//------------------------------//
// The Turning Away 
// Story: Dearest Beloved 
// by BlackRoseRaven 
//------------------------------//

Chapter Two: The Turning Away
~BlackRoseRaven

Last Call licked his lips as he strode down the road with Furor tagging along behind him, feeling listless and uneasy as he did his best to not look back. He felt almost like they were being followed, but he knew that was just his mind playing tricks on him. Lectern was just a creepy old stallion who believed too much in old mares' tales, that was all. 
“So are you actually going to do this favour for Happenstance?” asked Furor suddenly, and Last Call halted and looked back with  a frown at the unicorn. “I mean, I thought you dealt with enough crazies as it is.”
Last Call grunted, looking away for a moment before he shook his head and said finally: “I can't really turn down Happenstance. I'd love to, but when you live on commission, the first rule is not to piss off the clients. I just... it'll just be a little bit of time out of my day, Happenstance will be happy, and... yeah.”
“Yeah.” echoed Furor, before the unicorn sighed and asked dryly: “Do you need some liquid courage? Because I sure as hell could go for a drink.”
“It's... it's too early to go for a drink.” Last Call said reluctantly, glancing away as he thought of the promises he'd made to the mare. And if he showed up with alcohol on his breath to her work... just. Just save it for later. “Since when are you scared of ghost stories anyway?”
“Since when the hell did you decide to be a good boy?” Furor asked, and Last Call gave him a dry look before the unicorn shrugged and said finally: “Look, I'm going to the bar. If you need me, I'll be there. If you're smart, you'll come join me and forget about this whole mess.”
“What, you afraid of Lectern or something?” Last Call asked, and Furor scowled a little before he snorted and shook his head. “I'll catch up with you later. You can come and-”
“Hell no. I've done my bit for today. No more meals with tubby and no more advice for you.” Furor retorted, and Last Call rolled his eyes before he frowned a little as he studied the unicorn. Sure, Furor was always obnoxious, but he felt like something was a little off about him. Like Lectern had freaked him out more than Furor wanted to admit.
“It's just stories.” Last Call said, and he didn't know if he was reassuring himself or Furor. 
Furor glowered, but then he simply grunted and turned away, waving a hoof absently back at Last Call as he hurried off. The stallion watched him leave, and then he sighed and shrugged to himself before he turned-
He halted as his eyes caught something irregular between the pleasant little houses spaced along the street, the stallion frowning uneasily before he spotted a filly standing in the spot precisely between the two homes, giving him the feeling that he belonged to neither, dressed in a heavy raincoat in spite of the fair, brisk weather of the day.
She smiled at him, her big red eyes seeming to pierce his soul, but before Last Call could even think of what to say, the filly was suddenly gone, vanishing in a flick of her coat. The stallion mouthed wordlessly for a moment, and then he shook his head quickly, grimacing before he turned to hurry on. I have enough to worry about without dealing with weird kids too.
Last Call made his way onward, trying to focus on the task at hoof. It felt like a thousand things were nibbling at his mind, making it almost impossible to concentrate on the one task he wanted to. He needed to get his head on straight before he went to the park, he needed to do something to clear his mind...
Why was he letting this bother him so much? It was stupid and pointless. Lectern was nothing but a crazy old stallion and... and oh, hell, that was just an easy explanation, wasn't it? 
He wasn't afraid of monsters under the bed or fairy tales. He was afraid of having to ask her for yet another favour, to feel like he was in her debt again, to be... less than a stallion.
Last Call scowled a little as he lowered his head, eyes shifting off to the side of the road even as he ducked past a pony, mumbling awkwardly in response to some happy greeting they spouted at him. Why the hell was everyone so nice? 
He snorted a little, wondering moodily if that mare was right: he did have to complain about everything. Well, no... that wasn't something he really had to wonder about. It was true: every time something happened, he whined about it. And she always just carried on, through thick and thin, as if nothing really bothered her...
He wished he was more like her. But he didn't think that he could ever bear to tell her that.
Last Call sighed a little and shook himself out as he walked towards the edge of town. The park office wasn't very far away: maybe ten, fifteen minutes out. He could get there in no time if he really wanted to...
He didn't really want to. And if he showed up like this, he knew that it would look bad. No, he had to calm himself down, get his head on straight. Stop jumping at foals and make-believe. 
