Extended Holiday
Ch: 99 The Long Trail’s Midpoint
Act 15
Discord’s prophecy turned out true as, later that afternoon, Pinkie Pie appeared at New Unity. Necessary parties had been put off until the only option was for Pinkie to take all the party-worthy reasons of the last few months and condense them into one super amazing party extravaganza, which she explained in a full-on broadway musical number complete with prepared props and backgrounds, extras, and pyrotechnics.
Having finished her invites and press-ganged two thirds of Ponyville’s population into helping, the pink Pony had somehow produced a tent large enough to cover five blocks, and hadn’t been seen within the last two days. Finally, the time for the party had arrived. Grif, Vital Spark, Pensword, and Hammer Strike found themselves standing in Ponyville surrounded by their families, friends, and fiancé in Hammer Strike’s case. Oh, and then there was the matter of the small addition of approximately 75% of New Unity’s active staff and population, most of the Bladefeather clan, and nearly half of Ponyville looking up at possibly the biggest banner any of them had ever seen.
“That is, without a shadow of a doubt, the largest banner I have ever seen,” Grif stated as he looked up at the brightly painted monstrosity.
“Well, at least she knows how to really set up a surprise?” Vital Spark said.
“Reminds me of Unity Day back at training,” Pensword said with a smile as fond memories of a white Pegasus with a blond poofy mane flooded his mind.
“That is a lot of events missed in a few months…” Hammer Strike commented as he looked to the banner.
“I guess we should go inside?” Grif asked, somewhat unsure. It felt kind of foreboding.
“Of course you should, silly! The whole party’s for all of you!” Pinkie said as she suddenly appeared from behind. “And that includes you, and you, and you, and you, oh, and especially you!” she said as she continued to randomly pop up behind various Gryphons and Ponies before leaving behind a little treat for them to enjoy before the main event.
Pensword shook his head and smiled as he entered the tent. He was very happy that this was time to celebrate and just relax. This party was going to be amazing, and he would enjoy spending time with his friends in such a casual setting. Faust knew they deserved it.
In a sudden flash of light, the tent disappeared to reveal stall after stall lining the streets with sweet treats, confections, savory park foods, carnival games, tables, grills, and lots and lots of cake.
“I now proclaim this party officially started!” Pinkie cheered as she fired off her confetti cannon.
“Well, I see some Thestrals treats. I am going to go there first. I’ll meet you all later,” Pensword said. His mouth watered as he smelled the roasted fruit bats on a stick. “And Moony, do not pull….” he paused as he realized he had gone back in time in his head. “Just don’t go pulling pranks.”
He got kissed by Lunar Fang for using a contraction before he whispered into Lunar Fang’s ear, and she returned, both barely audible.
“Well, girls, shall we see what's on the menu?” Grif asked, turning to Shrial and Avalon.
“I think we can live with that,” Avalon said. Shrial agreed.
“So…” Hammer Strike started. “Uh, what now?”
“We have fun, of course,” Rarity said with a sly smile. “You know, that mysterious thing that somehow makes you laugh and smile, so you can work those muscles you hardly ever use?”
“I don’t know. That sounds pretty challenging,” Hammer Strike replied with a smile.
“Shall we see if you’re up to the test?”
“We shall.”
“I don’t know about you guys, but I think I’m going to try my hoof at the shooting gallery. I love me some good target practice,” Vital said.
For the next two hours the many guests proceeded to enjoy the food, music, games and other such party activities in fine spirits. They probably would have kept on doing so had discord not suddenly popped into existence out of a large vanilla pudding, scaring several Ponies half to death.
“Hel–lo, everypony!” He threw his hands into the air and a series of streamers and confetti rained down. “That’s right, the life of the party’s arrived. It’s me, Discord!” He grinned as several miniature Discords proceeded to crow on their trumpets and a random applause sounded out of nowhere. He bowed. “Oh, thank you so much. You’re far too kind.” The applause continued, and he started to tear up. “Oh, you love me. You really love me!”
“I hope you have a good reason for that, Discord,” Hammer Strike commented as he quietly looked to said pudding.
Discord froze in mid-air before shattering onto the floor. The fragment of his mouth spoke hurriedly. “You know, we’re not in New Unity. I haven’t broken any of your rules.” In a flash of white light, he appeared above the trembling Ponies and proceeded to eat some cotton candy cloud. “Anyways, I came here because I have a message for those humans. As it turns out, I do have a way to finally get them back home. It won’t be easy, mind you, but for such … dear friends, I’ve been able to make it safe and foolproof. I hope you’re happy.” He harrumphed as he daintily drank some chocolate rain from beneath said cloud.
Hammer Strike couldn’t find anything to say at that. He looked around, mentally marking where Vital, Grif, and Pensword were before he finally managed to swallow his anger and pride to say something he never thought he would ever be telling the Draconequus. “Thank you, Discord. I will alert the others.”
Discord’s jaw dropped, quite literally. “That’s it? No threats? No trying to beat me up? You’re just going to … thank me?”
“I mean, do you want me to threaten you, possibly try to beat you up?” Hammer Strike asked.
“I’m perfectly fine, thank you,” Discord said as he turned away. Then he gasped and smiled. “Is that Fluttershy I see over there? Oh, goody. I can’t wait to show her how to win at ring toss.”
Pensword waited for Discord to leave before walking over to Hammer Strike. “Did I hear correctly? That he… can send the humans home?” He shook his head, tossing his mane. “We’ll need to talk to him later, in private. I want to know just what it is he needs to do. He is a being of chaos, after all, so there has to be some catch to this.”
Hammer Strike didn’t respond as he stared off into the distance, thinking to himself.
Pensword nodded his head. “If you need to talk...” He trailed off, feeling like he was going to cause more problems if he continued, so he smiled, nodded his head, and turned back towards the table where he and his family had been eating before Discord popped in. Moon River was peeking into her own pudding cup, as if she were looking for her own surprise. This caused Pensword, Lunar Fang, and Fox Feather to suppress their chuckles, feeling worried about what she would do when there was no surprise.
“OVER EASY, CADET!”
Pensword was in mid bite when he heard the shout. Years of training and history caused him to bolt upright and stand at attention as he dropped his food and stared right ahead.
The voice giggled. “Pensword, you know you don’t have to be that way with me. I’m not even physically here, silly.”
“You are here for me,” Pensword replied. He kept staring ahead. “You know the training,” he spoke. He was scared to break it, because if he did it in the past, he was sure to get a lecture from Sore Wing.
“Pensword, you’re my superior now, remember?” Supreme Sunrise said pointedly as she walked in front of him. “You have been since Celestia promoted you.”
She saw that he was smiling, and she realized he was doing this not because of instinct, well, it was the first instant, but the reason why he kept it was because of the fond memories he had with this situation.
“It's good to see you again, Commandant. May I hazard you are checking on one of your descendants?” He could feel the stares from the other Ponies, but he didn’t care. Surprise had visited him in public, and he would give her the attention. “Just mulling over some things that you should know, having crossed over, but also trying to think of how to comfort my daughter when nothing happens with her pudding cup.”
“Oh, I already planned for that one.” Surprise giggled as she pointed to the cup, where Moon River cooed in delight as she pulled out a miniature limited edition Grif Grafson Avatar Ogres and Oubliettes figurine, complete with miniature crossbow and magical projectile projection with the assistance of a tiny mana crystal embedded at its base.
Pensword paused and stared. “Pinkie logic. Bigger things come from smaller things.”
“How is my granddaughter, anyways?”
“She…” Pensword paused as he raised a wing, then juddered to a stop. He slowly lowered it, opened a mouth, closed it. “I am not going to question that type of phrasing, but to answer your question, she is doing well, and she is having fun.”
“Have you seen her family? What other grandma could possibly teach her how to laugh.”
“Actually I have never seen her family,” Pensword replied. “I heard a few comments, but nothing I can put my hoof on.”
“Doesn’t surprise me.” She shook her head sadly. “Igneous is one of the biggest sticks in the mud Faust ever made. I honestly don’t know where I went wrong with them.” She sighed, then she spotted Hammer Strike and gasped. “Hiya, Strikey!” She waved her hoof back and forth.
Pensword’s eyes widened as he saw one ear and then the other twitch in a searching pattern. He gawked at Hammer Strike as he cocked his head softly, and his eyes roved about.
