//------------------------------// // The Second one // Story: Discord's Bored // by Frosty the Batty //------------------------------// “I look forward to being friends with you as well.” Richard said. “So… Uh… When do we start?” “Right now, actually.” Discord snapped his talons. And the world went black. Richard groaned as he came too. It felt like something hit him in the back of head. Only, without the pain, just a dull throbbing was present. He opened his eyes quickly though, remembering what transpired before he blacked out. He sat up when he realized he was lying down. He found himself in the middle of a field. “Welcome to Equestria!” Discord said. He appeared on Richard's right side. Richard jumped up to his feet, or rather, paws now, with excitement. As being in such a magical land could have that affect. “But, before we continue, would you like to change your name?” “Uh… Why would I want to change my name?” Discord raised a brow. Giving Richard this look the asked ‘Really?’. “It would appear that I happen to know the shortened version of your name.” “Oh… Oh! Right! Uh… Rick. Yeah, I'm gonna change it to Rick.” “Very well. Oh! And one last, last thing; what approach do you want to take? Would you like a blunt arrival? Or would you prefer a rather sneaky entrance?” Rick thought about that for a minute, stroking the fur under his chin. The action eliciting an exhilarating feeling. “Actually… I was thinking I could start causing mayhem before anybody knows me.” Discord blankly gazed at Rick, he then let out a shrill squeaking noise while clapping like a little school girl. “Oh, you are just full of surprises. Alright then off you go! Arrivederci!” Discord said right before he disappeared in a pink cotton candy cloud. Which then flew off in a random direction. Leaving Rick to find out how to activate his abilities, including his hidden arms. “Great…” Rick sighed, he really needed to ask Discord how he could use bullet time and the other stuff. “Well.. It shouldn't be that hard to find out…” Rick decided to start with bullet time. He thought it could as simple as thinking about time slowing down. So he sat there for a few minutes, thinking about time slowing down. He was about to give up when he heard something. You know that sound you hear in, say, one of those 'Slow Mo Guys' videos. That sound when the video slows down? Yeah, Rick just heard that noise. It sort of startled him, making him lose his concentration. His eyes snapped open, he hadn't realized he closed them. And then he heard the same sound, but in reverse. There was sense of peace about him before time resumed its normal pace. “Well, that’s good to know… Just think about it and it happens.” Rick spoke to himself without realizing it, it made look a little crazy to the animal jigsaw observing him. But then again, everyone does that when they’re alone. So when does that really matter? Anyway, cut scene to Discord watching on from his cloud disguise as Rick figured out how to… eh… ‘bring out’ his extra set of arms. Discord snickered when he heard a sigh of relief from Rick; the imbecile completely forgot that he didn’t have holes for his second pair of arms in his shirt. Rick then discovered how to retract his lower arms. Maybe to avoid ripping his shirt. He then nodded to himself, seemingly becoming determined. Rick then started for Ponyville. *Oh~ Let’s see what this little ape is capable of...* Discord thought to himself as he followed Rick. It has only been three days. Three. Days. Discord couldn't believe the mass panic he was witnessing in Ponyville. There were ponies literally running around in circles, some smacked into each other, and others just stood still, not knowing what to do. Discord saw the girls standing in front of town hall with the mayor. He heard them yelling things they thought would help the citizens calm down. It wasn't working. He teleported over to Fluttershy, nearly scaring the poor mare to death. “Fluttershy my dear, what is going on?” Discord asked, feigning ignorance. “W-we don't know,” the shy pegasus answered. “They keep yelling about something always moving there stuff around. But, none of us know what they mean.” “I see…” Discord hummed. “Ya’ll wouldn't happen t’be the cause of all this mess would ya?” Applejack asked with a scrutinizing glare while crossing her arms. “Moi?” Discord asked, putting a talon to his chest. The apple pony nodded. “Well, while I certainly would want to take credit for all of… This.” He gestured to the panicking ponies. “As hilarious as it is. I cannot, for it was not me, this time at least.” “Oh yeah? How would we know you didn't make all this mess?” She asked. “Oh, Applejack! You wound me!” Discord cried as he turned away. He held his paw up to his chest, completing the ‘emotionally hurt’ look. “But, I can honestly say that I am not the true culprit.” Discord said with a contempt nod. “Well… Alright. I'll be trustin’ ya this time.” Applejack relented. “But if yer lyin’-” “Girls! Look!” Twilight shouted. Everyone looked to where she was pointing at. The saw half of a silhouette disappear around the corner of a house. It looked like some short-statured creature. A big, floppy, something on its head told the girls that whatever that was wasn't a pony. “That must've been the pony behind all of this!” Twilight exclaimed. Why she called the thing a pony, we shall never know. “After it!” Rainbow shouted and bolted towards the corner. *Don’t let them catch you. The girls just saw you.