For the sake of all that is harmonious in this land, I wish this blasted pink creaton would get off my back. A heavy sigh escaped from the lips of Blueblood as he continued to trot toward Ponyville with Pinkie Pie riding on top of him. He glanced up at her with a scowl on his muzzle “WILL YOU GET OFF ME YOU BLASTED MA… OW!” His yelling came to a halt after being hit over the head with something hard.
“Such language toward one of my friends is unacceptable!” In a flash Discord stood before the former prince holding a yard ruler and sporting a pair of eyeglasses “I will not tolerate in misbehavior from you mister while you are under the careful watch of the Elements of Harmony.” He clicked his teeth together in disappointment.
“Hi Discord!” Pinkie yelped in joy as she leaped off Blueblood straight toward the draconequus tackling him to the ground in a hug.
Discord chuckled as he reached up to ruffle at her puffy, pink mane “Good morning my dear Pinkie, how is my favorite party planner?” He grabbed her carefully by the sides and lifted her up in the air.
She giggled happily “I am doing fantabulous!” She hopped off the draconequus and started to hop in place, to the dismay of Blueblood.
Oi vey! If the pink imbecile isn’t enough, I have to put up with the biggest neanderthal of all Equestria! Blueblood simply rolled his eyes, allowing a heavy sigh to escape his lips as he looked at the two “Would you two come on? I want to get this week with the pink menace over with as soon as possible.” He let out a huff as he trotted forward.
Discord looked at stallion with disappointment before turning back to his bouncing friend. He whispered to her “Geez , what is his problem? Did a breezy fly up his flank?” He snickered as his comment earned a giggle from Pinkie. Together the two trailed behind Blueblood toward Sugarcube Corner.
Sugarcube Corner
Mr. Cake was in the kitchen adding the finishing touches to a three tier strawberry cake for a young filly’s birthday. Each tier was topped with vanilla frosting, whipped cream, and fresh strawberries. He stepped back with a smile of pride I gotta say, this is the most impressive cake I’ve made in a long time.
He looked around as there were also a mix of chocolate and vanilla cupcakes he baked. He reached up to wipe sweat from his brow I hope little Fresh Mint will like it. He then turned to trot to the kitchen door to peek in the parlor “Honey, I am done with the cake and cupcakes. How is everything going with the little ones?”
“Everything is going good dear, they are really enjoying their scrambled eggs.” Mrs. Cake responded as she was feeding Pumpkin and Pound Cake their breakfast. She smiled at the two babies as she wiped their mouths with a napkin “Aren’t you my precious ones?” She leaned her head close to them and nuzzled their cheeks.
She lifted her head to look at the clock “Dear, shouldn’t Pinkie be back by now? I’m getting worried.” She bit her lower lip as she collected the dirty plates to take into the kitchen. As she trotted in, she saw Carrot Cake putting up his apron “I hope she is okay Carrot.” She placed the dirty plates in the sink and started to fill it up with water to wash them.
“I’m sure she’s fine honey. You know how Pinkie can be, she can be quite the curious, adventurous mare.” He chuckled as he trotted over to the sink to give his wife a kiss on the cheek “Also, you know she won’t ever miss the chance to host a party, especially a birthday party.” He gave her an encouraging smile.
Soon the bell above the bake shop’s door rang “Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I’m back!” A sigh of relief escaped the lips of both Cakes as they washed their hooves and trotted back into the parlor. Pinkie hopped in “And I brought a special guest! Oh, Bluey, come meet Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” An ear to ear smile adorned her muzzle as she looked at the two bakery owners.
“For the last time, my name is not Bluey!” Blueblood trotted into the bakery as he was greeted with shock expressed on the faces of The Cakes. He looked confused “What? Do I have something in my beautiful mane?” He glanced up to that his mane was still the same.
Mr. and Mrs. Cake bowed their heads “Oh Prince Blueblood, please forgive us.” Mrs. Cake spoke as she bit her lower lip nervously “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, I am Cup Cake.” She lifted her head back up with a warm smile.