“Ooh, ooh, ooh, he can hear me? Awesome! I’m gonna tell him every pun I know!”
“I’d rather you not. Last time a Pony told any puns around him…. Well, that was a thousand years ago. They never really found the body, and I never saw their ghost. But try jumping…. And talking. I want to see this.”
Commandant Supreme Sunrise proceeded to perform a hopping skip almost exactly like Pinkie Pie’s, only she elongated it with the use of her wings. She then proceeded to recite the entire revised military manual from page one, including the addendum and various charts and graphing information.
Hammer Strike kept looking around himself, ears still twitching as he looked for the source of whatever he was hearing. After a moment, he shook his head and placed a hoof on the side of his head. His expression looked almost like he was dealing with a headache.
Pinkie Pie popped up and started hopping around him, following Surprise in perfect synchronization. “Heya, Strikey! I see you met Granny Pie.” She giggled.
“What?” Hammer Strike asked. “Who are you talking about?”
“Granny. She’s right here! You know, the one who helped me to deal with my fears all those years ago?” She gasped. “That’s right, you weren’t here for that. Let me tell you all about it!” Out of nowhere, a swelling music began to build from the thin air.
“Oh no, she isn’t, is she?” Twilight asked from across the street.
“When I was a little filly, and the sun was going down …”
“She is,” Rarity giggled.
What followed was an exact repeat of the very song that had started the whole montage of musical numbers that followed in their strange and wonderful relationships.
“I haven’t felt this confused in years. I’m hearing music, and what sounds like a hundred voices whispering all around me,” Hammer answered as he placed his hoof once again on his head.
“Oh, that’s cause you’re hearing all the spirits and the whispers from the other side. That, and Granny Pie is kinda like me, but not totally like me. She’s the one who gave me gummy in the first place.” Then Pinkie giggled.
“I don’t hear the dead. So that’s one problem in that statement. Hearing and seeing the dead is what Pensword can do, though I can see Death,” he replied at the end, faintly muttering something about time afterwards.
“Seeing Death is still a big deal in our culture, so I guess you are picking other things up. If you start seeing Ponies who are not there, come talk to me, okay?” Pensword was smiling, but in his head, he was worried. He could only hear the music and two voices.
“Well, I got two you can’t see, but Death sure seems to enjoy avoiding at least one of them,” Hammer replied after a moment.
“Yeah, Chance. Never met him, but Death was in my office for a while, so I am guessing the other is one he likes to avoid?” He shook his head. This conversation felt surreal. “Well, uh, can I tell him where you are, Commandant?”
“Is she on my back?” Hammer Strike questioned.
“Yup!” Pinkie giggled again. “That was a good one, Granny!”
Hammer Strike shuddered. “That is the oddest thing to hear, still. Countless voices just whispering a language I can’t understand…”
Pinkie promptly smacked him on the back of his head. “I told you not to listen to those!”
“Well it’s not my fault I’m hearing it every time she speaks!”
Pinkie frowned and looked at Hammer Strike’s back. “Granny, I think you need to stop.” Her lip was wobbling, and tears stood in her eyes as her mane began to deflate.
“You can come by and visit later if you want,” Pensword spoke quickly in hopes of leaving it open to talk to her again.
Commandant Supreme Sunrise turned to face her granddaughter. “He needs to have a talk with Gummy one on one.”
“Who talks to Gummy?” Pensword asked in confusion.
“Are you sure, Granny?” Pinkie asked.
Supreme Sunrise nodded. “Love you, dear. I’ll leave old Strikey here be for now.” She dismounted from Hammer Strike and yelled at the top of her lungs, “Hey, Death!”
“You know you don’t have to shout, right?” Death said, rubbing his skeletal head as he appeared.
“Who’s yelling?” Hammer Strike asked. “Is it Pinkie’s grandmother? I’ll assume it is, due to what I’m hearing.”
“Yeah, Granny’s gonna have to go for a bit. She asked Death to take her home for a while,” Pinkie said sadly.
Pensword looked at Pinkie. “I am worried. This is the first time you and I know what is going on, and not another living Pony knows.”
“I’ve heard that whispering only two times before, one of which isn’t the best of times in my life, if you understand what I mean,” Hammer Strike sighed.
Pensword shuddered.
“Granny said you need to meet with Gummy.”
“...Gummy, your pet alligator?” Hammer Strike questioned.
“Yeah. He’s actually really, really smart! Like, super smart! Like super duper genius world-breaking mind-blowing smart!”
“...Okay?”
“He taught me a lot more than Granny did.”
Pensword gave Pinkie Pie a blank look as he tried to digest what she had just said.
“So do you think you can have something like this ready before we go?” Grif looked at Rarity, who was scanning over the crudely drawn image of a hiking backpack Grif had provided her with.
“I take it you want me to design this for Taze?” she asked.
“Rarity, you're not thick, and we’re alone. Drop the act,” Grif said bluntly.
“Not while we’re here at the party, Grif. If those nobles are willing to pay to have my Hammer Strike assassinated, then you can bet they’re willing to send spies as well.”
“Okay then,” Grif sighed. “Taze, as it turns out, was a bit of a scholar back home. He left some books that were quite valuable to him behind, and he wants to be able to retrieve them on this trip. He’s hoping, if you can make this, that Twilight will be able to enchant it to be larger on the inside. Then he’ll be able to carry everything he wants to take back with him. The thing is, enchantments take time, so the success or failure of this plan depends on you.”
“Well, it certainly seems feasible. We have a few hiking packs here in Equestria for the adventurous type. I suppose I’d just have to modify the basic design to accommodate his new bipedal measurements. When did you say they were going home again?”
“I think it was a week,” Grif said. “Discord wasn’t very specific, but according to Twilight, it will take a solid two days to get the enchanting done.”
“Grif, I am the creme de le creme of the fashionistas. I could have this order ready for you in twenty four hours if you really needed a rush job.”
“And you actually have some rougher material to make it from? No offense, but silk and such isn’t going to work for this.”
“Grif, I know what a mountaineering bag looks like. I did have to climb a mountain to confront a dragon, after all.”
“Not your best bragging point,” Grif said, chuckling.
Rarity blushed. “That is quite beside the point, thank you very much!” she harrumphed. “Do you want that bag or don’t you?”
“Thanks, Rarity,” Grif said with a chuckle. “I’ll see if Taze can get you a fashion magazine or something from his world. Apparently it’s a big thing there, because they wear clothes all the time.”
Rarity’s eyes turned to stars. “All the time?”
“Yes. Apparently public nudity is considered indecent or something, so they’ve been working on clothing designs for thousands of years.”
“Well, that explains a few things,” Rarity said with a blush.
“Anyway, I should find the girls. Thanks again, Rarity,” Grif said as he got up to leave.
“Anytime, darling, any time. Oh, and do let me know what the cubs’ measurements are when they’re born, won’t you? I have a few ideas I’d like to try for my latest line.”
“I’ll make sure you're one of the first to know, Rarity.” Grif chuckled. “Been getting a lot of Gryphon business?”
“Not too much, I’m afraid. Most of your clan still prefer their armor. Though I do have one or two tailors that are looking for some pointers. I’m considering adding them on to teach them what I can, but I’ll need to run a proper evaluation first.”
“I’m sure once everyone realizes they’re no longer in danger all the time, some of the Gryphonesses will be looking into something easier to wear.” Grif winked at her. “Later, Rarity,” he said before walking away.
“What a nice boy.” She smiled as she made her way towards the main square of the event. Hammer Strike would probably be there.
“Twilight, this is the fifteenth experiment. Can’t we please take a break? My horn is killing me,” Vital Spark said.
Moon River giggled from her perch on his head as she watched Vital and Twilight play their games. She had been entrusted to Vital’s care while Pensword and Lunar Fang hunted for Fox Feather. The sound of rabble rousing in the distance triggered a distinct fear in them as they recalled Pinkie mentioning some of the Demos’ special brew had been donated to the event.
“Just one more experiment,” Twilight said as she jotted extensively on her clipboard.
“Twilight, we already know I’m stronger than a baby Unicorn, but I’m still nowhere near as experienced as a mage my age should be.”
“It’s still spectacular, though. Just think about it. You used to be a completely separate species, and yet now you’re handling magic like you were born with it. True, it’s not quite perfect, but I’m sure with more practice, you could get into a real magical duel and actually stand a chance of winning.”
