//------------------------------// // I Had Salad For Lunch // Story: Benevolence & Entropy // by Lola Dotz //------------------------------// Rainbow pushed the doors of the cafeteria open and made her way to the breakfast bar to meet Granny Smith the cafeteria lady. She was short and overweight but with a big smile that made dimples in her old baggy cheeks. Rainbow smiled as a greeting and pointed at the bar to a wrapped cinnamon bun, which made the old woman nod in understanding, then giving the rainbow-haired woman her breakfast. “Thanks!” Rainbow pulled at the wrapping and took in the scent of the delectable baked good. She was about to take a bite till the next woman in line stiffened as she dug into her pocket. A sad face etched her features and she sighed moving away from the bar. “Fluttershy? Whatcha doin’ why aren’t you getting something to eat?” Rainbow had come up to said woman with a worried brow. “Oh, I just forgot to bring money for today is all. She was awake and so much happened at once I guess I forgot to get what I needed.” Fluttershy put her fingers to her head as Rainbow watched with sympathy. “Here, I’ll get you something to eat.” Rainbow came up to the bar and gave Granny Smith some money to get a second cinnamon bun. “Rainbow, you don’t have to-” “I want to.” said Rainbow, giving Fluttershy the bun and smiling warmly. “You shouldn’t have to starve because of her.” Fluttershy looked down at the delicious breakfast, then she smiled up at Rainbow and gave her a hug. “What would I do without you…?” Rainbow hugged her friend back.“My door is still open for you Flutters, my family wouldn’t mind if you stayed.” Rainbow and Fluttershy began walking back to the group of friends that had gathered at the lunch table. “Thank you, really...but this is my life and I have to do it myself. If things ever get to be too much for me I’ll come to you first.” The two friends looked at each other with sad, knowing smiles before the bell rang through the halls. “Guess we'll meet up at lunch then!” Pinkie chimed, bouncing up and down happily. “Bye girls…” Twilight said as she hugged Flash’s arm. The group walked out of the lunch room and down separate halls to their own classes. Fluttershy was dreading these moments before the second bell would ring, before she walked into class. The past couple of days that week with her new teachers had been nice except for this one Biology class. It was her least favorite class out of all of them, including her classes before Senior year. Mr. Doodle, her teacher for first hour, was one of the hardest teachers to pass. Everyone knew him as the stubborn old man that failed most students, and who paid no heed to a shy girl. And it was only getting worse. While Fluttershy had reluctantly accepted the assignment that had gotten her in detention in the first place, Mr. Doodle was making it extra hard for her in his class, and the book itself made Fluttershy physically cringe. On another note, Doodle mentioned a teacher's assistant would be coming in that very day, which only made Fluttershy feel more tired at the thought of having another looming over her and reprimanding her. Though, this teacher’s assistant could be quite the opposite, but that wouldn’t mean the assistant would be any nicer considering what class they would be in. Doodle would have much influence on the teaching student, no doubt. Fluttershy breathed a heavy sigh as she walked from the world of the hallways to Mr. Doodle’s cold, plain classroom. This time she was a minute early. “So glad you showed up early again, ready for another day in my class?” Doodle chuckled as he paused to look at her and then continued writing on the blackboard behind his desk. Fluttershy smiled sweetly, trying to hold back tears of agony as she began a casual conversation. “I am Mr. Doodle, and how are you today?” Fluttershy tried to kill Doodle’s attitude with every ounce of sugar sweet coating she could gather from her heart. The teacher snorted with his usual frown as he continued writing notes down in white on a black board. That gave the student her cue to get her binder out and her other note pads for the class, being sure to keep her music player in her bag. Other students began filing in, the last student coming in as the bell rang it’s final notice. Fluttershy smiled ahead, reading the notes on the board as Doodle began sitting at his desk and writing in his planner. Studying Human Interaction: Section 1 Good, yesterday we had worked on our reports. I’d hate to do that while in class again. Fluttershy’s attention was caught when Doodle looked to the door and motioned his hand up toward it, as if to say “stay”. His face was etched with a disapproving glare as he looked at the entrance, getting up from his desk. He turned again to the class and greeted all with a grumpy brow. “Roll call.” He said with an exhausted tone. He began with the A’s, each student raising their hand when their name was called. Doodle liked it better when he didn’t have to hear the students speak to him. He stopped calling when he reached the edge of the page and signed it off with his name and class hour, then turning back to the door, his frown deepening. “Class, a couple days ago I had informed you that we would have a teacher’s assistant coming in at the request of our Principal Celestia. He’s a student…” Doodle looked at him with a smirk. “So he’s not professional just yet, he’s only here to learn so don’t think he’s in charge.” Doodle picked up a notepad and signaled the assistant into the room. Fluttershy and all the other students looked to the door as a tall man walked in holding a satchel strap that hung over his shoulder. He was dressed in a nice grey dress shirt that tucked into his khakis and a cozy green vest. Fluttershy was used to looking down at people’s shoes when she met new people, but one glimpse of the man walking in and the odd colors made her blush. Whether it was frustration or how well the outfit actually suited him she didn’t know. But as soon as he walked in and stood next to the desk, he looked at her with a smirk. Fluttershy gaped at the sight of him, her eyes wide in shock. Mr. Cordwood?! Why is he here? What's going on? While Fluttershy panicked mentally, her face was now straight with a small nervous smile to hide her true thoughts and feelings. Mr. Cordwood was pleased with her reaction to him being there in the same class that she'd be. He hadn't planned on seeing her so soon, but he figured soon enough since he would be volunteering at the high school. Cordwood’s new game seemed to take an easier path than he had hoped for initially. He couldn't wait to begin. I'll show you, pretty thing, who I am and why it's best not to ignore me as you've done. Cordwood