Cartoon Feud

by Short Stories


S1, E1: Pilot P.1 [Starting Out]

"Okay, girls," Twilight said with a flick of her tail. Confidence etched all over her face, she took a hoof step forwards. "Are we ready?"

"N-no..." Fluttershy squeaked.

Twilight's mouth quirked into a frown as she took a step back, firing up her horn. "That spell I gave you isn't working?"

"No. Oh, I-I mean... yes. I mean.. uh... kind of." The shy pegasus finally decided, sitting down on the cool asphalt. "It's starting too, but- but what if it wears off in the middle of the show? And everypony's relying on me for the final answer? You saw the letter. No magic. What if I'm not able to-- to--" she started to hyperventilate, panic tears forming in her eyes. Twilight's frown deepened and she approached Fluttershy gently.

"Fluttershy, I'm so sorry... I was so excited to get us all here, I wasn't even thinking straight!"

Fluttershy wiped the small tears away, trying to compose herself. "Oh, I'm sure you were," she said between sniffles, "you were just excited, is all."

Twilight shook her head, shaking away Fluttershy's words. "No, it's not ok." She sighed, trying to think of a rational solution for this temporary predicament. "Oh, I know! Spike said he'd like to be on this show, but there weren't enough tickets." She sat down next to the pale yellow one, placing a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "Would it be okay if Spi--"

"Yes!" Fluttershy burst. She immediately covered her mouth with both hooves, embarrassed at her sudden outburst. "I mean-- uh... that would be great." A slight pause filled the air before Flutters continued. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I know you wanted all of us to go up, but I just don't think I'd be able to do it."

Twilight stood up, offering a hoof for her friend. "No need to apologize," she smiled, "I understand."

Fifteen minutes and an out-of-breath baby dragon later, they were all ready to go inside."I just wish they'd give us some stuff to study," Twilight sighed for the umpteenth time that hour, "it really would have--"

"--helped our chances in advancing up the game's ladder." Rainbow finished for her, shooting her a friendly roll of the eyes. "Geez, Twi. You've said that so many times, it's been embedded into my brain." She pointed at the side of her head for emphasis. The other four stifled a giggle while a light blush crept across the alicorn's cheeks.

"I know, I know... I guess I'm just more nervous than I thought I was gonna be."

"Never woulda guessed." Pinkie retorted playfully.

A young mare with a mid-length mane, milky white fur and wings, and gray eyes trotted by just then. "Five minutes 'till showtime", she called out, "places, everybody~!"

The five and Spike rushed over and took their places behind the long desk, Fluttershy slinking away to be mixed in with the crowd. Across from them, they noticed a teenage girl with brown hair sit on the opposing desk, accompanied by a curly, orange-haired girl, two black haired girls, a white haired girl, and an older man wearing a pilot cap.They all laughed at something the brown haired one said, minus the white and one of the black's. At the call, they took their seats (minus the two from before) and waited for the show to start.

Interesting. Twilight thought, very interesting.

Five minutes later, a young black and white boy ran out to center stage in time with the show's theme. "Welcome, one and all!" His little voice boomed thanks to all the extra microphones lying around his mouth, "To the first ever episode of Cartoon Feud!!" Uproarious applause and cheers came from the audience. Twilight was pretty sure they had a giant, neon "applaud" sign out of sight of the cameras that lit up whenever the host was done talking. "I'm Billy, your host for tonight, and all other nights after," he smiled and polite laughter came from the audience. "we have a promising competition her, looks like," he added, glancing between the two long desks to each "show", "let's go an meet our contestants, shall we?"

He walked over towards the humans side first. Above them, a neon sign spelt out "LPS", one that hadn't been turned on until now. Twilight resisted the urge to turn and look at what their sign said and instead focused on what the humans would say. "And, what's your name, little lady?" Billy asked the brown headed one first.

"Oh! Uh... hi. I'm Blythe Baxter.... uh... I live in New York, on top of the Littlest Pet Shop and, uhm..."

"She can speak to pets!" The orange haired girl next to her chimed in.

Blythe blushed, seeming a little annoyed at the girl's claim. "No, she's just--" she seemed to remember she wasn't on her show anymore and her blush deepened. "Uh, yeah. I can... do that."

"Very cool," Billy beamed. He moved down the line, letting each one introduce themselves. Sue Patterson [orange hair] was a slightly competitive and all around athletic type; even being on her school's cross country team. Young Mei [first black haired girl] was apparently part Korean and helps her aunt out in the town's local bakery shop that's next to 'LPS'. The twins named Whitney and Britney Biskit were next; one having black hair [Whitney] and the other white, . They claimed they were only on the show to get out of going to a summer school. Twilight scrunched her nose at this. Who didn't like summer school? Finally, he came to the older man, who was Blythe's dad and was the one who flew them [and others] over here, as he was a 'world renowned pilot'. Twilight saw Blythe roll her eyes at this, but not in a rude way.

Billy then moved onto the ponies side, coming to Twilight first. He looked at her horn and wings, at her friends, then back at her. "What are you...?" He asked rather bluntly. The audience laughed, but Twilight didn't find it amusing.

"I'm an alicorn," she declared happily.

"And... what's that?"

Twilight blushed, still not used to her new title. "Uh, well..."

"She's a princess in our... erm... 'world', Billy, dear." Rarity answered for her, "though she doesn't rather like to be called that."

Billy nodded, as if it all made perfect sense. "Okay. Uh, well, what should we call you?" He asked Twilight.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, but you can just call me Twilight. I like reading, studying, and learning and teaching about the values of friendship." She smiled down the line and the others smiled warmly back.

"Uhm, barf!" Twilight tensed, her attention going straight to the only white haired girl.

"Yeah, seriously, don't make us sick." Whitney added. They sniggered at their own 'joke' of sorts, but no one laughed with them. Twilight mentally cursed at them, politely letting Billy know she was done. As soon as he was done, he turned to the audience. "Now that the introductions have been made, let's start this show with the first question!"