"What the hell is that?"
The door on the capsule bursts open, going flying. A dark figure exits, followed by many, many more. One large horse and about twenty small ponies line up on the roof.
"Nightmare Moon! Finally," Sunset calls, standing.
"Finally we can rule over these tiny little equines. Quickly, squash this bug and we can get on with the magic-draining."
NNM, who looks an awful lot like Luna on a bad day, begins laughing. Why are villains so giggly?
"I see two bugs for squashing," she replies.
Sunset gasps.
"W-what do you mean?" Sunset questions, stammering.
"Our agreement has come to an end. You've been duped, Shimmer."
Oh. Shit. She just got simmered. Before Sunset can move, NMM's horn glows a bright blue, and a line of magic connects with Sunset. Looks like her magic is being absorbed!
"Anon you better get outta here," Painbow advises.
"No, I need to know if she's really the one who brought me here. Besides, she's clearly a villain and I'm clearly a hero."
You glance down at your gothic garb, cringing a little bit. A few feet away from you Sunset collapses, looking drained. Nightmare flicks her attention to you.
"YOU!"
"ME?" you ask mockingly.
"Come pet, your future is at hand."
"What?"
"Come here boy, come on, I don't bite."
She magics up a pair of illusory keys and jingles them.
"YOU JUST GOING TO LET HER TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT, ANON?" your suit yells.
"Well, yeah I am. I mean for now, at least."
"WEAK."
"Well, come, serve your master," Luna interrupts.
"What are you on about?"
You'd raise your sword, but it's gone, and raising your fists just isn't the same. NMM rolls her eyes and waves her hoof at you. Her "guards" squint at you, making way for her to reach the edge of the roof. Some of the less bright students cheer. The smarter ones are already making for the gates, but NMM reacts quickly, setting up some sort of magic barrier. She begins cackling, her horn once again glowing. This time a small orb is shot out, slowly moving into position above the crowd below. As if sparked by the orb, the crowds horns begin glowing, their magic draining. A few do slip away into the school, for whatever good that would do. Hopefully Twilight made it.
"DO YOU LIKE IT HUMAN? WATCH THE ORB GROW IN SIZE IN TANDEM WITH MY POWERS."
Oh, it's like a joke, because tandem also means two or more horses harnessed behind each other. NMM's a funny gal.
"Meh."
"Bah," she likewise scoffs, turning up her nose and crossing her forelegs at you.
"ANONYMOUS I HAVE DETERMINED THAT WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO STOP HER ONCE SHE POWERS UP, IF YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE ACTION NOW WOULD BE THE TIME," Rainbow booms.
True, true. You make a move forward, stepping over a crack. (Your mom can be a little difficult, but you don't want to risk having her back broken [again]) Before you can take a second step all the guards are around you, their snake-eyes peering into you. Kinda edgy looking, and what's with those ears and...fangs?
But these batponies are papercuts compared to you, your eyeliner and jeans are enough to out edge them.
"DO NOT FEAR THESE PEONS, ANON, YOU SURPASS EVEN BISMUTH IN EDGE," Bow assures you, sounding confident.
Fighting stance: assumed.
[Theme of Night Guard collective]
Shokygeki no Soma OST - Food Battle Start!
A pair hops at you, one wielding a staff. Using INHUMAN bait you lure the one with the staff into striking. Sweet, he fell for it! Dodging, you punch the second into the first, picking up the staff.
SShowtime!
As the first two tumble away a third comes up, you brain him and knock him aside.
Two more! Deflecting their flailing strikes weakens your staff and after several blows it snaps. You follow up with your own retort, using your momentum to close-line the pair. A ring is now formed around you, asinine batponies growling at you. What idiot created these abominations? Probably some weeb.
SSStylish!
Thinking about Chinese girl cartoons gets you a swift smack in the face, and a kick in the shin, and one in the stomach. Stumbling back leads you right to the edge of the building.