smirked at the slightly blushed face of Fluttershy, now calming herself. The teacher of the class coughed loudly to stop the noise of whispers; Fluttershy hadn't noticed the other students were talking about the new arrival. “He seems rather weird, don't you think?” A woman behind Fluttershy whispered. “He's not at all attractive, either.” “I'm sure he's not all that intelligent, or at least in clothes.” A man answered back from Fluttershy’s right. She couldn't help but frown at the words being said; she tried to ignore them and look at Mr. Cordwood instead. “He’ll probably be just as mean as Doodle is or worse.” another student said. “Yeah we might as well just ignore him though, like Doodle said he's only here to watch. Kinda useless.” Another. “That's probably all he's good for…” And another. Fluttershy had been listening anyway to the ignorance behind her, but still looked ahead to the teacher’s assistant. All the comments took effect for only a second. Fluttershy saw Cordwood’s face falter, his smug smile twitched and for a moment Fluttershy saw only pain. No attitude, no fearing, nothing but utter pain. Fluttershy watched as Cordwood endured all the whispers as if they didn't effect him in the slightest. But Fluttershy knew now how Cordwood felt. She knew his pain of people looking down on her for her appearance and sometimes only judging on what they had heard. She felt pity, but also understanding. Cordwood had not a single friend in the world, and he was being judged so quickly with a smile on his face...as if he accepted all the whispers as fact. Fluttershy wouldn't accept them. She thought Cordwood was handsome the way he was, he was funny and he seemed highly intelligent, though he was rude when they first met that didn't make him an awful person altogether. Fluttershy turned around and smiled at the group of students who were conversing amongst themselves about the news. They saw her smiling at them and went silent, the whole room did. “You shouldn't condemn before you've even met them, how would you know if he is intelligent or not until he helps you? I think he is fine just the way he is.” Fluttershy whispered sweetly, she wouldn't let them talk badly about him; not about his appearance and solely off what they think. They must know him first. Although Fluttershy didn't know him either, even though she could be defending a mean spirited man, as she turned around to face the front as Doodle coughed once more to get the class’s attention, Fluttershy saw the shock etched on Cordwood’s face. At that point, Fluttershy knew he felt the same as anyone else would have in that situation, and what she had said was the right thing to do. Why did she defend me…? Doodle turned to face Cordwood and groaned loudly when he saw Cordwood wasn't paying attention. “Sir, your attention please…” Doodle was more aggravated than usual. Cordwood’s head turned fast and he realized he hadn't been listening to Doodle’s complaining groans. The teacher’s assistant blushed out of embarrassment and turned his full attention to the teacher. “I will only give a brief moment to explain who you are and why you're here…” Doodle grabbed a piece of chalk from the desk and handed it to Cordwood with a deepening frown. “Write your name on the board, though it's not like we need to know.” Cordwood showed a straight face unfazed by the teachers reluctance to accept him into the classroom. He sighed heavily and dropped his satchel with a thud and walked to the board. The assistant paused for moment, as if thinking about something, taking a small peek behind him at Fluttershy. She looked at him oddly as he smiled, then wrote his last name in uppercase and lowercase letters. As he wrote, the class began giggling, even Fluttershy couldn't help but smile and shake her head. The teacher coughed again, which made Cordwood turn to him after finishing the last letter of his name. “What do think you’re doing?” Doodle asked in almost a growl. “Writing my name of course!” Cordwood said with a chipper voice and his face smiling brightly, but his eyes were mischievous. As he said this the whole class burst out laughing and were smiling at the fact that “mR. cOrDWooD” was utterly hilarious. Doodle looked out at the class which then fell dead silent. Cordwood took the chance to see the face of the woman in the front row. Fluttershy smiled and nodded at him in agreement that he was off to a good start. Cordwood smiled wide, pleased everyone saw him as the class clown. The teacher, however, continued to have a frown etched on his face. “Well, aren't we the funny one? But as you can see this class is not meant for fun, you will stop any urge to enjoy yourself while in my class…” Doodle snorted, then swiped the chalk from Cordwood’s hand and walked off to the corner of the room beside the windows. “Continue, pronounce your name and why you're here.” Cordwood nodded in understanding and turned his attention to the class. Some were still smiling and others were looking at him confused, he rather liked both when they saw him. “The name on the board is pronounced as ‘Cord’ like something to conduct electricity-” “I think they get it.” Doodle interrupted. This made the students suppress their laughter. “And then you simply put ‘Wood’ in the name. No need to call me that however, ‘hey you!’ works just as well.” The class erupted in giggles, Fluttershy let out a small laugh as well, which made Cordwood smile brighter. “I'm simply here because...well I...I wanted to move away from my homeland and become a teacher to the newer generation of America. Since Celestia and I have known one another almost all our lives, she trusted me enough to come here and learn how to teach. I'll be here for the whole year and I'll become a teacher here soon enough...a Biology or Chemistry teacher to be precise. I look forward to assisting all of you, Mr. Doodle included.” Doodle began clapping slowly, as if to taunt Cordwood with each step closer the teacher took toward his own desk. “I didn't ask for your life story, but I'm glad you didn't take too long. You will be standing over there in front of the counter by the windows, if you wish to sit you can in a desk or on the counter itself. I'll allow you to walk around and monitor the students, but that's all.” Doodle pointed to the windows giving initiative for Cordwood to leave his presence. Which the assistant obliged. “Now class, open your books to this page-” Doodle wrote on the board. “We will begin reading aloud.” The class carried on normally, dry and deprived of much energy, but no one falling asleep for fear of being reprimanded. Doodle had passed out worksheets for the students to fill out while he stayed at his desk and worked. Cordwood had taken that as his