Rarity's eyes slowly fluttered open.
At first she thought it had all been a dream. Her queen had not been defeated by Celestia. The Coming Dawn was still gathering its strength, waiting for the right moment to strike. Sweetie Belle hadn't been killed. But upon further inspection, Rarity noticed something she hadn't seen in five years. Something she never thought she'd see again. Something that made all questions of her previous memories being a dream go away.
A single beam of sunlight coming through the window.
Rarity tried to push herself up, hissing in pain when she put weight on her wounded foreleg. She laid back down and examined the leg. The previous scars hadn't gone away, but the area where she'd been stabbed had been wrapped in white bandages. For whatever reason, Celestia had decided to spare her. She'd decided to let her live through a living hell for a little while longer. Rarity looked around the room and saw, to her surprise, that she wasn't in a jail cell. In fact, she didn't appear to be anywhere in Nightmare Castle. It didn't make sense for her to have been moved to Canterlot Castle either. Nightmare Moon had trashed it once she'd finally managed to take over.
That had been a bloody battle.
Rarity more gingerly slid out of the bed she had been placed in and examined the room further. She didn't recognize it, though she could tell that it had been recently cleaned. Perhaps she had been moved to Canterlot Castle after all. She limped on three legs towards the door and tried the handle. No luck. It was locked tight. Rarity sighed and nodded. Saved or not, she was still a prisoner to the restored regime.
Just as she'd been a prisoner to the last one, though in a different way.
Rarity noticed a pleasant odor, and turned to see a tray with some food next to her bed. The back of her mind told her that she was hungry, but she didn't care about eating. Out of curiosity she walked up to it. It seemed to be a stew of some kind, alongside what appeared to be freshly baked bread. She shook her head and turned away from it. She didn't deserve it. She certainly wouldn't have treated any captured enemies this way. She'd have merely slit their throats.
Rarity's brow furrowed, and she looked down to her right hind leg. As expected, the knife she'd always kept strapped there had been removed, along with the strap itself. Rarity didn't feel any surprise, no prisoner would be allowed weapons they were so proficient in, but it felt... odd to not have it. It had been an extension of her and her queen's will for the past five years. It almost felt like she'd had her horn removed. Her eyes flicked up to her horn. Instead of removing it, Celestia had opted for the standard magic blocking ring.
Before Rarity could consider her situation further, her door swung open and Celestia walked in. Rarity glared at her and sat back down on her bed.
"Come to rub your cruelty in my face?"
Celestia flinched back before closing the door behind her. "No, Rarity, I have not. I'm merely checking to see how you're doing. The spell I placed on the room alerted me that you'd woken up. I admit that it was rather touch-and-go for a while there. Even after I cast a few healing spells on you, I was not certain you would survive."
"You should have let me die, Celestia," Rarity hissed. "What do I have to live for now, hmm? I killed my parents, I killed my friends, and I was too slow to save my sister. I've killed dozens of ponies over the past five years. Equestria will never forgive me for that."
"They might if we explain that you were forced to do it," Celestia said.
"And they'd believe it?" Rarity retorted. "You forget that I was a foal murderer even before Nightmare Moon put a knife in my hooves." Rarity shook her head and looked down to the floor. "My life is over, Celestia, even if you didn't let me die. There is no way I'll be allowed to simply re-integrate into society."
Celestia remained silent for a few moments while both of them thought the situation over. Eventually, Rarity sighed and looked back up at her.
"And what of Princess Luna? What is to happen to her?"
"It will be a difficult adjustment," Celestia admitted. "She has much she feels she needs to atone for, but I am hopeful that with time she can rule beside me once again. I feel she had as little control of her actions as you did."
"If so, then she had a lot of control." Rarity laid back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "I could have chosen to defy her at any moment. I could have thrown down my knife and told her to go to Tartarus whenever I wanted to."
"But she would have killed both Sweetie Belle and yourself, then carried out the kills she ordered you to do anyway," Celestia countered.
"It would have been more difficult for her. Besides, would that have been such a terrible thing? I'd be in Paradise with my friends and family. Not lying here with only the memory of the look of agony on my sister's face to keep me company. Was Sweetie Belle's life more important than those I took? No, it wasn't. I took the coward's route, but she died anyway." Rarity looked back at Celestia and glared. "Nightmare Moon said that any ruler's first two acts should be one of kindness, and one of cruelty so that their subjects would know that they are capable of both. I assume that how you are handling Luna's situation will be your act of kindness. Am I your act of cruelty?"
Celestia's eyes widened. "No, you are not! I do not believe in cruelty. I believe it would have been cruel to let you bleed out on the floor next to your sister's body."