The stallion nodded a little to himself as he continued down the road: it was only a few minutes before he was passing by the front of the parks office, but he barely gave it a glance as he continued on his way, following what was less a dirt road and more of a rough path through the wilderness.
He remembered when they'd moved out here together: Horses of Heaven, they'd both felt lost in spite of the path under their hooves, constantly second-guessing if they were going the right way or not because it seemed like they were following a road to nowhere. He'd wanted to turn around; she'd wanted to just keep going, of course, trusting that her colleagues wouldn't lie to her, that her friends were waiting just up ahead, that the job was there, the village was there, the everything-she'd-dreamed was there...
Don't be silly! she had laughed. My life is right here. Walking with me into the woods. And hopefully not running faster than me if we run into a bear.
She had always been a hopeless romantic. And he had hated how much it had made him smile.
Last Call sighed a little as he continued to follow the trail beaten through the forest, his eyes drawing slowly back and forth before he stopped and frowned a little. Just a few weeks ago, he'd had to walk to Canterlot, and as messy as the trail had been, there had still been a clear path through the woods. Was it just a trick of his eyes, or had the trail vanished from under his hooves?
“No, I guess... I took a wrong turn somewhere.” Last Call muttered to himself, even if a little voice in his head scoffed that that was impossible: how the hell did you take a wrong turn on a straight road? 
“Easy, when it's a road to nowhere.” he argued under his breath with himself, then he shook his head quickly before he approached the seeming-end of the trail, nervously pressing a hoof around in the tall grasses as he leaned back and forth, staring through the trees that he could swear hadn't been there a few weeks ago. But there was no more road: only endless forest beyond, terribly deep and dark and eerie.
He shifted back and forth on his hooves, then he shook his head quickly before he muttered: “I... I guess I must have been so lost in my thoughts that I did... maybe I went down one of the game trails or something. Yeah. I mean, Happenstance got here, right?”
He nodded briefly to himself, then he narrowed his eyes as he felt... something. A prickling along his spine, a sensation like eyes were on him. He shifted, and he heard the grass rustle against his fetlocks, felt the dirt rumble under his hooves before he turned around, and stared in surprise at the foal from before.
She smiled at him: a pretty young thing, dressed in her too-heavy coat, little red eyes peeking out from under her hat, green mane all dishevelled even beneath the lid of her cap. She tilted her head slightly as if to look past him, and the stallion frowned and glanced back over his shoulder at the forest behind him before the filly said gently: “You can't keep running away from everything.”
Last Call whirled back to face her, and then he blinked in surprise as he saw the filly was simply gone, the stallion mouthing wordlessly for a few moments before he shook his head vehemently, reaching up to slap his face a few times before he mumbled: “What the hell, snap out of it, colt. Did I really drink that much last night?”
No, he knew he hadn't. It had been a hell of a night, but he'd been hungover and sober all morning and he'd been fine during his meeting with Happenstance... 
No, he was just... he was tired. He was tired, that was all. That was why that asshole at the restaurant had freaked him out so much, that was why he was having so many second thoughts about Happenstance's request, why he was imagining ridiculous things, like that some filly he'd caught a glimpse of had followed him out here to a dead end in the forest.
He nodded a few times to himself as he tried to convince himself that he had convinced himself that everything was okay, even as that little voice in his mind asked him incredulously what the hell he was trying to do. But Last Call figured the best way to shut that little voice up was to put his back to the  plainly-impossible, the stallion turning away from the end of the trail and heading back down the path.
But in spite of all the work he was putting into telling himself what was possible and what wasn't, he couldn't stop his eyes from darting around as he made his way back down the gradually-widening trail, searching for landmarks, offshoots, anything to confirm he hadn't gone completely insane.
Last Call stopped beside a small offshoot, narrowing his eyes at the thin, not-quite-path that branched away from what was clearly the main trail, and part of him wanted to declare that yes, this was clearly the actual road to Canterlot, while the rest of him wanted to ask him what the hell was wrong with him and why he couldn't just accept the fact that... the road vanished? That's not possible. Or did... maybe the forest grows that fast?
What a miserable excuse that was. Unless a group of earth ponies had been coming out here every night for the last few weeks to fill in the entire forest...
Was that really so hard to believe? Clearly this festival was important to the townsfolk-
So important that there wasn't a single decoration, a single sign, that they had left it to Happenstance of all ponies to take care of what Last Call strongly suspected was going to be comparable to a bland 'haunted haytrail' walk for a mix of foals and snobs and ponies who took storytime way too seriously, like-
Like you?