cue to walk around and watch the students work, one in particular. He came up to her desk, which she didn't even notice until he bent down and looked at her answers. Fluttershy's bangs had touched his cheek with him being so close. She gasped silently, a little spooked thinking it was Mr. Doodle, but calmed when she realized who it was beside her. He didn't look at her but instead at her paper as Fluttershy looked at him through the corner of her eye, pretending to be focusing on her work. “Questions 10, 17, and 4 were overlooked.” he whispered, looking at her at last after almost half a minute had gone by. Fluttershy blinked then looked at her paper, then back at him. “Are you sure?” she whispered back. Cordwood smiled and nodded. He placed his finger in the book and smiled back at her. “Sometimes the answers aren't always in the book, the book doesn't tell everything...at times you have to figure things out and use your own head.” he silently replied. Fluttershy understood and nodded thoughtfully with a small smile. “Thank you.” She continued with her work as Cordwood stood up, but didn't leave till he had begun his turn in their game. “Of course...Butterfly.” He said the last bit with a small wince, but then smiled at her hopefully. Fluttershy had stiffened when she heard it, it was a nickname someone had used for her once, and she wondered how he could possibly know it. When she looked at him, she remembered their game and sighed in relief that he didn't know more than she would want him to. Fluttershy smiled up at him and closed her eyes, shaking her head back and forth. Cordwood frowned and walked off with a huff in disappointment. I thought that would be it because of her necklace...hmph… He referred to the golden butterfly necklace that she had decided to wear that day. He huffed again and continued walking through the classroom, his disappointment apparent for all to see. It made Fluttershy suppress a giggle, and then she continued on with her work as the class minutes passed. Soon enough the bell rang and the students gathered their things. Fluttershy would take short seconds of packing her folders and looking at the teacher's assistant. He seemed nicer today, but he was still only playing a game and that seemed to be the only thing he cared about at the moment besides being in the limelight. Fluttershy sighed and finished gathering her things and walked up to Cordwood who was waiting at the door, gathering papers from the last of the students. Fluttershy handed Cordwood the worksheet that she had corrected earlier thanks to him. She had titled it “Butterfly” out of fun, which made Cordwood give her a “seriously?” look. He took it with care and read it, then smiled, his teeth shining like pearls against his brown lips. “Nicely done, couldn't have worded it better myself, my dear.” Cordwood looked at her, his face becoming more of a relaxed smile. Fluttershy was somehow proud to receive his approval, but there was something she had to say to him to make it all the better. “Not bad for a low-class citizen like me is it?” She smiled at him but her eyes played. It made him look at her with a surprised smile. “Not bad at all...but,” Cordwood felt something there in him. As he was talking with this woman he felt the urge to talk with her more and ask her so many questions about herself. All the things he could say or do. The many things they could discuss with one another and possibly have a great time doing so. He could feel it growing as he looked at her kind smile...and it scared him. She’ll just leave me...they always leave me...they never loved me, she left me, everyone I love leaves. It's better to be alone than to lose. Fluttershy looked at him curiously because he had been quiet for a moment with a frown etched in his features. Then she smiled again as he looked up at her and into her eyes. For a moment Fluttershy saw the same pain she had seen earlier flash through his eyes. Then he went back to his default smirk and teasing eyes. “Not good enough...maybe you should go back to middle school and learn how to write better sentences.” He watched Fluttershy's face, waiting for it to change. But it didn't. Instead Fluttershy looked at him and smiled still. “Thanks for the advice...I'll work on it.” The young woman nodded in determination and then walked out into the hall. Cordwood looked at her paper and at the beautiful cursive writing, and beautifully formatted sentences she had completed her work in. Before the teacher’s assistant took his next longing sigh, Doodle swiped the papers from Cordwood’s grip. A grunt of annoyance came out from him as Doodle walked off with the mysterious woman’s paper. Then he thought back on her beautiful handwriting, and her smile, and the way she was kind to him. “I could've come up with a better insult than that...come now-what am I doing wrong?” Cordwood looked back at the hallway entrance where Fluttershy had left. Why is she so kind to me? Why is she making this so hard for me? Fluttershy picked at the large green veggies that were covering her plate. The small tomatoes rolling off the edges of the cafeteria ware to the blue tray underneath, and the ranch had reached the farthest corners of the green hill of salad. The cafeteria was as loud as ever, but Fluttershy ignored this and instead numbly messed with her food. Rainbow, who had been sitting next to her watched her with a sympathetic look. It might have been easier to leave Fluttershy alone on it, but Rainbow was her closest friend and needed to try and comfort Fluttershy to the best of her ability. Whatever the problem may be. “I hope we get to Chapter Five soon, I’ve read that book so many times, but that part of the book happens to be my favorite! When Caroline finally admits that she was wrong and goes to Dean and they finally have the talk that the readers were waiting to hear since the very beginning-” Twilight spoke enthusiastically as her hands went near her face, a fork in her grasp. A small tomato flinging off the fork and hitting Flash on the cheek at the same moment. Which surprised him for a moment while Sunset laughed at his expense. In a fleeting moment of playfulness Flash grabbed the fruit slice and threw it at the laughing girl’s face. It would have been an endless banter if it weren’t for the continuing discussion. “Twilight how could you! I’ve only read the first chapter!” Rarity pouted. Twilight sheepishly smiled and apologized. “I'm sorry Rarity, I forgot…brownie?” Twilight handed the white woman a chocolate treat with rainbow sprinkles as a sign of apology. “Oh boy, apology dessert!” Pinkie took it from Rarity’s grasp and shoved it in her mouth whole as Rarity sarcastically remarked, “Sure Pinkie, you can have my dessert.”, complete