"HA, IDIOTS, THEY NEARLY PUSHED US OFF THE ROOF," RD comments, nervousness in her hoarse voice.
NMM turns her head to you, just as you're gonna dive away from the edge. Now you're (sky)diving. Fuck it, right? Gotta try new things sometimes. Your entire trip down to the ground is accompanied by Rainbow screaming at the top of her lungs. Do clothes have lungs? Before you can think of an answer you break your back on a comfy bush.
"Time. . .to die," Rain mumbles, voice very faint.
You think you're going faint too. Seems to be in-style around here.
"Anon! Anon!" a voice whispers.
"Meh," you groan, head weary.
"Anon, get up, Nightmare Moon is going to suck you dry."
That doesn't sound so bad. You blink your eyes open to Twilight look down at you nervously. To the left you see a bunch of tired (or disgruntled) students lay in a pile.
"How long have I been out?"
"Not long," she replies, helping you inside the school, you hold your head like a smashed pumpkin, because it feels like one. Looks like your suit is back to its original form.
"Anon you've gotta stop her before she powers up!"
"Don't worry, it'll probably take like 13 episodes. And she'll probably miss too."
"W-what?"
"Don't worry, just. Gah," you grasp for your side, pain crippling you. Goddamn, that fall really did a number on you.
"I'm not going to be able to get close to her. Especially with all those night guards around her."
Twilight spins around, squinting at you.
"You know what we must do."
"I dunno," you rub your neck and look away.
"It's gotta happen," she puts her hoof on your leg.
She points to the lockers at the end of the hall.
"In there?"
She nods, trotting forward slowly. It's the only option right now, your dick says. True, this secret final form is the only thing that will have any chance against NMM. You squeeze into the locker, pressing against Twilight. There is hardly enough space for the both of you.
"W-well, this is nice." She taps her hoof against your chest. "So..."
"I don't think this'll work. I mean, there is no thrusting room."
"W-what?"
"I-I— it's gotta go in somehow."
"Right, that's how it works," she huffs her hot breath onto your sweaty chest.
"You still don't have a solid grip on this whole thing do you?"
"I-I've got a solid grip on you, big boy."
[Blushing externally.] That's fine, not like she can see. Too dark to see anything in here.
"So, come on, get this show on the road," she demands.
"Doesn't work like that. I can't just make it happen!" you say, stress laden in your tone.
Twilight wiggles around, which in these close quarters is pretty tough to pull off.
"Well, somethings happening."
The locker rumbles and shakes, slamming against its neighbors and the walls sporadically. To an outsider observer it would seem as if a very nervous ghost has invaded the metal locker. This particular ghost seems to really like it when you "DO IT JUST LIKE THAT" and "RUB THOSE THINGS THERE LIKE THAT" Who knows what this ghostly code means?
The locker bursts open, a panting, sweaty Twilight tumbling out. You clamber over her, looking dapper. Looking down you see a plain suit, like normal. But there was like a transformation and everything...
"It didn't work!"
"Says you!" Pinkie's cheerful voice yells.
"RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE," Rainbow adds on.
"Hello Darling."
"Howdy."
"Jesus, all four of them at once?" you ask. Isn't someone missing?
Twilight just rolls over and falls asleep. Well, gotta go fuck up Luna now. You take a step forward and feel something slap your thigh. Looking down you flip over your suit jacket, revealing pink suspenders of course and a strange blade at your hip. Your sword! The handle looks wooden, like that of the duster. Drawing it, the blade is revealed to be made of candy cane! But that means there should be... On your other hip a lasso is tied. And there is a small hook at the end. And a little loop on the hilt of the blade. Aha! Now you've got some tech.
You charge for the stairs, going up and up, the closer you get the louder the rumbling gets. When you're about to open the door to the roof and unleash a storm of zandatsu it bursts open and an orange ball is thrown straight at you. The pony knocks you down a flight, rolling down the hard stairs with you. You regain your standing position and dust yourself off, bits of plaster and stone flying off like dandruff.
