol two little pink hills had ascended from the dark depths. This brought a deep hearted laugh from within me as I looked down at the white mare and ruffled her amethyst mane much to her protests.

"I would indeed like my shirt back if my damn drinking partner hadn't tossed his biscuits all over it." I said with a sneer. The damn apple drinking fuck didnt even give it back when I left the pub.

It hit me that I had been walking around town and sitting with the group completely unclothed from the waist up. Not to be bothered by such things I lowered my arms and flexed as hard as I could for the mares and of course Spike. His head raised from his comic book as he whispered.

Of course the mares stared at me, who wouldn't stare at Killian Cormacs gun show? The reactions though were mixed. Twilight had her quill out and was fervently sketching it seemed, Rarity had tape out and was immediately sizing me up, and Celestia... well let's just say her face was PG but her eyes were "AO"

Maire however was the most peculiar. She stared momentarily as she looked me up and down. Her eyes had no sense of wonder or even care until she bit her lip and pulled her hoodie over her head with her magic. Though practically all the ponies I had seen wore no clothing she wore hers since I had seen her. Seeing her fur ruffle as she pulled the hoodie over her head... it did something to me. I felt a strange warmth in my gut not much different from having a belly full of mead, but deeper, like... down in my lower gut.

Her fur was ruffled at her shoulders and under her neck, hair disheveled, hooves fluffed up at the tips. It was a good look for the mare. She smiled and looked away as she hovered the hoodie to me. With a mumble of incoherent nonsense she placed it into my hands.

"It's um... enchanted. You could probably wear it until Rarity makes some new clothes for you."

I smiled and nodded my head in thanks. I pulled the hoodie open and unzipped it before slipping my arms through it, marveling as the fabric seemed to grow additional fabric to cover my frame. With magic like this back home fat people wouldn't feel nearly as bad when they tried to stuff themselves into outfits.

It was soft and bits of the mares fur was inside the sleeves making it a tad bit itchy. Other than that though, it fit like a glove and was incredibly warm and soft.

1. Though I'm not into feckin animals I was overly accepting of the new creatures that took me in.
2. Furries went to the Ballsbridge hotel in Ireland in these bizzare costumes and genuinely enjoyed each other, so who was I to judge.
3. Damn this hoodie is soft feckin christ she may never get it back.
4. When a guy gives a hoodie... wait was she? Nah, probably not.
5. Damn she's awful cute when she's flustered.

Her hoof was in my gut before I could blink and when I doubled over her lips were so close to my ear I could almost feel the tuft of fur under her chin.

She smiled and let me go with a giggle as she silently apologized to the witnesses. In my mind I saw her as a fiery lass, a temper to face off against my own, an equal so to speak. Perhaps I was expecting too much of her, putting things and thoughts were they didn't belong.

"In any case dear, I'll try and have a fashion line out for you by tomorrow morning." Rarity said as she bowed, rolling the tape and gear back into her saddlebags.

"I... I appreciate it. Thank you." The words pouring from my mouth had little snark, little room for ulterior joking.

The ponies single file lined out of the library. Last of all was Celestia and Maire. Celestia approached with her wings extended, a smirk on her face as she leaned in to press her muzzle to my neck. The feeling was borderline euphoric, each bristle was warm, each breath was warmer still, and yet it was all there was.

"I do appreciate the massage Killian, perhaps if I were to sprain a hoof again I could call upon you for assistance." She said with a wink which sent a small shiver down my spine. The kind of shiver you get when a bog witch blows ye a kiss or when your mother says you need to talk.

The door closed and I suddenly noticed the eerie quiet that followed. I had known Twilight had to go back to her castle or something to that effect and as I looked to my sides I soon found my company was the company the silent part of me most enjoyed. Books, books as far as my eyes could see, all kinds, big books, small books, some as big as my head. I chuckled and dug my heels into the ground before swinging myself a full 180 degrees to spot two big eyes staring at me.

"Maire? What are you still doing here?" I questioned as I jumped just a wee bit.

"Well big shot, I don't have a hotel for the evening and you're wearing my only warm clothing." She said almost too matter-of-factly.

I scratched the back of my neck and felt the warmth of her hoodie encompassing me like the suns rays themselves.

