//------------------------------// // Episode 4: Sirens // Story: The Villains Bar // by Zubric //------------------------------// The now typical fare of slow jazz flowed smoothly through the lively air as Gilda hummed along to the beat. Unlike the past few, slow nights, the bar was full of activity and the griffon was trying to absorb every second of it. Many a drink had been poured and meal served, and the latest visitor was a changeling who had just ordered some love-infused milk with some sugar cookies on the side. Luckily – despite the large turnout – things had remained civil. The atmosphere was vivacious enough to keep the barkeep stimulated, while not having to worry about sweeping up broken glass and lost teeth after hours. It was a nice respite from the usual chaos, she had to admit. As the changeling sauntered away with his order, Gilda found herself without any patrons to serve. So she took a gander at a nearby happening that was serving as her entertainment of the night. A loud clack signified that a game of pool was in progress, and a laugh of triumph told her who was winning. “Haha! The Great and Powerful Trixie has sunk another two balls in one go!” After giving herself a golf clap to the joy of her inflated ego, the unicorn spun her que in the air and smirked at her opponent. “Victory is clearly in my hooves!” “As if, pony! I can easily win this!” Rover leveled out his stick, taking aim at a striped ball of his choosing. With narrowed eyes, he licked his lips and pulled back his cue. “Six ball, middle pocket.” With his shot announced, the dog lightly tapped the cueball, sending it rolling towards the target. An audible clack rung out as the white ball stopped, and the striped six began its roll. It missed its mark completely, bouncing off the side next to the pocket and jumping across the table. Rover gasped as he realized his mistake far too late, watching helplessly as his ball bounced into Trixie’s last solid. That ball happily rolled into its far left pocket, taking home the win for its player. “Haha! The Great and Powerful Trixie wins again! Now pay up, mutt.” The dog muttered something under his breath before pulling a small bag of bits out of his pocket and setting it on the table. “Lousy magic pony.” Gilda snickered as she watched Rover come over to the bar and sit down with a huff. She already had a glass of water ready. “Better luck next time huh?” “Oh shut up birdbrain,” he snarled back, baring his teeth before taking the glass of water and chugging it down. Gilda ended up rolling her eyes and kept cleaning up the counter. He’s just as lousy with insults as he is at pool. Chrysalis, who was also sitting on a nearby barstool, looked up from her magazine while stretching her neck. The hairstylist magazine must have had something that tickled the queen’s fancy, since the design on the open pages morphed its way onto her head. But something else was on her mind. “You know, I’ve been thinking. For a bar that caters exclusively to villains, we sure have a lot of minor antagonists hanging around.” “Ants? I don’t see any ants,” Rover commented, looking down at the floor for any signs of the insects. The queen let out an exasperated groan.  “Not ants, you simpleton. Antagonists are ponies who get in the way of the hero. They are… hmm... second class compared to true evil.” A smirk spread across her face. Rover dragged an annoyed paw down his muzzle. “Don’t call me things I don’t know the meaning of.” Chrysalis chuckled. “It's kind of hard not to.” Nightmare Moon, who was neighboring Chrysalis and heard the queen’s exchange, leaned over with a hoof in the air. “Huzzah!” The changeling leader mirrored the gesture, returning the hoof bump with another genuine laugh. Rover grumbled something incoherent as he hopped off the stool to rejoin his packmates. With the mutt out of her hair, Chrysalis leaned up against the bartop and rested her head upon her hoof. “Pfft, when will we get some real villains in here?” Nightmare nodded in reply. “I know, right. Only got like, four real ones here. Well, except for Tirek. But he’s just a shriveled up shell of himself, so he hardly counts.” “I heard that!” a disgruntled Tirek shouted from across the room, his shackled hands busy dealing out cards at the poker table. Gilda laughed. “Hey, I may not be evil, but i’m still pretty rad.” “And using outdated lingo,” Chrysalis mumbled under her breath, scowling as the music on the radio changed to bad boys.  