The Elements... And Me

by Doood

I'm not salty, just extremely peppered

I awoke, in a cold sweat, having relived a dream that was by rights, a nightmare fueled heart attack. Checking my surroundings, I could see that I was in the pony world. And to my unfailing sense of dread, I realized it didn't blow up.

And it wasn't my fault.

So I breathed in a gulp of air, and rubbed my stubble, flipping my cold feet around the bedside to stand. The bricks of walking hit the wooden floor with a thud, and as I stood, the tree seemed to groan in its own way, hopefully not waking the bookworm in the next room.

Yeah… along with having flashbacks and my first encounters with vivid dreaming, I left Canterlot on a sour note it seems. What with having the Elements of Chaos and Discord looming over my shoulders. I could deal with the latter because that fucker was frozen in a nice thing I like to call, STONE. He wasn't getting out anytime soon.

Now the former…

They are something I must find time to worry about. I've been having dreams lately that’ve filled my mind with fear, homesickness, and a constant rate of insanity at when Pride is going to appear.

If she is,

Then let's just say Equestria is fuggled ten times over.

It’s been another three days. Yeah, I said it. Three days. Three days since Canterlot, triple twenty four hours since I last saw Celestia. And not a peep has happened. Everyone is on edge, that is for sure. And like a game of chess, I am seriously judging the next move. One wrong placement and it’s Checkmate for us.

In order of what the six ponies did when they got back is as follows; Rarity went to make dresses, as usual. Twilight found time to study up on Discord and his Minions, after which she also made me listen to. It’s quite the tale, and if I have time, I might just regal it to you in intervals.

Fluttershy had asked me to spend the night in her house again, if it were okay with Twilight… It wasn't. (Said something on the lines of me being dangerous)

Applejack and Pinkie got together and planned a little party in my favor. It’s today, I'll have you know, and I am not looking forward to it. Rainbow Dash turned around from her little incident and while in Canterlot, visited the nearest pub, and didn't think of inviting me. She called it the Table Salt. Whatever the hell that consequences for.

And me, I just went with what was happening. The most exciting thing that had happened since then, was probably encountering that changeling. Which, by the way, was still at large. So like me, Shining and I kept in touch, because who knows what will happen next.

I ended up coughing myself awake, bring myself to check the time in a natural instinct. If my phone was working that is. So being able to not tell time, I got around to opening that wardrobe Twilight had given me out of her love.

I'm just kidding, she doesn't love me at all, and if I had to guess, at any chance she had, she would try to kill me.

What? I'm not exactly the best sociable person on this side of the goddamn universe.

In the wardrobe were a couple thousand button ups, and maybe just a couple hundred pants. I shit you not, Rarity went on a knitting spree when she found out I had no pairs of other clothes to wear.

She was like… A fucking goddess of sewing and… tapering. Next thing I know, I’m holding my own weight in clothes.

I picked an orange shirt and brown pants, closing the wardrobe shut with minimal effort. I then turned tail and made my way down the steps of this small, but yet comfy treehouse. My plans for today were, make food, eat food, cry about my life, converse with a Dragon, and finally sleep my pains away.

Most likely however, that plan would be interrupted by some crazy cliche invented by an unwilling puppet asshole. I'm intrigued to say in the least, to see if that may come to pass since I just had something horrible happen whilst sleeping…

Talk about nightmares...

I hit the bottom step with a soft thud, there were no handrails, so navigating using the dawn sun was a bit harsh. But I made it, kudos for me! The sound of awakening birds, and several other animals reached my ears as I grew closer to the kitchen. Along with noises, there were smells too, that excited me into making something absolutely amazing.

See, for the past few days, I've been able to show off my cooking skills to Spike and Twilight. Spike has the same gift as me, and is also awesome at replicating what I've made. But get this, he does it two times better.

