//------------------------------// // 16 - Progress // Story: Exile’s Journey // by Meep the Changeling //------------------------------// Felling Axe - 16th of Chillfrost 16 EoH Crystal Spire - Crystal Empire I had a hangover. Not a bad hangover, but a full head pounding dizzying hangover. The sort you know will go away after a few hours. For once, I was happy to have one. The last seventeen days had been absolutely horrible. Nothing more than a life or death run with a monster waiting for me at the end. No, there was more than that. I had to be honest with myself. In addition to the seventeen days of misery, I’d lost my home, as well as a lot of tools and a ton of projects that I had been looking forward to finishing would now never be done. Then, of course, there was the cherry atop the shit sundae. My love was asexual and probably aromantic as well. I could deal with monsters. I could deal with fleeing for my life. Tools could be replaced, and I could build new things. But as far as I was aware, nothing would get me together with Repose. The old changelish saying is right. Love is like drugs. It can make everything better, but it can still make everything the worst it can be. But I was still happy I had a hangover. Because it meant all that was in the past. I had been in a place last night safe enough to drink in, that had also given me access to some form of booze. That was something good. I sat up, the bed I had somehow arrived in after whatever happened at the end of the night creaked in protest. Giving my temples a rub, I tried to figure out what I should do now. The only reason I had stayed in Prance was because I thought Repose was cute. The original plan was to go to Neighpon after smuggling my armor across the border piece by piece. Then that plan was tossed out the window because I liked that adorable cloaked doofus. But he would never be mine. He didn’t do that kind of relationship. And I should have known that. The only way he could have possibly not noticed my advances is if he literally never even thought about sex. I guess I had known, but just ignored reality. That ship sunk before it left the harbor, and I’d just kept treading water ever since. The hay do I do now? Three sharp knocks clacked loudly off the door, each one feeling like a slap to the back of my eyes. “I’m awake,” I groaned, blinking several times. Hold on a minute… My voice was female! What? As the room came into proper focus and I was able to see everything I noticed that I was currently shape changed, taking the form of a bright cobalt blue mare with a silver and black tail. Which was all stuck together into a single strand… And most of my fur was plastered together too. I grimaced and sniffed myself. Nope. That wasn’t sex mess. It was… Peach scented? My ears drooped so fast they almost dented my skull. What the hay did I do last night!?! “Hey there, sexy!” A short coppery colored earth pony mare greeted, beaming me a huge smile from her face mostly hidden behind a long messy blue-gray mane. “Good to see you’re awake. A friend’s looking for you.” “Who are you?” I asked timidly, feeling a blush wash over my cheeks. The mare giggled. “Copper Kettle,” she answered. “I figured you wouldn’t remember. You got drunk last night and were sad you couldn’t get with some colt so I asked if you wanted to go a few rounds. You were great by the way! You should come back tonight.” I slowly shook my head and blinked some more. That didn’t seem like something I would normally do. Not for a mare. I never liked mare made love’s flavors. “Um, well normally I don’t do mares,” I explained slowly. “Why am I covered in peach juice?” She laughed. “I’m not a mare where it counts, silly! And the sticky is probably because you had me give you a tongue bath to clean up a flavored lube spill. I guess I missed… A lot. Sorry.” Ah. Confusing comment aside, that would explain that. I felt my ears droop in embarrassment as I realized exactly how drunk I’d gotten. “And why am I a-” “You offered to shapechange into all of the crushes I had pictures of, your Blue Skies right now. High School crush. Wanna shift back, talk to your friend then go for a quickie before I have to go to work?” She asked hopefully. I slipped out of her bed and quickly changed back, letting the arcane flames burn off the gunk while I shifted. I gave Copper a polite smile and shook my head. “I-I don’t normally hook up with anypony at a bar or anything like that-” My emotional scenes suddenly cleared. My god, I was totally full! And she actually tasted nice. My ears perked instinctively. “- And while I can’t remember anything, your love is pretty tasty… I’m not up for sex right now, but we can talk this evening. Where do you work?” “I’m Cadence’s butler,” she replied with a happy smile. “But you’re a mare…” I protested. “Butler is a male title.” Copper rolled her eyes and gave me an affectionate pat. “Trans-stallion is trans. If I didn’t have to go visit my parents sometimes, I’d be a stallion all the time. But permanent genderswap spells and potions are expensive. I do have a stash of temporary ones though. Too bad you don’t remember, you thought I was hot stuff! Heh,” he explained. “Oh! I’m sorry,” I apologized with an embarrassed blush. “You seem interesting, how about we share dinner this evening and see how that