As if on cue, Discord appeared between the two grumbling mares and pulled them into a hug. “Oh don’t you worry, my malicious little friends. I just arranged for some new meat to arrive this very night. Did I mention they got great pipes, too? Oooh, so good.” Gilda raised an eyebrow. “You know this is a non-smoking bar right?” she reminded him, even though she knew he was perfectly aware. “What? Oh no, no, my dear griffin, not those kinds of pipes at all.” He perched himself atop an empty stool and cast his eyes on the main entrance. “In fact, they should be arriving any minute now.” ---Sirens--- “Ugh! We're lost, aren’t we?” Aria Blaze didn’t bother to hide her disdain. Rather than being happily curled up on the couch in front of the television, she was out in the chilly evening air, walking block after block to get to, well, wherever she was being led to. “No!” Adagio Dazzle shot back, her usual style carrot colour hair looking just as frazzled as her mindset. “It’s not my fault if these directions are so… ugh, convoluted.” She looked at the map once again, confounded by the directions. They took them all over town, in every direction possible, some even taking them in complete circles. Completely fed up with the useless map and constant pestering from Aria, Adagio threw up her hands in defeat. “Ugh, fine! We’re lost! You happy!?” “There it is.” The last siren, Sonata, pointed to the glowing neon sign just two buildings down.  “How did you not spot that?” Their leader groaned, clenching her fists. “Oh shut up! Let’s just get inside, i’m too thirsty to argue.” Adagio trudged up to the building that she knew wasn’t there just five seconds ago, and stared up at the neon sign. “Villain’s bar, huh? Strange name but eh.” Without a second thought, she pushed the oaken door open, only to be stopped dead, her jaw dropping at the sight before her. Her sisters were immediately at her back, also stunned into silence. The new pub in town wasn’t filled with humans as they were expecting, but it was teeming with life. About two dozen assorted creatures were sitting on the stools, hiding out in darkened booths, or gaming at the tables. Only one word was on Adagio’s mind as she took in all the mythological species drinking and chatting up the night. Equestria. Sonata pointed over Adagio’s right shoulder at one of the tables that housed several insectoid looking ponies. “Wow! Are those changelings?” Aria peered over her leader’s other shoulder and blinked her eyes several times. “Yeah you’re right, they are.” Adagio was forced to jump back when a serpentine creature thought long dead poofed into existence an inch from her face. She couldn’t jump far due to her cohorts standing behind, though, and she somehow kept her footing while the other two fell into a heap on the doorstep. Aria was the first back on her feet, using Sonata as a ledge to push off of. “Damn it, Adagio! Watch where… you’re…” Once Aria was also silenced, Sonata pulled herself up and let out a quiet woah at the sight before them. With the three displaying some sense of order once again, Discord didn’t miss a beat and extended his talon. “Ah, you must be the sirens I’ve heard all about.” Adagio struggled to find the proper words to voice her mind. “I… you… t-this is impossible! You’re a statue in the Canterlot garden!” It may have been millennia, but even she remembered the chaos he caused. She made to leave, but a paw wrapped around her shoulder and held firm. He used the claw to boop her on the nose. “I used to be. But now, I’m free. Reformation and all that jazz.” Discord’s grin broadened as he took in the sight of Aria and Sonata. “And you brought the whole gang as well. But wait, something is off.” The chaos god took a step back, taking a moment to look at humans as everyone else in the bar did the very same. “Yeah, there’s no tacos.” Adagio slammed her palm into her face as Sonata kept looking around the bar, as if she expected to find the elusive food sitting on one of the stools. Discord rubbed his chin. “No, no, that’s not it, but close. Oh!” Discord lifted his talon into the and snapped a claw. A blinding flash of light followed, causing many a patron to drop their mugs and rub their eyes. When everybody regained their vision, they saw the odd-looking bipeds now transformed into ponies, with their coats and manes surviving the transition. The now earth ponies examined their new forms, each one a little tipsy on four hooves after so long. Adagio was the first to complain. “Really? You couldn’t have changed us to our… oh I don’t know, our serpent forms?” “Oh, but where is the fun in that? He idly replied while snapping a pair of shades into existence and placing them over Adagio’s eyes. “Besides, these forms are much more adorable, especially after seeing all the fanart.” She raised an eyebrow. “Fanart? What? Ugh, nevermind. Where’s the booze?”  