“Gee. Thanks,” he said unenthusiastically. Moon River giggled as she flapped her wings over his eyes and back again. “So if it’s so spectacular, why do you need me to go again?”
“For the sake of confirmation of results.”
“Twilight, you’ve had me win at the same game fifteen times using magic to replicate the same results. I’m pretty sure that should satisfy scientific theory. Can’t I just have a little fun instead?”
“You’re not having fun?”
“Twilight, I know you mean well, but sometimes you let yourself get a little too excited for experiments and the like. I’m going to be leaving soon anyways, and I know you want to make sure you can understand as much as possible about what happened and why, but honestly, at this point, do you think maybe we could just play for the sake of having fun for a bit instead?”
“But ... but I …”
“Twilight, please.”
“He’s got a point, Sugarcube,” Applejack said as she approached from behind. “If he don’t got much time left in Ponyville, we should be tryin’ ta make that time the best he’s ever had.”
Vital Spark smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, Applejack. Say, how handy are you with a bow?”
“Ah’m a fair enough shot, ah reckon. Why d’you ask?”
“Oh, no reason. Just looking to have some good old fashioned sharpshooting fun. Care to join us on the range? I think young Moon River deserves a new plush toy, and I’d like to be the one to win it for her.”
“Aww, now isn’t that sweet?” Applejack walked up and ticked Moon River under the chin before booping her on the nose. “Uncle Vital Spark’s gonna take right good care of you, young’un.” Then she turned back to Twilight. “Well, what’re y’all waitin’ for? Let’s go!”
Vital grinned. “Race ya!”
“You’re on!”
Twilight sighed as she looked at her research notes, then looked back at her friends as they prepped for the race. Finally, in an action that must have taken a monumental feat of will, she tossed the notes aside and raced to join them on the starting line.
“Is it too late for me to join in?”
“Now we’re talkin’,” Applejack cheered. “On your mark, get set, yeehaw!”
The stand in question was a shooting gallery with the targets covered by a bright red curtain. Several small crossbows lay on the counter, each only a few feet long with a low tension string and a small lever to allow it to be pulled back easily. The bottom held a large hollow box-like section full of bolts topped with a suction cup and a number. A sign explained how the game worked. Each crossbow held a different numbered set of arrows. When everyone was ready, the Pony manning the station would press a button, and the curtain would rise. Targets would move across the field, and the object was to hit the most targets in the next three minutes. At the end, the arrows would be collected and counted, and the one with the most hits would win and claim their prize.
“You ready up there, Moon River?” Vital asked as he handed her a crossbow. Moon River cooed happily as she primed it for launch. Twilight, Applejack, and he did the same. Somewhere nearby, a Pony accidentally bumped a gramophone that had been waiting to be used, and a familiar piece of music began to play. When they looked back, Moon River was wearing a wide-brimmed hat with the brim tilted downwards, and somewhere, somewhen, somehow, she was wearing a dusty poncho.
Pensword was looking for Fox Feather, but he couldn’t help but freeze as his ears perked to the electric guitar twang. His eyes widened before his mouth broke into a creepy smile before broadening into a grin. He then proceeded to make his way towards the booth, staying put to watch this contest of the princess, the cowpony, the mage, and his daughter.
Behind the trio, two tumbleweeds blew down the street as the music kept playing. The second time the duck calls sounded with the heavy background of stallions lining up behind to chant with the song. All the spectators jerked their heads up and the sounds of clangs and dings from the arcade game sounded loud and noisy. No one could tell who fired first, as the flurry of bolts crashed into their targets.
At last, the flurry settled, and the song came to an end.
“All right, time to tally. Who won?” Vital Spark asked the stall owner.
The Stall owner looked to the colored feathers and the numbers on the shafts. “Okay, first off, we got from the least. My apologies, your highness, but you only got five bolts on the board. Next runner up is our white unicorn friend with a total of ten. Miss Applejack, I believe you beat your old record by with a whopping sixteen.” He smiled as he looked to the colored crossbows before the straw he had in his mouth hung limply in his mouth as he noticed who was holding the crossbow. The others slowly turned to look at Moon River. “T ... twenty.” he spoke. “She missed...” he saw Applejack eyeing his flank. “Okay, that is where the twenty first bolt went.”
Moon River had her hat tilted so low only one eye was visible as she lifted her crossbow to her face. It was at this point the others realized for some reason the end was smoking. With a devil-may-cry air to her demeanor, she blew the smoke away. “Jackpot”
Almost like it was a magic summoning spell, Pensword and Lunar Fang had appeared at her side, crushing Vital Spark beneath their hooves before they seized Moon River and launched into the air. “Her first Word! Her first word!” they cheered.
“Uh…” One of the construction workers began. “Didn’t she say Daddy and Mommy?”
“Thestrals consider that the babble of foals or the hissing. Parents can hear words that may or may not be words, but this, this we can tell. This is her first fully spoken Equestrian word,” Lunar Fang crowed.
Pensword was just beaming and grinning with pride at his daughter. He realized something. “Do you want to name your crossbow?” he asked like a father asking their daughter what to name a puppy, which unnerved a few ponies.
“Jackpot,” she said with conviction. “Jackpot!” She giggled as she hugged the little crossbow to her chest.
“Can Daddy play with you?” Pensword asked as he looked at his daughter with a grin.
She cooed and jumped onto his head and he fluttered down. He picked up the blue bolts while she stuck with the yellow color. The two grinned as they aimed at the stand. The Stallion looked nervous, having never seen looks like these on two ponies before. With a snap of a wing that the vender thought meant to go, he hit the button. Buzzers and lights sounded and flashed once more, and the pair immediately began to lay into the game. Lunar Fang grinned as she watched her mate and daughter bond.
The Vender stared at the targets in disbelief. “We… we have a tie.” All twenty one bolts were sticking on the target bullseyes.
“You did awesome, Moon River. That was amazing! Good job.” He looked at the large prizes. With their skill, they’d earned three of them. Twilight was holding onto a cheap throwing dart, her prize for the numbers she hit. Vital’s prize was little better. He got a tiny wooden figurine of Celestia. Applejack’s prize was a semi-large apple pie plush toy. She grinned as she placed it on her back.
The first Prize Moon River picked was a pillow in the shape of the moon with the mare in the moon. The prize Pensword picked was a stuffed figurine the same size as him, portraying the idol from the first Daring Do book. Moon River’s final prize was a plush sword and shield set that reminded those from Earth very much of a certain green tunic-wearing boy.
She grinned as she waved to another Pony with a triforce cutiemark also carrying the same set. He was walking away from a slingshot arcade. His sister smiled alongside him as she carried a toy bow and arrow set on her back that Link had given her as his second prize from the slingshot game. All the while Epona grinned, watching her two children with pride as they made their way to the next game.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were engaged in a heated argument that most of the Ponyville townsfolk were doing their best to ignore, lest they be the victim of the chaos that inevitably followed the trio.
“Well,” Dinky began, “I think…”
“I Know!” Scootaloo cried out. “We can talk to Hammer Strike about what we could do for cutie mark ideas. This is a brainstorming session, after all.”
“That’s a great idea!” Applebloom agreed enthusiastically. “With how smart and strong he is, he’s sure to have some ideas we can try!” With a cheer, the group of fillies left the table and raced from their end of the grounds in search of the smith. In a matter of minutes, they had him surrounded in a manner that unnerved a few of the townsfolk. They slowly began to drift away from him, only too aware of just how volatile a meeting of this sort could be.
“I take it you five have something you wish to discuss?” Hammer Strike asked as he looked over his shoulder.
“I still say we should have asked Grif,” Sweetie Belle muttered.
Dinky ignored the comment. “What my colleagues are wondering is, well, we’re out gathering ut ideas for the next few months of crusading, and, well, we were wondering if you might have any ideas for us to try.”
Hammer Strike noticed Caramel signing rapidly with her forehooves to cut that possibility.
“I’d offer ideas, but I haven’t a clue on what you’ve all done in the amount of time you’ve been crusading,” Hammer Strike replied.
Sweetie Belle jumped forward, shouting, before Applebloom could fully pull a scroll from her saddle bag. “Just throw out ideas, and before you say anything, we already tried list making for a cutie mark.”