Last Call scowled at... well, at himself. Of course, his first instinct was to blame her, but even if he could see that smile on her face so clearly in his mind, it wasn't like he could pretend she was the one saying that. Or that any time she had ever said it, it had been with malice; she knew just the way to prick him, the ways that would sting, but never make him bleed...
He shook his head, then looked up as he realized his hooves had carried him a little further back along the trail, and now he was standing in front of the parks office, the stallion looking uncomfortably at the front of this for a few moments before he sighed and dropped his head.
Well, there was no better time than the present. And seeing as his attempt to calm down had just made him more nervous – because I'm too tired, I'm just... tired, letting my mind get carried away with me, that's all! – he might as well get this over with.
God, he wished he'd gone for a drink.
Last Call mumbled to himself as he strode towards the building, squaring his shoulders as he pushed into the front of the office. As usual, it was mostly empty, with only one employee sitting at the desk, absently stacking pamphlets. The pegasus looked up as Last Call approached, before he blinked and straightened, knocking the pile of pamphlets over before he blurted out: “Hey! Call, uh... Last Call, you're-”
“Yeah, uh. Hi.” Last Call half-waved as he stopped in front of the counter, giving a lame little smile before he asked: “Is she around?”
The stallion stared at him stupidly, and Last Call sighed before he said finally: “Uh, Happenstance wants to do some... walk or something for the... convergence or the awakening or whatever the hell the local festival is. Do you know-”
“Oh, oh! Oh oh oh, yes!” The stallion seemed relieved, nodding quickly as he smiled at him. “The Alignment! I've only lived here a few years, but it's always been a big thing with the locals... it's a fun few days. I think normally the city council handles it, but I heard they didn't have the budget this year. I'll need to set up a waiver, of course, you know there's always politics and red tape to worry about, but yes, we'd be more than happy to open the trails for that night.”
“Uh... great, then. Yeah. I should... you know, probably go talk to my... mare.” Last Call said awkwardly, and the stallion behind the desk laughed a little and only smiled awkwardly, and Last Call took that as his cue to head to the back door of the park office.
He paused, however, looking back over his shoulder and asking before he could stop himself: “The road to town, uh... it seemed like it was... blocked off. Is that...”
The stallion stared at him for a moment, then he shrugged a bit before he said finally: “Well, uh... last year it got pretty busy and they got a little backed-up. I know some tourists usually show up... the hotel is usually full this time of year.”
“Impressive.” Last Call deadpanned, before he cleared his throat quickly, hoping that the pegasus didn't notice the sarcasm. He forced a smile, then turned away and headed out through the back door, keeping his thoughts to himself until he was heading down one of the trails.
It was much more peaceful back here: the trails were all clearly marked, and every intersection was marked by a light post with an old-fashioned oil lamp. Anywhere the path narrowed, simple string guidelines were set up to prevent people from wandering off the path, and ponies kept not only the paths clean and well-trod, but the branches above trimmed, so the trees couldn't block out too much light or the view of the sky.
Last Call found her near one of the larger intersections, trimming the bushes away from a guidepost: the rectangular, hoof-carved map illustrated the entirety of the         surrounding forest and its many trails, each of them marked a different colour. Last Call kept his eyes almost entirely on the sign even as the mare looked up curiously from her trimming, putting down the clippers before she asked: “Did you need something?”
“I got it sorted out. I guess...  I figured I'd let you know and uh... you know. Ask if you could work out the details, though...” Last Call mumbled, his eyes shifting away from her before he rubbed at his face, then scowled as he quickly drew his hoof back, looking grumpily at the mud he had stepped in without realizing it.
She smiled at him, then she strode over to him and gently brushed some of the muck from his cheek, and he winced a little at her touch, his heart doing a double-thud in his chest, her touch electric. His eyes almost shyly flicked to her as she leaned in towards him, and they looked at each other in silence for a few moments.
Then he quickly stepped back, clearing his throat and brushing at himself a few times as he lowered his head embarrassedly, chewing on his lip before he mumbled: “I uh... yeah. Just wanted to let you know and um... Happenstance, actually, Happenstance wants to bring people here for the... festival.”