with eye roll and playful grin. The ingredients getting all over Pinkie’s lips and around her mouth as she spoke again, “Apology sweets are the second best kind of sweets!” Rarity and the others shook their heads knowingly with smiles on their faces. “If you don’t mind Pinkie, but, tell me…what would be the first best kind of sweet?” Rarity asked curiously watching Pinkie eat Fluttershy’s brownie she had taken without said woman’s slightest recognition. “No prob, Rarity! Actually, I think the first best kind of sweet would be-” “Fluttershy, why don't you eat something? Your putting my extra lunch money to waste…” Rainbow asked finally in a low whisper, interrupting Pinkie, like she cared though. Even though Rainbow was quiet when she asked, as if it should be a two people conversation, the group was just as worried. No one had wanted to ask, they had learned not to because Fluttershy would only brush it off as nothing, but her behavior now was different than those other times. The woman had only been picking at her food, and nodding occasionally as acknowledgement that she was indeed alive, but was simply spaced out. Though, her face held only sadness, and a confused sort of look. Fluttershy was always quiet and held herself to low standards, but would try to act more happy than she really was around her friends, like nothing in the world could possibly go wrong. Nobody but Rainbow knew of what truly went on in Fluttershy’s life, and the woman would rather it stay that way. She didn’t want anyone looking down on her and pitying her because she had less than others. So she would remain happy for the most of the moment with her friends, and she would keep this mask held until she would return home and to her sorry state of a living space. At the moment however, her face was an odd one. Her mind was almost blank with no other thought but the things that had transpired two days ago and that very same day. She couldn't stop thinking about how Cordwood would blatantly disrespect her and be spiteful, but within the very same hour help her with her assignment. He was so confusing and it made no sense. Why would he be so mean to her just because she was unlike him? Or was it because he knew who she was or where she lived. But he didn't know her name. Then why would he be so opposing to himself at times? And the pain he would show on occasion, Fluttershy knew that feeling. I can’t feel sorry for myself. I’m lucky to have a home and to have friends who care for me like they do. Unlike some people who have a nicer home and no friends...I’m thinking of him in particular. I feel sorry for him. Should I? He was so rude toward me, but at other times he seemed sincere, like he could be the nicest person you’d ever meet. But someone who makes you feel inferior to them is not someone I’d want to be friends with...right? I can’t feel sorry for myself and everything that has been blessed to me. I won’t feel sorry for him either. Everyone has a purpose and I do too, I have to stay positive. I’m sure he has a purpose too, and maybe he’ll be more nice now...but I would never know. I’m not sure if I’d want to know. “Yo! Flutters!” Rainbow was standing out of her bench and was looking at Fluttershy, her face only a few inches away. Rainbow’s back bent and her brow furrowed. “Huh?” Fluttershy said in a low whisper before she looked out to her friends who were staring at her with worried looks. She must have spaced out again and had forgotten to nod or acknowledge her friends, because they seemed to be waiting for her to answer something. “I said, what’s wrong? Why are you so down right now? What happened?” Rainbow stared at her friend awaiting a response. Fluttershy only looked blankly at the rainbow-haired student for a moment, thinking over her options. She could tell them that she had been sent to detention and instead was sent by Principal Celestia to go pick up a foreigner, a man, from the airport and she was insulted the whole way and had to endure his antics. She would have to mention that he is also the new teacher’s assistant for her first hour. Or, she could just tell them she is having trouble in Doodle’s classroom. She chose the latter. “Mr. Doodle sent me to detention the other day because I didn’t want to do a report on a book. He found my music player, I guess I had accidentally pulled it out along with my binder, and it irritated him. Now I'm having to do the report anyway without complaint...even though it’s against everything I believe.” Fluttershy responded and finally took her first bite out of her salad. Her friends looked at her in bewilderment and utter shock. They didn’t know how to respond to the news of their meek little friend being sent to detention for not following instructions. Fluttershy hadn't wanted to tell them that part. “Darling, why on earth would you do such a thing? Wouldn’t you do better to just read the book and do the report?” Rarity inquired, looking worriedly at her friend. Tomorrow would be worse, she presumed. Fluttershy shook her head in response, she only needed to say no, but explained anyway. “I will not read something that is against my faith, I won’t do it guys...I can’t.” Fluttershy reminded them, her fork picking at her salad once again. Her friends looked between each other with an understanding nod. “Fluttershy, we know that you wouldn’t read something that goes against everything you believe. And it wouldn’t be right for us to make you read it anyway.” Sunset began, her surrounding group of friends nodding in agreement. “However, if you wish to pass the year, you’ll have to do what Mr. Doodle asks of you. I think that you could write a report better than what he’s expecting though.” Fluttershy was about to protest to reading such a book, but then she paused when she thought on Sunsets last words. “What do you mean?” Fluttershy's brow lifted. Sunset then smiled eagerly. “Look, instead of doing what he expects you to do, do something you ought to do. Write the report on the book, but use it as an argument with what you believe. No one can tell you to stop having faith, so prove that you're not alone in this.” Sunset said hugging the other with her arm around her shoulder. Fluttershy felt relieved to have such understanding friends. She smiled up at her friend, accepting the comfort. “Revolution!” Pinkie Pie blurted out, to which her friends only laughed light-heartedly. “Yeah, Pinkie, Revolution!” Sunset punched the air with her clenched knuckles straight up, above her head. Flash and the girls laughed and then calmed, continuing their lunch. Fluttershy talked amongst her friends with a more chipper attitude and higher spirits. She couldn’t wait to see what she would do for the report. She wanted to leave an