* Discord telepathically told Rick. There was no response for about five seconds. *Woah, Discord was that you?* Rick asked. *T’was moi my ape friend. Did you hear what I said?* *Yeah; don't get caught.* *Spelndid! Meet me at Fluttershy’s when you have lost them.* *Alright… See ya there.* ... Hmm? The you’re a bit confused? About what exactly? … Oh, that… I did put the ‘Anthro’ tab on this fic for a reason… ... Oh, well. Might as well backtrack a bit from Rick’s point of view. “That mother fucker...” Rick said with a smile. “Neglect to tell me every pony is anthro will ya.” Rick chuckled. “Hmm… at least they look proportionate for anthropomorphic, biped ponies.” Rick wondered why those weird Source Filmmaker models came to mind. Not the Equestria Girls kind. The kind where it's just a regular human body with a pony head attached. But, the ponies here look like some custom model an animator creator with proportions in mind. Anyway, Rick pushed that observation aside and brainstormed where he should start having fun. Discord didn’t really leave him with much to use. Just only his super power- That’s it! Rick could use his Bullet Time to slowly mess with the ponies. He could start by moving things a couple of inches from their usual place. Sure, it sounds quite lame. But, imagine noticing your personal belongings not in their usual place. You didn’t move them, something did. And whatever, or whoever it did, decided to break into your home and not to steal anything. Then it persists, to the point where even the fridge is in the living room. Oh~ Anyone would lose their shit if that were to happen! And, well, Rick is going to find out how these ponies react… “Discord?” Rick asked. “Hmm?” He responded, he looked down at Rick. “Oh. When did you get here?” “As soon as the girls ran off. What were you thinking about? I had to call you three times!” “It’s nothing you have to worry about.” Discord waved it off with a paw. “Anywho, you’ve been busy the past few days!” Rick smiled widely. “You like what I did?” He asked hopefully. “‘Like it’?” Discord asked. “I love what you did with this village! And in so little time as well! I hadn't a clue humans could work so quickly!” “I know, I’m awesome.” Rick blew on the non-existent ring he was wearing and cleaned it off on his chest. The little action eliciting a chortle from Discord. “Hey! There it is!” Both Rick and Discord froze, their head simultaneously swiveling towards the source of the voice. Turns it, it was Rainbow Dash. Right behind here were the rest of the Element bearers. Before anything else could happen, Rainbow’s wings flared. And, with a single, powerful flap, she launched herself at Risk. Her speed nearly reaching ‘Sonic Rainboom’. A noticeable little thing to Rick; her hands looked ready to choke him. So, he did the best thing he could. The world slowed around Rick, he then calmly walked over to Rainbow. Grabbed her left wing. And angled very subtly downwards. He then walked back over to Discord, and sped up time. A number of events took place when time returned to its normal place. First, Rainbow suddenly found herself spiraling out of control. Next, her face meet the lovely dirt beneath her, a decent amount making it into her mouth. Next, two sets of hysterical laughter filled the previously still air. The dust cloud from the impact slowly dissipated, revealing Discord and some alien creature leaning against each other laughing their heads off. Shocking the already startled element bearers, minus Rainbow. Nothing else happened after that, for a good minute or two at least. The whole scene just seemed too surreal to the mane six. But eventually, their leader, Twilight, was the first to recover. “Discord!?” She got no answer. Said chimera was too busy laughing. “Discord!” That got his, and the alien’s, attention. Never having heard Twilight’s version of the Royal Canterlot Voice before. “What are you doing with that… that thing!?” “Hey!” Rick called out indignantly. “H-he’s a friend of mine.” Discord chuckled out. “Are you kidding me?!” Rainbow instantly sat up. “And whatever he is made this mess too huh?” She asked, not expecting an honest answer. That, however, is just what she received. “Yes, actually.” Discord. “This lovely little friend of mine is the true culprit. Quite entertaining, really.” “Ya’ll serious?” “Quite. And I must say, that was fine work.” Discord said while patting Rick on his back. Rick would’ve smiled, however, the looks on the girl’s faces hand't promised pain and suffering. “Uh… Discord?” *Poof* “You mother fucker.” “Get him!” Rainbow shouted, she lunged for Rick again. Only for Rick to appear a few feet to his left. Allowing Rainbow’s face to get reacquainted with the ground. Twilight thought she knew what was going on, and used her magic to restrict the little nuisance. Rick didn't react to it though, and stayed still. Twilight found it a little odd, but shrugged off and picked up the creature. But it didn't happen. The young alicorn's eyes flared up when Rick didn't move. She looked at Rick, a smug grin showing off his pointed teeth plastered on his face. “What!?” She tried again to lift him of the ground. “How!?” She huffed, releasing Rick from her magical influence. “Science!” Rick said before he instantly appeared next to Twilight, his maw no more than two inches from her ear. “Beeyach.” He whispered, then disappeared before Twilight could do anything. Meanwhile, at Fluttershy's