“And my name is Carrot Cake. Together my wife and I own this fine baking establishment, Sugarcube Corner.” He raised his head with a proud smile on his muzzle.
“Well, at least there are still some peasants that have respect for a prince.” He flicked his mane as a cocky smirk formed on his muzzle. He stood proud until he felt a smack on the back of his head “OW! Who did that?!” He reached up to rub the back of his head when out of nowhere Discord appeared beside him. He looked up with a sneer “Oh, it was you.” He rolled his eyes.
“Don’t be so rude Ol’ Bluey, these two nice folks will be your bosses along with Pinky for the week.” The draconequus chuckled as he patted Blueblood’s head “So I suggest you start being more respectful to them or you might find yourself in a little trouble with the princesses.” He gave a sly smile.
Mr. and Mrs. Cake looked on confused as Cup Cake turned to Pinky “Pinky, dear what’s going on? You know we don’t treat royalty like this.” She gave a look of disappointment.
Pinkie simply waved a hoof “Don’t worry Mrs. Cake, it’s perfectly fine. To make a very, very, long story super short, Bluey here…”
“IT’S BLUEBLOOD!” The stallion snorted with frustration “GET IT RIGHT YOU IMBE…. OW!” This time, the former prince was clonked on the head with a frying pan by Discord. He reached up to rub at his head again “Alright, alright, enough of the hitting. I’ll stop!” He snarled.
Pinkie giggled “So Mr. and Mrs. Cake, if there is anything you need done this week, not only I will help you, but also Bluey will help as well!” She placed a foreleg around Blueblood’s neck “Isn’t that right Bluey?” She turned her head to look at him with the same ear-splitting smile.
Blueblood lowered his head, closed his eyes, and let out a heavy sigh “Yes.” He shook his head slowly as he looked up at the two owners “It will be my honor to do any task you ask of me Mr. and Mrs. Cake.” He gritted his teeth I better just do as I am told so that buffoon don’t clock me in the head with another object.
Cup Cake and her husband looked at each other curiously until an odorous scent touched their noses. She placed her hoof over her nose “Well, for starters, could you help change the young ones?” She pointed her free hoof at the babies.
Blueblood’s mouth dropped at the request “WHAT?! Me, a former prince change soiled diapers? I don’t… OOW!” Once again, Discord hit him over the head, this time with a rolled up newspaper. The stallion snarled “FINE!” He sighed heavily and trotted over to Pumpkin and Pound Cake, but once he got close he placed a hoof over his muzzle and gagged.
Discord chuckled as he looked down at Pinkie “Well my dear friend, I’ll be going for now, but if you need me for anything, just give me a whistle.” He was about to snap his paw when Pinky held up a hoof “Yes? What is it Pinkie?”
“Well, after Bluey gets done changing the kiddies, we got to deliver some desserts to a filly’s birthday party in Fillydelphia, and I was wondering if you would like to join? The more the merry merrier.” She giggled and started to hop in place.
Discord placed a talon up to his lips “Hmmm… go to a birthday party? That is intriguing my master party friend.” With a snap of his talon, a sly smile crept across his muzzle “I would love to join yall Pinkie! In fact I love the little ones, they are so cute and I know they will enjoy my showcase of tricks.” He reached down and shook Pinkie’s hoof “I shall return, I will go get ready for the party.” With a snap of his paw, he vanished.
Pinkie beamed happily as she hopped over to Blueblood, but she reached to scoop up Pumpkin Cake “Are you ready little, wittle Pumpkin to get your diapy changed?” She leaned in close to nuzzle at Pumpkin as she then put her on Blueblood’s back with the soiled diaper squishing against his body.
“Eww! Don’t place that dirty thing on me!” He gagged and coughed, but Pinkie ignored his plea as she scooped up Pound Cake next, and placed him on his back. Blueblood sighed heavily as he turned toward Pinkie “Where is the blasted changing room at?”
Pinkie hopped toward the staircase and waved a foreleg “Follow me!” She giggled and began hopping up the stairs, step by step.
