//------------------------------// // Coco in the Office: Love Letters (aka Formal Complaints) from Suri Polomare // Story: Equestria is a Playground // by falcon4 //------------------------------// I have a desk job in design when I’m not working for Rarity. Surprisingly enough, Suri Polomare somehow found her way into it as well, for circumstances which I’m assuming has something to do with her dressmaking business turning into a flop. I’m not quite sure why she hates me so much, as I’m very certain that all of the other employees think that I am a pleasure to work with. My first run-in with her at work was when I bought burgers and fries for everyone, where she continuously railed me for being unprofessional with the choice of food. Naturally, the burgers were all gone by the time I was back from consulting a few people, with Suri there wiping off her mouth with an unused spreadsheet. I’m sure she would’ve eaten all the fries as well if Ms. Harshwhinny wasn’t with me when I walked in. We were always in sort of a feud ever since. Here are a few of the complaints she has filed against me. Apparently you are supposed to have a meeting on why the complaints are happening after two offenses, be put on probation at three, and fired at five. As none of the following has happened, I am quite disappointed at everyone managing these things. ---- Date: 25 June 2014 Date of offense: 25 June 2014 Person Filing Complaint: Suri Polomare Name(s) of person involved: Coco Pommel Type: Formal Description: -When I came to my office this morning I found out that there were phonebook pieces stapled all over the walls of my office. When I tried to tear them off cockroaches emerged from the pages, and it took me at least two hours to get rid of all of the pages and staples from the walls, plus the holes are still there. I know it was Coco Pommel, because it was just yesterday when she told me that she will make my office both sound and nuclear proof before lecturing me about paper and cockroaches, as I told her to keep the racket down in her office. This is wasting company time and damaging company property. Other: N/A ... Date: 7 July 2014 Date of offense: 7 July 2014 Person Filing Complaint: Suri Polomare Name(s) of person involved: Coco Pommel Type: Formal Description: -I was on my computer today and needed to send in a picture to inquire about a power drill, only for the customer service to tell me that they don’t sell ‘machine pistols’. I realised that the original file has been replaced, and it took me twenty extra minutes for me to find the picture again on the internet. Coco Pommel even admitted in doing it, telling me that she was doing me a favor in finding a tool that bores holes better than a drill while looking more aesthetically pleasing at the same time. This is violating my personal property, as I did not give her permission to touch my computer. Other: N/A (For comparison,) Original file: New file: ... Date: 21 July 2014 Date of offense: 21 July 2014 Person Filing Complaint: Suri Polomare Name(s) of person involved: Coco Pommel Type: Formal Description: -I brought in a jar of Nutella and a bottle of Coke this morning for lunch and put it in the refrigerator. When it was lunch time I found out that the Nutella was gone and was replaced by a jar of Cheese Whiz instead. When I went over to Coco Pommel to confront her about the matter, she told me that she locked it up in her fireproof safe and was ‘migrant proofing’ it by smothering it with pork sausages. Some of them were stapled onto her office walls as well. This is STEALING, as I did not give her permission to touch my belongings. This is also damaging company property, as she was stapling sausages onto the walls. That leaves holes. Other: N/A ... Date: 7 August 2014 Date of offense: 7 August 2014 Person Filing Complaint: Suri Polomare Name(s) of person involved: Coco Pommel Type: Formal Description: -Sometime today Coco Pommel snuck into my office or took remote control of my computer and changed the e-mail notification on my computer into a man screaming. She has also changed the access permissions of my computer making it unable to save documents onto the hard drive. This is a waste of company time, as it took me an hour to undo all of the changes to my computer in a system restore. Other: N/A ... Date: 15 August 2014 Date of offense: 15 August 2014 Person Filing Complaint: Suri Polomare Name(s) of person involved: Coco Pommel Type: Formal Description: - Coco Pommel stuck pictures of her flank onto the Justin Bieber posters I had in my office and changed the wallpaper of my computer to the same thing she did on the posters sometime last night or early today. It must have been spray adhesive as the paper from the poster tore off when I tried to remove it. Plus, she applied the spray onto my desk and computer chair, making it sticky to type and sit down. This is damaging my personal property and is also unprofessional conduct. Other: N/A ... Date: 10 September 2014 Date of offense: 10 September 2014 Person Filing Complaint: Suri Polomare Name(s) of person involved: Coco Pommel Type: Formal Description: -Coco Pommel moved the refrigerator from downstairs into my office door and super-glued the keyhole shut. When I finally got the fridge out of the way and opened the door I found that my office desk and computer was completely encased in bubble wrap. This is a waste of company time, as it took me about three hours to get rid of the bubble wrap and move the fridge downstairs. Coco didn’t help me when requested either, as she said that she was too busy researching about time travel to help. That is unprofessional conduct on her part also. Other: N/A ... Date: 17 September 2014 Date of offense: 17 September 2014 Person Filing Complaint: Suri Polomare Name(s) of person involved: Coco Pommel Type: Formal Description: -I have filed at least four complaints in the past three months about various incidents detailing Coco Pommel engaging in workplace misconduct against me, yet no action was taken on behalf of the administration. This is very unprofessional on behalf of the company, as they are not upholding the voices of the employees when it is needed the most. I request that some form of action to be taken to resolve the underlying issues at hand, or at least fix the issue with the formal complaint system. Other: Do something, anything!