"Then you know nothing about what I've endured," Rarity said bitterly. When an old dog spends every waking moment in pain and fear, you don't extend its life so that it can feel that longer. You put it down to remove its misery. Letting me die would have put me out of my misery." Rarity extended her good foreleg, showing Celestia the criss-crossing scars that marred the white fur. "Does it look to you like I was happy? Do I seem like somepony capable of moving on?"
"Rarity, I..." Celestia sighed and bowed her head. "I made my choice. I couldn't stand to just let you bleed out, not when I'd already seen so much death mere moments before. Several good, loyal ponies died fighting for me that day. Dozens more brainwashed, threatened, scared ponies died fighting for my sister because they believed it was their only option."
"Not all of them," Rarity growled. "I served with those ponies for five years. Tyrants will always attract sadists. I was merely the best at it."
"I... see." Celestia's gaze flicked back up to Rarity. "So what do you wish for me to do with you now?"
"Honestly?" Rarity sat back up in bed and stared Celestia straight in the eye. "Just let me die. Return my knife to me and... I suppose I'll just go out into the Everfree Forest. I'll die, the predators will eat my corpse, and I can be forgotten by history while I burn in Tartarus. Unless, of course, you plan on publicly executing me to give the ponies who suffered under Nightmare Moon's rule some measure of revenge."
"Rarity, I cannot do that! Your life is precious, and even though--"
"My life is worth nothing!" Rarity snapped. "If you do not provide me with a way to bring about my death or simply perform my execution yourself, I will spend the rest of my days trying to bring it about myself. I will find something sharp, I will twist my bedsheets into a noose, I will find an open window, I will kill myself, Celestia, is that clear? Or are you planning on putting me in a straitjacket in some cell monitored by guards for the rest of my days? Whichever option you choose, my life is over. I will not merely try to re-adjust to life here. I... I simply can't."
"Oh Rarity..." Celestia took a deep, shaky breath and wiped her eyes with a wing. "I'm so sorry. I will do whatever I can to help you. I--"
"Then bring. Me. My. Knife. Let me at least go out with some kind of dignity, not that I deserve it."
"I..." Celestia shook her head. "I cannot do that. What happened to you was not fair. Your actions were not your own. I know the kind of mare you were before all of this. You would have never chosen to follow Nightmare Moon if she hadn't threatened Sweetie Belle first. I cannot simply let you die." Celestia desperately reached a hoof out to Rarity. "Let me help you."
"I have already stated how you can best help me."
Celestia stood up and walked closer to Rarity. "All life is precious, Rarity. I know that your life can never go back to what it was. None of our lives can. But not all is lost." Celestia extended her hoof again. "I ask again: let me help you. I will do everything in my power to make sure that you have as happy of a life as I can give you. I will work myself to the bone to ease the pain you are feeling. I--"
Rarity shot forward and slammed her hoof into Celestia's neck. The sudden weight of Rarity sent Celestia tumbling back, and she let out a cry that was more shock than pain. Wasting no time, Rarity landed on Celestia and began slamming her hooves into every part she could reach. She knew she couldn't do any real damage, but that wasn't her goal anyway.
The door to her room burst open, and two guards armed with spears rushed in. They cried out in shock when they saw Rarity hitting Celestia, and one charged forward, knocking Rarity away. He raised his spear and was just about to thrust it downward into Rarity's neck when it became encased in a golden aura.
"Sergeant, no!" Celestia cried, tearing the spear out of his grasp. "She... she didn't truly intend to hurt me."
"Oh, but that's where you are wrong, Celestia," Rarity said, a manic grin spreading across her face. "I am still loyal to the one true queen of Equestria! Unless you put me down first, I won't rest until I'm standing in a pool of your blood!" Rarity turned her grin to the guards, causing them to flinch back. "And that goes for you two as well. You and your wives and your foals and mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters! I will kill all of them to restore my queen to her throne!" Rarity shot to her hooves. "Tell them all. Tell everypony that you meet that I'll come for them in the night. You'll nestle into your pillows, expecting sleep to take you peacefully. But I'll be there, and what happens next will be anything but peaceful."
"Monster," one of the guards whispered, taking a step back and pointing his spear at Rarity.
"Rarity, that is enough!" Celestia commanded. "I know what you are trying to do, and I will not allow it!"
Rarity shrugged and went back to her bed. "Perhaps I wasn't truthful about restoring Nightmare Moon, but the rest..." She grinned at the guards again. "Just wait until I get my hooves on my knife again. I miss its touch."
Celestia glared at Rarity, then turned to her guards. "Leave us."
