Planet Hell: The Redemption of Harmony

by solocitizen

18. The Long Dark Night of the Soul

That night he didn’t dream of the sky. Instead, he wandered through a pine forest beset by a storm. He couldn’t see where he was going in the dark, and the cold of the wind and rain battered his ear and nose and drowned them out. All he felt was cold, and the pine needles beneath his hooves.

A light ahead of him guided him on, and it kept him warm through the storm. He didn’t know how long he wandered, but at last the storm abated and he came to a small clearing. A ring of sycamores stood sentinel against the pines and the oaks, and once he stepped inside their branches drew shut as curtains.

Inside the sycamore trees, the rain abated and fire burned beside a still pool that cast his reflection. A pegasus sat across the fire, with his back turned to the sycamores and his purple mane billowing at the suggestion of wind. It was Thunder Gale’s father; at last through all his searching he had found him. He was too tired from the battles and the storm to rush over to him, and throw his hooves around him. So instead he collapsed at the edge of the firepit and waited for his father to take notice of him.

A wave of chattering and skittering rose up from the woods, but they flowed around the ring of sycamore trees like water around a stone. Green eyes flashed in the dark, and maniacal laughter followed them. Still his father remained silent and with his back to him. When the woods grew silent again, Thunder Gale spoke.

His father turned around and jolted back when his eyes landed on Thunder, sprawled out and panting from his flight through the woods. Then his gaze softened and he tossed a log into the fire. It burned brighter.

“I’ve found your sister,” his father announced. “She’s still out there, alive and well for the most part. She’s starting to come around.”

“That’s good, but why didn’t you try to contact me?” Thunder Gale shook out his mane and sat up like a dog. “I fought through changelings, a goat-headed devil, and our own pegasi to find you and bring you home. I lost everything trying to get here, just to see you again.” He didn’t know what a changeling was, nor did he remember any demon, but the words rang true when he said them and didn’t dwell on them further.

His father glanced down at his hooves and his eyes wandered until he found the sycamores.

“The Empire is under siege, from all sides as well as from within, by an enemy I could never have imagined.” He met Thunder’s eyes again. “It’s not the answer that you want hear, but I never contacted you because other issues have to take priority.”

That hurt to hear, but Thunder Gale choked it down and didn’t show it. He simply stood up, opened his wings, and said to his father: “It’s time for us to go.”

“I can’t,” he said. “I’m still needed here. If I leave now your sister and the Empire itself—there will be consequences.”

“Damn it, dad! You’re not supposed to be this difficult. We’re supposed to go home and be a family again! Don’t you want that?”

“Of course I want that. You’re my son, and I’m your father. It’s all I ever wanted.”

A gust rose in from the beyond the trees and a pale moon shone out from behind a veil of clouds. He recognized the heron in its face, and the scent of pines on the wind. It was the same moon over Hellas, and the same pine-scent at the family villa in autumn. Only his mother, his sister, and himself ever took the time to vacation there as a family. No matter how much he pleaded, his father never came.

As he thought back to the villa a cold realization struck him in the gut: his father was never there. That life before the attack that he so desperately wished to return to, it was a fantasy. He hung his head and his knees quivered. The fire crackled on and the trees were silent.

“Dad.” He raised his spinning head and staggered forward a step.

Already his father had turned his back to him again, and faced into the trees beyond the sycamores.

“Father,” Thunder said again. “If you don’t come have any intention of leaving with me, then I have, then I...” his voice trailed off.

“Yes?” He turned around again and met his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.”

His father reached over to a thermos at his side and poured a cup of tea. He held it out to Thunder Gale, and waited until he stepped around the fire beside him.

It warmed his hoof and his cold stomach. He now had his father’s full attention.

“As a parent, it’s tempting to instill a sense of values into your children, but more often than not they twist and warp that very same personality you wish to bloom,” his father said. “I have my answer, but what does your soul tell you?”

“I made a promise.” Thunder set tea cup down. “There’s somepony else out here you needs my help. I let her down over and over again, and I have to make it right.”

“Then that’s what you must do, but I can’t make that decision for you.” His father emptied his thermos into his lid and turned to Thunder Gale. “You have to make your own choices, but whether or not you choose to go or stay, I won’t be around forever. Eventually, we’ll have to part ways. Children succeed their parents.”

“I know, but I don’t have to leave just yet, do I?” Thunder Gale chuckled. “I mean, this is the first I’ve seen of you in years.”

“You can stay here as long as you like; you’re always welcome at my camp fire.”

The cold, the wet of the earlier rain, and the skittering deep in the forest melted into the warmth of the fire as Thunder Gale sat by his father’s side. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but his father tossed in log after log as the fire rose and dwindled. The moon hung in suspense and the flames danced.

At last his father cleared his throat to speak again, but when he did he sang:

That voice Thunder remembered, from every speech and lullaby his father ever gave, down to his final words of encouragement right before his birthday. Every pegasus knew the words to that song, and he join his voice with his father’s.

When they had finished singing the curtain of sycamores peeled back and the lights of a town shone on through the branches. He stood up and put one hoof in front of the other until he reached the edge of the sycamores. The rain had loosened its grip entirely and the moon glowed in a clear sky. It was time for him to go.

“Your friend needs you,” his father said to him.

“But if I go to her, I won’t be coming back. I can only save one of you.”

“You’ve chased after me for too long as it is.” His father raised his hoof to salute. “It’s time for you to live your life now.”

Thunder Gale raised his own hoof as if to salute, and then lunged forward and gave his father a hug. Then, he peeled himself away and stepped into the forest. He followed the lights of the town until morning.