goes?” Copper nodded eagerly. “Please! I think I’ve acquired a taste for cute changelings… Uh, no offense but what is your normal sex? I had you as mares all night… Sorry.” “Changelings are complicated,” I replied with a dismissive hoof wave. “I prefer being male, but we’re shape shifters. We choose our sex, and lots of us change it up day to day.” “So jelly,” Copper sighed. “Oh! Right, your friend. He’s just outside.” I nodded, blinked in pain as my head protested the movement and trotted outside, vision blurring again and making me walk directly into a wall of pale pastel green floof! “Hi!” The wall said as it resolved into an androgynous pony. Oh! Right. Juniper. The colt who had been leading the surviving livestock ponies. “Hey, sorry, hangover,” I groaned, taking a half step back. “What do you need?” Juniper immediately pulled me into a hug, giving me comforting pats on the back. “Awww! I’m sorry. I think Celery Sticks knows a hangover cure charm. We’ll go find her in just a little bit, okay?” “That sounds amazing,” I agreed. Juniper let go of me and took a few steps back to get into a polite conversing distance. “Princess Cadence wants to talk to us in an hour. We get to pick out an available building or lot and she’s going to have an apartment built there! I was thinking about what we can do for a living because I remember that non-hive ponies do more for their communities than just love buggies. “I’m sure we'll figure something out, but more important is that right now everypony wants to know if you’ll be staying with us or not… We um, it’s not… Comfortable to not have anyling around.” I felt my cheeks pull downwards as I frowned sadly. “I’m sorry… The fact you were left there is a shame on our entire hive. Of course, I’ll stay with you, I already promised I would,” I said as comfortingly as I could. Juniper’s eyes lit up happily. “Yay! Um… You’re not a Queen, but maybe we can save our old queen and she can help us restart the hive. Cadence said we could dig under the city to make one if we can get her back on her hooves. Or if you don’t mind helping to repopulate. Um… Wait, can soldiers reproduce by themselves or was that-” “Everyling can reproduce asexually and sexually,” I corrected. “That includes Elites. But if I do it, we won't get any drones, just more soldiers. It’s best to get the Queen healthy again. But that could be a long term project. Right now let’s focus on getting everyone a home… How do I look? AM I okay for meeting with-” Juniper covered his mouth with one hoof and giggled. “You’re fine! The Princess let us all see past the illusions spells hiding everything. EVERYPONY here is a bit messy. It’s a fun place!” “What illusions?” I asked with a suspicious glance around the crystalline hallway. “She hides all of the fun things from anypony who doesn't like that kind of stuff,” Juniper explained pointing to a tapestry showing a map of Equis. “That tapestry shows a group photo of the Princess, her husband, and their entire staff. It’s done like a family portrait, with everyone happy and all looking like they love each other, and everypony is in either fetish outfits or bondage gear. What is it for you?” “... A map,” I answered after a moment of stunned disbelief. “Are you joking?” Juniper shook his head rapidly. “Nope. Cadence said she likes things most ponies don’t like, and so she made this city to be a home for everypony like her, and then her friend made her hide it all from other ponies. If you wanna see everything you just have to ask her and she’ll do a magic thing and then you’re not affected by the spells anymore! Everything is waaaay prettier looking, and also more fun!” That would explain why there was way more ambient love in the air than normal… Before I could think of a response, the door to my back creaked open and a decidedly male voice said, “Hey, just going to work, but I thought I’d show you how I looked last night.” I turned, tail immediately lifting slightly as I saw a pony who was most definitely Copper, only male, two hooves taller, well toned, and dressed in an adorable tuxedo. I felt my jaw drop. He gave me a smile and a wink. “I drank a potion before dinner service last night. Things make more sense now?” He asked playfully. I blushed deeply and nodded. “Yes!” “And we’re still on for-” “Yes!” I agreed. “Excellent,” Copper said happily giving me a short hug. “I’ll be a mare again by then, is that okay?” I nodded twice, shuffling my hooves in embarrassment. He was so handsome and I was pretty much a mess and needed to brush my mane, and I probably didn’t burn off all the gunk, and- “See you then,” Copper said happily before trotting down the hall, whistling happily. “Woah! Lucky!”Juniper gasped. “I don’t remember anything. I was too drunk!” I lamented, ears falling sadly. “No, I mean you’re lucky he likes you that much. Because you definitely like him!” Juniper said with a sly grin. “Don’t screw up dinner and you might have a mate in a few weeks! I remember soldiers like having a single mate. Want help getting ready for the date?” Oh. Right… The livestock ponies inherited our emotional scenes… “Um, let’s find some place where I can clean up and then get to that meeting,” I decided. “With the princess or with that hunk?” Juniper snickered. “Er, well, both…” I admitted. “There’s a shower room in the