"But Princess Celestia, what if--"
"I am in no danger, and neither are you. Leave us." The two guards bowed and left the room, leaving Celestia and Rarity alone once more. "Rarity, there was no need for that. I can help you if you'll just let me." Rarity didn't respond. She merely turned her back on Celestia and stared at the wall. After a few moments, Celestia sighed. "Very well. We shall speak more on this later."
With that, Celestia left the room. After waiting a few minutes, Rarity raised her head and looked at the door as if expecting Celestia to walk through again.
"So close," she muttered to herself.
* * * *
Rarity awoke some time later to the sound of her door opening. She inwardly sighed and sat up. "Celestia, I told you--"
Her eyes instantly widened when she saw who had entered her room. Instead of Celestia, a blue alicorn, barely larger than Rarity herself, stood before her bed. She merely stared at Rarity, but beneath the passive expression Rarity saw pain that even she couldn't fathom. Rarity blinked in surprise and she slid off of the bed.
"P-Princess Luna?"
Luna shook her head. "No. I do not deserve that title. Especially not to you. I..." Luna took a shaky breath in and her gaze trailed to the floor.
"What are they saying about me?" Rarity asked, taking a tentative step toward Luna.
"They are demanding your execution after your attack on my sister and your threats to commit more murder if you are ever free," Luna muttered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I do not know what will come of that." Luna's jaw began wobbling, and her shoulders began convulsing. "I... I..."
Before Rarity could say anything else, Luna threw herself at Rarity's hooves, her sobs filling the room. Rarity raised her hoof to take a step backwards, but Luna grabbed on to her second foreleg and held it close.
"F-forgive me!" Luna moaned. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I kn-know th-that I can never undo the things I have done; what I made you do to your family and friends. I'm sorry I k-killed your sister! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!"
Rarity stared at Luna, whose sobs had grown powerful enough that she couldn't even speak anymore. She gently set her hoof down and sat down in front of Luna. A flash of hatred coursed through her, and she briefly wondered if she would have more success crushing Luna's throat if she attacked. Part of her felt that Luna might not even fight back. The anger and hatred was almost instantly replaced by pity. Rarity took a deep breath and put her hoof on Luna's shoulder.
"There is one thing you can do for me."
Luna shot into a sitting position, her eyes wide. "Name it."
"Bring me my knife." Rarity looked to the window, just out of her reach. "I can't do this anymore. Your sister refuses to help me. She wants only to keep me alive. Bring me my knife, and..." Rarity looked back to Luna. "Let me be with my sister and parents again."
Luna blinked a few times, too shocked to even cry. After a minute of silence, she slowly began nodding. "I suppose if I can show you one kindness after the years of torture I made you endure..." Luna nodded again and got to her hooves. "I will help you."
"If you do, consider your debt to me paid."
Luna shook her head. "No, dear Rarity. Nothing I will do from now until the end of all things will ever do that. I would spend that eternity trying, but I cannot. If this one small kindness is the best I can do, then I will do it." Luna lowered her head. "I do not think I shall resume my position as princess. I shall limit myself to caring for my moon. It is my wish that Equestria forgets about me. As I cannot make things right with you, nor can I erase the pain I caused them."
"Perhaps, but the difference between you and me is that you have the time to make things right with them. Their lives can improve. They can move on from this. I cannot."
"We shall see." Luna made her way to the door, stopping just before she reached it. "It is nearly dinnertime. I shall have something brought to you."
Rarity frowned. "You don't have to do that."
Luna looked back at Rarity. "I wouldn't be so quick to say that. I said I wished to bestow upon you one kindness. I shall do that."
* * * *
One hour later, Rarity's door opened again. She slid out of her bed and saw Luna standing in her doorway, a tray floating next to her. The ponies guarding Rarity's room had a dazed, glassy expression, and they stared ahead as if they didn't even know Luna was beside them. Rarity nodded and took the tray from Luna, who returned the nod and shut the door behind her.
Rarity set the tray down on the ground and took the top off. She saw only a plate of toast, eggs and a single cupcake.
Right alongside her knife.
Perhaps Luna wanted to give her one last meal.
Rarity ignored the food. She didn't deserve it. She merely reached out and picked up her knife. She shuddered when she touched the hilt with her hoof. It was like hugging an old friend again. She transferred it to her mouth so she could move around, then made her way to the bathroom. With any luck, they wouldn't be able to stop her. She turned on the hot water and waited for the bathtub to fill up before sliding into the tub. The water felt like it would burn her skin, but she didn't focus on that. She merely submerged her body to the neck before slowly raising one foreleg. She watched the water drip off of her foreleg before taking the knife in the crook of her foreleg and lifting the knife into the air.
With a smile of contentment, Rarity leaned her head against the back wall and brought the knife to her throat.