“The Alignment? Oh, they want to do a forest walk?” the mare looked at him dubiously as she rested a hoof against his chest, and oh, how he wanted so badly to slip away, or at least control the beating of his heart so she didn't feel that thud-thud, thud-thud... “Call, you know-”
“I know.” Last Call grumbled automatically as he reached up to grasp her wrist, and he squeezed it for a moment before he let it go, sighing as he stepped back from her, letting his eyes drop as he said: “I just thought I'd let you know. About Happenstance. I already talked to the guy inside, said it wouldn't be a problem. Just... I know that... these are your trails and uh...”
“Thanks, Call. Don't stress yourself out, okay?” The mare smiled up at him, with her infinite understanding and her infinite patience, and he lowered his head a little before he grimaced a bit when she said softly: “It's not your fault that things... we're okay, Call. But if you keep closing off and refusing to-”
“I'm dealing with it. I'm... dealing with it, I promise.” Call murmured, eyes shifting briefly away for a moment before he took a long breath, then he nodded once even as he scraped uselessly at the ground and refused to look up. “I don't mean to pressure you, but this is... important to Happenstance and I said I'd make it work. I don't mean to go over your head, either, or-”
“You know I don't actually own these trails, right? My job is taking care of them and preserving the forest. It's what I enjoy.” she said gently, and Last Call smiled briefly.
“Yeah, I know. I know. It's why we came out here. They called you up and... we came out here.” he said, and she chuckled quietly before he murmured: “I... I wish things were different but I... I regret it less every day, I guess. Things... maybe you're right and the stress of it all is getting to me.”
The mare looked at him softly, then she reached up and gently touched his face: he tried to pull away, then winced when her hoof grabbed his mane, his head tilting to the side before she cupped his cheek again as she said quietly: “I just want to see you smile again.”
Last Call looked at her, and then he gave a tiny, awkward smile, and she smiled faintly back at him as she said softly: “It doesn't count when you force it. I know you're smiling for real when I hear you say my name. Don't think I don't know how you refer to me. Or rather, don't refer to me.”
“How else am I supposed to try and flirt with all the mares?” Last Call asked ironically, and the mare smiled at him in amusement: infidelity, at least, had never been much of an issue between them.
She shook her head, then she sighed a little as she leaned forward, resting her head against him for a moment before she slipped past. He turned to watch her go, feeling a burst of longing as he opened his mouth, but he still couldn't force himself to speak her name, to say all the things he wanted to say: all the things he had almost been unable to.
“I'm going to go talk to Rainy, make sure everything's in order. I'll see you back at the house tonight... right?” she asked, and Last Call smiled briefly before he nodded once. He half-wanted to walk with her, but by the time he found the courage to ask if she wanted company, she was already gone.
He lowered his head, then winced a bit as a voice remarked calmly: “Call. Funny to see you here.”
Last Call turned with a scowl towards the stallion who had spoken: the unicorn was tall, lanky, with cold, cold blue eyes. Eyes of a sadist, Last Call thought as he grimaced a little, his body tensing slightly as he said shortly: “Toad.”
“Toadfall. I prefer Fall, as I think I've mentioned before.” answered the unicorn, but he looked amused if anything as his eyes flicked past Last Call, and the stallion couldn't help but shift to the side to block Toadfall's line of sight.
That earned a thin smile from the unicorn, who asked in his cruel, sharp voice: “Trying to hide something? Perhaps you were frittering away time with-”
“None of your goddamn business.” Last Call growled, then he stepped forward aggressively, glaring at Toadfall, who only smiled back fearlessly. Sure, Last Call was rough-looking, but he was impressively average overall: Toadfall, he knew, came from a military background, his clothes, mane, and tail all cut and squared precisely, his dark-coated body thin but athletic. And those eyes... those cold, cold blue eyes... “Stay away from her.”
“I'll go where I please, especially when it concerns my employees.” Toadfall retorted, before he mocked: “I heard that Lily's daycare does sing-along every day. Maybe you can put your 'talents' to use there, if you're done writing little jangles for idiots like Happenstance.” 
Last Call scowled darkly: Horses of Heaven, he so badly wanted to punch this asshole out. But he trembled, when he looked up at those eyes, and that little voice started asking him desperately who the hell he was trying to impress and what he thought he was doing and this was a unicorn who-
“You just keep your eyes off my wife.” Last Call said finally, and Toadfall smiled at him condescendingly. Last Call only growled, however, before he turned away-
“I don't go back for sloppy seconds, Last Call. She was good, but not that good.”