barracks everypony’s staying in. Come on, it’s this way!” Juniper exclaimed eagerly before zipping energetically down the hall. Gods damn! I forgot just how hyperactive they were. Smiling, I ran along after him. I was home. Gentle Repose - 16th of Chillfrost 16 EoH Crystal Spire - Crystal Empire “There we are, it’s finished,” I said happily as I lifted the small silver and brass medallion from the workbench with my magic. “Wait, already?!” Twilight exclaimed her ears perking in shock. “Did you have all of the plans in your head? I thought it would take a month to finish whatever healing device you-” I laughed, making Twilight blush deeply. “What?” She asked timidly. “Twilight, this is the charm Light asked me to make for her,” I explained, grinning in amusement. I always loved the humor resulting from a failure to communicate. Twilight blinked then laughed as well, shaking her head side to side in embarrassment. “I was wondering why you were working on something so small. I thought that was just a part.” I turned the medallion over to inspect it. The silver caught the light, glinting nicely. The brass backplate carried all of the enchanting etchings, which I’d hidden behind another layer of brass, and the silver Fleur-de-lis emblem concealed the small managem hidden inside to power the spell. I was proud of my work. The charm would expand or shrink with her, along with whatever chain or strap it was mounted to. I’d even gotten the control down to a command word which the user thought of instead of spoke. It should allow her to shrink or return to her true size six thousand times before needing to be recharged. Far superior to her crude, ‘cram my volume into one-third of the normal space’ filly’s first enchantment science project grade charm, which she had lost. “Well, this could be just a part,” I mused. “What if we build a collar that allows it to recharge on ambient magic?” “Why a collar?” Twilight asked curiously. “Why not a chain? Isn’t that more in line with jewelry?” I nodded. “Yes, for the feminine among us. Prench jewelry is divided into masculine and feminine forms. The kind you choose is meant to be a way to express your identity to others. Light is a tomcolt, she would prefer a masculine fastener. Originally I was going to give her the charm and let her sort it out… But we could improve this just a bit more and put it on a nice leather collar with matching silver and brass decoration.” Twilight pursed her lips thoughtfully for a moment, tapped a hoof to her lips, then nodded. “Why not? We have time,” she decided after a few minutes. “What will the decorations do? The average collar’s size would mean only a third of the studs going around would need to be occupied for the charging enchantment. “Is there anything else she might like in an enchanted item? Perhaps some basic wards? Maybe an extra-dimensional pocket?” My ears perked as she mentioned extra-dimensional pockets. “Yes! We should put a pocket in it for her, that would be very useful. And speaking of pockets, I have some in my cloak!” I set the charm down on the workbench and reached into my cloak’s pockets, slipping out the books I had saved. There was my personal spellbook, naturally, along with my copies of The Nitwit's Guide To Talismans, The Essential Guide To Magical Crystals, the Advanced Guide To Spellcasting, De Vermis Mysteriis, The Book of Eibon, the Unaussprechliche Kulte, and of course, my copy of Abdul Alhazred’s translation of the Necronomicon. Twilight trotted over with an excited smile to inspect my books. Then tilted her head as her face took on a confused frown as she looked over the selection. “Half of these are first year books, and the other half I have never read, or even heard of,” she said to herself. “I kept the books I used to learn new fields of study, my notes in the margins are far more valuable than the books own contents,” I explained. Twilight’s face pulled in an odd way. She took a deep breath, pulled one hoof into her chest, and then exhaled while extending her hoof. “It’s okay… They are common books. Not valuable…” I felt my ears droop. “My apologies. I assure you I take great care of my more important books,” I consoled as I picked up my copy of The Book of Eibon. “This book is the last known copy as far as I am aware. The Necromancer’s Guild had all known copies burned. Nopony thought I might have a copy as I was alive with it was first written, and I didn’t tell them I had one.” “Why did they burn it?” Twilight asked suspiciously. “Normally I would be horrified at the thought of a book burning but… That is a necromancy tome, right?” “Yes. It is,” I answered with a firm nod. “And I am a Necromancer. The Art can be used responsibly and for good, you know. As for the reason, it was burned, it includes some of my work which the author stole. It includes the modified version of the ritual and enchantments I used to become a lich.” Twilight frowned. “Mmm… Yeah, I can see why it would be burned. Um, if you don’t mind me asking, how come you are not evil?” I had been expecting this question from her. Fortunately, I had an answer that any wizard would accept. “The initial transformation is highly flawed,” I began. “A lich who ascended via the traditional method created by Maelstrom the Mad will manage to attach themselves to their phylactery, or