//------------------------------//
// Chapter Eighty-Four: Stardust Time 
// Story: A Journey Beyond Sanity 
// by Darkwing Dust 
//------------------------------//

"You know, it's funny."

"Hm? What is?"

Twilight answered casually as we walked together through the Ponyville park, as was my idea after getting her some flowers and a suggested break from her studies, "Ever since meeting you, I never pegged you for a romantic."

Ha! If she saw me in high school she'd have an entirely different opinion. "You'd be surprised."

As though sensing my thoughts, Twilight sent me a humoured smile. "Not that I'm objecting to the notion of you being romantic. It's rather cute."

Jesus Twilight...

"Way to dignify me."

Twilight chuckled, and that adorable laughter prompted me to mimic her. "Even strong stallions can have their soft-hearted moments."

"Too true."

A comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company. The sun was shining on this beautiful morning, making it perfect to have asked Twilight to accompany me for a walk through the fresh air. Then, the mare spoke again, "It was sweet of you to suggest this, Jack, especially since you're so reluctant to do anything in the morning."

Grinning, I glanced at the gorgeous alicorn, speaking with a sincere heart, "Well, as you said, we have to spend as much time together as possible. And every moment with you is the best part of my day." Twilight's cheeks turned a bright pink, prompting my fond smile.

Not to mention, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me...

"The feeling is mutual..." Emphasized with the alicorn leaning her head against my shoulder, and I returned the rested atop her head. I'm amazed with how many time we've embraced each other like this that Twilight's horn hadn't poked my eye out yet.

Then, the sound of children laughing drew our attention.

"And these goes the Crusaders, off to school," Twilight noted happily, observing the three fillies merrily walking by a few feet away, chatting to themselves out of earshot. "It's always wonderful to see young ponies finding happiness in their education."

Yeah...

"Maybe one day you can provide some young ponies with some teaching of your own." Prompting Twilight's glance. "You'd make a great teacher Twilight."

At the truthful compliment, the alicorn's eyes looked away in flattery, brushing her mane lightly. "You really think so?"

"Undoubtedly. Hell, you're a wellspring of knowledge and mistress of lectures. To learn from you would be the greatest honour ever." It's true, Twilight would make an amazing teacher, far more than I could be. Hell, she'd do a more competent job at it than, say, Celestia. If being a Princess doesn't work out, then there are always other options.

Twilight grinned bashfully, the redness on her features only deepening, mumbling humbly and shyly, "You overestimate me... But thank you, Jack," The alicorn glanced over where the three fillies were currently walking to school, sighing rather wistfully. "I must admit, the idea of being a teacher has always been a passing thought... I wonder..."

Really? "You too?"

Twilight then looked back at me, surprise in her purple orbs. "You thought about being a teacher too?"

"I've... Always entertained the idea," I confessed. Well, not always, but the idea has intrigued me whenever the thought happens.

"You never mentioned that before."

"It was never brought up." I shrugged modestly. "It just seems fun."

The mare blinked, before a teasing smile took place on her muzzle. "In that case, I think you'd make a spectacular teacher yourself."

I snorted jokingly. "Not likely, but thank you love."





"You know sometimes I believe you intentionally forget our weekly schedule over sorting out your mane."

"What? No no Rarity, I would never forget."

Rarity sighed - Ow. - Before finally relenting from the torture and setting the comb down. "That sarcasm won't get you anywhere darling, nor will your untamed mane get you anywhere with Twilight if you continued to belittle your own appearance so."

"I'm glad you care."

"Hm, quite." The white unicorn allowed my to get off my seat, beginning to head out of the room herself. "I will be back in just a moment, and we shall complete transforming your hair into a wonder to behold! For this week anyway."

"Yeah, I look forward to it..." I muttered under my breath, sighing once the mare was out of sight. Not that I don't appreciate the help, but sometimes I think Rarity gets a little too concerned with my and Twilight's relationship. I guess to date a Princess I do have to look the part, but didn't this mare learn a short while ago that as long as someone likes you for who you are, then it doesn't matter?

While that is true, Specter's sudden voice appeared, prompting me to regard the ceiling in surprise. Even one must attempt to at least appeal to their loved one as a gesture of caring for their reputation and how other perceive them. Princess Sparkle, while fortunately content with your chosen lack for self-impression, would be gratified for the effort. Miss Rarity is looking out for her friend's best interests.

