//------------------------------// // Good Job Discord // Story: The Fugitive Draconequus // by Ironskull //------------------------------// My time is quickly running out. I should have tried to extract the information as to the whereabouts of my powers out of Twilight yesterday, but I simply had no idea how I could possibly go about doing it. Now I have until about noon today before my disguise drops. Which is why I now find myself waiting to greet Twilight as she comes down the stairs in the library. "Well, I wasn't expecting to find you up and awake this early," she commented upon seeing me. Well, it's time to go for it. I hope this works. "I'll get straight to the point," I said quickly. "I know how we can lure Discord out." "Really?" asks Twilight in surprise. "Really. Involving those crystals I mentioned a couple of days ago. I think it should be possible to make them give off a false magical aura very similar to his own powers. He will not be able to resist. There is only one catch. I need to know where his powers actually are." This has gotta work, this has gotta work, this has gotta work- "I don't know where Princess Celestia has hidden Discord's powers." My hopes plummet to the bottom of my stomach like a rock. "But- but you're the Princess's student!" I protest, making little effort to hide how upset I am suddenly. "You're the one tasked with trying to reform Discord and you don't even know where his powers are being kept?" "I'm sorry, but it's true!" insisted Twilight. "The Princess is only providing that knowledge on a need-to-know basis, and I don't! Need to know, that is. There is the slight possibility that Discord could trick me into giving him that knowledge, but I cannot tell him what I do not know, so it is far less risky this way!" Curse Celestia. Curse her for being so clever! "Well, then ask the Princess where his powers are then!" I cry. "That's the other thing," said Twilight hesitantly. "This plan of yours, it's- well, it's not right! We're trying to reform Discord! If we trick him and capture him, gaining his trust would most likely become almost impossible!" "I can't believe you still want to reform Discord!" I cry with genuine confusion. "I thought we were trying to detain a dangerous delinquent! What about what he did to your friend, Rarity? What about what he did to you? And what about what he did to me?" "He's just trying to be himself!" Twilight cried back. "And he didn't actually hurt anypony! At least, not physically! Did he hurt you?" "Well, no. Of course not." "Forgive me for being blunt," said Twilight, "but I think Discord needs your forgiveness! No, he does not deserve it, but he does need it! Discord would not even consider becoming a friend of ponykind if he believes that ponies everywhere will forever ostracize him because of the past! He does not deserve to be forgiven, at least not yet, but hopefully one day he will, and he will be grateful that you gave him a second chance!" I am utterly baffled right now. I thought I thoroughly understood this whole friendship thing. But apparently I was wrong, because apparently friendship is so incredibly stupid that preemptive forgiveness is a thing! Not that I need to be forgiven for anything. But still, why in the realm of chaos would any sane mare still be so incessantly unrelenting in this foolish quest to 'reform' me, after everything she has been through? I realize that I am staring at her, speechless. This is starting to become a not-uncommon occurrence, it seems. Which is disturbing. Somehow, this twenty-or-so year old has repeatedly left the multi-millennia aged spirit of chaos itself speechless. "What makes you think that you have the slightest chance of befriending Discord?" I ask, very interested in what possible answer Twilight could have for that. "I have realized that making friends with Discord with things the way that they currently are is impossible." AHA! YOU ADMIT IT! "Which is why I am seriously considering the best method to employ to allow Discord to have his powers back." "YOU WANT TO GIVE DISCORD HIS POWERS BACK?!" My mind is blown again. How does this keep happening to me? How strange ability does Twilight Sparkle possess that allows her to so completely perplex me again and again? "I know!" she cries at me. "It does sound like a really bad idea, and it easily could backfire in a very bad way! That is why I am considering it so carefully!" "You mean that you're considering giving him back his powers before reforming him, right?" "Yes! Because I do not think it will be possible to get anywhere with him if I don't!" "I cannot even begin to fathom how you came to that conclusion." "Then allow me to demonstrate," answers Twilight. She lights up her horn with magic and suddenly her chalk board is summoned through the air and lands in front of me. Oh chaos no, not a lecture! I am about to protest, but at the last moment I decide to hold my tongue and see where she's going with this, if only because I want the truth. "The heart of the matter