Momma always said, that if you had fat on your arm, so that it hung off of you like an apple does to its branch, then you were a damn fine cook. I am skinny, don't have any fat (mostly just gristle), and look like a twig if you tilt your head to the left a smidge.

Main point, was I was able to take my taste buds on an adventure seven times over. This is the eighth due to our lunch being over at Applejacks… which was also one of my favorite cereals… Was it called Applejacks? Jack apples…

There was the cinnamon stick, and apple as the mascots… Yknow? Cinna-Mon?

Bah, anyway.

As on instinct, I checked the fridge, then the freezer, seeing what I could mash up in a jiffy. And normally whenever I close the refrigerator, Spike is standing there rubbing his eyes. It was like, he knew when I was in here. And today was no different, and no less of a scare. Ended up almost flying through the ceiling. Oh but Spike found it hilarious,

“Pfft, morning Tick.”

I picked my ass from the floor and reattached it to my bottom, “Good Morning… Spike.” I blinked, “Good sleep?”

SEE, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! Here I am, the first human to witness a fire breathing drake, and I ask it, GOOD SLEEP?

Seriously, throw me a cookie, ‘cus I'm a flipping idiot,

“More or less. Twilight never stopped wiggling though. Woke me up a couple of times.”

I leaned on the counter and flattened my gaze, “You sleep in a basket, bud.”

Spike threw his claws out, “She bucked me in my face!”

“You sleep at the end of her bed in a basket. And?”

He looked confused, “And it hurt?”

I smirked, “What'd we learn?”

Spike crossed his arms, “That you don't care.”

I smiled, “Good boy, NOW!” I added with clasped hands, “Should we create something new? Or be original and make something old.”

Case in point, we chose old.

O.o.O.o.O

My feet silently crept from wooden piece to wooden piece, slowly picking up a pace as they got used to the footing. I dived from a distance away into a section of that was which covered, and peered inside.

The sound of the ferocious thing roaring steeled my ass into a clench most foul. But I had to do this.

With a sigh of why must I, my faith pushed me forward and into the lair of the beast. It was pitch black, and hearing only the whistles of winds, I snuck over to a corner, allowing me to chuckle in relief towards my luck.

I breathed in through my nose and closed my eyes. This was it. How this ends, concludes my stay in this world. I have climbed in sweat, battled through the tears of what I was to do, and bled because of how hard Spike was to have told me not to do this.

“HEY TWILIGHT, WAKE THE-FUCK-UP!”

I simultaneously yanked the covers back and ripped open the blinds open with the force of a thousands suns, concealing my smirk with a face of stone. Twilight, screeched in terror, and clambered back into her bedside, eyes full of horror.

I put my hands behind my back and stood at attention, “YOUR MEAL IS READY.”

And then, I walked out.

Amidst my humble climb down the steps, I counted down slowly,

“3...2…1…”

Twilight tore out of her room like a wild animal, carrying a pillow in her magic,

“TICK!!!”

Uh-oh, three exclamation points people, she means business. I quickened my pace as she spotted me with bloodshot eyes,

“Oh would you look at the time!”

She like, fucking floated over to where I was in an instant and tried bashing my head in with that damnable pillow. The next moments of my life were filled with the unexploitable terror of trying not to die.

But it’s just a pillow!

NO ITS FUCKING NOT!! SHE STUFFED THAT THING WITH ENCYCLOPEDIAS!!!

“I. WILL. MAKE. YOU-”

Every period was another hit upon my frail being. And I couldn't do much but try not to gasp at the sheer idiocy at all this,

“Make me what?” I dodged a knowledgeable attack, “Learn?”

Twilight caterwauled, “YES!!"

Two exclamation points. She is nearing her tired state,

“Well what…” Another dodge, “Did you expect me to do?!” Twilight decided to become a Hogwarts owl and send an atlas at me via magic,

“LIGHTLY TAP ME? MAYBE JUST LET ME SLEEP!?”