"You think I'd give a flying buck what she says? She's not my princess. I just figured instead of sulking and doing the oh whoa is me I'm a sick little human routine maybe you'd like some company that's still among the living."

"You better watch that feckin tone missy or I'll wash your little pony snout out with soap."

I released her with a laugh and pushed her to the couch. Her legs hit the ground first and she lowered herself as if to attack me.

"I don't know where you're from Killian but to hit a mare such as myself is considerably rude."

Her eyes narrowed and with a resounding battle cry she lunged at me with horn aglow. Her white body swung around me in a wide arc as one hoof struck out of my field of vision, hitting my in the ass as a triumphant cry echoed from her maw. Hurt as it did to have a direct attack on my proud buttocks I rounded an open hand and grabbed her mane, pulling her to the side and managing to twist her around with my free arm and pinning her to the ground. Victory for the just! Ireland never loses! But her eyes immediately shown her own battle plan as for the second time in the day my lost boys were immediately tapped with her left hoof.

"Give it up boy, one solid buck and you'll be out like a timber wolf in a wildfire." She sneered with a look clearly gloating at her victory.

"Ok, ok! You win Maire the mare." I chuckled as I fell back on my ass while she let out a victory scream.

"Nopony has ever bested me so... nothing personal kid." She said with another eye roll.

I shook my head and stood up, waltzing to the couch and flopping back into it. Maire took the opportunity to jump on my lap with a chuckle as she pressed her head into my hand.

I sighed and let my fingers course through her soft mane. It was too soft, impossibly so, and my ministrations elicited a calming sigh from the mare.

"Killian. consider it incredibly rude but I have to ask you," she began as she covered her muzzle with a hoof. "Why do you have teats?"

"Alright geeze Mr. pony tight lips." She stopped for a moment and I felt her eyebrows raise up.

"People are cunts. They take and take, they fight over stupid shite, they continue to badmouth each other, nobody wants to work or do anything, and the lucky ones get the entire world at their fingertips while the rest of us have to deal with cancer and The UN's crap."

"Oh sounds like I got a little masochist." I muttered as I pinched the tip of her fluffy ear.

"Hey! Watch that hand mister. I'm watching you." She said as a spoon magically waved itself menacingly at me.

"Oh gods no! Please don't spoon me!" I said with a fake faint that almost knocked her from my lap.

She chuckled and leaned up against me as her warmth passed through the fabric of her hoodie.

"You know, you're not half ugly when you wear my clothing." She teased as I felt just the faintest heat enter my cheeks.

"Ha ha asshole. Seriously though; tell me about your culture, where you're from."

"Ireland. Isle of hope, isle of tears, isle of freedom, isle of fears, but it's not the isle I left behind. The isle of hunger, isle of pain, isle I'll never see again." I recited with a grin remembering one of my favorite childhood songs. "It's beautiful and hideous all in one. A place where people care and don't judge ye for getting paddy drunk and wearing a dress."

"People think we're all about green and leprechauns but we're nothing like that. We grow potatoes, brew the best beer this side of the world, and we genuinely care. There is nothing I really hate about my home it's just..."

"It wasn't easy being there. Pa was sick with cancer, he smoked more than any man I had ever seen and if he wasn't chewing his pipe he was chewing me out." I said with a chuckle. "Ma was a waitress in ol' Colarneys pub. She was the lass of everyone's eyes. She could sing... Oh lords above! She used to sing me to sleep. She'd scrap enough money while pa worked the dock. He was a fisher and one of the best if one could say."

"Even with the cancer my pa was a fighter. He could throw a punch that could poke a hole in space itself."

"He was a bare knuckle fighter when he wanted to be. Not much like they were in the old days but my father liked to pick fights with the tourists and the young lads around town. He'd walk from our town to Dublin just to get a drink and see the scenery. Didn't even matter that he'd seen the whole country a million times he'd walk all the same and appreciate the smallest blade of grass the old coot."

"Dublin, tourist trap but not that bad of a city. If you go to Il Fornaio you can get some of the best coffee and scones on the whole damn island. More than anything though people went there for a taste of the big city life. I like my pub and I like the hills so that is exactly where I stayed. We do..." I began with a deep chortle, "We do have some of the best songs and limericks."

"There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!"

