//------------------------------//
// Chapter Twenty-Three - Talking to a God 
// Story: Moving On 
// by Manitive 
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	I stared at the paw he, if its voice had been any indicator, offered me, not too sure of what to do or what to say. Should I've been friendly and just accept the handshake of someone who freaked me the fuck out? Should I've been running for my dear life?

But then again, it didn't feel like it was necessary to run from this dragon...goat...Uh, whatever he was. Even though he creeped me the fuck out with his cobbled-together appearance and that downright creepy smile, I didn't feel like running away while screaming like a child. Something told me that he wasn't here to do me harm.

Maybe it was because he hadn't even tried to touch me.

So, with one quick and last glance back at his face, which he answered with a confusing wiggle of his white eyebrows, I outstretched one of my hands slowly, very carefully, to meet his open paw. But before I was even half-way there, he grabbed my hand right out of the air, rapidly shaking it up and down, his smile widening to unnatural proportions for just a second before turning back to normal.

My vision went blurry for a second, but as quickly as it came it was also gone. I didn't pay it any mind as I spoke up, "Uh, yeah, nice to meet you...uh...?"

"Oh, forgive me!" He said apologetically, retracting his paw. He then, with a flick of his claw, changed his outfit from nothing to a monocle with a fitting black topper and tuxedo. He bowed curtly before he spoke up again, this time in a much snobbier tone than previously. "G'day kind Sir, name's Discord, God of Chaos and ex-ruler of humble Equestria. Pleased to meet you."

I continued to stare at him with a blank, clueless look on my face, before it suddenly dawned on me: he was that Discord guy, the same guy that helped the two princesses locate Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow and Scootaloo. The same guy who created the portal to Earth in order for the four ponies to travel back home.

And it was his portal that allowed me to start a new life.

But as I continued to gawk into his face, all I could think of was that something about him seemed off. That I shouldn't trust him, no matter what he did for me or the others.

He flicked his claw again, magicking his attire away, returning back to his usual naked self. "I had been rather busy this week with, you know, god stuff, so there was no real chance to formally make your acquaintance." He said while idly running the four claws of his left talon through the hair of his white goat beard. "I was thrilled to hear of another 'strange creature', as ponies like to call us, that resides here in Ponyville."

He looked at me in an expecting manner. Seeing that, and not quite sure what to say, I just nodded dumbly.

He raised an eyebrow. "What? Do I have something on my face?" He flicked his claws again, this time summoning up a small hand mirror, holding it up to his face and thereby obscuring it. "Aha!" He exclaimed triumphantly, levitating the mirror away and showing his face to me - his now faceless, totally blank face. "Seems like I had a little face right there."

He wiggled his eyebrows once again.

I groaned silently to myself. 'Oh how great, he's a jokester.'

Seeing my lack of positive reaction he flicked his claw again, making his face reappear. "Hmpf, you're no fun." He grumbled, shaking his head. "Just like Applejack and Twilight. Too, blegh, uptight."

At least his horrendous try to make me laugh managed to relieve the tension between me and him a bit; enough for me to feel comfortable with opening my mouth again in his presence. "No offense, but that one wasn't even remotely funny."

"You just don't know what funny is!" He said with an exasperated sigh, throwing his hands up in the air in a total sign of despair. "Nopony in the whole of Equestria apparently knows what it is!"

"Funny is more of an opinion thing, if you ask me." I stated with a shrug of my shoulders. "And, in my opinion, what you just did? No, not funny, but maybe there're others that have the same taste in jokes."

He pouted, only that his pout didn't have the same effect on me than that of a pony. Instead of feeling sorry for him, It actually had quite the opposite effect - not that that mattered. "I don't think anyone besides me thinks that chaos and bad jokes are funny..."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah." I said unsurely, eyeing him critically. "So, any particular reason you wanted to see me?"

"What? Am I not allowed to welcome the newest addition to Ponyville?" He asked, fluttering his long, fabulous eyelashes, that he magically enlarged, at me.

"I guess you are?" I answered unsurely, though I guess it came out as more of a question.

"Of course I am, silly!" He said in his best imitation of Pinkie Pie, suddenly appearing directly to my side and messing up my hairstyle with one of his... hands? "I'm the ex-ruler of Equestria, after all."

I swatted his hand away and he instantly teleported himself in front of me again, this time with a popsicle in his mouth. He quickly spat it into his paw and casually threw it away over his shoulder. 

I just sat there, annoyed that he dared to mess up my hair, something which is already considered a sin by me, but also threw away that delicious looking popsicle.

"Seriously, what do you want?" I asked again, trying to hide my annoyance behind a solemn face. From what I'd seen, that guy could literally turn me into anything he wanted, so pissing him off wouldn't be a good idea.