soul jar, but they do not complete the transition fully intact. “Maelstrom believed emotions to be largely useless, and so his version of the spell removes everything but anger, as he believed it played an essential role in survival. This part of the spell is not something you would notice if you weren't reading it carefully. Say, if you were power hungry and seeking undeath as a means of securing your rule forever. “Once they had transformed, a traditional lich can no longer feel joy, happiness, or anything. Only anger. Eventually, in desperation to feel anything else they become sadistic, it’s inevitable given the infinite lifespan. Nopony’s willpower is that expansive. “Before I transformed myself, I thoroughly inspected the spell and discovered that flaw in its design. Unlike every other known lich, I have all of my emotional capacity from before. I did have to sacrifice much of the power-enhancing properties of lichdom in order to fit my full self into my phylactery, but I managed. “There are some other downsides for me as well. However, my primary purpose in becoming undead is fulfilled, so I am happy.” “And what is that primary purpose?” Twilight asked with an intrigued expression. “Oh! Well, I don’t want to miss out on future arcane and technological developments. I realized, five hundred years ago, that I will be very sad if I died before we could learn about the other planets, and all of these other amazing things which were being discovered back then which I dearly wished to know about. How can I die when there is so much left to learn?” I asked with a wistful grin. Twilight returned my smile. I could tell she liked me just by her look. Then my mind flashed to Felling. Oh no! Did she like me romantically!? I had to cut this off before someone else had an emotional meltdown. I quickly held up a hoof. “Just in case that is a look of love or lust, I am asexual. I don’t do those kinds of relationships.” Twilight triple blinked, then broke out into a grin and laughed. “No, you silly! I can just relate to you is all. I’m an Alicorn, I’m also eternal. But before I was, I was worried about missing out on cool discoveries when I died too. I think we could be great friends!” Her face suddenly fell, ears drooping as a sad frown parted her lips. “But um… Despite the information in these books being mostly harmless… You do know that necromancy tomes are banned in Equestria, right?” Twilight asked, her hind legs shuffling nervously. Ah, now this was an easy far to fix. I nodded. “I do. But would you really destroy knowledge instead of safeguard it and regulate it so it stays out of the wrong hooves? Honestly, aside from the fear that all liches go mad and become serial killers resulting in my work getting this book destroyed, nopony in Prance would object to the rest of its contents. “The majority of this book deals in how to disable and deconstruct various undead creatures. It also includes a section on medical applications for the living, including reversing gangrene and other rot, grafting dead tissue into place and reanimating it, and a resurrection technique which works as long as the corpse has been dead less than ten minutes. Would you like to see them? You can judge for yourself.” It wasn’t the Necronomicon. Nothing especially objectionable. All beginner and intermediate Necromancy. A good place for a pony already skilled in the arcane arts to beginning learning the art. “You make a good argument,” Twilight decided with a nod to herself. “I may not have known you for long, but Cadence didn’t have a bad reaction to you, and you remind me a lot of myself, at least, with what I’ve seen of you. I will trust you. “As such, you have my authority as the Princess of Magic to keep the necromancy books currently in your possession. So long as you do not allow anypony to read them who doesn't have the approval of a princess… And also, you go over them with me at some point in the future.” “Certainly!” I agreed happily. “I’ve been enjoying working with you so far. I would enjoy teaching you any necromancy spell you find useful. But for now, I believe we have more important work. Shall we finish this collar and then get onto the reason we’re here?” Twilight nodded firmly. “Yes, a simple leather strap won’t take long to make. I’ll do the charging enchantment and the pocket enchantment on the studs. You’ve got way better craftsponyship than I do, so you get the leather looking nice and stick it all together. We should be done in half an hour.” Twilight’s estimate was quite accurate. A mere thirty-five minutes later the finished collar rested on the workbench. I liked how it turned out. Having to work with crude homemade tools allowed me to create true works of art with a proper laboratory at my disposal. The collar still looked hoof made, but in the classy way which denotes an expensive item which had been custom made. Light would love it. I would deliver it to her at lunch. Meaning whenever Twilight got hungry. Because now it was time for the real work to begin. Walking over to my spellbook, I opened it, flipped to the appropriate page and spread out my notes over the table to reveal the blueprints for the invention which had gotten me banished from my home. “This will be difficult,” I warned as I pushed the last page into position. “I will likely