is motivation," explained Twilight, writing the word in large letters on the board. "What?" I'm totally lost. "Just give me a minute to explain," insists Twilight. "Now then, regardless of what species you are, every living thing has motivations, and aspirations. Take myself, for example. I am motivated by a pursuit of knowledge, for the sake of knowledge, and also for the sake of the betterment of pony kind. But we will get to that in a moment." She writes the word 'knowledge' above the first word, in smaller print, and then draws a line to it. "But my friend Rainbow Dash is unquestionably not motivated by knowledge. She is however motivated by competition." Twilight writes his on the board to. "In other words, she aspires to demonstrate that she is the most 'awesome' mare in Equestria. She desires to prove her superiority over others, at least in one specific category. "Now, I know what you must be thinking. It sounds terrible when I put it in thoes words, but they are true all the same. Rainbow Dash does sometimes act in arrogance, but her competitive nature also provides her with a wide selection of activities to bond with others. Most importantly, aspiring for superiority is one of the things that motivates Discord." I narrow my eyes at her as I begin to understand what she is doing here. She is analyzing me, attempting to understand me. Something which I obviously hate. And yet, so far, she is correct. I do feel the need to prove my superiority. It would be senseless to deny it just to spite Twilight. "And," Twilight continues, "it is through this motivation that Rainbow Dash most strongly resembles Rarity." Twilight thinks that Rarity and Rainbow Dash have something in common? That's absurd. Although... Rarity is motivated by competition, isn't she? She dreams of being the most desirable fashion brand in Equestria, and in order to achieve that, she is going to have to surpass her competition. Well, imagine that. I guess those two do have something in common. "Although," continues Twilight, "Rarity's motivation is more of a hybrid of competition and..." She writes another word on the board as she pauses. I realize that she is making a circle of words around the giant 'motivation' word. "Popularity," Twilight finishes. "Although, Pinkie Pie admittedly has her beat when it comes to popularity. And then, we have ponies who are motivated by material gain..." She pauses and writes the word 'wealth' on the board. "I simply don't have any friends who are motivated by wealth to any significant degree. To be perfectly honest, I consider the pursuit of wealth to be profligacy. Imprudent. Folly. Yet it is undeniable that there are some who are motivated by it anyway. "And then we have a motivation for simply having fun-" "Excuse me," I interrupt. "How many more of these are there?" "I'm almost done!" Twilight protested. "I've been talking for less than five minutes, for goodness sake! "Now, as I was saying. Some ponies are motivated by fun. Pinkie Pie once again being a nigh matchless example of such. Although, I have observed that very nearly everypony has this motivation to some degree. And Discord has it too. He fulfills his desires for having fun in questionable ways, but there is no denying that it does drive him." Well... fair enough, I suppose. Although, really she is just stating the obvious. Who doesn't love to have fun? "A person can also be motivated by their families. In some ways, it is similar to popularity because it involves making others the focus of your attention. My friend Applejack is the obvious example here, but, perhaps surprisingly, Fluttershy, another friend of mine, also provides unceasing care for her adopted family of critters. However, as far as I know, Discord is the only draconequues in the world, and I don't even know if he has a family. If he doesn't, then this category is probably the weakest one for him, particularly since I don't really see him as the adopting type. "And my final category is motivation by a great cause," Twilight continued. She wrote the words 'great cause' on her board. "Admittedly, this last category is something of a catch-all, as it can encompass a staggering number of different things. For example, I am motivated by my devotion to the cause of friendship and harmony, and I am devoted to the cause of the betterment of the Kingdom of Equestria, all of which are greater causes. And Discord... he is devoted to the cause of chaos, which also falls under this category." "Now, by plotting out a pony's affinity for these different motivations as a numerical value, we can create a radar chart. By looking at the shape of that chart, you can get a general idea of that pony's personality and values. Now, let's say that this is Discord's radar chart." For the next several dozen seconds, she scribbles away on the chalk board. Eventually, she finishes, and I resist the urge to scoff at what she produced. It could be more accurate. Still, it isn't inaccurate either. I suppose. "Okay..." I say uncertainly. "Now, watch. This