I guffawed, “O- EH?? Let you sleep? man-” I ducked for cover as she tossed her telescope at me, “-the day you sleep in, is the day I eat my pants!!”

Twilight simmered down slightly, “You mean that.”

I poked my head out from behind her couch, “If the boot fits, you…” Honestly having a hard time coming up with an- OH I GOT ONE!!

“...book troll!”

O.o.O.o.O

“This is absolutely amazing… great job on the food guys.” Twilight said whilst chowing down on the delicacies Spike and I made, of and which with more blood, sweat and tears.

Then comes along Twilight, her with her encyclopedia stuffed pillow which was beaten atop my head with. Currently, I was holding an ice pack on the nice little goose egg the unicorn had given me, and thinking of ways to explain how I got it.

You see… A uh… Unicorn… Decided to assault me with knowledge.

Come again?

I got a feeling that conversation would be one hell of an awkward one to deal with. Considering that half the populace wouldn't believe me. Other half would be all, woah- you're all sorts of lucky.

Yeah, lucky I didn't DIE.

So I sat there at the end of the kitchen table, growling up a viable plan to use against the smarter sex. I knew it wouldn't work, but it put a little barrier between my murderous thoughts, and possible consequences.

The thing that pissed me off the most though, was how calm she was. Now, most people when they come at someone, are a little somber afterwards, showing a hint of respect along with maybe the slight joke.

Twilight obviously fucking forgot she'd just given me a concussion.

“Is that oregano?” Said she, the one of head crushers.

I responded with a, “No, it’s just an egg.”

Twilight blinked and looked down at her food, “Oh… Well I knew that.”

“Why did you ask then?”

Twilight shrugged, “I don't know. Conversation?”

“Ended. I have a headache for some reason, and I'm trying to avoid the confrontation you ponies like to call, talking. It’s also referred as, Speech or Communication.” I added after holding the wound I received earlier with a smidget of force.

Spike flipped a page of the article he was reading and chuckled, “Sounds like me on a bad day.”

I laughed, “Yeah me too.”

Twilight complained very quickly, “Oh seriously, how come Spike gets a nice joust?”

“Because Spike didn't hit me with a thousand-six-hundred and fucking thirty-two paged book NOW DID HE?!”

“You brought it on yourself.”

I threw a good arm out, “And how, might I ask, did I do that?”

Twilight looked down at her food and mumbled incoherently, “By rousing me from my slumber.”

“And so, because I tried telling you your food, which Spike and I ever so humbly prepared, was ready…” Spike shuffled in his seat at hearing his name, but didn't look up from reading, “You commit a crime and use me as a practice dummy for anger.”

Twilight went silent, and coughed after the only sound became Spike flipping pages, “Well when you put it like that…”

I said ever so sardonically, “It sounds like you were an ass-”

“Hole-” Spike looked up from the newspaper with wide eyes and covered his mouth quickly, “Oh, sorry! Were you two still arguing?”

Twilight gritted her jaw in skepticism while I grinned from my painful spot, “I don't know. Were we?”

Twilight smiled in false humor, “No. We weren't. What's up Spike?”

Spike fluttered the paper and chuckled lightly, “Well, says here, that Tick-” He directed the paper to me, “-not only made front line, but the news entirely!”

In big ass bold letters, and with a black and white picture, it said,

Human Sighting in Equestria!

What made me laugh the most, was the picture. Of course I'm creeped the hell out because the ponies somehow got a good photo of me but, it was the thing I was doing, the made me almost revert to tears.

They got me while I was sneezing.

Alright, yeah, I know, Get on with the story. Well the punch line, was me, along with a very surprised Celestia and tired Luna. The photo was taken (obviously) when we had reached Canterlot.

And as I read on, I soon found my smile fading slowly, replacing it with a more simpler expression. One I suppose my grandfather would be proud of. I placed a cigarette in between the lines and rubbed my forehead, letting out a muffled sigh,

“Who does the newspapers here? Ponytimes?”