need some help. I know you are not an enchanter, but can you see what this is? We should begin by debugging this schematic. This is the first draft.” Twilight reared up and rested her forehooves on the table, looking down over the blueprint. Her eyes roamed the pages. She nodded to herself, hummed, then raised an eyebrow. “This is a resonant cascade matrix amplifier, isn’t it?” She asked with a weary sigh. Oh boy… Here we go. “Yes, with a thaumaturgic cage built in to limit the effect to a specific area. I already thought about a runaway thaumaturgic effect,” I said quickly, so as to not seem like an extra mad mage. I was just a normal mad mage after all. “I’m sorry, but this won’t work,” Twilight said apologetically. “You were exiled for nothing.” “It will work,” I said having expected the protest. I pointed to one part of the schematic, and then to a page of my notes. “See this? This part is what makes it work. The waveform amplifier is composed of arcanite, and uses this specific frustum shape-” Twilight held up a hoof. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what that word means. What is a frustum?” “Oh! That’s not an enchanting term. That’s just the name of the shape you get when you cut the upper part of a cone or pyramid,” I explained. “In this case, the specific shape of the frustum is vital to the successful workings of the device. Instead of bouncing the mana’s waveform around inside, it sends it along a predictable vector with a predictable delay, meaning each time the spell matrix pulses and casts the spell, the matrix amplifier will send the thaumaturgic current out where it then hits the cage and runs along it. “When the next pulse fires, it comes out along a slight difference vector, which ensures that the new pulse’s waveform aligns with the peaks and troughs of the previous pulse exactly. It took a great many years to calculate the precise shape needed but I have tested it in the small scale and it works. “This design actually will take multiple low power castings of a spell and ‘stack’ them into a single more powerful spell later. The small scale version was able to stack fifteen pulses before burning out. This version uses arcanite components to avoid that problem.” “Wait, wait, wait!” Twilight exclaimed, waving her hooves in disbelief. “You built this in small scale, and it WORKED!?” I nodded, then paused and shook my head. “Well… No. I built the previous iteration of the design in small scale. I was trying to make a small scale version of this design when I had to flee. But it will still work. This is simply an upgraded version. It should stack up to three hundred spell effects and apply them to anything within its area of influence.” Twilight shook her head firmly. “I don’t believe that this will work. Resonant cascade matrix amplifiers violate the fifth law of Thaumaturgic Physics. Can I see your calculations?” “Of course,” I said as I flipped my spellbook to the right page and passed it to her with my magic. I should have simply shown her my notes before and skipped this whole conversation. Why didn’t I think of that? Twilight took the book gently and squinted at my admittedly small spiky writing. Her eyes flicked back and forth over the page, frequently returning to earlier positions to re-read segments. As she read her skeptical frown softened, slowly transforming into a beaming grin. “You see the loophole in the Fifth Law now?” I Asked with an equally large grin. “I do!” Twilight confirmed. “This… This is big. How did you find this out?” “This is my life’s work. I became a lich and the first thing I decided to do with immortality was to cure the Emperor. You are looking at the result of five hundred years work. I have done nothing else but this since a week after my first deathday,” I answered with a proud smile. “You need a hobby,” Twilight said with a chuckle. “But this is beautiful. You know how many other devices can be built using this, right?” I nodded. “I have an idea. But right now, we have this one to build. Hopefully, we can find somepony to test it on first. Just because it successfully stacks simple healing spells doesn't mean it will brute force any given healing and cure any ailment.” “Is that what you planned to do with this?” Twilight asked in shock. “That would never work! You want a rejuvenation spell instead. Normally such a spell is impossible, but with this, you could get it to work and-” “Force everything in the bubble to be restored to an earlier temporal state!” I exclaimed excitedly. “That’s brilliant! You’re brilliant! So long as we could get enough energy to stack as many rejuvenation spells as possible we could-” “Brute force the change past any resistances in the way save for of the flow of time itself. Now THAT will heal your Emperor from whatever curse he has!” Twilight finished with an excited hoof clap. Our eyes met. I nodded. She nodded. It was time to work. “It will take a month to build this,” Twilight estimated. “We give Light her necklace now, I’ll arrange to have meals delivered, move a cot in here and we get her done as soon as possible.” “Agreed!” I said with a firm nod. “The fewer distractions the better. Who knows, maybe if I heal His Majesty I’ll get a pardon and can have my apartment back.” Twilight shook her head. “That’s a stupid idea. You should be my