"William, is it so hard to believe that I just wanted to welcome you?"  He asked amusedly, casually juggling a soccer ball with his two different feet like it was nothing.

"Yes, it actually is." I stated, my eyes glued to the ball, darting from left to right.

He flicked his claw, making the ball vanish at an instant, which left me with nothing to stare at other than his face. He idly tapped his chin, making a 'hmm' sound. After a few seconds of mulling over my question, he gave me his answer. "Well, actually, now that I have the chance, there is something I wanted to ask you. Just a simple question, nothing more."

I leaned myself back on the tree's trunk, making myself comfortable as I awaited his supposedly simple question. "Shoot." 

He leaned closer to me, a bit too close for my liking as I was able to easily smell his bad-smelling breath. "Let's say, just hypothetically, that I could create a portal back to your homeworld, no restrictions and all that, would you like to have me create one?"

You can probably imagine how I reacted to his totally simple question.

"Wait, are you freakin' serious?" I asked with wide eyes, shooting up, nearly bumping my head into his. "You can create a -"

I was silenced by some visible, incredibly strange force clamping my mouth shut. I struggled to open it but that quickly turned out to be a fruitless effort - my mouth wouldn't open nor budge, no matter how hard I tried.

Discord, for his part, looked around frantically, but, not seeing anyone that could've heard me, he turned his head back at me. "Psssh, not so loud." He hissed through his teeth, still clamping my mouth shut with his magic. "This is something no one except me-" He pointed a finger at himself and then at me. "-and you should know about."

I tried to open my mouth again in an attempt to ask him the big 'Why' question, but learned that it was still sealed shut, so I chose to just nod my head once, although reluctantly, silently agreeing that I was not going to tell anyone about this.

Well, at least not immediately.

I felt the visible force fade after just a moment of visible hesitation from his part, allowing me to open my mouth again to ask the question that made me suspicious of his generous and caring offer.

"Why can no one know about this?" I asked him, quieter this time, not really wanting to have my mouth forcefully get closed again any time soon. "I mean, this doesn't seem like a bad thing. I could get some things from back home that I missed to pack, like clothes."

"That is right, it may not seem bad to you, but how do you think would ponies react to a portal that leads to a world filled with beings like you react?"

"I don't know?"

He groaned. "I'll give you a tip: pitchforks and torches. Oh, and war, let's not forget about that."

"Okay, I get what you're trying to tell me.-" I said, rubbing my face in a tired manner, allowing myself to relax again. "And, let's just say that I want that portal to exist, what exactly could it even change? I mean, I have everything I need here. There's literally nothing back on Earth that I'd need right now."

"Well, nothing except maybe one thing. One thing you don't really get here in Equestria."

That got me curious. What could there possibly be that you wouldn't be able to get in a land filled with magical ponies. "And that is...?"

He leaned back, smirking down at me. "Simple, it's meat."

"Yeah, okay, I can't get meat here, but I also don't really need it."

"You're lying~" He sing-songed, waving from left to right in a half-dance kind of thing.

He was right, I was lying. Even though I was right when I said that I didn't actually need meat, at least not as long as I could get my proteins from somewhere else, I wanted to taste it again. I didn't want to eat only vegetables for the rest of my life, but living between ponies, where eating meat is, judging from Twilight and Applejack's earlier reactions, frowned upon, didn't give me much of a choice in the matter.

"And, it's not only meat that you could get." He remarked, a knowing grin on his face as he saw me seriously considering his words. "It's also all of that weird technology you humans possess. That box with the moving pictures, for example."

That managed to break me out of my daydreaming about meat. "How do you know what a TV is?" I inquired warily, narrowing my eyes. 

He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head, but before he could give me an answer, I heard someone familiar calling my name.

"William! Where are ya?"

"Oh, that's too bad, Applejack's back!" He exclaimed with a large smile. "She doesn't really like me, so I better be off now. Think about what I just told you, it really could make your life easier, and don't tell anyone about this." 

"I'll see you in a week! Ta-ta!" With a trademark move of his, the flick of his claw, he was gone, leaving an incredibly conflicted me back.

I sat there in complete silence for a minute or so, too deep in thoughts to hear the sound of approaching hoofsteps until the pony they belonged stood in front of me and decided to address me.

"Celestia darn it, William, why didn't you answer me?" Applejack asked exasperated, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I sighed. 'Should I tell her?'

"William, everythin' alright?" The orange mare asked, this time sounding a little concerned.

I shook my head, faintly smiling up at her. "Sorry, I was...thinking."

"Well, ya better be finished with thinkin' 'cause we still have some work ta do."