The stallion simply huffed, but turned his head toward the infants on his back ‘Don’t you two try anything funny or I will put you in timeout for good. Do you understand..” Pumpkin giggled a little too much and a small amount of spit flew out of her mouth and into the former prince’s face. He gasped “Yuck!” He used his magic to levitate a napkin over to wipe off the spit “You little insolent little…. Ugh nevermind!” He sighed heavily and made his way upstairs.
As he got up to the top, he saw Pinkie waiting by the doorway tapping her hoof against the floor “It’s about time you slow poke! I thought you would never get here.” She giggled and hopped into the room.
Blueblood simply rolled his eyes as he followed her into the changing room. He looked around to notice that it was also the babies’ bedroom “Can we get this over with? These disgusting garments they have on are warm… and squishy, ech!” He turned his head in disgust.
Pinkie stuck her tongue out “Pfft! Forget Pumpkin and Pound Cake, you are a big baby yourself Bluey. Maybe you ought to wear a diaper.” She giggled as she went over to the supply closet to pull out some baby wipes, baby powder, baby lotion, and two fresh diapers. She trotted back over to the changing tables where Blueblood laid the infants.
Blueblood looked at the two laid out on the changing tables “Now what?” He asked with annoyance as he looked at Pinkie.
She giggled “First we got to remove the dirty diapers.” She sat on her haunches in front of Pound Cake “Like this.” She reached toward the sides of the diaper to untape it as it fell open.
Suddenly the stench of the urine and feces stained undergarment filled the room. The potent odor caused Blueblood to gag hard “YUCK! That is foul! How are you able…” He stopped as he saw Pinkie with a clothespin on her muzzle as she rolled the diaper up and tossed over into the dirty diaper pail “Ugh.. nevermind.”
Pinkie giggled as she looked at the stallion “Now it’s your turn.” She clapped her hooves.
Blueblood snorted “Fine, but I’m not doing this ever again!” He sat down on his haunches in front of Pound Cake and proceeded to remove the diaper as Pinkie done for Pumpkin Pie. However, as soon as the diaper fell open, Blueblood gasped in horror and turned his head “BLEH! I feel like I’m going to be sick!” He held his breath to try and prevent from vomiting.
He lifted his head to quickly roll up the diaper and trotted over toward the diaper pail. However, as he carried it, he saw it floating “What?! How is that happening?”
Pinkie looked over to see the horn of little Pumpkin Cake lit up and giggled. She leaned into whisper “Oh, you little, wittle cutie, what are you going to do?” She nuzzled Pumpkin’s cheek as the filly levitated the rolled up diaper over Blueblood’s head.
The stallion looked up “No..No.. NO… AAH!” Suddenly the diaper fell and split opened over the top of Blueblood’s head. A thick, brown goop poured out over the sides and front of the diaper onto the head, and face of the former prince. His face turned into a look of pure disgust and shock “AAH! GET THIS DISEASE RIDDEN DIAPER OF MY HANDSOME FACE!” He screamed and started to run around in a panicked state.
Uh..oh, time for my emergency water blaster! Pinke rushed over to the toy chest and rummaged through it until she pulled out a super water sprayer ‘Hold still Bluey!”
Blueblood stopped galloping around and started to trot in place “Hurry up, this is absolutely dis…. Blah..bleh..bluh!” Pinkie sprayed the stallion hard with her water sprayer to remove the dirty diaper and get rid of the feces off Blueblood’s face. He coughed and hacked as he was being drowned until Pinkie finally stopped “THANKS… FOR NEARLY DROWNING ME YOU FOOL!” He coughed up the remaining water.
“No problem ol’ pal!” Pinkie giggled as she placed the water soaker back into the toy chest. She skipped back over to Pumpkin Cake “Alright, now it is time to get them wiped up, lotioned, and powdered before we put the new diapers on.” She smiled brightly as Blueblood simply snorted.