Cottage. Rick blinked into existence, and immediately looked around angrily. “What the fuck Discord!?” Rick said aloud. “You threw me under the fucking bus!” “It was hilarious! Was it not?” Rick whipped around and glared at the reject muppet. “Screw you.” Rick said with a smirk. It was kinda funny, the look on Twilight’s face was well worth it. Discord saw the smirk and chortled. “But, now what? They’re pissed at us.” “Oh, you leave that to me.” Discord said with a dismissive wave. “The girls are quite easy to deal with. Well, after they simmer down.” “Alright… What now though?” “Now, we wait. I believe we may have ruined the surprise. Or at least, presented it rather early...” “Naaaaw,” Rick said with a heavy rasp. “Really? I did not think so!” Discord actually glared at Rick. Which made him freeze, who knew a glaring Discord was downright terrifying? “While I do like sarcasm as much as the next interdimensional being. Now is not the time, nor place, for we actually have some very upset mares pursuing us.” “I guess. But wouldn't some half-assed apology work for them? ‘Cause really, I didn’t cause any damage. Well… not property damage anyway.” Rick suggested. Discord pondered this, it sound like a good idea to him… “Hmmm… I suppose that may work. Since that worked with the Smooze…” “Who?” “The Smooze! My good ol’ friend! Haven't you watched that little cartoon you humans created about us?” “Well, yeah. But I didn't watch it a lot.” “I see…” Discord narrowed his eyes for a second. He thought most socially awkward human males watched that interesting little cartoon, like Rainbow Dash with those adventuring books. “Ah. It doesn't matter.” He said, waving it off with a talon. “But, yes. You will apologize to everypony. I will simply explain that you are my friend. And everypony lives happily ever after!” He cheered. “Sounds good to me.” Rick said. “Really?” A surprised draconequus asked. “Yeah. I'm the one who was having fun, while you were watching.” Rick stated in a matter-of-fact tone. This revelation left Discord flabbergasted. He thought it would've taken more work to put blame on Rick. But he soon broke out into a huge smile. These humans are just full of surprises! “Marvelous!” Discord clapped his mismatched hands together. “But now… what sort of cover story shall we use? I could always tell the girls we’re just good friends, and you just wanted to have some fun. Something along those lines...” The ancient chimera started brainstorming a few ideas for a believable cover story. To at least divert attention away from himself. Negative attention, anyway, that stuff really dampened his mood. “I got an idea...” Rick said meekly. “Oh? Well please, do tell.” “Well. I thought we could go with me being your friend, n’ stuff. But, like, you could tell them without me hearing about it that I’ve been going through some serious stuff back home, since that’s kinda true. And you saw that I was sad or something. And being the good friend you really are, you decided to take it upon yourself to bring a smile to my face. And you couldn’t think of any better way to cheer me up than bringing me here.” … … “You humans are absolutely full of surprises! I love it! Playing the victim card? Genius!” Discord praised the little human. “Thanks, I know I’m smart.” Rick said while striking a somewhat heroic pose. His little chest puffed out and all. But the smug look on his face just made Rick look more like an annoying frat boy who just won a beer drinking contest. The look eventually went away, as Rick wanted to plan out their little cover story. “Anyway, here's what we're gonna do…” Rick began while Discord listened with rapt attention, for once. “A-are you sure they're here?” A nervous pegasus asked. “It's the next logical place considering Discord.” A studious alicorn said. “Knowing him, he's most likely waiting for us with that creature.” She reasoned. “Ah wonder what sorta excuse the varmint’s got this time.” Applejack griped. “Whatever excuse it may be. It better be more than a simple apology.” Rarity huffed with a flick of her mane. The others, minus Fluttershy, murmured about their own problems with the draconequus. They agreed that, while Discord does mean well, most of the time. He can be a little… Ah… odd. In showing his intentions. To say the least. As the group approached Fluttershy’s cottage, they quickly noticed the living Jenga game and the little nuisance. Said little thing noticed them running towards them over the bridge. Discord, having noticed his friend's gaze. Turned to the girls and regarded them with a semi-serious expression. The straight line that were his lips startling the mane six into halting their advance on them. The air became still, tension building, the girls fearing the worst; getting the Spirit’s of Chaos ire. Discord eventually walked over to them. Each element bearer tensing more and more every step he took. He paused his walking so that he was just a few feet away from the girls. The area remained silent for a little bit more. Until Rainbow decided to engage the ancient draconequus. “Discord! What are y-” “We need to talk, girls. About my friend over there.” Discord interrupted Rainbow while throwing a thumb over his back toward the little orange creature. The girls, especially Rainbow, clammed up and kept their words to themselves while explained everything to them. His steely gaze prevented them from speaking either way. All six Elements of Harmony froze, then gulped.