I suppose...

"What are you looking at?" A new voice popped up, inciting me to look back down, meeting the inquisitive gaze of Rarity's younger sister.

I smiled in greeting. "Nothing, Sweetie Belle. Did you have a nice day at school?"

The young filly shrugged. "We had to go home early." Oh? You don't entirely too thrilled about that. The unicorn's ears drooped slightly. "Miss Cheerilee's ill from the flu, so there wasn't any point going."

Oh... "I'm sorry to hear that."

"That is indeed dreadful," Rarity commented solemnly, choosing that moment to re-enter the room. "Is there no one to substitute during poor Miss Cheerilee's sickness?"

Sweetie shook her head sadly. "No. Even if there was, no one could replace Miss Cheerilee; she's the greatest teacher ever!"

Hm, no substitute would be an issue. I could recommend this seemingly open position to Twilight... No, she's far too busy as is. And the others, good as they were, I doubt would be able to stable an entire room of hyperactive children.

"No one has been considered to temporarily replace her?" Sweetie nodded, prompting my thoughtful frown to deepen.

Then that left one alternative option...

"I'll do it."

Both girls regarded me curiously, surprised by the sudden conviction in my tone. "Do what?" Rarity inquired.

"I'll take the position, until Miss Cheerilee recovers of course." Both ponies blinked, having not completely expected that idea. I shrugged casually, the very idea honestly filling me with a small sense of giddiness, "Who knows, I might have some knowledge that can be past down to the younger generation."

"Why, Stardust, that is simply just... A marvelous idea!" Well, that took a turn. Rarity was then grinning approvingly, "Willingly educating the younger colts and fillies would attribute to being a great ruler for the future." Oh dear God. The mare nodded to herself happily, "Yes, this would work! This would work indeed!" Without a care for personal space, the enthusiastic unicorn promptly walked forward and pushed me back into the seat, spinning me to face the mirror. And with a rather spastic grin, Rarity announced proudly, "I shall give you the proper appearance of an well-educated individual!"

Already I was beginning to regret even proposing the idea out loud...





You are wasting precious time.

Oh hey, you decided to finally speak up today. What, waited until I did something you didn't approve of before making a comment?

You are now dedicating precious time to teaching a few ungrateful whelps? Sombra sneered, making his remarks as I headed towards the school, yawning for a moment before steeling myself and swallowing my own nervousness. Of course, he wasn't making things better, I'm certain your friends wouldn't truly appreciate you educating foals instead of focusing on defeating Tirek.

I don't know, they seemed pretty cool with it. Twilight even expressed pride at my proposal to help out the school, pointing out the irony of the conversation we had earlier. The alicorn kindly provided me with a suitcase, resting atop my back, and again, remarked how proud she was of my desire to teach the young ponies everything I knew.

What can I say? I love kids.

That doesn't excuse the fact that your negligence will only doom your friends and all ponies in Equestria regardless. Teaching a few troublesome foals will be ultimately pointless.

Well, at least I had fun doing so. Besides, if I dedicate my entire time to training and nothing else towards the upcoming threat, who's to say I won't magically disappear back to my world straight afterwards? Also, who wouldn't deny the position of teaching, even for a short while? I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts?

Arriving by the door into the sole classroom of the building, I straightened the tie around my neck. Rarity happily provided me with formal attire, as per my request, and Twilight even stated how handsome I looked for the part. The memory brought a smile to my muzzle, and I mentally braced myself before entering the building.

How bad can it be?

...Ah.

Right on cue, the students halted amongst their mischief upon the sound of the door opening, hurriedly sitting down at their desks and hiding anything they shouldn't be having, such as paper airplanes and the like. Without breaking a stride, I smiled appropriately and shut the door, heading towards my - temporary, I had to remind myself - larger desk, and already disappointed by the lack of chair for me.

Ah well, that can be rectified later.

Setting down the suitcase, I walked around and leaned against the desk, clasping my front hoofs together while saying in greetings, "Good morning, young ones. I'm sure a few of you know who I am-"

"You're Stardust Balance!" A colt exclaimed from the back, "The special somepony of Princess Twilight!" And already I was being regarded with looks of awe and hushed whispers.