court enchanter. Want the job?” “I’ll think about it,” I said before realizing what she had offered and feeling my head try to explode in surprise and delight. “I’ve thought about it. Yes!” “Great!" Twilight laughed. "I don’t think I know of anypony more qualified for the position than the stallion who just bucked thaumaturgic physics right in the ear. Um... Sorry for being crass, but you just punched a hole in the base model of physics here sooo…” “Heh,” I chuckled, “Given that phrasing of what my discovery does, it’s actually kind of apt this is being built here.” Twilight’s ears drooped. “You looked under the illusion spells?” I nodded. “I looked under the illusion spells.” “Sorry. Let’s science! That always helps me get rid of that squicky feeling,” Twilight said comfortingly as she went to start preparing the workbench. “You know, I think we’re going to be good friends,” I said as I walked over to join her and make sure we had enough materials to begin working. “We are good friends. There's no ‘going’, to be done. Here, let me clean that soldering iron,” Twilight said casually. I had another friend! Yay! Life was looking up again. Light Step - 16th of Chillfrost 16 EoH Crystal Spire - Crystal Empire There are many things you can do to make somepony smile. My personal favorite to be on the receiving end of is free food. I’d asked a guard where the mess was and when we could get lunch at around noon, turns out that Princess Cadence ran an open buffet. I’m not a glutton, but when told that ‘All staff and guests may eat their fill in the casual dining hall, ma’am,” I knew it was time to treat myself. And what a treat I had found! The Princess had two young adult dragons in her guard, and that meant the buffet served draconic food! Which meant I got to try Parrillada. What’s Parrillada? A glorious mix of grilled wild boar, chicken, rabbit, alligator, wild boar, dire bear, Neighponese Kaiju, and more wild boar. The grandiose one-course feast is a meat log that’s best described as a brick of meats half the size of a pony’s head that’s made from strips of meat cut from all over each animal and pleated into layers, then glued together with tangy sauces. The two dragons noticed me taking one and bet me I couldn’t eat it properly. Traditionally, you are meant to cram it into your mouth and swallow it whole. I was pretty sure I could do it. They put down money saying I couldn’t. So I did. Those two dragons did not expect me to triple my size and scarf that thing down. I almost regret doing it but, it’s a buffet, so I decided to have another and just chew on it for a while. I deserved that treat. Because I just made seven hundred bits on that whole ‘bet you can’t eat it properly!’ thing. I had to remember to thank Repose. The collar he’d made for me didn’t even remotely hurt when I used it to take on a normal pony size. Which is why I had been okay with growing to win the bet. Nopony had made fun of me for my size here, and well, I was broke. And I like showing up smug people. Admittedly, I’d rather have had a simple leather cord to hang the thing from instead but I did appreciate the extras. The collar charging the spell for me and also having a little mage’s pocket was really handy. I’d stuck my winnings in it. I had decided to remain full size so I could fit the second Parrillada in my mouth and slowly chew on it like a big juicy steak. It felt weird being able to be comfortable like this, but on the other hoof, delicious pleated meat log! Heck, this thing even made hunching over the relatively tiny long ‘picnic table’ endurable. I could probably undergo surgery with one of these things as a substitute for anesthetic. “Oh my gosh!” A mare exclaimed suddenly from over my left shoulder. I turned curiously peering through the fairly crowded lunchroom. I was just in time to see a kinda fat yet very cute light gray furred mare with a long flowing pale pink mane and tail zip through the crowd to take a seat next to me. “Hi!” She exclaimed with a happy grin. “I’m Moon Dust, Lilac told me about you. Is it okay if we eat together? I don’t get to meet many ponies who have also been extensively modified!” “Um, what?” I asked one ear drooping as I spoke around a mouthful of delicious bliss. She tilted her head as well, nose and cheeks scrunching up. “A-are your wings, tail, and eyes natural? I’m sorry. I thought you got them cosmetically altered,” she stammered in embarrassment. I laughed, almost slipping off the tiny bench attached to the table. I loved this nation! Where else would a pony assume I’d used super advanced transformation magic to look like this? Shaking my head I suppressed my laughter and gave her a smile to let her know it was okay. “No, I’m a felin. You know, a pegasus-griffon hybrid. Like how a half earth pony half griffon is a hippogriff,” I explained, turning back to the meaty goodness on my plate. You know what? The plumber was going to work extra hard tonight. I was gonna have to do a third one after this. “Oh! Sorry. I’ve only seen hippogriffs before,” Moon admitted. “Uh, is your size natural? Ooo! Is there a colony of giant ponies somewhere? I swear I can remember somepony said Rainbow Dash said that Daring Doo is a real pony so-” I shook my head. “No, this was a potion accident. But I’m starting to like it.” It was true. Cadence’s