Twilight bit her muzzle and looked at Spike, “I don't particularly know, actually, Spike, who prints these out?”

Spike shrugged, “Should say who the editor was near the top.”

I creased my brows and frowned, “Yeah well, Anon-Pony isn't a good start towards revenge. And this little smear on me isn't that heartwarming either.” There was like, a whole article showing various facts and little points of interest that actually surprised me. Spike had just basically handed me (In human terms) a shit-post. Or a more favorable term, Roast. Yes, I was roasted, and yes again, Many ponies have probably seen this. Which is just, Fantastic.

Many believe that the reappearance of this creature-

I almost spewed my water over Twilight… Again! Such voracious vocabulary, vehemently varied against someone, such as I.

It hurt. To be called a creature actually hit home- which is miles away at the moment. I closed the paper and chuckled, “Shits about to get real.”

Twilight flatbrowed, “Celestia said not to get into trouble Tick.”

“What she doesn't know, won't exactly hurt her, now will it?”

She countered with a heart stabbing, “When she finds out, yeah, it kinda will.”

Well jeezus. Such a… Buzz kill… “You're no fun.” I said finally whilst puffing smoke.

Spike laughed as he got from the table to wash the dishes gathered suddenly in the sink, “Welcome to my world.”

I said almost immediately, “Too late, been here a week and I fucking hate it. Thanks for the skepticism though, makes me feel real good about Celestia’s little pet.”

Twilight, completely off guard, took a moment to gasp aloud and look at me as though I had shot her. Which I did in terms of, Shots Fired. But hell, see how you feel when you got a stalker taking shots of you and then making an article about it. On top of that, I have to deal with the Elements of Chaos, AND Twilight's little anger management issues.

Oh, did I tell you about that? No, not the book thing, that's fairly new, and now I have to come up with a way to destroy every fucking heavy book in this library… Fire seems like a good choice…

But speaking of Fire, and the thing I need I tell you about, Twilight actually bursted into flames the other day.

I KNOW!! HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT?! I mean, I'm mildly (not) concerned for her safety, but she like, BOOM! Okay, okay, so, I'm in Twilight's spare room, trying to fiddle with my phone, right? Right, Twilight comes in while I'm popping the case off and asks me what I'm doing. I respond with my usual flare of sarcasm, which incites the short tempered equine to get frustrated. Pretty much told her to eff off and she tries to take what I have.

I don't like grabby grabbers, so we tossed and tussled around the room like a pair of nuts. Oh… Wait… WAIT WAIT, LET ME REPHRASE TH-

Ugh… Too late… It's already in the notes…

Anyway, I'm laughing my ass off because Twilight can't quite reach my phone, and she's getting purple…-er… One minute, Purple Unicorn, next minute, she's a flipping rip-off of the human torch.

No, Flame On, or nothing. Just, POOM,

“GIVE ME THE DAMN THING!”

Meanwhile I'm trying to stop drop and roll while at the same time, praise her for becoming the sun goddess Apollo. It was AWESOME!! But… on the other hand, we were both in a tree. And she was on fire. Near paper. Which was flammable.

See the picture?

But yeah! That was the shit the other day! Definitely gotta tell that one to someone when I get back...

“You… You take that back!!”

I blinked and tapped my head, grimacing just enough to show that the damn wound still hurt, “Yeah. Don't think that's happening anytime soon. UNLESS!!” I added with a finger pointed in her direction,

“You remove every book that exceeds the thousandth page limit.”

Twilight gasped again, “But...butbutbutbut-that's almost all of them!”

I turned slowly, “Sounds like someone might need to get to work.”

“And what are you going to do?”

I stopped turning and thought for a moment, “Eh. Never really thought that through. Pretty sure something will keep me busy though.”

Twilight gestured to Spike and then herself, “Are you going to ask us if we wanna go too?”