impression on her peers, and possibly her teacher. School carried on normally, and Fluttershy avoided a particular hallway, she’d wait till tomorrow to see Mr. Doodle’s face once again, and Cordwood’s. Other than the long routes, and barely-made-it runs through the hallway, Fluttershy was happy throughout the second half of her day. She didn’t think about Mr. Doodle, or Cordwood, or her home life. Now she could only think about what she would be doing once she left school grounds. Fluttershy unlocked her bike as Flash and Twilight conversed amongst one another, with Fluttershy being the awkward third wheel. “I’ll see you tomorrow at six, with coffee, I promise.” Flash said, holding Twilight's hand loosely and looked out at the sun that had moved significantly since lunchtime, smiling sadly. “Alright, don’t forget the donuts too. Fluttershy? Would you like to join us for breakfast before school? We could come pick you up!” Twilight beamed. She had made friends with all of them now and they had known one another for a little over a year. The young purple woman would always try and drag her friends into activities to do. Fluttershy felt a small bit of pride for her friendship, but then it left when she realized that she couldn’t. “Oh, um, thanks Twilight, but I’ll just go to school on my own. It’s really nice to be in the peace and quiet of the morning before the day starts-” Fluttershy got on top of her bike’s comfort seat and walked the ground, making her bike roll closer, then past her friends. “Are you sure?” Twilight said, a bit disappointed. “I’m sure. Don’t worry about it, I promised this weekend we’d hang out together, and we will. I’m sorry to leave guys, but I have work.” Fluttershy smiled sweetly at the couple before they exchanged goodbyes and the yellow woman peddled off down the street toward town. The wind grazing through her hair as it flew in the air. Fluttershy enjoyed the feel of a bike, the way it was so freeing and it seemed to relax her when she was riding it anywhere. No matter the destination, it gave her a sense of freedom, a sense of flight. Fluttershy stuck her headphones in and listened to her music, her head swaying back and forth, or bobbing up and down as she mimicked the words said through the ear buds. The music being entrancing and the words hitting her soul, making her smile brightly as she rode through town. “And I'd give up forever to touch you. 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow~” Fluttershy sang aloud, passing buildings on the street. A small Movies & Theater, the “Blue Pegasus”, and even the grocery store before she turned her bike into the parking lot of the Town Library. "Hm, hm, And I don't want the world to see me. 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand~” She picked up a sack out of the basket of her bike and made her way inside the library toward the front desk. “Hello Mrs. Yearling.” Fluttershy pulled her earphones out then rested her arms and chin on the desk, since it was considerably higher than your average work space. The woman that was working on the computer turned at the mention of her name and saw the woman who had spoken up. Mrs. Yearling was a short woman who had short greyscale hair and arylide yellow skin. Her clothes were simple, only a plain white dress with puffy sleeves and a button up bodice, with a maroon shawl lightly hugging her shoulders and pinned together with a small compass, the outfit as a whole was pulled together with a small maroon hat that was decorated with a small pink flower. Mrs. Yearling smiled brightly and greeted Fluttershy with a hug before letting her go and speaking. “Oh, my dear, it’s nice to see you again. Sometimes I wish we had readings everyday just so I can see you.” Yearling leaned on her desk and looked down at her guest. Fluttershy giggled and lifted the prior sack she had picked up out of her bicycle's basket. “I have Home Economics this year, we made some cookies for fun today.” “Oh Fluttershy, you really are the best assistant I could have asked for!” The librarian exclaimed, then sheepishly held her hand to her lips when she remembered she was in a library. Yearling opened the small half-door to her desk and went down the steps to the floor, reaching out for Fluttershy's shoulder, while munching on a cookie. The two shared giggles and went to their left to enter the library that seemed to be a bit more crowded than usual. “What would you like me to help with today Mrs. Yearling?” Fluttershy asked, now munching on one of her own cookies. “Well Fluttershy, today as you know, is one of the times I read to the children. Do you think you could help me settle them down long enough to get ready for the reading? It’s a little more work this time rather than every other Wednesday, there’s more kids this time around. Do you think you can handle it?” Yearling stopped beside a bookshelf with children's fiction, awaiting a response from Fluttershy. “Of course, you know I always can.” Fluttershy smiled confidently. “Thank you Miss Shy. Well, don’t forget the apron on the hook. The children are kind of scattered all over the place, so get their attention and seat them on the carpet. I’ll be back momentarily.” Yearling went off into the bookshelves to try and find a book, while Fluttershy went and got her apron off the wall by the entrance of the library. She then proceeded toward the restless children that were talking and playing with provided library toys. “Alright children, who’s ready for a good story, hm?” All the children looked up for a moment with surprised faces, most of them full of excitement. “Miss Fluttershy!” The kids happily went to her and hugged at her legs or tried to climb up on her, which left Fluttershy giggling. The children always greeted her this way, they had learned her name and always enjoyed seeing her at the library to help them learn. “ Hehe, you kids are going to stretch my skirt if you pull on it-Yes, I’m happy you see you too-Oh, careful!” The children attempted to have their own individual conversations with Fluttershy to which she patted the little ones heads. “Now slow down, I’m only here to make sure you kids behave during the reading. Mrs. Yearling thinks you guys need to be watched over, but do you really?” Fluttershy smirked, waiting for the children to understand her logic. “No!” They all giggled jokingly, in unison. “Well, go sit on the carpet and be the quietest little mice you can be so Mrs. Yearling can see how good you all are, hm?” The kids all smiled brightly and joyfully shouted as they went in a hurry to the carpet at the center of the library, awaiting their reader and library assistant. An adult that had been behind the crowd of children, came forward, and now faced Fluttershy with