therapy spell really did help. I wasn’t completely okay being this size in the middle of all these ponies, but well, here I was. I could do it. The mental blocks were gone. And also it helped a lot that it didn’t feel like all of my bones broke when shrinking back down… Swallowing the bit of meat I had been chewing I realized that Moon had said ‘also’ in her statement about modifications. Squinting at her carefully, I tried to make out anything she might have done that was, well, something transformation magic would be responsible for. Nothing. Huh. Well, the culture here seemed very relaxed about this sort of thing. Why not ask? “Hey, um, I hope this isn’t rude, but you said ‘also modified’. What did you get done? Wing or horn removal? Sex change? Because I can’t see anything odd,” I asked carefully. Moon looked up at me in surprise. “W-wait, you’re not seeing through the illusion spells? But you’re a giantess! Cadie didn’t-” “Wait, illusion spells?” I asked, raising one eyebrow in alarm. “What illusion spells?” Moon blushed. “I um, well, I just figured since… Um, well, Princess Cadence runs this city as a refuge for ponies with m-more odd passions and desires. But since foreign diplomats and other non-residents come here too, the whole place is made ‘presentable’ with a series of illusion spells. “I thought you were told about them because lots of ponies like being extra big as a fetish. But I’ve never seen anypony near your size… N-normally Cadie tells guests who have similar tastes to her about the spells and lets you see through them.” “Really!?” I asked, face going blank as I sat there stunned. Moon nodded in embarrassment. “Y-yes, please don't make a fuss about it. This is our home and-” “Make a fuss!?” I exclaimed with a snort. “Are you kidding? You’re telling me that this whole place is a fetish zone, and that I don’t get to see it because of illusions? I’m definitely going to make a fuss! I want in on what I hope is a real life version of an erotic fiction novel’s setting.” I mean, I wouldn’t want to live here if that were true. But as a vacation spot, buck the hay yes! Moon’s worried and embarrassed blush quickly sprang into a relieved smile. “Oh good! We can find my marefriend later. She can put you on the permissions list so you aren't affected by the illusions.” “Cool!” I exclaimed giving her a nod. “So, now that we have that cleared up… What’s your deal? I guess I’m seeing you with ‘censorship’ in place.” Moon nodded and blushed cutely. “Y-yes. I have an udder. Like, a cow udder. I like making milk and I heard that there was a biomancer in Ponyville who could do way more than transformation magic can, and also permanently. I um, I had a lot saved up and I like to make my own butter but that’s hard because a normal pony doesn't make enough to get much butter. I figured I could be jealous of my cow friends, or I could spend some of my savings and out do them. Hehe!” “Oh yeah, Equestria has a pretty large cow minority,” I mused out loud. “I’ve never actually met one.” “Oh? Prance doesn't have any cows living there?” Moon asked, ears perking curiously. “No, we do. Just not very many. Besides, I used to be an Air Guard Scout. I haven't spent too much time in cities,” I explained taking another bite of my meat log. Mmmm! Meat log. It stays just as good despite the previous bites! “In that case, you should go meet a few,” Moon said as she picked up a spoon in one hoof to begin eating her soup. “They have a very cool culture, at least I think they do. I grew up near one of their reservations. Sunset says your immigration visa should be here in three days, you should totally go on a trip!” “How would you know when the visa comes in, but I don’t?” I asked, thoroughly confused. “My marefriend, Sunset. She’s Cadence’s chambermaid. You know, personal assistant,” Moon explained. “Ah! Makes sense,” I said as I thought about her suggestion. “You know, I might visit a reservation. If I happen to be near one. This place seems pretty fun, but I’m not planning on staying. I had my fortune told once, and I need to find a place that’s ‘beneath the sea of sand’. Pretty keen on finding it because I think it’s where I’ll feel the most at home. Um, you wouldn't happen to know a place called that, would you?” Moon shook her head. “No, but if you know that it’s in Equestria, the only sand is in the south. On the Zebrican border. It’s mostly badlands but you get some real dessert right on the edge,” She answered with a helpful smile. “Sorry, I can’t do better than that.” “That’s fi-” I started to say. Somepony to my right cleared their throat. “Not to barge in, but that's the nickname for the desert on top of my home,” a stallion’s voice informed. I turned in surprise to see a burnt orange pegasus with an electric blue mane standing near the table holding a large, brown paper wrapped package with one leg. “It is? Where do I need to head to?” I asked eagerly. “Wait, on TOP of your home?” The pegasus nodded. “Yeah. It’s an underground city. Take a train to Appleloosa and ask anypony which way it is to Pheonix and then just look for the huge hill shaped like a big triangle with a lump in the middle. Someling will show you the door as soon as you land on the hill. “Now then, big girl, could you stand up for just two seconds, please? I can hear Moon Dust on