Adagio followed Discord’s pointed claw to the bar, where the sole griffon was mixing drinks. She shoved the draconequus out of the way and awkwardly trotted over to an empty seat. After pulling herself onto the stool, she crossed her hooves and addressed the hybrid. “Hey, what do you got?” The griffon paused her restocking efforts and spun to meet the newcomer’s eyes, sizing up the fresh pony. After a few seconds of eagle eyed examination, she shrugged. “Eh, whatever you want. Discord’s got pretty much everything here, even meat.” As the griffon drummed her claw on the bartop in apparent boredom, the other two sirens approached from behind their leader, but opted to remain standing. There was few seconds of staring at the brown griffin with the rebel charm to her, before Aria harrumphed and spun to face the barroom while Sonata continued to watch her dumbly. “I’ll have what he’s having.” Adagio’s hoof pointed toward Sombra, who was chugging down his coffee like liquid which foamed madly with streams of white fog escaping from the mug and trailing down to the floor.  “You sure? That’s some pretty strong stuff there.” Gilda remarked while picking a foreboding looking bottle from the shelf and pouring out a shot of the concoction. “Yes, bird. I want a challenge.” “Well, can’t be any worse then when she tried vodka. Remember that Adagio?” Sonata laughed. “You were passed out for, like, two hours.” “Do you have to keep mentioning that?” Their leader grunted while staring down into the glass of frothing liquid. She picked it up with her hoof, only having a moment of hesitation before slamming the shot back with a noisy gulp. Despite how hot the drink looked, it felt like an icicle sliding down her throat. Her face suddenly contorted and small twitches overtook her form. They immediately stopped, only for an uncontrollable muscle spasm to force her face into the counter.   The group in the immediate vicinity watched the now motionless mare for any signs of life. After a few silent seconds, her head shot up sharply and with a maniacal grin she shouted. “Wooo! That’s some strong stuff!” Gilda balled a talon and reached out for an equivalent of a fist bump. “I gotta admit, I thought you’d be out for at least an hour. Guess you’re not a wimpy pony after all.” Adagio’s mood darkened. "Pony? Do you seriously not know who we are?” “Should I care?” Gilda shot back as she examined her nails nonchalantly. “We’re the Sirens. We lure ponies, and more recently, humans under our spell with our singing and feed off conflict. Hell, if it weren’t for us, Equestria wouldn’t even have some of the music styles it has today.” A sudden laugh interrupted Adagio’s explanation, and she looked to her left to see the dark coated alicorn who had been blending in oh so well. Her ethereal mane and tail looked remotely familiar, but the siren couldn’t place where. The alicorn was looking her way with a raised glass. “I thought you looked familiar. My ex-host defeated you if i’m not mistaken, thousands of years ago.” Adagio was even more confused now about who the alicorn was, and her inebriated state wasn’t helping matters. “Host? W-who are you?” Nightmare Moon stuck her head up in a proud stance. “I am Nightmare Moon, Queen of the night. At least I used to be, until I was defeated and ended up in this infernal place,” She glanced at the other two ponified sirens. “I took control of Princess Luna for some time, that is why I remember.” Aria stopped watching bar happenings and took a closer look at the nightmare. “Oooh, now I remember you. Nice mane by the way.” “Thank you. I do try to look as menacing as possible.” With some of the wierdness of the situation wearing off, the other two sirens took a seat. Aria ordered a drink and a snack, and Sonata looked out towards the rest of the pub for any activity of interest. The changelings she had spotted upon first entry all kept to themselves in their corner, with what she assumed was their queen neck deep in a game of poker with them. Judging by her stacks of chips, she was well and truly above her underlings. The atmosphere of the place was both inviting and imposing. It may have been a meeting place for all of Equestria’s villains and a hub of evil, but that didn’t mean it had to be that way. Everyone there seemed to be civil, and enjoying each others’ company. But that all came to a screeching halt when she heard the voices coming out of the restroom. “Trixie will not give you her cookies. Get your own!”  