He reached to grab a wipe to clean Pound Cake, but unexpectedly, Pound Cake of a sudden released a stream of urine that struck Blueblood right in the eye “AAAH! THAT BURNS!” He quickly grabbed at his eye and galloped out of the room “I CAN’T DO THIS!” He yelled and screamed in pain.
Pinkie gasped and looked at Pound Cake “Tsk..tsk..tsk, Pound Cake, did you do that on purpose?” She only received a giggle from the colt and she trotted over to him, nuzzling him on the cheek “Good job!” She reached up to pat his head “Now I guess I’ll finish cleaning you little, wittle ones up and putting your new, fresh diapers on.” She smiled warmly at the filly and colt, and proceeded to finish getting them cleaned up and diapered.
After she got them changed, Pinkie placed the two in their cribs to take a nap before going downstairs. She arrived in the parlor “Mr. and Mrs. Cake, do you have all the yummy treats ready for me to take to the birthday party?” As she looked around for the former prince “Also, where’s Bluey?”
“For the final time it’s…. Ugh, forget it!” Blueblood came trotting down stairs with his mane wrapped up in a fluffy towel “I was in the shower room to get the sickening pony waste off my body.” He smirked as he looked at Pinkie “Don’t you ever dare try to get me to do anything like that again!” He sneered.
Pinky simply patted him on the back “Don’t worry Bluey, I won’t, but I do have another task for you to do. Mr. and Mrs. Cake?” She called as the two patrons of Sugarcube Corner came in from the kitchen “Do you two have everything ready for the birthday party?” She beamed.
Blueblood looked at Pinkie confused “Wait, what do you have in mind for me next? Give those two little miscreants a bath or…AH!” Suddenly he was smacked across the face with a hoof from Mrs. Cake.
“Don’t you dare call our precious children miscreants you miserable excuse for a stallion!” Mrs. Cake furrowed her brows in anger “For that, you will be pulling the Sugarcube Corner Trolley that we use to deliver big orders such as the cake and cupcakes my husband baked.” She huffed with a firm nod.
Blueblood rubbed at his cheek “What am I, a regular labor mule to you all?!” He sneered as he felt a pat on the back again from Pinkie “Sweet Celestia, quit touching me!” He snorted at her.
“Yeppy, yep, yep!” She beamed and hopped out of the bakery where the trolley was waiting. The cake, cupcakes, boxed silverware, party decorations, and a sealed glass punch bowl was all loaded up on the cart “Oh wow! Mr. and Mrs. Cake, you did an amazing job!” She beamed happily and hopped over to the front of the trolley where there was a harness “Alright, Bluey come and put this on.”
The former prince drug his hooves along the ground over to the harness “Are you serious?! How can you make a refined gentleman like myself pull a heavily loaded cart like that?!” He chuckled cockily.
Pinkie shook her head disapprovingly ‘Well, I guess if you don’t want to, I will just have to tell the princess…”
“NO!” Blueblood put his hooves up and waved them frantically “Alright, I’ll do it!” He snarled as he trotted close to the harness and turned his back facing the cart “Put it on!” He sighed heavily.
Pinkie placed the harness over the shoulders of Blueblood and snapped them in place “Alright Bluey, we are ready to go celebrate a birthday for a special little filly!” She giggled as she turned to the Cakes “Bye Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I shall return soon!” She waved a hoof.
The couple returned the gesture “Do be careful dear?” Mrs. Cake gave a warm smile to her Sometimes, I often consider her my own daughter. She gave a small giggle.
“And Pinky, try not to eat all of the sweets at one time or get yourself in a mess like the last birthday party you were at.” Mr. Cake shook his head with a soft smirk That Pinkie can be such a crazy mare at times, but we love her.
Pinkie hopped along the trail “C’mon Bluey, let’s go have fun!” She beamed and started to hum a happy tune to herself as Blueblood simply rolled his eyes.
I hate kids! Now I wish I stayed on that farm. That old hag of a mare might have been hard to bathe, but at least it wasn’t as foul as those… brr.. It is best to just be forgotten! He sighed heavily as he trudged along the pathway behind Pinkie. Today was definitely going to be very unpleasant one for the former prince.