And I hadn't even been here for more than two minutes.

"Yes, well, in here you shall address me as Mr Balance-"

"How can an Earth Pony be a Princess's special somepony?" An inconvenient voice I recognized as Diamond Tiara's asked impolitely. Expressions loosening slightly, I refused to be deterred, speaking calmly.

"That's not important, now-"

But the students were having none of it.

"When did you start dating the Princess?"

"What's she like?"

"Is it true she sometimes sleeps with a book on her head?"

...How the Hell did they know about that last part?

Ungrateful whelps.

Sombra, please, they're just kids.

"We're not here to discuss the activities of my girlfriend," I finally proclaimed sternly over the many voices, giving them a look demanding their obedience. As they slowly obliged, I nodded in satisfaction. Much better. "Anyway, here you will call me Mr Balance. I will be substituting in Miss Cheerilee's absence until she fully recovers. Any questions?"

Answered by everyone raising their limbs.

"...Not about Princess Sparkle?"

And they all lowered.

Oh, this was going to be fun...

Regretting it already? My, it's almost as if you didn't think this through, as always.

Ignoring that snarky internal comment, I moved swiftly around the desk, searching through the drawers for something specifically. Aha! Also finding a pencil, I set the sheet filled with names down, stating, "We shall do a register. When I say your name, reply with 'Here,' or 'Here sir,' if you wish. Ahem... Apple Bloom?"

"Here!"

"Archer?"

"Here sir!"

"Aura?"

"Here!"

"Cotton Cloudy?"

"Here!"

"Diamond Tiara?"

"Here sir! Tell Princess Twilight I said hello!"

"Yeah sure... Featherweight?"

"Here sir!"

"Liza Doolots?"

"Here!"

"Peachy Pie?"

"Here!"

"Scootaloo?"

"Right here!"

"Silver Spoon?"

"Here sir! Send the Princess my regards!"

Oh Jesus...

Alright. I set the paper, prompting their surprised looks at my expression. Time to address this elephant in the room before it became an issue: "Alright, let me set the record straight here: I am not here to get any of you on the Princess's good side, not that I need to. I am here to educate you, and for you to learn from it. Nothing more, nothing less. I want no brown-nosing, no non-subtle attempts of getting me to reference you to the Princess. I expect effort and results, and nothing more. Am I understood?"

A reply of incoherent mumbling among them.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"Yes sir!" Much better. Just a different tune in the tone and suddenly they respond much more enthusiastically.

"Good. Now then, where were we? Ah yes... Sunny Daze?"





"Ah ah ah!"

I have never been subjected to such humiliation in my existence; the iceberg looks more preferable now than seeing you do... This.

Oh come now Sombra; don't be a downer!

"So that makes the number of the Elements of Harmony-" I pointed in the air with each count, some of the students mimicking my movements, "One, two, three, four, five, six! Six Elements of Harmony! Ah ah ah!"

That laugh caused the young ponies to break into hysterics, giggling non-stop at the act. I knew this costume for the Maths course would come in handy! Maybe I'm enjoying this a little too much, personally, but [BEEP] it, this was fun!

After all, what's better than doing Maths?

"Six Elements for one, two, three, four, five, six! Six ponies!"

Why, doing Maths while dressing as the Count of course!

"Ah ah ah!" The students resounded with the famous laughter of the Sesame Street character, grins plastered on their muzzles for my act. Meanwhile, fun poopers like Tiara and Spoon were just regarding me and their fellow students with baffled yet annoyed looks.

Hey, Hakuna Matata.

"Now, Twilight and I," I began with my Count impression, speaking in reminisce and humour. "We started dating on the third! One, two, three, ah ah ah!" Followed by awed yet amused looks, prompting me to continue, "Ten... That's how much money I made in my paycheck, ah ah ah!"

Cease with the wild hoof gestures as you speak. It's irritating.

Oh do shut your fat muzzle. Ah ah ah!

"How many hours until lunch?" It was the Crusaders who answered individually.

"One-"

"Two-"

"Three!"

"Three! Three hours until lunch, but for now you suffer! Ah ah ah!"

I'm suffering...