I blinked, and turned to one of them, “Spike would you like to come?” YES! Score three for Tick!

Twilight muttered under her breath, “Of course…”

“Oh shush. He hasn't even said yes yet.” I paused and raised a brow, “Did you?”

Spike shrugged and went back to doing his chores, “Sure. Just let me finish upon over here.”

“I'll be out front.”

Twilight waved her hooves, “DO I EXIST?!”

It was then, I decided to fuck with the nerdy nerd. It was fun, so back off and let me do my job. I sniffed and said lowly, “Spike… Did you… Did you hear something?”

Spike seemed to catch on very quickly and turned the running water off, “Yeah- I did… Whaddya suppose that is?”

Twilight was unamused, “I'm unamused.”

I looked around, “I don't know… Sounds a little, bitchy.”

Spike nodded, “Don’t know what that is, but okay.”

“I'm going to count to three…”

I gasped, “Wait! I think I hear something!!”

“One.”

Spike untimely ran beside me, “You do?!”

“Two.”

I waited for Twilight to say something, but was met with a flat stare and quite an unsettling persona. So I shook my head and waved a hand, “Nah. Must've been t’ wind.”

“Three.” Twilight poofed a fucking dictionary into existence and slowly stood. Now, I don't know about you people, but Twilight has an unnatural.. Or a better word being uncanny knack for slapping sense into you. Albeit you kinda go full retard for about twenty minutes, but the point is stricken across towards the fact that you don't want it to happen again.

So I screamed-(Manly like)-and pointed in fear, “SPIKE, SHE'S GOT A DICTIONARY!!”

“YOUTH BEFORE OLD AGE!!”

O.o.O.o.O

I swear, I set a high score for, max distance traveled w/shit in pants. Glad I set that (I was wearing brown, so I was good), but at the same time regretting it because now I'm out of breath, Spike is hating on me for creativity points, and we're hiding behind the Sugarcube Corner place.

“Tick...gunna...make sure…you pay…”

I heaved a few more times before answering, “Heh… gain a couple feet… And then talk to me.”

From the way Spike was smiling, I did a funny, so we kinda just lied there for a moment before recuperating. The morning sun was out, there was a light breeze, Ponyville was bustling; if it had been a place on earth, I'd look at it and say that it was a perfect days.

But where I come from, there ain't no such thing.

“Alright, since Twilight left you with no choice, Let's make the best of this and try to find something to do before we head over to Applejack's.”

Because y’know, Originally, Pinkie Pie wanted to throw an extravagant party in place, just for me. And I had turned her down-(regretted it later)-because I didn't even want to have a party at the time.

Now that I think about it, I've been turning down a lot of things lately… Starting with the Crusaders (A.K.A -The Little Heathens) rather than them being my little spies, they've been quite the trouble.

Pestering me and whatnot… Kids… Right?

See, just before Dashie made an owie-boo-boo, I got in touch with my inner devil, and twisted those three into striking a deal. It was easier said than done because we shook on the thought of them spending the night on my behalf.

Well when said pegasus did what she did, they all ended up spending the night over at Rarity's regardless. I got the deal hands down, but I may have gotten… More… Than what I bargained for. Honestly feels like Karma is a bitch, and she's looking at me laughing while try to explain this to you.

They are spying, yes. Damn good at it too. But I asked for important… information. I did not ask for the type of soap and shampoo Applejack uses to wipe her ass. One, it is way too much information, AND TWO, HOW DID THEY GET THAT INFORMATION ANYWAY?!

Very confusing. Like those catchy commercials you see almost everyday. Are you supposed to sing along to them? Or remain silent and hum to it…

I raised a brow, “Should we just head in?”

Spike crossed his claws, “You got some bits?”

“Do you?”

Spike smirked, “I do.”

“Oh, cool. I wasn't going to pay anyway,” I stepped over Spike and pushed open the sweet doors to Sugarcube Corner, “I'm flat ass broke.”