a small child in her hands. “Miss Shy, delightful as always to see you here. You're always so good with the children.” The woman spoke with a soft smile. She was a short light blue woman, her pink hair went into a beehive shape, or a kind of cupcake frosting swirl. The baby she held was a small little boy who was tan and had brown hair that was messed up from either playing or sleeping. The little one smiled at her, to which Fluttershy smiled in return and was given the small toddler to hold and watch over throughout the reading. “It’s not a problem, I always enjoy the children.” Fluttershy was always certain she could help people. She was always volunteering for things. And showing up on certain days at specific places to help others in need. She believed everyone deserved to be treated kindly, and that she should help in any way she could for her community. That’s mostly why a lot of the small town knew her name. Though none knew her home life. Fluttershy was always secretive about her life outside of school and volunteering, she was embarrassed about it. It was only something Rainbow would know. Fluttershy would smile happily, and pretend everything was okay on her end to stay out of trouble and not get stuck in a situation where she would have to admit who she was. And it worked out better that way. Fluttershy smiled still, now holding the young child and walking to the carpet. She sat down quietly beside the other children who were chattering amongst themselves. One of them, the sister of the child Fluttershy was holding, decided to come to the library assistant and rest her head on her lap. The young lady smiled tenderly and caressed the young girl's head before looking up at the children. They finally saw Mrs. Yearling come out with a stack of books in her grasp, which made the children squeal in excitement. “ Hehe, calm down, hush now…” Fluttershy said putting her index finger to her lips. The children then smiled silently in recognition and awaited Mrs. Yearling. The librarian sat carefully down in the wooden rocking chair, placed a stack of children's books beside her, then revealed the cover of one book to the children and Fluttershy. “Hello kids, guess what we’ll be reading first today?” All the kids smiled attentively, which made Yearling chuckle. “Today I’ll be reading The Bird And The Cat, who’s ready?” Yearling nodded when she heard the children shout a resounding “me”. “Alright, let’s begin-” Yearling opened the black-colored cover with only the title in a more shiny material to reveal a colorful page the next. It was a watercolor piece that represented a small yellow bird. It made Fluttershy smile and hug the children in her lap. “Once on a morning, a bird flew high,” The reader turned the page carefully. “It flew above the clouds and over the city, then down to the alley.” Another page. “It landed on a can and picked at it’s feathers, till the peace was stirred and a new noise was heard.” Once again. “Out came a cat, a monster to a bird, but it only looked curiously at her.” The picture was of a grey cat looking at the significantly smaller yellow bird. It looked intimidating to Fluttershy. Such a small bird against a menacing cat, who would the odds be in favor for on the next page? “The bird smiled as a friendly critter, unfazed by Cat’s whiskers. She spoke next, with a voice of a bell. She simply asked, ‘Hello Cat, are you well?’. To which Cat replied, ‘No dear Bird, I am not well.’...” Fluttershy frowned at the book’s context. Why would Cat not be well? This book was curious, and it made Fluttershy feel all different emotions. Usually she would know what would happen next, but this book seemed different. She could relate to the bird in a way, and that made her happy, it gave her a feeling of freedom that she longed for on a daily basis. But she couldn’t understand why the cat seemed familiar and why he wasn’t happy in the story. Yearling turned the page to reveal yet another picture of Cat and Bird. “Bird looked worriedly at Cat, then dared to ask, ‘Why do you feel this way?’. Cat frowned and looked at Bird, ‘No one will stay with me.’. Bird smiled once more and flew on his nose, ‘I’ll stay with you, Cat.’...” Yearling turned the page again. “Cat smiled sadly, ‘Why be with little old me, aren’t I scary?’. Bird pecked Cat’s head and smiled brightly. ‘Of course not silly!’. Cat and Bird smiled at one another, before Cat frowned again, ‘Won’t you leave me though? No one likes a cat, after all...’.” Fluttershy’s frown deepened and her eyes looked curiously at the book. She could understand why Bird would leave if Cat had intentionally tried to scare her, but why leave Cat when he hadn't done anything to deserve such loneliness, only being rejected for who you were was not a reason. Why did it seem that Cat was pushing Bird away with all these questions? What would be the point? Bird wanted to stay, so why would Cat just push her away like that? The book was making Fluttershy thinking harder than she probably should. Yearling continued. “Bird looked down at Cat, ‘I won’t leave, or let you fall...you're my friend now, Cat and all!’. Cat smiled to which Bird frowned and asked, ‘Do you like me this way too? I’m only a bird, a weak little thing. Even then, will you still be my friend?’. Cat smiled wider and answered brighter, ‘My dear Bird, I’ll be here for you. Though we’ve only just met, I don’t feel like leaving just yet.’...” Yearling turned the page and smiled to the children before she read on. Fluttershy was beginning to really enjoy this story. The characters loving one another even though they were an odd pair to be together. They accepted their differences, and became friends anyway, and it turned the story into something bright and inspiring. She could understand why Bird would be self-conscious about who she was, Fluttershy suffered the same predicament. But it was better to have a friend who understood her and accepted her weaknesses than to be alone. Fluttershy hugged the children in her lap and carried a concentrated look as Yearling read the last page. “So Bird and Cat were friends till the end, never to be alone, ever again. Both accepting and understanding, always seeing the better light. Sometimes we hide how we feel, but it's better to be yourself. Keep a friend, and try again. You might be surprised on how your story ends.” Yearling closed the book and sighed. The children cheered, they had loved the book and the characters in it. Fluttershy in particular agreed it was her favorite reading by far. Even though Cat was indifferent to a bird, and Bird was considered weak, the two overcame differences and were friends. It made Fluttershy think about recent events. Cordwood hadn’t been very open about himself while