“That oddly sounds like it was a suggestion from Twilight.”
“It was,” Dinky responded happily.
“Spike suggested comic book writers,” Scootaloo added. “That got boring fast, but we did make one issue.”
“Twilight has it locked up for some reason,” Applebloom responded with dejection.
Meanwhile in another part of the fair, Twilight whacked spike with a wing.
“Twilight, what was that for?”
“For the CMC comic book. You were lucky Luna was able to contain it.” She shuddered. “And all my magic books were still on the shelf. How did they manage it?”
“I thought it was cool,” Spike spoke up, before wilting. “Well, after the scary stuff was over, that is.”
Hammer Strike hummed for a moment. “Have you tried designing? Perhaps making blueprints for concepts that come to mind?”
“I do that all the time,” Applebloom responded. “I did it for the clubhouse, for scoots’ new wagon, a stage.” She frowned. “Maybe we could do a play zone for New Unity? A playground?”
Hammer Strike chuckled faintly. “Perhaps some day later down the line. But it seems like something you can work on again.”
Sweetie Belle wrote down the idea on the parchment. “Oh, and girls, we need to capture Pipsqueek to make him a member, too,” she reminded as she read over a few of the previous goals on the list.
“Later,” Scootaloo said poinedly. “Oh! I just had a great idea! We could try throwing heavy metal objects over long distances.” Sweetie Belle jotted that down as well. “Do you have anything we can throw around?” Scootaloo asked Hammer Strike.
Hammer Strike pat his coat a few times, ignoring the knives. “I don’t have anything on me that would be a good thing to pass around.”
“Okay. Maybe we can ask one of the venders. Maybe a pie plate?” Dinky muttered with a grin.
“Only if it’s a frisbee pie dish. Those are the best to throw around,” Button replied with a grin.
“Why do I have a feeling someone is going to be cleaning up a mess sometime in the next … fifteen minutes?” Hammer Strike muttered to himself.
“Well, bye Mister Strike,” Dinky replied as the others raced off. “I’m off to keep time in check.” She winked.
Grif was walking down the stalls with a large scoop of ice cream on a cone, smiling as he was about to take a bite, when a pie tin hit him in the side of the head. The impact caused him to sway for a minute, but he pushed past it to focus on the most important thing, keeping his ice cream from falling. Once he was sure of its safety, he picked up the offending pie tin and proceeded to scan around for where this poorly thought out assassination attempt had come from.
Dinky was racing up to him. “I am so sorry. I was trying to throw to Scootaloo, but I misjudged the trajectory, and due to some lumps from previous throwings, it wasn’t as aerodynamic as I thought it would be.” She blushed while looking cute for a tiny Time Lord. “Can we have our frisbee back?”
Grif looked at the pie tin for a moment, then at dinky. He drew a knife and proceeded to shave off the lip on the rim of the pie dish before running a claw around the inside, the tin was forced to mold into more rounded edges. He then looked down at dinky.
“Grab it hoof in the rim, curve it back when you throw, and let it spin. Make the wind do the work for you, and you’ll find it’s a lot easier to hit.”
“Thanks!” Dinky grinned. “You might tell Chesire about this sport. She’d probably like it,” she said with a smirk as she turned around and raced away to meet back up with what was rapidly turning into a lot more then just four foals. Regrettably, as Dinky threw the pie tin, it flew so well that it collided with a cask of tree sap. it wobbled, then it dropped, then it burst open, washing the four with a tidal wave of syrup.
“Why is it always the tree sap with those four?” Grif questioned to himself.
Rarity sighed as she heard Grif’s question and started forward as she pulled a soap bar from a saddle bag. “If we could answer that, we would all be a little healthier.”
“Pensword, I was hoping I’d bump into you while I was here,” Cheerilee said happily as she passed a drink over to Fox Feather, who was currently enjoying her fifth. “And Moon Shade, it’s always a pleasure to see you. How’s the baby?”
“Moon River is doing well. She had her first conquest, a Changeling whose horn she broke a few weeks back. He’s her nanny now.” She grinned. “My husband told me about the letter, and I’d positively love to teach your students about Thestral culture and traditions.”
Pensword nodded. “I do apologize that I will not be talking about culture, but, you see, I am, as I stated, a thousand years removed.” He laughed. “It would be like asking Clover the Clever to talk about Unicorns. I do not want to give false information about today’s generation. That being said, I will be more then willing to tell you about Thestral Culture from a thousand years ago. Does that sound agreeable with you?”
“Pensword, that would be wonderful. You and your wife could easily tie the two lessons together. I know a lot of today’s culture is based on past traditions, and, if my research is correct, you do your best to keep those traditions and legends alive for the next generation to enjoy.”
“If you don’t mind my asking, Miss Cheerilee, why are you serving drinks?” Moonshade asked.
Cheerilee sighed. “A favor for my sister. She was understaffed today, so I agreed to help her out just this once, since this is a celebration for you, Hammer Strike, and the humans, among other things.”
“Well I think it very noble of you to do so,” Pensword spoke up. “I also agree. That sounds like an amazing plan. Could we have perhaps two days to go over it all? After all, you are going to be the one making the rules. You get to pick how much time we can have for this lesson. Just let us know the times we have to work with, and we’ll start on a lesson plan when we get back.”
He smiled at his wife, and she kissed him on the cheek for using a contraction. Not to be outdone, Foxfeather flew over and pecked him on the cheek before making her way back to the table. “So, are you two going to join me for a drink, or not?” she asked with a playful smirk.
Pensword looked to Cheerilee. “Do you have earl gray, or maybe some sugar cane?”
Lunar Fang snorted. “Go for some Lunar Tea, dear, if she has some. Or I’ll get some of the Dream Clan to brew some,” she said cheekily. Pensword shook his head with an amused smile on his muzzle.
“So that’s two earl grays, then?” Cheerilee asked.
“Two Earl Gray,” Pensword agreed. “I am sure my mate is going to be getting me some Lunar Tea. It’s an old habit from the Third Gryphon War.” He smiled as he waited for the cups to be delivered.
“So what have you two been doing, eh?” Fox Feather asked. “Living it up? Maybe doing something a little off the books?” She chuckled, and her face flushed as she took another swig. “That Berry’s drinks pack a punch.”
“I shall take your word for it,” Pensword answered. “As for living it up...” He shrugged. “I really cannot answer that, and I assure you, a lot of things we all do are off the books.” He slid in slyly and whispered in her ear. “Which includes you tonight.” Then he grinned.
“About time,” Fox Feather grunted. Then she kissed him full on the lips. “I was getting tired of waiting.”
“You are to enjoy that starting today. I am putting you on leave, as you have to be the temporary voice of our house while we are gone on the diplomatic trip to the humans’ world.” He couldn’t stop grinning. “Still, I have to say, I am not sure if you are acting, or really drunk. This seems a lot less of what you drank to become free tongued last time.”
“I might have shared a cup or two with the Demos.”
Pensword sighed and face hoofed. “That makes sense.” He perked up. “Thank you for the tea,” he said as Cheerilee promptly dropped the steaming cups on the table. He slowly picked up the first tea cup and took a sip. “Now that hits the spot.”
“I love you,” the two mares said in unison as each kissed him on either cheek.
Matthew was shocked and still a bit overwhelmed at this. Pensword was simply happy, and pleased that he had two mares for a herd.
“I love you girls, too.”
Vital Spark felt a distinct tingling sensation as he passed through a side alley on the way back to the food spread. He sniffed a few times, and the scent of fudge wafted into his nostrils.
“Okay, Discord, I know you’re here. You might as well show yourself.”
“And it seems my meddling sister’s influence is at work again,” Discord said as he melted out of one of the alley walls before reforming into his regular form.
“First of all, you have a sister? Secondly, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I could just tell you were distorting space by other means.” He shrugged. “Got a little help from a pair of agents from Warehouse 13.” Then he winked at the Draconequus and smirked. “I think you’d enjoy it. So much chaos.”
“Please don’t be so surprised. You already met her,” Discord said with a tired flip of the hand. “I mean, seriously, you were supposed to be the smart one.”
“You do realize there’s no evidence anywhere in my world or this one that you had a sister, right? I’m guessing you’re talking about a certain lady who lives near New Unity?”