Spike snorted, “And?”

I began, “And… I’d like a cherry soda. Get that for me and I won't have to throw you back to Twilight.”

Spike blinked as I chose a small table to sit down at, “You… You wouldn't do that, would you?”

The answer was simple, “Pfft. No.”

Why? Well, let's say I am stuck here forever. The last thing I want to do, is piss Spike off, so that when he does grow up into a big ass dragon, he won't be spewing fire at me because of how golden my attitude is. Securing the foundation of my future is all…

The place was packed lightly. There were a few ponies here, a few ponies there, even a few ponies doing a Lady and the Tramp thing with the spaghettis and meat-a-balls. Meanwhile I sat alone waiting on Spike to hurry his scaly little butt up.

But there's a problem when you are alone. You start to think about stuff that really doesn't pertain to anything that relevant. Like that dream I had earlier this morning. Haven't had a vivid dream to date, and the first one was like something out of a slasher movie.

Granted, I don't remember much of it (which is weird because it was a vivid dream…), but I'm also half glad that I don't. It'd be a pain trying to relive the crap that goes on in my head.

I digress. In the words of Reichtoffen, “These companions could be the key…” Then says stuff like, “I smell my own blood!… FEAR ME.”

Why does that even… Never mind. Just disregard the above statement. I'm already miss my video game system back home… I must find the portal and connect it…

“Table for two?”

I blinked back to reality to find some mare staring at me with a smile. She had a fiery mane and a almost butterscotchy coat. No. I don't think you know what I mean when I say she had like… Fiery hair. Anyways, she was wearing some kind of jumpsuit and goggles, which were atop of her head, allowing me to see her orange eyes. The suit was blue and had a streak of lightning on it, Which, I might add, almost made me yell out HOGWARTS?! I then would've proceeded to glomp the crap out of this unknown mare.

Since I didn't know this pony, and she was being rather nice, I decided not to be the asshole… For now,

“For that question, may I inquire why you asked?”

The fiery mare shrugged, “You looked a little lonely, So… I asked.”

I smirked and leaned forward, “Well then yes. It is a table for two. Me, and my loneliness. It's quite a pairing actually.”

“Aw… It seems like your loneliness has left you… I'll just,” She sat across from me, “Sit here until it comes back.”

A play on words that was very well done. I tip my hat to his mare.

“Spitfire.”

Captain Of the Wonderbolts… Of fucking course… Well this is surprising. Wouldn't you say so? I mean, what're the odds of running into someone such as her? And away from Canterlot too. Man… Must be on a break or something.

I nodded and smiled back, “Nice to meet you Spitfire.”

Pfft. Thought she'd get my name. HA, whadda load of b-

“You must be that Tick fellow I've been hearing about.”

Fuck… “Shit. My cover has been blown, I hope you know I have to go into hiding now! Thanks a lot you… secret spoiler.” I said pouting.

Spitfire giggled, which oddly enough perked my spirits a smidge, “You'll be fine. I understand how that feels.”

I nodded, taking a moment to see Spike having trouble ordering the drinks, “You should. Considering you're that Wonderbolt Captain fellow Dash raves about.”

Spitfire held her hooves up, “Guilty. But as charged, I feel a privilege from being recognized from you.”

Sexualy? Or because I'm human… Hard to tell during times like these. But all in all I'm kinda giddy for this conversation,

“Fair enough. Shouldn't you be in Canterlot though?”

“I'm not allowed to be in Ponyville?”

I frowned, “No you're not. You're a disgrace to pony kind and very much a villain because of your thirst for sarcasm.”

Spitfire sucked in a breath, “Oh that was good.”

I pointed, “Say something snarky again and I'll do even worse.”

“You are a funny guy. Okay, since we're sharing a table, I'll bite. I'm down here because I had a word with Shining Armour. Know him?”