your other side and I need to give her this package.” “Oh, sorry,” I apologized as I reared up, head brushing against a chandelier as I awkwardly stopped to let him pass the package beneath me. Moon tilted her head in confusion as she saw the pegasus. “I’m sorry, I don’t know you. Are you new to the post service?” The pegasi’s ears drooped in irritation. “... Y-you don’t recognize me? That’s okay. It’s not like I’m pretty well known or anything. And also friends with your marefriend. And a pony who you’ve met at one of her birthday parties before. Anywho, that box is for Sunset. Fresh from SkyLabs, one set of replica Yamaha dirt bike fenders and matching engine cover. Make sure it gets to her. “I was going to be nice and hoof deliver it since I was in town to install Cadence’s new lab equipment, but It’s been two hours and I still can’t find her, and not to be rude, but I don’t like being here for long periods. Oh, and tell her Sky says hi.” “Alright! Thank you very much,” Moon said as she slid the package into the seat next to her. “I’m sorry I don’t recognize you. What’s your name again?” “Trigger,” he said with an odd inflection. “Sky Trigger.” Moon’s cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. “Oh, my Luna! I’m so sorry I forgot! I feel so stupid… I use SkyTech products all the time!” “Woah, wait, THAT Sky Trigger?” I asked, eyes widening in surprise. “Multinational corporation owning Sky Trigger!? What are you doing delivering packages!?” Sky laughed and shook his head. “Saving a friend shipping. Besides, everyone should do some of the grunt work once in awhile. Keeps you from getting detached from your employees. “Anywho, whenever you can travel, you definitely want to go to the Phoenix to fulfill that little fortune of yours. Remember, Applooza, ask for directions to Phoenix from there. It’s a half day long trip, not counting the train ride. Maybe I’ll see you around when you get there.” “I’ll be sure to remember that!” I exclaimed eagerly, committing the directions to memory. Suddenly I realized he might know what the other half of the fortune meant. “Oh! Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know what the fortune could mean by ‘embrace the night’, do you?” Sky blinked and held up a hoof in a warding gesture. “Woah, woah, woah! What is the entire fortune?” “I asked how I could have a good life. The divination spell told me to quote ‘For a good life, embrace the night beneath the sea of sand. You will find what you have always wanted within the darkness by brightening it’ unquote,” I replied doing my best to remember the exact wording. Sky coughed as if choking on something then shook his head. “Uh, I do know. But I’m pretty sure if I say anything I’ll ruin it. Just get there before the end of the month and when you arrive go hang out in the civilian quarters on deck four. Everything will sort itself out. See you around,” he said giving the two of us a wave as he walked off. I debated for a moment whether or not to press for details. My curiosity was more than a little piqued. But on the other hoof, anypony smart enough to run a global business was also smart enough to know when they shouldn’t say something. Besides. I had a meat log! Mmm... Meat log! “Well, that was interesting,” I said as I sat back down and returned to my delicious meat log. Moon nodded in agreement. “Yeah I wonder what he’s not saying… Also how much of that are you going to eat? You’ll be sick at this rate.” “Nah, I’m a carnivore,” I countered with a smile before taking another bite of the meat log. “I’ve got a griffon’s digestive system. I needs the meats. I can do some grains too, but not much else… Anyways, how about we finish eating, find your marefriend, and get me in on this whole awesome kinky resort?” Moon giggled playfully. “Sure! I’m glad that when well with you. I- I’ve made a few mistakes with telling others about our lifestyle before.” I snorted playfully. “It’s fine. I feel good about myself for the first time in my life, and um… I uh, I actually haven’t gotten to well, you know…” “Y-you’re a virgin?” Moon asked, eyes wide. “N-not if sleeping with my weapon counts…” I admitted with an embarrassed ear droop. “Uh, anyways… Before I head over to that Phoenix place, well, might as well use this opportunity of a bunch of laid back ponies to work out what I like, right?” Moon nodded. “Yeah, the Crystal Empire is very good for that sort of thing. We’ll have to go on a tour after lunch. Sunset knows a few of the most fun places but um… Doors. Can you fit through a normal doorway?” I nodded and with a quick thought, activated my necklace, shrinking down to a normal pony’s size. “Yep!” I exclaimed before frowning. It felt oddly uncomfortable to be small right now for some reason. Wierd. Moon’s eyes widened in awe. “Oh wow! That’s so cool! Can you become any size you want!?” “Nah, just normal pony, what you saw before, and then three times that size if I want to… But I’d rather not. Because I’d fill up the room,” I admitted in embarrassment. “Awww!” Somepony exclaimed in disappointment. “Get big again! You’re prettier like that!” I blushed, and let the necklace return me to my true size. Yeah, this place was exactly what I needed right now. Besides, I’d never finish a third Parrillada with a smaller mouth than this! Make that a fifth...