Discord rolled his eyes and slow clapped. “Very good, Mister Spark. I’d give you the free vacation to Zebrica, but you wouldn’t have much use for that now, would you?”
“Well, given I’m going home soon, probably not,” Vital agreed. “Zecora might like it, though. I’m sure she’d love to see some of her old family and friends back there for a while.”
“But is that what you want?” Discord asked. His voice had an infuriating superiority of someone who knew something nobody else did.
“It’s what everyone else wants for me,” he said pointedly. “Say, Discord, I always wanted to ask you. Why did you pick me when you reached into our world anyways? And why my time? I’m not too angry about it anymore, and I’m willing to forgive you and all that. I just … want to understand, I guess.”
“In all honesty, it was a misunderstanding. Your friend appeared to be so savage and dangerous, I could feel the chaos just thriving off him, so when I sent my magic out, it was to find the most human person it could. Seeing as your friend was the basis for my analysis of your race, I used his mind to set the criteria along with a person who might give him pause. I guess my magic set the criteria for the most humane, rather than the most human,” he mused.
“I thought you could use your magic to basically warp reality however you chose,” Vital said with some surprise. “Isn't that the whole point of chaos? To change things?”
“If I were to tell you to pick out the bluest patch of sky right now,” Discord pointed to the clear sky, “which patch would you point to?”
“The one that’s peeking out of the sudden swarm of cotton candy clouds?”
“Very funny,” Discord said, shooing the clouds away like birds, which they indeed flapped their wings, and Vital was sure he heard a squawk. “I can alter my reality fine, but I had to reach out to another reality, and from the other side of my narrow view, I saw a world radiating chaos. Do you honestly think I could choose a specific person like that?”
“Considering you’re supposed to be ‘the Lord of Chaos,’ yes.”
“It’s not always that simple.” Discord shrugged. “I suppose it might have been fate playing her hand. She’s always such a control freak.”
“And her twin sister Destiny, I suppose?”
“No, Destiny is so sure she knows everything already, she never gets directly involved with anything.”
“I am both unsurprised and a little uneasy to hear about these new people.”
“Anyway, you should think about what this all means to you, because in the end, the choice should be your own,” Discord said pointedly.
“That doesn’t sound much like you, Discord. Don’t you usually like manipulating others to make the choices you want them to make?”
“Nonsense! I want to make sure my ‘friend’ is happy,” he said as a halo appeared over his head before he promptly removed it and bit into it like a donut. He dunked it into a cup of cocoa he conjured just for extra measure. “Besides, it’s not like anything bad could happen from you staying back home. I just want to make sure I’m not doing anything that would get certain people angry in the end.”
“I do kind of have a life back home. My family is probably worried sick. And besides that, I’ll be able to hear word from the others when they come to visit, right?”
“Oh, and is there no one you’d miss here?” Discord asked.
“Of course I’d miss people, Discord. But the real question is, who would I miss more? I’ve made some great friends here, but … friends can’t always replace your family.” He turned to look towards the party, where more than a few foals were happily enjoying the love of their mothers and fathers. “And I’ve really missed mine while I’ve been here.”
“Oh, very well. If you simply must return, I won’t stop you,” Discord said as he rolled his eyes. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to meet Fluttershy.” And with that, he exploded.
Vital Spark chuckled. “You know, Discord, I think I’m going to miss you, too.”
“Let's see,” Grif said, doing a third check as he practically stuck half his body inside the hiking pack. True to her word, Rarity had finished the bag within half a day, and Twilight had enchanted it with several space-altering spells that had been checked and double checked by Clover, making the backpack several dozen times larger on the inside without needing to worry about the weight. “Spare knife, tent, emergency kit, ration packs, several thaumic crystals in case the enchantment needs fuel, gold, and a list of things to bring back.” He winked at Shrial and Avalon as he backed out of the bag. “You think I should take anything else?”
“Maybe the kitchen sink?” Shrial suggested sardonically.
“Don’t mind her, Grif. She’s just sore because this trip is so close to her delivery date,” Avalon said pointedly.
“And he’d better be here for it,” Shrial growled back. “I want our babies to know their father the moment their eyes open for the first time.”
“I promise you I will fight an army, if need be, to be there for you,” Grif said as he walked up and kissed her forehead. “Nothing in this or any universe could mean more to me, but I’ve left a few things back at home I would like to have, things I want our children to have.” He gave her his best dashing smile. “Besides, there is plenty of non-sentient meat back there, and humans have spent lifetimes learning how to get the perfect cuts. I’ve arranged for Thalia and Gilda to split things between them while I’m gone, so there should be no need to bother either of you.”
“Always the supervisor.” Shrial smirked.
“But that’s one reason why we married him, isn’t it, Shrial?” Avalon asked.
“Oh, Winds, yes, but you’re not supposed to let him know that, Avalon.”
“Besides.” Grif walked over to Vigilance and Vengeance. “I can’t take these with me, you know. To take them off Equis would be death, so everything I am is here in this compound: my family, my friends, and my swords. If I didn’t come back to you, I’d be as good as soulless.”
“That would put a bit of a damper on our relationship.” Shrial grunted as she clutched at her belly. “I think they don’t want their daddy to go,” she chuckled.
He put a talon gently on her stomach. “Don’t worry, little ones. Daddy will be back shortly, with many wonderful things and wondrous tales to tell you.” He looked up to Shrial. “I pity anyone who’d cross you with such fearsome fighters in the waiting.”
“They’d have to get past me first.” She smiled and stole a kiss. “Don’t be too long, all right?”
“Discord predicts we’ve got three days, four at the most. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Picking up Vigilance and Vengeance, he walked to the round table, the one he had taken as his loot from Fort Triumph, and walked around it clockwise once before placing Vengeance at the one o'clock position in honor of Lancelot, Arthur's closest knight. Then he placed Vigilance at the six o'clock position, where he always envisioned Galahad sitting at the siege parleys. “I place my swords upon the table as my oath that I will return. Until that time, let no being remove them from their places. By this very table and what it represents to me, I will return.” Grif wasn’t sure, but he swore he felt a shock as his hand left Vigilance. He could almost see a tall human next to Vengence nodding to him before vanishing.
“Be safe, Grif,” Avalon said as she embraced him. “We’ll see you again soon. I know it.”
“Hey, I’ve had the entire gryphon army thrown at me, and they ran away.” Grif chuckled. “The difference is I know exactly how the humans think. Taze is a historian, after all, and humans seem to have a habit of repeating themselves. I’ll be fine. Heck, with the approximate value of the gold I’ve got with me, I’ll be better than that. Now what shall I bring you two? Exotic chocolates? Knowledge from beyond? What will it be?”
“Surprise us,” Avalon said with a smirk.
“I always do.” He smirked back. Spreading his wings, he embraced the both of them. “I’ve got to go. The train to Canterlot leaves at noon, and Discord said it would be best to do this near his old statue pedestal. I love you girls. Be safe, and I’ll see you when I get back.”
“We’ll be waiting,” Shrial said as she leaned into the hug.
“Always,” Avalon agreed.
Vital Spark sighed as he looked at the frigid crysalis he’d managed to form over the egg with the assistance of Shawn’s thaumaturgy. It looked more like a dragon’s egg than it did a phoenix now. All those layers of ice, and the young hatchling just waiting on the inside. He felt a slight pang of regret that he wouldn’t be able to see it hatch.
“You’ll take care of it when it finally emerges, won’t you, Clover?”
“As if it were my own foal,” Clover said before stopping for a minute. “... Probably better than that.”
“Thanks. I know it’s not original, but … if it’s a girl, call it Crya. If it’s a boy, call it Cryo.”
“I’ll make sure it’s done.” She nodded.
“Then … I guess this is it, isn’t it? Should … should I leave my focus with you or take it home with me?”
“I suppose it would be strange in your world, but you should take the pearl. It’s chosen you, after all.”
“... I guess it would serve as a good reminder of my time here.” He sighed. “I just wish this didn’t have to be goodbye forever, you know?”
“Sometimes fate decides things against our wishes.” Clover sighed. “You’ll be missed, if that's any comfort.”
“It is, and it isn’t. This would be a lot easier if we had some sort of system for writing letters and the like between the worlds.”
“Well, not yet, but who knows with the future? It’s an area of study I might just look into.”