"Sunset, what the hell are you doing?" You question, looking down on her. She stands up, holding her head.
"That damn pony stole my magic! I've been trying to get close to her since you dropped off the side of the building."
"You know," she squints at you, "we'd have a better chance fighting together, Human."
"Oh so now you want to be friends?"
She rolls her eyes and pushes past you up the stairs. You run after her, wishing to join the fray. At the other end of the roof you immediately see NMM, mane flowing, eyes glowing, orb of POWER growing larger with each passing second. In front of you, Sunset is giving a handful of guards the what for. Around the roof, knocked out night-guards lay. Sunset has done well for herself, incapacitating several more guards than you have.
"What are ya standing around for?" AJ questions.
"GO GET THOSE FOOLS!" RD adds.
[Theme of Anon and Sunset]
The World Ends With You OST - Twister
Anonymous has entered a martial trance.
You draw your blade and zip forward, knocking aside the bat descending on Sunset. She spins around and bucks a guard in the jaw, sending him flying. The last five of NMM's escort trot forward together. Then in a flash all of them upon you. Sunset meets one of them in the air, and takes it to the ground, another following after her. The remaining three set their sights on you.
"Meh!"
With one slash you knock aside two, the thin candy cane blade holding strong against their meaty pony bodies. For the third you have something special. He hops to the air, batwings fluttering, hoping to garner the air advantage. BUT, he wasn't counting on your lasso. Deftly you latch the lasso's hook to the hilt of your blade and with one swing it's sent zooming toward the guard. The dull blade hits him right in the gut, batting him out of the sky and down to the roof! To your left you catch Sunset giving a left hoof hook to a very woozy guard, who falls to the floor with the hit. She looks at you briefly and nods. Time to get some answers! Oh, and save those unicorns or whatever.
"Be careful Nonny! She looks tough," Pinkie Pants mumbles.
"She just looks big! We'll show her!" you say confidently.
"Don't be so sure, Anonymous," Sunset says harshly as the two of you approach, side by side. Seriously fuck Sunset Shimmer, but hot damn does Co-op feel fun sometimes. Nightmare Loon hardly notices the two of you in her trance.
The sky is streaked with shooting stars, completely cloudless, below you the screams of pegasi, unicorns, and erf ponies serve as a chorus.
"How should we approach this?"
"Just follow my example," Sunset growls.
The unicorn dances forward and hops up, ready to plant a hoof on Nightmare's face. You follow after her, hooking your sword and lasso. In a flash of light both of you are tossed away like used tissue.
"You're too late, plebeians, I've achieved MAX power," an earth shaking cackle shudders from deep within Nightmare Moon.
You struggle to get to your feet, helpless as Nightmare absorbs the ball of energy, not crackling with the magic of a dozen colors and horse-types. Her body, mane, eyes and horn glow with new vigor, undulating energy surrounding her. As you get to your feet again, weapon raised, she's crafting a portal of sorts. Could it be? Can she open portals to your home?
You're frozen as she opens the rift wider, wider, desperate to see past her body you gingerly press on toward her. The rift shows nothing aside from a gray rocky expanse and a dark sky. T-the moon? A portal to the moon? Nightmare throws open the rift, and a monster of gnarled metal stomps out. Four crane like legs and a empty middle frame nearly make the roof buckle. You hear the groan of the supports for the roof.
The monster takes up most of the roof, a leg nearly crushing you like a pancake. Moona forces the empty frame down on the pod she arrived in. She climbs inside the little egg, connecting the two. The four legs raise up the egg, and from the little porthole you see Nightmare Moon's laughing face. A megaphone projects Luna's voice.
"Prepare yourself, peon, for the full power of the Shago- I MEAN LUNAKHOD."
[Theme of The Nightmare Moon Machine!]
FF15 OST - Veiled in Black
"You get it from one side, I'll get the other." Sunset calls to you, bunny-hopping for Luna.
"You ready to go, guys?"
"YEAH!" your creepy, fabric-spirits reply in unison.