Last Call ground his teeth together slowly as he glared over his shoulder furiously, but then he only shook his head sharply before he turned sharply away. He knew Toadfall was just mocking him, trying to lead him on, trying to make him do something stupid, and goddammit, he wasn't going to, he wasn't, he wasn't...
Last Call stumbled into a run, and Toadfall laughed loudly behind him, and god, Call wished that a tree or a meteor or the goddamn sun would fall on that bastard and crush him, just crush him out of existence, and, and...
Last Call stumbled half into the woods, dropping on his rump and telling himself he wasn't crying as he rubbed a foreleg violently across his eyes, clenching them shut as tight as he dared. Eventually, his trembling faded, and he breathed slowly in and out, sitting back against the tree and looking miserably up towards the sky as he whispered: “Coward.”
Coward.
Goddamn coward.
The stallion silently shifted back against the tree, looking down as he rubbed slowly at his face before he shook his head and closed his eyes. It was a lie, he knew. He didn't know why he let Toadfall get him so riled up. But the bastard always knew what to say, and always got the upper hoof, especially ever since...
He didn't want to think about that.
Why was it the worst people always ended up being the ones in power? Darlings of the politicians or with some seat on some important council? Why did they get to run villages and towns like their own little kingdoms, with everyone too afraid to stand up to them, to do anything about them?
Last Call laughed dryly to himself. No, that wasn't really it: Toadfall wasn't really all that. It was just that Toadfall was one of the village overseers, with his eyes on the mayoral seat, and he liked to haunt places where ponies could be found vulnerable, or alone...
Creepy bastard.
But really, what the hell was he doing out here today of all days? Was he really just wandering around here for no good reason, or had he been stalking...
God he should have punched him-
And then what? Gotten his ass kicked? And then likely thrown in jail for the night, because Toadfall was one of the ponies who controlled the town budget, and if the sheriff and his only deputy didn't do what they were told...
Last Call scrubbed grumpily at his face, then he frowned before he stared in disbelief as he realized a filly was sitting beside him... no, not just any filly. Her: the little girl in the raincoat. “Hey!”
“Hello.” the filly said, and then she winced only slightly when Last Call grabbed her by the shoulder, the stallion even more shocked to realize she was real. “I would appreciate it if you could loosen your grip.”
“You've been following me!” Last Call snapped, but the filly only looked at him, undaunted, and after a moment Last Call loosened his grip, grimacing but keeping his hoof on her shoulder as he said moodily: “Don't try and run away again. I want to know why you're following me, kid.”
“You seem like a good listener. And you need to listen, very well.” said the filly quietly, and Last Call frowned slightly. “The Alignment is coming. Not the festival, but a true Alignment... one that hasn't happened for centuries. You need to leave.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Last Call asked disbelievingly, and then he shook his head vehemently before he straightened and said flatly: “Look, kid, I don't get what you're getting at, but I don't have time for games. If you want to talk to someone about the Alignment or whatever, I suggest you go find that loon, Lectern.”
The filly only smiled, however, saying quietly: “Lectern has been here too long. He's too suspicious. He's old, and tired, and wants it to stop... but those ponies are the ones most easily manipulated by the darkness. If you gaze for too long into the abyss-”
“You fall in, right, got it. Look, kid...” Last Call stood up and scowled as he brushed himself off, before he looked back at the filly before he did a double-take as he realized... she's gone.
He looked back and forth, then circled stupidly around the tree before he mouthed wordlessly. The filly was gone, just... gone. “What the hell...”
He circled the tree stupidly again, then looked back and forth through the trees before he shook his head uneasily as he staggered backwards onto the path. He grimaced a bit, then he forced himself to take a slow breath, muttering: “Look. Everything... there's an explanation for everything. I don't care, I just... I don't care, it doesn't matter. No way in hell I'm going to join Happenstance on his stupid walk anyway, and I don't... I don't believe in fairy tales or...”
Last Call closed his eyes tightly, steadying himself as much as he could before he turned, swearing briefly under his breath. No. He had to get it together, he let that asshole freak him out and now he was letting little kids playing stupid games get under his skin... at least she was real, right? She was real and just making up some crap about this Alignment, like every other asshole seemed to be happy to do today...