“I’d check with Shawn before we go, then. He’s the one with all of Star Swirl’s notes.”
“Are you going to be okay?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.
Vital sighed as he clicked the band and shifted back to his human form. Then he reached down and embraced Clover. “I think I will be. I’m just going to miss you all a lot. Part of me wishes I could just make a clone and link our two minds together each night so we know what’s happening in each other’s lives.” He chuckled. “And don’t even think about suggesting it. I’d rather stay myself. Just … thank you, Clover. For everything.”
“It’s been an honor,” she told him, nuzzling him gently.
“Why does it hurt so much to part ways?” he croaked as the patter of tears sounded on Clover’s back.
“The Kitsune like to say that a master and a student must walk the same path until they reach a crossroads, and then they must part, but they will always remain at the same destination. They just take different paths.”
“You know, it’s funny. I haven’t cried like this in a long time.” Conor sniffled and wiped away the tear tracks as he stood up. “I guess that means I have good memories here with all of you.”
“Then keep those close to your heart. There are too many Ponies who’ll remember me as a grouchy old mare. It would be nice to have one out there who has something different to say.”
“Well, you are kind of grouchy,” Conor said with a playful smile.
“I can also put you through several stone walls without killing you,” she said in a pleasant tone.
Conor laughed. “Thanks, Clover. I needed that.”
“Well you should be heading along now. The train leaves soon,” she noted. “I’d accompany you, but then I’d never get out of the castle without being swarmed by the nobility.”
“And there’s where being able to be human comes in handy.” He sighed. “I guess I’ll see you around. At least, I hope I will.”
“Safe journeys, my friend.”
“Thank you.” He bowed and then saluted to the egg. “You be good now, you hear?” he told it, then turned to grab his luggage and removed the pearl from his focus. “Goodbye, Clover.” And then he was gone, though his many scrolls and reference guides to magic remained.
Clover turned to her alchemy table and ground her pestle calmly into the mortar. No one was there to witness the tears dotting her workbench.
Rarity looked at Hammer Strike as he sat at his desk. “What do you mean I can’t go?” She looked at him with narrowed eyes. “I told you I would go with you on your adventures from now on, and I meant it.”
“This isn’t much of an adventure, Rarity. This is more of a … goodbye, I guess.”
“And part of that is seeing your parents. Are you not going to introduce them to your fiancé?”
“I would love to, but there are too many problems that I just can’t risk. If we do more than one trip back, then you are free to come with on the second one, but this one…. I know there’s going to just be nothing but problems.” Hammer Strike frowned.
“I Guess.” Rarity deflated as she conceded to Hammer Strike’s logic. “But I want pictures, darling. And I’m holding you to that second trip promise.”
“I’ll see to it, if I can. The only reason this trip is going to be a problem is because, from what I’ve learned from Conor, we’ve been gone over two years. They don’t drop cases until seven, meaning when we’re found–Not if, but when, there is going to be a lot of … I would guess complications from the US government. Most likely trying to question us as to what happened.”
“I understand that,” Rarity responded. “Regardless, I know you’ll come back just fine. It’s not like they can keep you there. And besides that, if they tired, I’d just cut through them all to find you, including Discord, if I have to.” She smiled. “You’d just better hold to that promise.”
Hammer Strike chuckled. “I will. But speaking of the other world, I don’t have much packing to do, honestly, so… I’ve got nothing but free time.”
“Maybe we could go for a walk, and you can show me what you have planned for the expansions? I’ve already seen the basic markings, but I don’t really know the specifics yet. Oh, and you wouldn’t happen to have a little extra room in those bags for a couple more things, would you, dear? It won't be much.”
“Sure.”
“Wonderful,” she cheered, then hovered a sun umbrella from its place by the door. “Ready for our walk?”
Hammer Strike stood from his desk with a gentle smile. “Certainly.”
Pensword stood in the storage barn looking over last minute additions and checklists. Two Pony transport carts stood at the ready, fully stocked. They reminded Matthew of the smaller handcarts humans had used to cross the plains on Earth as they journeyed west, only instead of a handlebar, this cart had a harness. He ran over the list once more as he checked the inventory: books, translation parchments and reference guides, pictures, and smaller forms of military tools for his family to display in their home. Matthew was confused at that last one, since his family wasn’t medieval, but to Pensword, this was tradition, and if Equestrians ever came to Earth, then by Hurricanes blade, they would know who the Conners were.
He also included fantasy books, bestiaries, and many a journal. There were gems and gold coins for both his family and the United States government to act as a gift and sign of good will between nations.
He checked one more time in his cart to check on his experimental board game. He wanted to see how humans would handle it, and he figured it would be a good way to tease some of Matthew’s relatives. Matthew heartily agreed. He looked over Lunar Fang’s cart and smiled at the space they had made to bring Moon River with them.
“All packed and ready, I see.” There was a blue flash as Luna appeared nearby.
“That is correct, including a list of what it is I will be bringing back when I return from Earth,” Pensword replied.
“I’ve finished the documents for the Lunar Court. I took the liberty of dropping them off, as I don’t know how much time we’ll have to see you before you leave,” Luna explained as she floated several scrolls towards one of the carts.
“Thank you. I just hope that the transfer of scrolls will go smoothly. I am ready, however, in case it does not.”
“Cadence will meet you at the palace gates in order to take custody of Moon River until your return,” Luna said.
“Wait, uh, excuse me?” Pensword asked in confusion. “Can you please say that again, Chieftess?”
“Cadence has managed to arrange to look after your daughter on this trip,” Luna repeated. “I figured you would be comforted knowing it was her, and not a random noble.”
“But… but…. She has to meet her grand… grand…” He struggled for a moment before the light of discovery filled his eyes. “Oh, Grandparents. I was hoping she could meet them.”
Luna shook her head. “She is currently your only heir, and betrothed to the Crystal House. The laws regarding this matter are absolute. She must stay within Equestria in case something should happen.”
Pensword frowned. A war waged in his eyes. “Then,” Pensword grated out as he forced control. “When we arrive in Canterlot, may I have a royal writ that denotes special protection for my family in case they are threatened? Because if they cannot see their grand foal now… then I want them to live to see one of them.”
“Of course, Pensword,” Luna said. “I’ve already written up the proclamation, just in case you might have asked for something like this.”
Pensword sighed. “Thank you, Luna. Do you wish to have any gifts given to Earth?”
“There are none that I can think of,” she said, “only that you arrive safely and return to us in similar condition.”
“I shall do my best to follow that request,” Pensword responded.
Pensword was surprised to find Matthew taking more control as he looked out the window at the passing countryside. He smiled as he looked to his daughter. Moon River was laughing as she played with her plush toys and looked out the window. Lunar Fang was snapping last minute pictures of the two of them looking out the window as they twitched their ears at the sound of the train’s whistle and the click clack of the tracks.
Shawn sat by himself in the big car’s corner, lost in thought. It had been so long that he had nearly forgotten his own parents, but he could still faintly remember their names and faces. He sighed and his eyes drifted to the window, eyeing the landscape as it changed from forest to plains and grasslands.
Taze shifted his arms and cracked his neck, feeling the bones pop in place as he took in his human body after a long time of misuse. He was taller than he remembered, and more buff, but having seen himself in the reflection of the window, he was shocked to find himself nearly a different person. His blue eyes were sharp and bird-like, and his nose was pointed and larger than he remembered or liked. His hair had gone from dirty blond to black with dark green tips that looked like he’d dyed it. He’d had to scrounge an emery board because his fingernails were long and sharpened to a point when he first took human form, and he still had trouble adjusting to his longer finger bones. Every few minutes he found himself flexing his shoulder blades, trying to feel the familiar movement of his wings.
“This body feels wrong,” he grumbled, mostly to himself.
“Well, considering how long it’s been since you were a Gryphon, it does make sense,” Conor said pointedly. While his body had gained more definition from his time with the guard, and he had been able to lose a great deal of body fat, that was about the most impact his time in Equestria had had on his human form.
“Hang on, we’re going to brake soon,” Pensword’s voice rang through the car.
“I don't thin-” Taze was cut off as he was thrown off his feet as the train began to stop. “Ow.”
“Need a hand?” Conor offered as he crouched down to offer his arm.
“Thanks,” he said, taking the arm and getting to his feet. “I remember being a lot more sturdy on my feet before.”