"A friend of mine repeated the third grade four times! Was he a - ah ah - idiot?" They all blinked, rearing back from the sharp tone at the last word... Before breaking down in giggles and grins again at my leaking smile. "And I see one, two! Two fillies being sticks in the mud! I refrain from being specific, ah ah ah!"

But everyone knew regardless, especially the Crusaders, who snickered to themselves, before I distinctly heard Scootaloo comment, "Boy, having Stardust as our teacher keeps becoming a better idea more and more!"

Guess I'm leaving a good impression. Ah ah ah.

"Now, who wants to solve a complicated math questions in groups of one, two, three? Ah ah ah!"





Suffice to say, I was already enjoying myself. And, from the looks of things, my students were too.

"So remember kids." I wrapped up in my lecture over history, chalking down the most important words on the board. "Just because you can do questionable stuff doesn't mean you should; and rulers are of no exception. Otherwise, ponies can be endangered from the choices you make, and even get hurt. No one, not even Princess Sparkle or, perhaps most importantly, Princess Celestia is infallible."

Some of the word son said board being specifically "Celestia," "Questionable" and "Ponies can be endangered." I stood back, admiring my handiwork in satisfaction.

Subtle.

"What does 'infallible' mean?" A filly asked, hoof raised, but a younger colt beat me to it.

"Oh! Oh! It means somepony who can't be tricked or do no wrong!"

"Very good Featherweight." The pegasus beamed at my approving nod, inciting myself to smile. "No one is perfect. That is what history has taught us time and time again." A brief glance at the clock while the students nodded at my words.

Alright, the next hour strikes before lunch. Time for the next lesson.

"And now students." I grinned, walking behind the desk again and beginning to lower myself from their field of vision. "It's time for an education about inventions, and this time we have another special guest. Bare with me."

It only took a few seconds - thank you cartoon physics - for me to put on the costume just as I did with the Count. And I consider this next one to be adequate, judging by the stunned taken aback looks on their faces as I popped up from behind the desk, standing on two hinds legs with my front hoofs clasped behind my back, giving the impression of a particular scientist.

Heh, it figured Sombra would recognize the character after searching through my memories, You can't be serious...

"Greetings, young ponies!" They started grinning at my impression, despite having no idea who I was cosplaying as. In a deep yet grandiose voice, I tilted my circular glasses before clearing my throat, the false orange moustache muffling my voice somewhat, "I am the distinguished scientist from Mobius. You may call me Doctor Ivo Robotnik. Or, as I am known by an infuriating blue rodent." My eyes narrowed, playing the part with mock-anger. "Dr. Eggman."

"Hi Dr. Eggman!" My mouth twitched, threatening to grin at the collective greeting of the humoured children.

Some, however, were just as enjoying themselves as Sombra. "You've got to be kidding me..." Tiara muttered to her friend, as though I couldn't hear her.

"Now," I began dramatically, walking around the desk closer to the students. I was going for the Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog version of Robotnik; the goofy clown one. Do I need to be more specific? "I am here to seek your assistance, young ponies, in helping me best that hedgehog once and for all! You will help me invent the key component to my latest and greatest invention. My two incompetent lackeys couldn't invent something even if the instructions were instilled into their measly cheese for brains!" More snickering and grins. "Let's see how you fare better."

"Yes Dr. Eggman!"

"That's Dr. Robotnik you imbeciles!" But my tone was far from serious, prompting the many giggles and smiles of the class.

"Yes Dr. Eggman!"





I'm beginning to believe you have no concept of shame, boy.

Shame? Nah, when it came to kids, some leniency to acting their age is allowed. Helps connect with them better. My ears perked up at the sound of laughter outside. Lunchtime was here, and the little ponies had hurriedly escaped the confines of their classroom to have as much fun they can, inciting my fond shaking head.

I like to believe I was doing a good job, so far. Shame it wasn't permanent...

Maybe I could suggest a deal with Cheerilee whenever she requires a day off.

Why you would rather spend a day indulging some foals with useless information is beyond my understanding.

The door suddenly opening interrupted my upcoming retort. Instead, I glanced away from my desk, having inspecting some papers about recent tests these ponies were to complete by Cheerilee, and was greeted by a familiar dragon, inciting my grin. "Hey Spike."