Last Call scowled as he made his way back to the parks office, but he skirted the outside of it this time, not wanting to see anyone. All the same, he hesitated at a window, looking in to see that stallion at the desk writing something down as the mare talked away to him, before she paused and looked up, as if she'd felt his eyes on her.
He ducked away sheepishly, then turned and scurried towards the road and ran back towards the village before anyone could see him, swearing at himself again under his breath. He stumbled and slowed after only a few minutes, already tired and slouching, his head hanging low, his eyes downcast as he mumbled: “How can this day get any worse?”
“Hello there, Last Call!” Happenstance's voice came cheerfully, and Last Call slowly closed his eyes before he sighed tiredly and turned his attention in the direction of the chubby stallion, who came waddling happily towards him. “How are you doing? Why, I was just thinking that if you like, I can go over myself to the parks office... I heard that my good friend Mr. Toadfall is in town for the celebration!”
Last Call looked dryly at Happenstance, wondering moodily if he should point out that Toadfall wasn't the 'good friend' of anyone, but instead he settled on saying: “I already talked it over with my... my wife and uh, one of the park... officers.” Was he an officer? Or just a desk clerk? Oh hell, it didn't matter, he'd said it was fine. “Anyway, yeah. It should be fine. They said they've done it before, so... it should be fine.” I hope.
Happenstance smiled brightly at this, nodding fervently before he said warmly: “Excellent! I think I'll go talk to Mr. Toadfall all the same. He and I get along splendidly, you know. He would have been absolutely brokenhearted if we didn't get this walk done this year... but they just didn't have the budget! That's why I stepped in, of course... well, that, and it's such a pleasure, such a pleasure to help this little town out when it's given me so much!”
“Yeah.” For some reason, that made Last Call shiver, lowering his head uneasily.
“Dear boy, are you alright?” Happenstance asked worriedly, and Last Call smiled awkwardly. “I hope you don't mind me saying, but you look like you could use some rest.”
“It's been a long day. But it's still... I thought you were going to be busy until the afternoon-”
“Why, I was. It's four in the afternoon now!” Happenstance said with surprise, and Last Call mouthed wordlessly: where the hell had he lost all that time? No, he clearly remembered everything, and it had only been a few hours since... “I think you might need some rest, Last Call. Or... oh, we could get an early dinner together-”
“No, no, no!” Last Call said hastily, shaking his head vehemently before he gave an awkward, crooked smile. “Uh... I mean, sorry, Happenstance, I'll have to take a raincheque. I... I think I feel a headache coming on, that's all.”
“Well! Rest up well tonight then, and I'll make sure to let your wife know-”
“No, please don't. I... I don't want her worrying about me.” Last Call said, his eyes flicking briefly to the side, and Happenstance gave him a kindhearted smile.
“Last Call, don't go carrying these weights all by yourself. They're not all yours to carry. And besides, I need you healthy for tomorrow! I want you to enjoy the fruits of your labour!”
“A walk in the woods?” Last Call asked pessimistically, and Happenstance chuckled and smiled at this.
“It's more than that! I want you to see the smiles, the happiness, what the Alignment means to these people! And perhaps at the end of it all you could play a little music for us! I'm sure you must know Symphony for the Moon in A minor, don't you? It would be perfect!”
Last Call laughed awkwardly, looking away and mumbling: “I... I don't really play in public anymore-”
“Try.” Happenstance encouraged, and Last Call sighed a little before he gave a brief nod, looking awkwardly down at the ground as he scraped a hoof against the path.
“I have to go. But... yeah. I'll... I'll see you.” he said finally, and Happenstance smiled at him warmly.
“Excellent. I'm looking forward to it, Last Call! Take care!” Happenstance said brightly, patting the stallion on the shoulder before he strode past, humming cheerfully to himself.
Last Call looked over his shoulder at Happenstance, and then he shook his head briefly before he sighed softly and turned his eyes back ahead, shrugging once to himself as he made his way back towards his home.
He was tired, that was all. He was tired, and he needed some sleep. He'd drank too much last night, and made himself stupid for today, and now he had a headache and he... needed to sleep.
He just needed to sleep, maybe in his own bed, the bed he had shared with her. Maybe he could dream of the past they'd spent together and tonight, she would wake him up when she slipped into the room, and for a little while, it could just be them, and nothing else would matter.
But for now, he just had to get home, and into bed, and then... sleep.