“You should have listened. I am the train whisperer,” Pensword said smugly as he clopped to their sides, only to receive a familiar whack from Lunar Fang, and then Moon River, who, of course, was imitating her mommy. “I don’t care,” Pensword said with a beatific smile. “I got to tease them for once. Come along. I’d rather not have them wait too long.” They exited onto the familiar underground station. “Also, Conor, do not lose that medallion around your neck. It is your access badge for this area of the Castle.”
“Huh, never got to see this part of Canterlot in the show,” he commented casually.
“Good thing you are before we leave then,” Taze noted.
“Show?” Pensword asked in confusion. “What do you mean show?”
“Ask Matthew, Pensword.”
“But he is confused as well.”
“My little pony, my little pony, la la la la–” Taze sung a few bars.
It was a good thing no other ponies were around as Pensword actually tripped, fell flat on his muzzle, and blinked five times before quickly jumping to his hooves “Add that to the list, Lunar Fang. We are getting every episode we can to see just what Earth knows about us,” he said shakily.
“It’s not that bad, you know, Pensword. And based on what I’ve seen here in the real Equestria, you’ll only see a few similarities, namely in the more ridiculous happenings around Ponyville and Canterlot,” Conor assured him.
“Still, if there are some lies or misconceptions, I could keep going.” He smiled. Lunar Fang looked at her husband as one eye twitched. “Still, thank you for telling me about this.”
“What my husband is trying to say is, he wants to mislead any leaders on Earth as much as possible to give us time to give a proper response to what we find,” she said cooly. A small vein throbbed on the side of her head. “It will also give him time to inform me of something he should have a long time ago.”
“I’m … guessing we should give them some space,” Conor said.
“Come on, guys, we need to get this moving,” Taze said as he shouldered his pack and headed for the castle.
“Weren’t we supposed to wait for the guards?” Conor asked.
“What if there was an old mare crossing the street, and they’re busy for hours?” Taze said with a snicker.
“I’m sure we can get by without an armed escort,” Shawn commented as he stepped forward.
“Well, I guess that’s that, then. I’m guessing we don’t want to keep Discord waiting for too long anyways. Knowing him, he’s liable to cause a bit of chaos just to help pass the time,” Conor pointed out.
“Right, well, if you would follow me, we can go the direct route, which will be through some of the beautiful hallways, and Conor can see some of the treasures of the palace.” Pensword grinned.
“And how do you know the floor?” Lunar Fang asked.
“I never wanted to be like Matthew and get lost during my first visit to the castle.” Pensword shrugged. “Shall we continue?”
“Do lets,” Conor said with just a hint of a smile. “Let’s see what dirty little secrets are hidden down here.” Then he chuckled. “Just kidding.”
“Oh, there’s tons,” Taze said, “but we’re not headed to the dirty secrets wing.” His voice was completely serious, leaving Conor to wonder if he was joking or not.
“Well, uh … I guess we should get going then. Oh, and Taze, are you planning on wearing that armor to the other side?”
“What?” Taze asked. “Whats wrong with armor?”
Conor cocked a quizzical brow. “Seriously? You do remember you’re going back to Canada, right?” he asked pointedly in Draconic.
“I … guess.” He blinked in surprise as he spoke in English for the first time in human form. “Is that my voice?” The words were clumsy and laced with a thick Turkish accent.
“So it would seem, my friend,” Conor said in a cheap imitation of an Indian accent.
“Accent is to be expected,” Shawn replied. Once again, the familiar Russian accent Conor had heard when he’d first arrived in Equestria had returned. “It has been a long time since you have spoken English in both amount of time overall, and in your current form.”
“Anyway, I guess I’ll change into something more streetwise when we get to the castle,” Taze said.
“So you need me to step into one of the side rooms then?” Pensword asked in English as he turned from the two Pony carts he’d been helping unload for the trip to Earth. A set of Unicorn guards arrived and saluted before their horns glowed, and they lifted the carts with their combined magic to prevent any damages to the floors, walls, and wheels. He paused suddenly, and his ear twitched. “Don’t tell me that … I got the Queen’s English?” He groaned. “Bollocks.”
Lunar Fang looked around in confusion. She whispered into Pensword’s ear, and he smiled as he slipped a wing into her saddlebag and pulled out the medallion that he’d worn when he first came to Equestria so long ago. She looked shocked, but accepted it and put it around her neck.
“The roles have been reversed,” Pensword chuckled in English.
“It does seem that way,” Lunar Fang answered in, of all things, a southern belle accent.
“It shouldn’t stay that way for long,” Shawn replied with a shrug.
They soon entered the gardens and passed into one of the less used corridors, where a detachment of guards saluted as they passed through. None of them had been down here since the day they had first arrived so very long ago. Taze had changed into more “civil” clothing, even if he and Matthew would debate that particular choice of word. After shifting to Gryphon form and then changing and returning to human form, he was now wearing the black N7 hoodie that he’d worn to the town meeting. A black muscle shirt clung to his toned body beneath the sweatshirt, and a pair of black britches he hoped would pass for sweatpants completed the ensemble for now, at least until he could find something more fitting back on Earth.
The group soon made their way past Celestia's prized rose bush, which appeared to have made a full recovery from when one of the humans fell into it. Cadence was smiling as Lunar Fang slowly gave the heir to their family name to Cadence before showering the little foal with kisses. The Alicorn of love smiled and nodded her head. Pensword then helped Lunar Fang hitch up to the somewhat larger cart the guards had set down by the entrance to the Gardens. There was no sign of Discord yet, so they hoped they were early.
“Ah. So I see you finally made it,” a voice said lazily from behind them. Discord was hovering ten feet above the ground with a small round table covered by a red-and-white checkered tablecloth with two ornate silver chairs. He held a steaming coffee mug in one hand and a magazine titled Chaos Choice in the other.
“Ah, well, hello.” Pensword spoke as he grated out the old language. How strange it was to be speaking English fluently again after all this time. “That… is an interesting magazine.”
“Nah, it’s an old issue. The next one won’t be out till last Thursday,” Discord said. Yawning, he threw the magazine away and it burst into strawberry-scented smoke. “So everypony’s here and ready? I don’t know how long I can hold this, you know.”
“Out of curiosity, how long are you able to send us?” Shawn questioned.
“I thought I explained this. Three to four days at the most, then order sticks her nose in, and everything snaps back to normal.”
“You did not explain much. You somewhat appeared, and then left to ‘hang out’.”
“It’s an imprecise art,” Discord said, shifting so he was now dressed in a white smock with a beret on his head. He held a palette and brush in either hand as he put a few final strokes on an artistic rendering of his head a-la Mona Lisa.
“Does that mean I only get three or four days, too?” Conor asked.
Lunar Fang paused as he looked at Discord and then to Conor and back to Discord. “Why’s he still here then? If you said it was going to last for a few days? Four at most? He’s been here far longer than four days.”
“In your case, I don’t know, but I don’t think you’re quite so accustomed to Equestria yet that you’ll be anchored here. As for before, well as much as it shames me to admit it, I obeyed the law of equivalent exchange and sent someone back in his place.”
In her throne room Celestia was just about to tell another noble why he couldn’t plow the low income housing of Whinnysburg to build a massive summer house when a thunderous “WHAT?” echoed through halls in four separate tones.
Celestia smiled her sphynx smile and rose from her throne. “I believe I have some important visitors I must see to. We can continue this discussion next time.” She continued to smile as she waited for the polite bow, the only action the noble could do, before she teleported into the gardens. “What did Discord do to draw such vocals from the four of you?” She twitched one ear. “I dare say you managed to wake my sister from her slumber as well. That is not an easy task.”
“Apparently, Discord had to send a Pony to Earth to get me to come here,” Conor said. The others all shrieked over it.
“Oh, he did, did he?” Celestia smiled at him, and her voice was incredibly sweet. “And why would you go and do something like that to one of my little Ponies, Discord?”
“It was centuries ago, Celestia. Back before I’d reformed,” he said with equal sweetness as he summoned a halo over his head.
It was actually Moon River who shot his halo off this time, with her crossbow and suction cup darts. Pensword looked livid. “Who did you send? From what Shawn said… it was during your chaos reign.” He closed his eyes. “That means I will have to charge my family with finding this lost soul. Nopony deserves the insanity of Earth.”
