"Yeah. How about no."
"Pardon me?" Celestias voice was stunned.
"I'd rather not deal with this. At least for the moment. I feel like this is all jumbled up you know? Isn't there some kind of procedure that you have set in place in case of a ETB?" I asked, crossing my arms and sinking back into the bed slowly. "Extraterrestrial being. A creature not of your world."
"We do actually. We didn't expect any trouble like this however," Celestias voice was quiet. "Looking back on it now, I feel kind of silly for not thinking about it harder. That could have saved all of us a lot of confusion, and in your case pain." She sighed and rubbed her eyes with a gold trimmed hoof- how in the hell she did that without breaking a limb I'll never know- before gesturing behind her. "How rude of me, this is my younger sister Princess Luna of the Moon."
At that the smaller one stepped forward and smiled gently. "Good afternoon Evan Kelsier Wright, I am pleased to meet you and to see you awake." Her voice was quiet and had a slight musical tone to it, as if she planned on breaking into song the moment she turned away.
"Enchanted, your highness. Forgive me for being forward but where do we go from here? By now I'm assuming that my presence is known by the general public, or am I incorrect? If that's the case the best route of action would but to keep a guard around me for the foreseeable future, three groups of four, set on a eight hour rotation correct? Or am I wrong?"
"How were you able to figure that out?"
"It's me being a nerd. I played a lot of games, training simulations if you please, that pit teams against each other to complete certain objectives," I began to name off lists of games. "Battfield 1 and 4-"
"You were trained in two different wars?" Lunas voice was full of wonder. "But you appear so young."
"I almost got drafted into the army a few years ago but they turned me down." I smiled and pointed to my head. "I'm mentally ill. Bipolar, manic depression and social anxiety. It would have been a caustic mix."
The three ponies shared a look and Celestia stepped closer and narrowed her large magenta eyes at me. "This changes things. Answer me truthfully please. Do you plan on hurting my ponies at all?"
"I mean no offense by what I am about to say but that's the stupidest fucking question you could have asked me. I am one, one, single being on this god knows how big of a planet. I mean no harm, but I do mean this." I sat up and quickly poked her snow white snout. "Boop."
Shaking her snout she looked at me crossly before smiling. "Congratulations. No one has been able to boop the royal snout in a few hundred years."
"Where they too slow?"
"Quite the opposite actually. I had them put to death." Her voice was so formal and matter of fact that I began to sweat. "I remember the last one who did that to me. His name was Brick. Not very smart."
"Look out, we have a badass over here," I muttered quietly. "Look, you and I both know that I'm outnumbered here."
"You also managed to single handedly take down a squad of knights," Luna interjected. "Whilst injured."
"I was high on adrenaline. I was pretty sure I was about to die lady." I Narrowed my eyes and looked at the night princess. "Or should I have laid down and died?" When they looked away I snorted derisively. "That's what I thought."
"Evan Kelsier Wright, I-"
"Evan."
"I'm sorry?"
"Just call me Evan. You don't need to say my full name every time. It's getting annoying."
"What's stopping me from ripping the information out of your head right now?"
"I highly doubt that you could breach my mind if I know you're coming."
Her horn lit up with a golden aura and she leaned forward. "I do have the power."
I crossed my arms. "I'm sick of this shit. You want in. I dare you. Be warned, there is a darkness in the heart of man." Her horn touched my head and everything went black. Or rather everything took on a shadow that seemed to head into oblivion. I felt something buzzing around in my head. I trained my focus on it.
Fun Fact: The human psyche is composed of layers. If all of your concentration is on one particular item then there are no errant thoughts from any of the lower layers because the power from the lower functions are being rerouted into the primary focus. Or at least that's how it was explained to me. So in essence if you need to resist mental magics of any kind you must be able to completely empty your mind and focus on one single item, like it was the center of the universe. Once your mind is focused on the "center" you have a big ol whopping set of mental armor. However, if you lose focus your shield is gone and so is the information you were trying to protect. *
Celestia didn't expect to hit a wall when she approached the humans mind. To say she was surprised was an understatement. His mental armor was strong, terrifyingly so. Knowing that she could use brute force if need be she took the subtle route around, poking and prodding here and there, trying to expose any flaws. When she found none she proceeded to bombard his shield with small strikes that grew in intensity until she was raining down blows that she knew even Luna would struggle with.
His face remained impassive for the first few minuets but a subtle shiver or twitch here and there would give him away. Within five minuets he was shaking violently, his face an ashy color and his hands curled up into balls on the bed. It wasn't until he started dripping blood from his nose at an alarming rate that she stopped.
"Evan!" The human inquestion blinked owlishly and smiled. A gesture that was made horrifying by the blood that clung to his sking.
"Told you." With that he fell back, a snore escaping from his mouth.
"Double his guards."
"What?"
"Double the damn guards. He's dangerous Lulu. I was actually struggling to get into his mind. I didn't even get in!."