An aqua unicorn with a wizard’s cap on her head was backing out of the restroom with a bag of cookies in her magical grasp. Trailing right behind her was a tall red dragon with greedy,  outstretched claws. “Pfft, why should I when I can just take yours.” He made a swipe at the bag, only for Trixie to whirl about with a glare and a lit horn. “Back. Off.” Garble laughed and wriggled his sharp claws mockingly. “Ha! What you going to do, pony? Throw sparkles into my face.” The drink that Adagio had so brazenly drank a minute ago must have had some after-effects, for the voices of Trixie and Garble – and only them – hit her ears sharply. Ordinarily, she wouldn’t be troubled by petty squabbles, but something had been awakened in her mind. Why sit back and just absorb their negative energy when she could intervene, help the pony, and have some fun in the process.  With her mind made up, the siren slid off her stool and stealthily made her way towards the quarreling pair. “Trixie will do way more than that, fiend! You’ll bow before the glory of her magic!” “Now you’re starting to get on my nerves!” “Hey! How about you pick on someone your size!” Garble’s eyes narrowed as he stared down his new challenger. “Another pony?” he grinned smugly. “Please, you guys bruise like grapes. I could take a dozen of you!” To emphasize his point, he balled his fist and pounded it into the other hand. “Trixie doesn't remember you saying that when Sombra swung you around like a rag doll.” “Quiet you, no one asked for your opinion,” he snarled while spreading his wings. Adagio was now standing tall on her rear legs. “My, my, someone is on quite the ego trip. Typical guy behavior. Let me guess, athlete?”  She couldn’t help the smirk as she witnessed the dragon’s fists clench. Oh, did I hit a nerve? She wondered as she crossed her forelegs. Instead of a wasting any more time on a useless retort, Garble charged forward showing his teeth. “You’ve asked for it!” Adagio stood, nonplussed, until the last moment. When the dragon was almost on her, she dropped her forelimbs and bent her legs, lowering her center of mass as far as possible. Garble tried to strike first with a blinding swipe of his red claws, but she easily dipped her head under the attack and enveloped the dragon in her forelimbs. With a huff of exertion, Adagio stiffened her back legs as she bodily lifted the dragon off of his feet and threw him over her shoulder like yesterday’s garbage. She couldn’t see the look of shock on Garble’s face as he tumbled through the air, nor could she see him landing on the house of cards, which promptly came tumbling down, but she did hear a satisfying thud. After a second, she turned around to survey the damage. The dragon was sprawled out on a table, a bed of playing cards beneath him, and a pissed of emperor who may or may not have wanted to commit murder at that time sitting right there. Guessing that the situation was resolved, Adagio wiped her hoof on her coat and grinned wryly. “You were saying?” Before Sombra could get in any hits of his own, Garble vaulted off the table and onto his feet. He was now literally huffing and puffing, with little jets of smoke blowing out his nostrils with each breath. “No way I’m letting a pony show me up again!” With a roaring battlecry, he once again charged, and Adagio prepared to throw him once more – into the bar this time. She was pleasantly surprised when he slid to a stop just out of reach and made a wild right hook. So he does know how to fight, the siren thought as she let the fist sail over her head while driving a hoof into the underside of his exposed elbow. Too bad he’s still gonna lose! Having been in the human world for quite awhile, Adagio and her cohorts had spent some time learning the various hand to hand combat styles the world had to offer. She knew every martial art imaginable, and how to inflict the maximum amount of damage with minimal effort. She didn’t know exactly where a dragon’s pressure points were, but judging by Garble’s reaction to various jabs at elbows, knees, and other locations, her knowledge of human anatomy translated over quite well. Despite the thick scales, her lightning quick hits were doing a number, taking the dragon down from prideful fury and leaving an unbalanced and uncoordinated mess behind. After a few more punches, the big bully was thoroughly spent, barely staying up on quaking legs. Adagio would have called it there if she was alone