is what happens to Discord's chart when you take away his powers." She quickly erased some lines and replaced them. The new chart immediately gains my full attention. The motivations of fun is almost bottomed out now, and competition is greatly reduced, but the motivation of great cause is now a giant spike that extends beyond the borders of her chart. "So, let me make sure I understand you correctly," I begin. "You say that taking Discord's power away has removed his motivations for having fun, and greatly reduced his motivation for competition." "Exactly." "But that can't be true," I argue. "Discord still wants to prove that he is better than everypony else, whether he has his powers or not." "Which is why that he gets as high a score in that area as he does. But the plain fact of the matter is that removing his powers makes him less superior. And all of the value that was removed from the motives of fun and competition have been relocated into great cause." "As what, specifically?" "Vengeance", answered Twilight darkly. "His devotion to chaos is still as strong as ever, but now he is surely also being driven by a desire for revenge for taking his powers away in the first place. The result is this giant ugly spike in the chart, but it's worse than that. With such low values in all other categories, the total area of his chart is alarmingly low. This is not a good thing, not in the slightest. And furthermore, this is our fault. And the only way that I can see to make it right is for Discord to get his powers back." ... ... Did Twilight Sparkle seriously just use logic to conclude that the spirit of chaos needs to have his powers returned to him? "I think I'm beginning to understand," I answer plainly, at a normal tone of voice, although with confusion still in my voice. "Have it your way. But... I still think you should at least use my plan as a backup. You do believe in backup plans, right?" Twilight did not answer me immediately. She's just standing there, weighing my argument. Finally, she begins to speak. "The chances of Discord doing something that is so horrible that he needs to be captured against his will are... frankly, not insignificant," she admits hesitantly. "Exactly," I insist, despite feeling slightly offended. "Very well then. But before I outright agree to go along with your plan, even as a backup, I want to discuss it with the Princess, and present your arguments to her. I'm sorry for initially disagreeing with you. Discord needs to be given another chance, but your concerns are valid all the same." Oh, thank chaos, she's going to do it! She's actually going to do it! She's not guaranteed to get the answer, of course, but my role in this has succeeded completely! Which means that it is time to make myself scarce... "Excellent," I declare to Twilight. "While you are busy with that, I have stuff that I need done in the meantime. It shouldn't take but a few hours." I have already decided that, in spite of my hatred of this disguise and the uncomfortable situations that it forces me to be a part of, I have to recreate the potion one last time. I'm much too close to obtaining what I want to chicken out now, for as stupid a reason as 'it makes me uncomfortable'. And so I plan on using this time to hurry back into the cave and make more of that potion. "You'll take somepony with you, right?" asked Twilight in concern. "Discord could very well be in a bad mood still." "Don't worry, I'll bring somepony to watch my back..." I grumble. This, of course is a lie. Even if I did need to have my back watched, and I don't, I know for certain that 'Discord' isn't going to attack me. And then I pull the front door open and begin the trek back to the jackalope cave. As I draw near to my destination, I suddenly feel something very strange at the edge of my magic sense. Something very wrong. I accelerate my pace, and I quickly find myself crawling into the chamber housing my minions. They immediately begin to chatter at me, but I don't have time to stop to deal with them. There is no doubt about it now. Something is very very very wrong with the primal magic node. If I didn't know better, and I don't, I'd say that it's surging like wild. That's bad. That's BAD. That's really really BAD. That is so bad. It's sooooo bad. It's so bad that it's not even funny. What in Equestria is going on down there? "No time to explain!" I shout hastily as I hastily gather up the bare necessities for spelunking. "Something is very wrong and I have to go see what in the name of chaos is going on!" The jackalopes make all kinds of concerned noises, but I ignore them at this point. Now I'm ready. I light the lamp and dash into the cave. I don't waste any time taking in the sights. There's no time for that. Before I can even reach the mushroom chamber, I start to see wildly fluctuating lights all over the place, originating from deeper within. The surge of magic is almost overwhelming to my senses. And that is really saying something. I make a mad dash deeper into the cave. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD- oh. I stop chanting this one word in my head as I finally reach the freakin' primal magic node, which basically looks like a rainbow lightning storm filling up the whole chamber. Yep, BAD. Suddenly, I realize that I am well and truly terrified right now. Even if I had my full power, I don't know if I could stop this. Then the thing starts exploding. I throw my paw and claw to my ears, trying to keep out the incredibly loud sounds coming from the node. Finally, it stops. What do I do what do I do what do I do I know perfectly well that the situation will only continue to spiral out of control and become worse if nobody stops it. I rather like living in Equestria. I'd rather it not become irreparably damaged. But what the heck am I supposed to do?! I feel so helpless right now! Suddenly, an idea pops into my head. An incredibly stupid idea. One that certainly won't work. It's still better than standing around like a moron. I approach the node, ignoring the overwhelming magic that is pulsing from it. It is incredibly fortunate that I am naturally magically resistant. "STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STAHP!" I cry at the thing, as though it could hear me. Of course, it can't. "You've got to stop!" I scream at it, and I reach my arms out toward it. And then I cup my paw and claw together, hoping to smother the magic out. WHY AM I SUCH A FREAKIN' IDIOT THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK! The light in the cavern becomes much dimmer as a result of my actions, but there is still blinding light shooting out from the cracks between my hands. Suddenly, I realize that this light is growing dimmer too. It starts off slowly, but the dimming rapidly accelerates and suddenly the light is gone almost before I can blink. "What?!" I scream aloud, uncupping my hands and staring dumbfounded at the empty, open air that the node previously occupied. "There's no way!" A node disappearing from the world was just somehow fundamentally wrong to me. It can change, sure, but totally vanish? That shouldn't have happened. I reach out with my senses, searching for the magic. My attention is drawn to the mushrooms growing in the cavern. They have traces of the node's magic within them still, but of the bloated, out of control kind. In fact, they are outright sick with magical oversaturation. What in the world, mushrooms! You were supposed to keep this thing under control! What happened? The answer hits me immediately as I continue looking around and realize that there are significantly fewer fungi than when I first discovered the cave. Uh oh. I abandon this trail of thought. The mushrooms have traces of the magic still left within them, but the source is still mysteriously and incredibly absent, and I am still completely flummoxed. Suddenly a wild idea runs through my head and I give myself an extra-thorough magical inspection. I am partially relieved and also partially terrified to discover that I did not somehow absorb the magical energy or something. That would have been bad. Of course, whatever is going on here is still bad. The magic is just gone. That's not how magic works. It doesn't just rage out of control one moment and then vanish in the next. Something must have happened to it. The magic had to have done something, it must have created an effect of some sort. It simply had to have. And it terrifies me to no end that I haven't the faintest idea of what actually happened. In spite of my mind screaming doubts and worries at me, I back away from where the node previously was and turn around and start running outta there. "Everything is fine now," I verbally assure myself. "Crisis averted. No more wild magic explosions." A natural source of magic has apparently just been obliterated and you have the audacity to say everything is fine!? I mentally tell myself to shut up. I don't listen to myself. You do realize that there is no telling what effects that magic might have had when it dissipated? I tell myself. If you're lucky, all of the magical energy discharged harmlessly. If you're not, then you might well have caused a fundamental imbalance in nature! "Why should I care?" I declare aloud, raving like a maniac. "I change the balance of nature all the time! No big deal!" Yes, but you weren't in control! Something tells me that you probably won't like whatever happened! And you KNOW something happened! You can feel it! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! "Not listening!" I cry out, staring at the cave wall, eyes probably glazed over. "I'm in the middle of the eye of the hurricane and everything is fine until I can't stay in the eye anymore and then I'm going to have a problem and-" "No, wait. I don't know for sure that something bad happened. I just have to go out and see for myself that there's absolutely nothing wrong! Yes, I'll do that! And I'll start by going back up and assuring my furry minions that there is absolutely nothing wrong!"