Jolting upward you manage to get right on one of the legs, latching on like a monkey to a tree. Luna grunts, shaking around her giant metal leg, desperate to get you off. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Sunset being violently thrown back down to the roof from the other leg. You struggle to cling to the metal appendage, Nightmare's shaking isn't quite enough to knock you off, but when a small turret pops up on her pod you gulp. A torrent of tiny moon rock pebbles pelts you, battering you.
"HOLD ON NONNY!" Pinkie yells.
Despite your best efforts the little pains all across your arms, head, hands and back are just too much. You go the way of Sunset, colliding hard with the stone roof.
"HAHAHHAHA! WEAK," Nightmare yelps.
"A-anon," Sunset coughs from a hole in the roof near you.
You glance over at her, body frozen.
"She's slapped me to the ground with her member, I'm far too used up to go on. Y-you must continue the fight alone."
Goddamn useless bitch. You use your sword to stand, the candy center supporting your weight.
"Rising up again? Much like the phoenix," your new enemy says.
Sunset crawls off to the door, dragging her body across the cracked floor. The ground below you rumbles as Luna re-positions herself. Two more turrets are revealed.
"Brace yourself, Anonymous!" Rainbow warns.
"Those guns are nothing to mess about with darling~"
"You should be able to get up 'nd close with that there lasso," AJ adds.
You didn't even have to tune into the codec for that free advice. The first rain of rocks come down, you slash them all away with one swing, like in one of those Taiwanese animations. Rolling around (at the speed of sound) is the only way to evade Nightmare's barrage of cheese-stones. Jumping up you latch on to the left leg, hoping to get to her cockpit. If you know what you're saying.
The easiest way to take down will be the cockpit, it's a weak-point. The right leg comes swinging over, the whole mech shaking now that's it on two legs. IT COLLIDES AGAINST YOU WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND MOONS. You're peeled off and tossed to the ground, back and ribs probably something like powder now.
The right settles back down, the left coming down to finish you off. In a last second attempt to not be made into jam you block with your sword, shutting your eyes tight. THE FOOT SLAMS DOWN ON YOU. You're shoved several inches down, the sword the only thing keeping you alive. Luna cackles madly, pushing down harder. The candy blade begins to crack! Pinkie, AJ, Rare-Ware and RD are all grunting in combined effort.
"M-MEH!"
"ANON! NO!" a sweet, caring voice calls.
You head flicks to the side, sweat and hair and everything else obscuring you vision. Past the hair, past the bits of rubble, past the bumpy floor you see a dazed Twilight, leaning on the door frame.
"You can't give up now!"
Her horn fizzles, face twisted in straining. A small purple rift is opened. For a second the burning pain in your arms, and everywhere else is mitigated. All you can focus on is the Asian fisherman peering through the portal.
(Asiatic Clam Harvesting Man Speech)
Way Status: Not lost.
The rift snaps shut and Twilight collapses into a sweaty pile of purple mare. New energy courses through you.
"ARGGGGGGAH!" Luna roars with effort, her metal leg now straining to stay on you. The shoe is one the other metal claw now!
Your muscles shiver with power, vibrating at intense speeds. Your pony-fabric monsters cheer you on. With one strong push the giant metal weapon up, throwing it aside with ease. Hopping to your feet, you flex once to show off those biceps, feeling far more powerful than ever before. The camera zooms in on Luna in her little porthole. Her mouth is agape and a single bead of sweat descends from her forehead.
"Meh!" you exclaim proudly.
"I told you drinking blood was healthy!" RD comments.
"I think it was all the sugar," Pinkie explains.
"Please, a fabulous suit will make any man extra virile," Rarity claims.
"APPLES!" APPLES! adds.
You glance at Twilight, raising up your sword and pointing it to her.
"Twilight! Turn off my pain inhibitors!"
"S-sure thing," she says weakly, hardly audible.