and not under the influence, but the cheers and howls from the crowd that had amassed around the fight and her own arrogance demanded some kind of finishing move. Dropping down on all fours, she stretched out one leg at a time, getting each limb warmed up. After working out the kinks, she rocked back on her hooves and took aim. Suddenly shifting her weight forward, the siren balanced on her forehooves and pivoted on the spot so that her primed rear legs faced the target. She let loose with both hooves, connecting with Garble’s chest with an audible crack and launching him clear off his feet. This time, he slammed down onto the hardwood floor, sliding into the base of a table and banging his head on the legs. Confident the dragon was truly down and out, Adagio took the time to catch her breath as the whole bar shook in an uproar of various shouts, howls, and screeches from the amassed audience. After a few seconds with only a pitiful groan coming from Garble, the crowd dispersed back to their original doings. Nightmare Moon banged her hoof on the bar, laughing deeply. “Oh what a show!” She raised her glass up and chugged it down. Discord nodded in agreement. “Oh yes, very well done. That teenage dragon just doesn’t know when to quit.” He watched as Garble struggled to pull himself up to a table while mumbling curses to himself. Adagio rubbed her hoof to her chest and went back to sit down, Aria delivering a high hoof for her show that she gladly returned. She stopped midway through her stride though, taking a second glance at the showmare she had just saved. “If this is a villains bar, then why is she here? She doesn't exactly scream evil.” “Hey!” Trixie huffed “If Trixie wasn’t a villain, she wouldn't have been invited here.” She took a seat by the bar, watching the Flim Flam brothers setting up the stage for karaoke hour. Adagio wasn’t convinced in the slightest. “Yeah, I’m not buying it. You were more of a pawn than a villain.”   Trixie ordered a drink while huffing again. “Well oh whatever. Trixie is powerful in her own right. Trixie doesn’t even know you, so you’re opinion means nothing to her.” Adagio shrugged. “Pony or human, she’s still got that same old personality.” She ignored any more of Trixie’s objections and strolled back to the bar and retook her stool, her other two compadres retaking their seats to her left as well. She glanced over at the night queen once again, this time to ask about the broody soul who lurked in the far booth. “So who’s the black stallion in the cape?” Nightmare didn’t even need to look to know who Adagio was referencing. “You mean the one with an odd obsession with making card houses? That, my agressive little pony, is ex-King Sombra. My… roommate.” The slight pause caused Adagio to smirk. “He is kind of cute isn’t he?” She sipped some ice water, and curled her smile more. In a completely uncharacteristic move, Nightmare swallowed her drink wrong and was beset with a coughing fit. Once she got her throat clear, she sputtered madly. “What? Why would anyone think him as cute? Ha, he’s not even handsome.” The other two sirens caught on to their leader’s little game as Blaze spoke up. “Oh? Then why were you looking at him like that just now?” she asked, seeing Nightmare tighten her magic grip on her glass ever so slightly. Discord hung upside down from behind as he commented on the conversation. “Oh those two argue all the time like a married couple. I’m surprised they aren't dating by now,” he teased as Nightmare gasped and groaned. “Why must you insinuate that I have crush on the likes of him!” she spouted, only to see Sombra run by with smoke spewing out of his ears for some reason and swiftly disappear into the restroom. “So you do have crush on him! I knew it,” Adagio chuckled. “It’s totally obvious,” Sonata chimed in. “We see it happen, like, all the time.” “Wha… but… Gah!” Nightmare Moon slammed her mug onto the bar, and with a brief flash, she was gone from sight. With her secret figured out, the sirens smiled collectively as their leader leaned back slightly on her stool. “I don’t know about you, ladies,” Adagio looked over at her cohorts. “But I think I’m going to like it here.” “Agreed.” “Me too, but I still wish it had tacos.” Rather then get irritated with Sonata over her obsession with tacos, both Aria and Adagio burst into laughter, Discord joining in as well. They laughed because, after so long, they had found the perfect spot to hang out at – with natives of their own world to boot. They would visit many times in the future, Adagio was certain of that.