"Hey bro," Spike replied enthusiastically, setting down a brown paper bag on the desk. "Twilight wanted me to deliver your lunch."

"Ah, excellent." Rubbing my hoofs excitedly, I opened the bag and pulled out... "A hay sandwich and carton of orange juice..."

Spike was hardly surprised by the reaction, nodding wisely. "Yep, she knows you hate eating anything only ponies would eat, but Twilight wanted to provide you with healthy food and drink to set a good example for the students."

"Of course she did..." I mumbled in fond exasperation, smiling humouredly at the food and carton in my hoofs. Brown bread, too. Oh yippee...

Well, all for the students, I suppose. Twilight just had their well-being in mind.

"So, how's the teaching job going?" Spike inquired, perching himself to sit on the edge of the desk.

Thankful for a distracting conversation, I set the food down before grinning lightly at him. "Pretty amazing actually, Spike, I should do it more often."

The dragon chuckled. "Heheh, Twilight was worried you might get annoyed by them. Thank goodness that's not the case, now I won't have to stick around to help!"

Oh...?

"Is that so?"

"Yep." Spike nodded in satisfaction. "When you made me go to school that one time, it was torturous! I couldn't bare another minute in there with all those ponies asking me questions about Twilight, and not a single one about me!" I can sympathize there. "Welp, I guess I should tell Twilight that everything's fine- Stardust?" My hoof immediately clutched my small arm before the dragon could leap off the desk, glancing at my sly expression.

"Well, since you're already here, I could use the assistance of Twilight's number one helper." Eyes widened in panic, Spike struggled from my grip briefly, prompting my own amused chuckle. "Haha, and besides, I'm sure Twilight would appreciate my care for your own education, Spike."

The dragon groaned loudly, slamming his baby dragon hand on the desk. "This is so unfair!"

"No, you spending over eight hours occupying the bathroom by taking a bath is unfair. I call this completely justified."





"And that, my dear children, is how I earned my cutie mark." My repeated fabricated tale came to a close, turning around to face the awed ponies, smiling in satisfaction. "Saving and entire kingdom from basically itself."

"And they all lived happily ever after?"

"And they all lived happily ever after."

"Wow..." One filly whispered in quiet amazement.

Oh how I was enjoying this.

"It was a good tale," Tiara confessed rather reluctantly, before slyly glanced behind her. "A far better way to get one's cutie mark than how some others will ever how theirs." Spoon snickered in agreement, and I frowned at the light jab towards three particular fillies, who tried to not look bothered but failing miserably.

"It's not as if cutie marks are the essential key to a good lifestyle, Miss Tiara."

"Oh I disagree sir," The pink unicorn replied smugly, "A cutie mark means everything to a pony. Without it, how can a pony find their true destiny?"

"By making it. Simple." Curious eyes were drawn on me, prompting me to proceed into another lecture. But this one was different, this was more vital. And judging by Spike's look, he knew exactly what I was going to say, "Destiny is not foretold by what some mark on your behind dictates," Some snickered at the phrasing, but my tone remained serious. "You can choose what to do with your life, rather than allow some mark to decide for you. That's what life is, has been and always will be: peo- ponies making decisions for themselves."

"But- But that's stupid!" Oh? Tiara glared at me, any classmate who agreed with me and, by extension, disagreed with her. The filly leaned up slightly from her desk, as if to emphasize her words. "You can't decide what destiny to make for yourself! What if what you pick is wrong?"

"What if what your mark picks is wrong?" I retorted.

"Impossible! A cutie mark is never wrong-"

"Nothing is impossible." She paused at my firm tone, mellowing a little at my look, allowing me to continue without interruption, addressing the entire room with this. "Open your minds, children; nothing in life is ever chosen for you; you must choose for yourself, eventually, when you grow up and your parents let you have lives of your own. But don't go seeking one particular thing in life and miss out on other things along the way, especially something like a cutie mark. Three ponies here can recall a lesson I incorporated not too long ago."

"Oh! Oh!" Scootaloo raised her hoof wildly after said three exchanged a look. "That in the end, no matter the destination-"

"- It's not the destination that matters, but the journey it takes getting there-"

"- And the ponies you meet while getting there!"