“Hey!” Conor said defensively. “It’s not all that bad.”
“Aside from the genetically modified and/or mutated processed food that is more chemical than solid,” Taze noted, rolling his eyes.
“Now that’s just biased. Genetic modification is a tool to make better quality food. It’s the processing in the plants on their way to the market where they get like what you said.”
“I would like to mention that the nutrient levels of the food is also dropping. An orange today does not have the same amount of vitamin c as an orange from the twenties,” Pensword pointed out. Lunar fang and Conor both shot him a look. “What? My mom does that kind of research.”
“Where’d that information come from?” Conor asked curiously.
“Scientific…. Look, ask me after I talk to Matthew’s mom. He doesn’t remember the names of the institutes or scientists…. Pauling? Something Pauling Institute?” He sighed and shook his head. “Look, Matthew’s mind is in this head, but I can’t exactly understand all of it, so this is basically a Pony’s perspective who has never heard of anything to do with your world’s mechanics before.”
Conor shrugged. “Fair enough. I was just saying that it’s not quite so insane is all. There are good people, and there are bad people. It’s essentially the same as Equestria, only we don’t have all the magic, so we’ve had to make do with technology instead.”
“From the point we’re currently sitting on, I’d believe it was a mad world off of basic lawsuits I can still remember. I mean, who wins a lawsuit for breaking their leg on someone else’s property after breaking into said someone’s house and trying to steal said property they broke their leg over?”
“That’s not insanity, that’s just sheer stupidity.” Conor shook his head disappointedly.
“And the judge who decided in his favor?” Taze asked, smirking.
“I repeat, sheer stupidity. I understand upholding the letter of the law, but that guy broke into the house. He had no right to ply that lawsuit, and if that judge had any sense, he would have dismissed it immediately and ruled in favor of the family, plus given them the chance to file countercharges.”
“Let us remind you that this is a Pony from the Third Gryphon War looking at Earth. You grew up there, and you are there, and Matthew keeps showing me the things he deems awesome from Earth, but think about it from an Equestrian viewpoint. This is a world that is not governed by Pegasi, nor the sun and moon controlled by a princess. A Pony could easily be driven out of his mind for the first few weeks if he or she can’t adapt.”
“Not to mention where the ability to make cities vanish in a flash of light is given to people who I seriously doubt could do basic math,” Taze pointed out.
“I still don’t think it’s insane,” Conor insisted obstinately.
“As fun as this debate is,” Discord said, “time is chaos, my friends. Now is everypony ready?”
“But this was getting fun,” Luna protested as she exited from the shadows. “I was learning so much about Earth…” Her expression was such that they couldn’t tell if she was excited or disturbed by all the facts that had just been so casually mentioned.”
“That said,” Pensword spoke with a smile, “I am looking forward to visiting Earth.”
“I believe it’s time,” Celestia agreed. “We look forward to hearing your world’s response. I assume Luna has already given you our missive?”
“Wait, I thought she only was giving Lunar Fang and I documents that I hope not to use, protection of my family from either UFO nuts, government spies, or just random gangs.” He shook his head. “Well, I guess I will be reading to make sure I don’t give the wrong documents.”
“Very good. Very good,” Discord said, turning to Taze. “Now if I’m going to set you all down in the vicinity of your homes, you’ll have to go first,” he said pointedly. “Are you ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” Taze said, taking a deep breath.
“Okay. Here we go.” Discord snapped his fingers and produced a tuning fork. He gave it a flick and it started to produce a strange thundering note which grew in intensity until even Celestia and Luna covered their ears. Finally, in the spot where Discord’s statue had been, a crack seemed to appear out of nowhere and spider down before, with the sound of shattering glass, pieces of the universe seemed to fall away, revealing a hole floating in midair.
On the other side, Taze could just make out a city covered in trees painted in deep reds and sunny yellows as the leaves prepared for autumn. He said nothing until he spotted a large spiraling river through the city’s heart. “That's the Red. That’s close enough for me to get home.” He spotted a familiar park near the city’s center. “Drop me there at the Assiniboine Park. I can walk from there.”
Discord actually seemed strained, though his actions weren’t visible as the area steered where it was bidden. After a few moments, he huffed. “That's as close as I can get you.”
Taze nodded and waved goodbye to Celestia and Luna. He raised his index and middle finger to his forehead and flicked them out in Shawn, Pensword, and Conor’s direction. “See ya on the other side,” he said before taking the plunge.
After a minute they heard a thump across the gap, and Discord turned. “Okay, who’s next? I can’t keep this up all day, you know.”
“That one would be Conor,” Shawn said pointedly.
“Okay, step up and try to think of something from your home,” Discord said as the human approached.
The portal instantly shifted to reveal an old broken down wooden porch with blue stone stairs and black metal railings. The paint was flaking off in shavings, exposing the dried wood underneath from its many years of abuse in the weather. A miniature garden of sorts had been set up on either side of the steps with the scraggly remains of dead blossoms. A bright red wooden door stood behind a glass storm door, and two ornate metal porch lights had been mounted on either side of the entrance.
“... It’s … home,” Conor said. He held out a hand towards the portal, then paused. “This … this is really goodbye, isn’t it?”
“Never a goodbye, just see you later… which I will do, remember.” Pensword tapped the side of his head near his eyes. “Because, in the long term, we will meet again, most assuredly in the glade.”
“Parting is such sweet sorrow,” Discord said almost sarcastically.
Conor embraced Shawn, then Pensword. “In case we don’t get to see each other again for a while.” Then he bowed to the princesses. “Your Majesties, it’s been an honor and a privilege. Thank you.” Lastly, he turned to Discord and gave him a hug.
Discord didn’t really respond, just stared down at him in shock.
“Thanks for helping me find out what happened to my friends, Discord. I wish I could give you something more, but this is the best I can do.”
“It was … nothing?” Discord clearly was out of his element here.
“Maybe the next time you pull me through you can send me an invite first?” he asked with a sad smile and a brief chuckle.
“I’ll think about it,” Discord responded nonchalantly. He then proceeded to make a shooing motion with his taloned hand as he turned his head away indignantly. “You’d better hurry. I’m not sure how long I can keep this up, you know.”
“Thank you, Discord.” He turned one last time, readjusted the satchel and the shoulder strap on his violin case, waved, then passed through. The sound of a heavy weight knocking down onto wooden floorboards notified them that he’d arrived safely on the other side.
Pensword looked to Shawn. “You can go next.”
Shawn shrugged as he stepped forward. “See you all in a few days.”
“See you, and see if you can stay out of…. Major world-ending mischief.”
“Not likely to happen. If I try to avoid it, something will drag me into it…” Shawn sighed.
The rift that Discord opened for him revealed a hot, dry desert. A few buildings could be seen in the distance with some roads leading out into the cracked dirt and sand.
“Welp, that’s pretty much right…” Shawn replied after a moment.
“Celestia, so many things are starting to make sense,” Luna whispered.
Celestia gaped, then nodded. “So it would seem,” she agreed.
Shawn shrugged once again as he made his way through the rift.
“And then there were two,” Pensword whispered as Discord worked to open the rift towards his own place. He tried to think of home, but no matter what he did or how he tried to change the direction of his thoughts, he inevitably found himself thinking of another place, where family memories were made and adventures were had, and still could be had.
The portal shifted to reveal a steep ravine covered in rocks with a river flowing peacefully through its bottom. A rocky path bordered the shores for travelers to follow on their way into the unknown. A large pine tree forest sprouted up on the edges of the ravine. Soaring over the gap, a great metal structure loomed with its evenly set metal rail ties.
Pensword was shocked at the sight, even moreso when a grin spread involuntarily over his face. “He knows where that is, and he knows how that path will take him to his grandparents’ home. Also ... a train trestle.” He paused in deep thought. “We really do like trains, don’t we?”
“Yes, fascinating. Now can you please get on with it? This is getting rather hard to keep stable, you know,” Discord grunted. Beads of sweat had begun to form along his brow. “You may want to hurry.”
Pensword nodded and he looked to Lunar Fang, who quickly jumped through the portal. Pensword followed seconds later, even as the edges began to flicker and shrink. As he vanished into it, the entire thing turned black before melting into a sludge-like substance and falling to the ground.
Discord promptly collapsed.