Maire stared blankly before a fierce blush flooded her face and her mouth opened in an "o" before closing in a muffled fit of giggles.

I tensed up and looked down at her with a half hearted scowl. I was never one to sing, I hadn't inherited ma's singing ability and my father sure as hell couldn't hold a tune to save his life. But looking into those damn eyes I found it hard in my heart of hearts to deny the young mare.

"Fine, but you owe me a series of stiff drinks if I do." I growled under my breath.

Clearly happy with her victory Maire jumped from my lap and sat in front of with her head facing the opposite wall.

I rolled my eyes and stood feeling the first bit of nervousness I had since the time I saw a girl without her darned shirt on.

In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheeled her wheelbarrow through streets broad and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O!

A-live a-live O! A-live a-live O!
Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O!

She was a fishmonger and sure it was no wonder
For so were her father and mother before
And they both wheeled their barrows through streets broad and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O!

A-live a-live O! A-live a-live O!
Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O!

She died of a fever and no one could save her
And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone
Now her ghost wheels her barrow through streets broad and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O!

A-live a-live O! A-live a-live O!
Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O!
A-live a-live O! A-live a-live O!
Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O!

I felt myself swaying to the song, pa and ma would sing this song together and I had heard it so many times in crowded pubs I basically bled the damned song. But nevertheless it was a song I could sing either piss drunk or sober as sand. Though perhaps a sad song it was jubilantly sung by lad and lass alike into the nights of those cold days. It was kind of like a story, well hells, it was a story.

I opened my eyes and found Maire staring at me with wide eyes. Nervousness clashed over my like a wave from the sea and I could feel my face heating up as her shocked expression gave way to a smile then a gleeful gaze.

"I do gotta say Killian, you slay those tunes when you're not drowning in cider." She added with a wink as she continued to stare.

Damn dreamy eyed horse trying to usurp my throne with her damned pony witchcraft.

"Still a better singer than you." I shot back as I ran a hand through my hair in a majestic show of pride.

I turned with a grin and was greeted with a pair of furious eyes inches from my own. Maire was standing upright on two hooves as she leaned in close to me. Just like before when she gave me the hoodie a deep feeling of dread washed over me as she pressed a hoof to my chest.

"As long as you wear MY clothing and as long as you owe me for embarrassing me and just being a general ass I will always be better than you. Got it?" She finished with a poke to my chin.

Maire fell back onto all fours and sported a giddy grin as she jumped onto the couch.

"Good, glad we got that settled then. Now as it is getting awfully late... perhaps you should go get ready for bed. You know where the bathroom is and the bedroom is just down the hall from there."

I assumed she was taking the couch and with a shrug I trudged upstairs and opened the bathroom door.

The shower was downright tiny in the most comical sense. With a little luck I found the head of the shower to be able to move on a hose and pulled off my dirt covered trousers.

The last article to come off my body was the hoodie. The mirror offered a good glimpse of myself from two days of fooling around and for a moment I paused as thoughts of home permeated to the surface and made their sorry way to my eyes.

Cole wouldn't be worried about me. He had a business and I had a habit of running away in the past. My uncle wouldn't give a shite since the death of my ma and with pa in the grave I really had nobody else to think of. My exes remained as that down the road and part of the cancer had forced me to distance myself from anyone lest they learn of my predicament. Dornans ass hair I was a right sorry mess.

I took a deep breath and removed the last article of clothing before sitting in the bathtub with my knees to my chest and turned the water on.

Back in the foyer

Maire laid on the couch with a scowl scrunched on her face. With Killian out of the room she had been able to get a much more level head. He had been pushing back every time she confronted him and his blatant disregard for royalty was infuriating to say the least. His carefree demeanor and seeming magical ability to make the ponies around him comfortable was alien to her in concept.

Yet the aspect of his sadness, of his acceptance of his demise, and willing choice to outwardly show arrogance and rudeness was all to familiar to her. She lowered her head into her hooves and blew air across the fluff at the base of her hooves. She was terrible at the so called "friendship of magic" almost all the ponies she came across were nice enough yet they seemed fake, forced even in their attempt to be "good ponies." The novelty of kindness had grown tiresome to her and that was when at a young age she set across Equestria as a musician. The music and the joy she brought was real and seeing the ponies having such fun was enough to get her through the day regardless of how many bits she had or the nights she spent under a bridge.