Fluttershy had talked with him. He seemed elusive and not very social, but somehow had the charisma to talk for hours and never leave one without laughter. He was comparable to Cat in the story, almost. Fluttershy thought about it more, it made sense that he would push others away if he felt that he would just lose them in the end. But it gave no excuse for his behaviour. Fluttershy wished he acted more like Cat in the story and was nice to her, like she was Bird. Rather than being cruel and uncaring toward her kindness. He seemed too much like a cat. Fluttershy shook her head free of these thoughts and set the children she was holding down on the floor in front of her. The hours blurred together, and not much else happened as Yearling continued reading children's favorites from the shelves, group after group of children. Pretty soon the once large stack of books beside Yearling’s rocker had been gradually escalated to the other side of her chair, ending the last hour. Yearling finished the last book and rested her hands and the cover on her lap, then looked to Fluttershy, giving an indication, to which Fluttershy smiled and nodded. She stood up and clapped her hands, still smiling tenderly down at the children. “Alright Children, that’s all we have for today-” She said while receiving replied groans and denials. “Go to your parents and tell them to come back next Wednesday and Friday for another reading.” All the kids agreed in unison and ran away from the carpet to their parents. Fluttershy smiled warmly, Yearling coming behind her and putting a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks for the help Fluttershy, you always know how to handle the children.” Yearling said smiling at the young crowd ahead of them, who began to leave the library until next week. “It’s no problem Mrs. Yearling.” “Can’t you help on Fridays too?” Fluttershy turned to face Yearling properly, only to smile sadly. “I’m afraid not, I work in the Soup Kitchen on Fridays, and even then I have to see my friends on the weekend so I can’t stay for the Bedtime Program.” Fluttershy referred to the last reading, the parents liking the children to come after school and hear Yearling read as a bedtime treat. The group was very small and better managed, even Yearling could take care of them and still read, but Fluttershy rather stay through all volunteer hours. Except on Fridays. “Oh, that’s right, I forgot you're a volunteer for everything around here, aren’t you?” Fluttershy giggled at that. She did have many “jobs” around town, just to keep her busy, and to stay away from home. “Alright, I guess I can’t keep you hostage here, I’ll see you next week…I plan on paying you next time.” “Oh, I’m a volunteer today, you don’t have to-” “No, no, it matters not to me whether you are a volunteer or a part-time worker here-” Yearling interrupted. “I will give you some decent earnings. I know usually you work here, I do realize that today was considered a volunteer job because it was supposed to be your day off...but I will still give you something for the work you did.” Fluttershy hugged the librarian saying a ‘thank you’ and walked off exchanging a goodbye, then exited the building. The sun had finally set and stained the sky with red and purple, yellow-tinted clouds could only be seen lower to the ground. The stars had already come out, and the lightning bugs had shown up as smaller stars for the moon and Fluttershy to enjoy. She took in a deep breath and got on her bike, not so ready to go home. She didn’t want to go home to what she knew she was expecting. Fluttershy would rather stay out and watch the sun go down and fall asleep on a hill with a view of the stars. It was a nice thought, if only she could. Fluttershy sighed heavily, then rode her bike down the street. She plugged her earphones in and listened to the words once more. The feel of the bike against the road and beat of the song made her more soothed, but she couldn’t help but feel strained from the day she had. She had gone to school, been herself as she thought best, and wound up in a strange game with an even stranger man. Not to mention the hard times she has had with her teacher Doodle. However, she went through all the motions of her day and ended it on a happy note at the library. But now, Fluttershy would have to suffer the trials at home, if she would even be there. It was like this almost as far back as Fluttershy’s memory goes. Only a few times does she remember when things were happier, when it was all easier to cope with. Fluttershy turned on her street. She tried to avoid it, but she couldn’t help it and looked at the house she had been at earlier that week. The lights were on and the kitchen window was open. She only looked at it for a moment before she saw Cordwood in the window reading a book and placing a dish in the sink. Fluttershy sped faster to avoid any confrontation, though she would guess he didn’t even notice her come down the street with his nose in that book. Instead of running into someone she knew, it was quiet the way home, and Fluttershy felt both relieved and guilty in a way. She didn't usually try to purposely ignore people, but she didn’t want to talk to him twice that day, or at all really. Oh, stop feeling guilty, why should I feel this way?! He wouldn’t feel guilty if he ignored me! Ugh...I’m too tired… Fluttershy pulled into her driveway on her bike, yawning as she got off the seat. She went to the front door and turned the knob to reveal a woman laying on the couch fully awake once the door was opened. She was watching the television across the room from her and was holding a large bottle of clear liquid. The woman was light orange and had white messy hair that was dyed pink at the tips. She wore a dress that stopped above her mid-thigh, making her look as if she had a party to get to. Fluttershy walked in and closed the door, then walked past the couch to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice and looked for something else, only to come away from the refrigerator without it. The young woman looked at the other on the couch and awaited for her acknowledgement, but received none. Finally, Fluttershy sighed and called out to her. “Mom…? Mom-” Still no acknowledgement. “Jasmine?” Silence, Fluttershy sighed. “Did you eat what I had left for dinner tonight?” The said Jasmine didn’t look at the woman who spoke, but instead only nodded as she watched the television. “Oh, alright...I was planning on making us both dinner, but that’s alright if you got hungry before I had got home...” Fluttershy said in a cautious whisper, then got a glass from the cabinet and poured herself some orange juice. “Don’t call me mom, you brat...it’s Jasmine every time, you got that? And