I laughed, “HA! Know him?” I deadpanned, “Unfortunately. Considering he is the only other dude in this universe, I had a hard time getting rid of him.”

Spitfire smiled, “Well, in Canterlot, he advised… a specific order.”

Oh nu! Order 66!! RUN, TICK, RUN!!!

“He told me to watch over you.”

Oh well that isn't so bad. Everything went better than expected I guess, “Sorry there Cap, but I already got a guardian.”

“Twilight.”

I smiled, “And Luna. And Celestia. And pretty much everyone I met in this place.”

Spitfire whistled, “Oh no. What ever am I to do?” She pretended to think, “Well I could just… Trot away from this with a heavy heart… Or say that I'm going to give you this.”

She somehow produced an orb. Now, before you go, Wow that escalated quickly, the orb was placed into my palm and I immediately fell in love with it. It was smooth, shiny, and practically glowed as I sifted it around,

“Alright, now I'm intrigued. What the hell is this?”

Spitfire crossed her fetlocks and shrugged, “It's a precaution.”

I held my forehead and shook the object in front of her, “I'm. not. a threat.”

Spitfire chuckled, “Yeah, I could tell that as soon as I came in the door. You act tough, but just can't back up your words with muscle.”

“You are pushing my buttons, woman. Don't test my patience lest you wish to see my true form.”

Spitfire sniffed, “The day you force my hoof, is the day I chug a gallon of sweat.”

“You will regret, saying that. I don't fucking need anyone watching my every move!”

The mare sighed and scratched her head, “Frankly, Shining was surprised about this too. Originally, he was suppose to give you that, but his fiancé demanded attention, and it fell onto me.”

I tossed the sphere back and forth, “Why couldn't Twilight or, Luna give this to me.”

Spitfire poked me, “Because this is something we came up with last moment. Tick, those Elements are your only hope. Really. As young in the mind as they may be, you can't be on your own when the Elements of Chaos come barging on your door.”

“Considering you're like… What… As young as them?”

Spitfire smiled, “Young, but Experienced.” Rolling her eyes, she continued, “We need to make sure you're okay. We being the guard and Celestia herself. All you need to do, is crack the ball and you'll be sent to Celestia's throne room.”

I looked at the clear ball and said slowly, “Crack it?”

Spitfire shrugged, “Or smash. Either works. Just…” She sighed, “It's a work in progress, and if you…”

“Get it wet, I'll explode?”

Spitfire, “Hah. Funny. Great power, great responsibility, yadda yadda, you seem to be the type that won't lose it on purpose.”

I laughed, “I don't know… You might find it up Dash's ass or something. Next thing you know, you got shit piling on Celestia's floor.”

Spitfire giggled, “As funny as it may be, Don't lose it. And if you get into trouble, smash it. Simple.”

I raised a brow as the fiery captain stood, “So that's it. You're not going to grab something to eat? Regal why you had to be the one to talk to me? Maybe sit down, listen to my sad story?”

“Nope.” She said simply, a wink shot my way, “I gotta get back to work. Taking time off my shift to see you was kinda a waste, so… Yeah.”

I let out a huff and dismissed her with a wave. And like that, she was gone, and the place went back to its usual tremor of talking. It was like the entire shop had been silent while we conversed. But it wasn't the case as per Spike had waddled up with the same expression as he had left.

“You okay Tick?”

I blinked and looked down, “Eh? Oh… Yeah I'm fine. Did you get the drinks?”

Spike hopped onto the seat across from me, “Yep. You almost ready for Applejacks?”

As he handed me my drink, I couldn't help but sigh in vain. Was I ready?

No… I wasn't. I have stupid ass dreams, have to worry about a pony who posts newspapers about me, the party is in a few hours… And then there is the ponies who deem it necessary to spy on my privacy.

In all truths, I'm shit out of luck and so very far from the place I call home. Soon, though, I hope I'm able to leave… In any way possible too…

Damn that was a good soda...