"I'm an outcast..." She muttered to herself as she buried her head into her hooves.

Surely Killian had been able to see through her attitude as she had seen through his.

Uncertainty flooded the young mares mind as she remembered over and over that he didn't know her, and even with all the talk of his life she didn't know him. She didn't know if he was indeed from a faraway land, she didn't know if he had this... cancer. She knew nothing about the strange biped and in some sense she found the thought exciting.

She had traveled for a long couple of years, she had seen so many things and yet in the end each thing she witnessed belonged to something, to somepony. Yet she belonged nowhere, to nopony. She sighed again as she played with a ball of fuzz that she gingerly had removed from Killian's chest fur. He was so strange, foreign, yet so much like a pony that a small filly deep inside of her was frightened. Yet Twilight, Celestia, and the others just... didn't seem to care.

"Would he want me to go with him on this journey?" She absentmindedly asked herself before a blush furiously settled in.

A chance at an adventure to a place she had never gone before, an opportunity to see and meet new ponies, new creatures, learn new music and new magic. Celestias grace the thought was making her twitch. She wouldn't be an outcast because she would be with someone like her!

She stood from the couch as she heard the bathroom door open and close before sucking in a big breath and letting it out. Her mind made up, she trotted towards the bedroom with a look of sheer determination.

Back at the Irish font of doom

I sat at the edge of the bed with my pants pulled back up and only slightly damp from hand washing them. Surely Purple Einstein wouldn't mind if he washed his clothes in her bathtub. It was odd, almost felt like home where I sat. the bed was smaller than what I was used to but if I curled up I'm sure my big arse would fit.

In my mind I heard my accent thicken from nerves, a trait my mother so lovingly passed onto me. It wouldn't be long until my words were so muddled people would think the sickness had gone and made me dumber than a box of rocks. Nerves were going crazy with the promise of a possible cure and the even greater worry that maybe just maybe... I didn't want to-

I snapped upright and stared at Maire as she entered the room with her hoodie draped around her back. Her eyes were filled with... something. Something dangerous and also exciting. I had no intention of saying a damn word as she got closer and closer until she was at my knees. Before she could open her mouth she poked at my pants and sighed.

"I washed them alright? You're the one that said I smell like a piss drunk Irishman."

"Wrong again, it was you that said my hoodie smelled like that ergo you smell like that."

Her blush said more than words could ever say and I found myself throwing red flags and stop signs in my head.

"I'm not gonna tell you my life story and I'm not going to ask for pity. I just... I WANT to go on an adventure and I thought... maybe..." Her voice quivered as she lowered her head.

Her words and posture hurt me. Legitimately made my heart go "aaaaw." I extended a hand and roughed her mane. It wasn't what I was expecting but... Having a pony around for the ride wouldn't be a bad thing.

"Well I'm not so sure why you think I'm going on a journey you kooky mare. Sun Butt said she'd delegate and see if they could send the cure here." I said with a chuckle laced with nervousness.

"Saddle Arabian magic can't be used outside of their country. Even if Celestia delegated you'd have to travel there."

"Well... you think that damned horse would have told me this when she asked me to stay."

I stopped as I felt the familiar softness of Maires hoodie wrap around my neck and tie itself in the back. I pulled the sleeve and noticed it resembled a scarf and the Maire tying it looked at me with unbridled conviction.

"You have to now. As long as you wear my hoodie and owe me..." She looked down again in the damned cutest way.

I blinked a couple of times before falling on the bed turned on my side. The look in her eye betrayed her fear but with a groan I patted the edge of the bed.

"Well make yourself useful and keep me warm then. I'm no good to you sick or dead."

Her eyes lit up and a smile exploded as she leaped on the bed and snuggled close to me.

My mind flooded with doubt and fear as I reached around and pulled the mare close to my chest. A journey? What if I didn't have time? What if I ended up harming someone along the way? Was I strong enough to do this in a place I did not know? My inner Irish bastard warrior buckled under the weight of the doubt and I found my heart sinking as I let out a quiet sigh.

Her silence was uninterrupted in the room before she let out the quietest of giggles.

A Bartender in Equestria

by SilentAuthor

Chapter Four: Plans, Booze, Hope, and Plot