it’s my house I’ll eat whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want...you don’t tell me when I eat and what to eat.. Doesn’t matter if you bought it or not.” The woman said bluntly, then got up and walked slowly to the counter that divided the living room and the kitchen. “You should start treating me with more respect, I’m much older than you and have to put up with a lot of shit throughout the day, I deserve every bit of respect since I have to deal with such a pathetic excuse for a daughter.” Jasmine's eyes were mean. They had so much eye shadow and liner, and the rest of her face was covered with a thick layer of make-up. Her hair was in knots and it was greasy, her whole body was a perfect depiction of filth. “Sorry, I just wish you would have saved some food at least for m-” “I don’t care about what you want or need, I come first, you got that?” Jasmine stated, crossing her arms and staring at her daughter across the counter. Fluttershy only smiled sadly. “Of course.” Jasmine looked at Fluttershy for a moment, then behind her at the cabinets. She snorted and then turned back around to the couch, flopping down on the cushions and watching TV once again. Fluttershy silently let out a sigh of relief as she grabbed her orange juice and went to her bedroom. She closed the door slowly and then rested her head on the wood. She closed her eyes and worded a ‘thank you’ with her lips. Usually her arguments with her mother were much more frightful than that. But luckily, Fluttershy got out of it okay this time. She could still remember last night when she came home to find her room destroyed by her mother and her friends. Fluttershy had gotten into a fight with her mom, and wound up getting hurt on her leg when her mother kicked her after pushing her down and yelling at her to be a grateful child. ”At least you have a room, you selfish brat! This memory echoed in Fluttershy’s head once again, reminding her who she was and where she would always be if she didn’t leave soon. The young woman slowly opened her eyes, blinking a few times before she went to the dresser and got out some sleep-wear for herself. She focused, frowning, as she went to her bed and lifted the mattress to get her soap box and shampoo hidden underneath the springs and cotton. She sighed happily, thankful they were still there for her to use. She grabbed them, placed them on top of her clothes, and carried those too with her as she left the bedroom. She went to the bathroom, went underneath the sink, and grabbed a sack of rabbit food hidden in there. Fluttershy looked deeper into the bathroom for a moment, looking at the bathtub. It had muck and grime all over it and was cracked down one side. The faucet was also nonexistent with only a hole in the wall where it should be. She breathed deeply before leaving the bathroom with her items and heading for the backdoor that was next to the bathroom and her mother’s bedroom, which was even more wrecked than Fluttershy’s was. She pressed the button on the handle and opened the backdoor, finally outside of the house again, being greeted by the cool night air. Fluttershy breathed in deep and walked further away from the house to a small forest. She smiled. “It’s okay, it’s just me...you can come out now.” Once she said this in a low whisper, a white rabbit came out from behind one of the trees. “Hello my little Angel, sorry I was gone so long...I brought some food for you to eat-” Fluttershy opened the bag and spilled some of the contents on the ground, which made the rabbit smile thankfully and he dug into the food hungrily. Fluttershy giggled, but calmed herself, frowning. “I think, little bunny, it’s best that you don't’ live with me anymore...only for right now...I can't provide you with food like this every night...you need to go to the forest where you belong.” The rabbit looked up from his meal and pleaded with sad eyes. Fluttershy only sighed and stood back up, pressing her clean clothes and wash products to her chest. “Maybe not now, but soon you’ll have to go and live on your own.” Fluttershy teared up. The rabbit hugged the woman's ankle in understanding then hopped off back into the forest, done with his dinner. Fluttershy smiled sadly, wiping a tear from her eye. She knew she wouldn’t be able to watch him for much longer, it would be for the best. She sighed again, then turned around and walked to the farthest right corner to a large tin bath that was against the wall of the house. She continued with her task by turning on the water hose and filling the tub up with water, occasionally putting small squirts of soap to make bubbles form. It made Fluttershy content as she took her day clothes off and rested in the bath. She had gotten used to the cold water by then and was more content outside in the cold water than inside the house with her mother. She cleaned herself thoroughly, then rested against the rim and looked at the stars. She lived in the part of town that was on the outskirts of the city and town itself. There was all this land behind her house and her mother and herself were the last on the street. She was perfectly safe outside alone. And she wouldn’t want it any other way, she wanted to relax for a time on her own after the day she had. So much had happened, so many things said and actions done. It was so tiring. Fluttershy felt sleep calling to her, and she knew better than to stay in the bath any longer. She got out with a skip, and dried off with a towel, putting her clean clothes on and then dumping the tub’s contents in the grass. She made her way back inside with her wet hair dripping down her back as she went to her bedroom. Fluttershy stared at the bedroom and the mess it was. She knew better than to leave it like this. I’ll clean it tomorrow… She yawned. I have to sleep for now. She dropped her things on the dresser and fell on the mattress. It was so close, the sleep, the peacefulness of slumber and dreamland. Fluttershy’s eyes opened abruptly before she giggled. “I almost forgot…” She whispered. Her body slid down the mattress, her knees hitting the floor. Her hands clasped together and her head bowed. “Dear God, I am thankful for a day I’m still alive. I pray you help me tomorrow and this next week with work and school. Help me with this book report I’m supposed to do...use me to get to others.” She prayed, but paused for a moment when a certain man flashed through her memory. “Oh, and um, help Mr. Cordwood to find a friend. Amen.” Fluttershy climbed back on the bed and curled up with the blanket, the light already being off and the fan on the ceiling running steadily. Fluttershy closed her eyes and let sleep take hold of her as she laid on a snapped mattress on a torn up floor in a broken house.