"And the Crusaders have it in spades." I smiled and nodded approvingly to the three beaming fillies, while others looked at them in awe. Approval was an understatement, I was downright proud of those kids. "Focus on the destination, you might get what you want, but maybe not your happiness. Remember the adventure it took to reach that point, and you will realize that is the greatest part of your life."

"A lesson we can all take to heart," A sudden unexpected voice responded lightly, inciting us to glance at the doorway, greeted by a familiar dark pink Earth Pony.

"Miss Cheerilee!"

And just like that, the class wholly forgot about my lecture, rushing from their seats towards their real teacher without thought. Cheerilee grinned lightly at the students crowded around her, making noises of joy, before she sneezed loudly, prompting the students to back away, before the mare looked sheepish.

Hehe, excuse you.

"That was fun while it lasted, huh?"

"Yep," I said serenely to Spike's question, leaning against the desk while watching the interaction still. How those little ponies adored their teacher so, it was a sight to behold. I never witnessed anyone back when I was in school hold a teacher in such high regard.

I quite envy it...

Ah well, seems the mare is feeling a lot more better now. Guess this meant no more teaching for me. It was fun while it lasted, and that's what mattered.

"Hey Mr. Balance- Um, Stardust." My gaze turned then to the three approaching fillies, Apple Bloom speaking with a sincere smile, "We just wanna say how fun it was for you to be our teacher today."

"More like how awesome fun it was!" Scootaloo added, imitating her idol almost flawlessly.

Sweetie Belle concluded for them, "And we hope you'll get to do it again someday. We learnt a lot from you."

...You three...

"And I am proud and happy to have called you my students," I expressed in gratitude and elation, gesturing to the rest of the crowd still observing a sneezing Cheerilee, "And I'll be more than glad if you ever seek my guidance or counseling for anything in the future. But I'm sure Twilight would be more capable than... Twilight..."

...Hm...

"Hey girls." The three looked back at me from Cheerilee curiously, and I began speaking in a thoughtful tone as an idea came to mind, "What if I could get you to learn from someone with more knowledge and experience than I?"





"So, Spike tells me you had more fun than he expected."

I couldn't repress the grin, glancing over from the novel I was currently reading towards the curious mare. "Honestly, as did I; teaching was more of a joy to do than I thought."

Twilight blinked, pausing from sorting out the nearby bookshelf, looking at me in slight puzzlement... Before a small grin emerged on her features. "Right? Isn't it wonderful to pass on your own education to someone else?"

"Yeah. You would've loved it Twilight." I matched her gleeful expression. Evidently, Twilight was more than happy her boyfriend expressed an equal desire of teaching as she did. "The fact that it was kids too was even better; I don't think I could manage teaching a room full of teenagers."

The mare giggled. "Heh, thank goodness then. You always seem to do well with kids; exhibit A being Spike."

"What can I say? I love kids."

"I know." Twilight nodded, giving me a fond look, eyes drooping slightly lovingly. "And I'm proud of you for having fun, teaching those young ponies no doubt some very important lessons, 'Mr. Balance.'"

"Well..." I said jokingly, grinning playfully at the teasing name, "I suppose they just knew better." Followed by shared light laughter, before I smiled genuinely. "And I would happily take over Cheerilee for a day anytime again." Before I eventually return home.

Twilight's smile only widened. "Maybe we can teach together someday."

The very idea prompted my smile to match hers. "I'd love that." Hopefully, again, before I left this world indefinitely. Then, a sudden knock on the door had drawn our attention from our moment towards it, and I had an inkling, as balance was telling me via harmony signatures, who the visitors were. "Although I think some certain fillies would like to learn solely from you first."

Twilight blinked curiously at my musing statement, before setting the books down and walking towards the door. I feigned interest in the book, raising it to hide my triumphant grin. Won't she be in for a surprise?

"Oh, hello girls, what's up?"

Apple Bloom answered for them, "Hey Twilight, we were just wonderin' if we could learn a couple of lessons from ya. Stardust said you were the best teacher to ever exist in all Equestria."

The look on Twilight's face as she glanced at me was one I will remember for decades to come; surprise turning to pure bliss before she smiled brightly back at the waiting fillies. "Why, I'd be honoured to, even though my special somepony grossly exaggerates my skills, like always." I rolled my eyes in fondness. "Come on in, Spike's making nachos."