Nightmare is quick to bring the pushed back leg down, this time in a sweeping motion. You react with inhuman speed, swinging your sword to meet the attack. The two collide, immovable object meeting unstoppable force! The leg begins to crack with the strain, blowing back again. It hangs on to the side of the building weakly. Spinning around you jump up just a second before the right leg comes round. Landing perfectly on the side of it, your feet are like magnets as it swings around wildly. You draw your sword, slashing apart the arm in a flurry of sparks and metal, charging past the broken pieces as you get closer and closer. You're cutting through her like hot butter through knife! Insignificant bits of moon-sand wash over you like a light breeze.
"YES! YES! Split it wide open!" you hear Twilight call over the chaos, and Luna's cries of "No!"
The metal beast collapses forward, caving-in a huge part of the roof, Luna in her cockpit slamming into the edge of the sagging roof. She scrambles about inside it, panicking. You jump down to meet her, lasso'ing your sword and throwing it right at her pod. Tugging toward you makes the whole thing launch forward.
"GET OVER HERE!" you growl.
She tumbles out of the pod, rolling to her hooves in front of you, the pod clanking away behind you. Before she can catch her breath you assault her with a flurry of strikes! Every one of your strikes is deflect with some sort of magic barrier. But they don't block your body, and you're damn near face to face with the alicorn. She's looking a little sweaty!
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HEALTHY A CUP OF ALICORN BLOOD IS ANONYMOUS?" RD yells.
"Blood leaves terrible stains darling, don't get messy with that stuff," Rarity replies in an uptight tone.
"Omae wa mou shindeiru," you scoff, flicking your nose with your thumb to wipe off some blood.
She screeches like a record, mane deflating, powered up horn losing its glow and shrinking, whole body shuddering with sore muscles. A burst of light blinds you, and when you get your sight back, no more NMM! A regular ol' Luna is all that remains, no fangs or grimace, but still weak as hell.
Wiping the sweat from your own brow you level your sword with her face, the candy cane's red stripes worn and blurred, cracks along the blade.
"So..." you huff, "How do I get home? Why am I here? What the hell were you even trying to do here...?"
"Well uh, that's a long story," she rubs the back of her neck, probably aching all over.
In short, you were suppose to be an all-powerful pet for NMM to take over Equestria with, but she fumbled the binding spell and had to cover her tracks with her sister. That explains your first month in Equestria, all those royal, private, meetings. Apparently she picked you up at random from a rift. As for Sunset and her Ponyville school, that was all a ruse to gather strong unicorns together so Luna could steal their magic. After that she intended to go stopping over to Canterlot to throw a hissy-fit with all her magic. What a fucking brat.
"Uh, lastly, I don't think I'll be able to send you home, human. Those portal I've opened are all one-way. And, you did drain all my magic," she says moodily.
You ball up your fists and let out a deep breath. Sunset comes up behind you, horn glowing with magic. She dusts herself off with a magic feather duster.
"Get what you needed?" she asks, looking down at her former ally.
"No."
"That's a shame," she looks down at Luna a huffs, motioning as if to spit at her (which makes the alicorn recoil), but doesn't do it. "I hope we meet again Anonymous, a rematch is certainly in order." She disappears in a puff of magic, but not before you can give her a half-assed 'meh'.
You're tired and frustrated and lost but there isn't much to be done about it. Sunset is right, after defeating that metal moon rover-mech you're pretty worn out. Twilight following you home doesn't help much.
You don't reply to her hundreds of questions. Or object when she sits next to you around that stone arch. Disappointment wells in you like...something deep.
Like a well...
AH HAH!
"Twilight! Can't you send me home!? You opened up a portal for that chinese man! Can't you get me back?"
"One-way, Anon. Really, I don't think anyone is powerful enough to make a two-way portal..."
Your Anon-sense tingles...a lie has been told.
"Sorry," she says lowly.
Who's more powerful than Luna and Twilight and. . .?
Seems like you have one more Alicorn to beat-up.
THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE OF HORSE THE HORSE