My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic -- Off The Record

by The King of Hearts


An Odd Request

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An Odd Request
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Alex and Dash, after several minutes of walking, finally reached Sweet Apple Acres, and found a lovely spot to hide, where they could watch the action without running the risk of being seen by the past versions of Applejack or Dash.

“We’re a little far back, don’t you think?” Alex asked, squinting toward the barn, “I think we could get a little closer and still be safe.”

“I didn’t see her right at the barn,” Dash said, as she looked to the sky and squinted, “We were a lot closer to where we are now.”

Alex followed her gaze and frowned.

“What are you looking at?” He asked, moving his head around to try and get an angle on the part of the sky she was looking at.

“I’m just making sure we’re on time,” She responded, shrugging the magic sucker from her back, “We’re a bit early.”

“How does the sky tell you that? Did you track the position of the moon and the sun or something?” He asked, laughing a bit to himself as she gave him a quick glare.

“No, a bunch of pegasi flew by and sorta hung around for a few minutes,” She responded, “And I know it was darker than this when they flew by.”

“Oh…” Alex coughed, feeling a bit silly.

“Anyway,” She offered, deciding to move the conversation on, “Why don’t we take this quiet time to work on the wedding plans?”

“You don’t need to ask me,” he said, looking to her with a grin, “Whatever makes you happy is just fine with me. All I ask for, is something good to eat while I’m there… Maybe some steak, hotdogs… or even some hot wings!”

“How wings?” She asked, flaring her wings and raising an eyebrow, “These not hot enough for you?”

“Well, they’re not that kind of wing,” he laughed, “Well… they kinda are. They’re chicken wings. Not horse wings.”

“You eat chicken wings too?!” Dash asked, her eyes expanding to at least four or five times their original size, “How did I end up as the only mare in Equestria dating a monster…”

“That’s not true!” Alex laughed, “Just look at Spike! He’s a- well, was a dragon! I’ll bet if you threw around some butchered pony meat, he’d go crazy for it.”

“I think you’d find that he eats plenty alr—“

“Whatcha two talkin’ about?” A happy voice chirped from behind them, causing the two of them to jump almost out of their seats.

“Pinkie?” Dash asked, turning around to face the mare. However, she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Uh… that was defs Pinkie,” Alex muttered, as she frowned at him.

“Did you just say defs?” She asked.

“N-never mind,” He blushed, looking away from her back to the trees.

“It’s okay Alex. I think it’s cool to say defs!” The voice rang out once again from somewhere in front of the two.

“I don’t like this.” The cyan mare muttered, scanning the trees around them for any sign of their friend.

“Hey Dash… what’s casting that shadow over there?” He asked, pointing to the dark blur in a seemingly clear patch, where there shouldn’t have been any darkness whatsoever.

“Well, nopony can say you have poor eyesight at least.” The peppy voice chuckled, as two blue eyes opened in the darkness.

Neither of the two had anything to say to the mare.

“It’s funny… when I look at you two, you seem so old!” She giggled, as one leg stepped out of her shadow.

The two looked to one another, before looking back to the shadow.

“Old?” Alex asked.

“Well, not that old,” She chuckled, “But I can smell it on you. You’re almost two hours ahead of the rest of us.”

The two gulped simultaneously.

“Would you mind filling me in on something, Dashie?” Pinkie(?) asked, as her head came out from the dark bubble encompassing her, “Why didn’t you and I ever take it further?”

The mare that came out of the bubble wasn’t exactly the one they were expecting. Not only was she oddly confident, but her mane wasn’t the usual puffy mess that everypony was used to. Her hair had been curled along the top perfectly, and pink ringlets ran down her neck, and past her shoulders.

Her coat had been combed along every inch of her body, and her face seemed to have been trimmed in such a skillful way, that her features were sharpened. And, along with all of this, she wore a confident smile, and a truly enticing look in her eyes.

“Wow.” Both Dash and Alex said at the same time to the shockingly beautiful mare.

“Well?” She asked, walking toward them with her chest lightly pushed out, in a way they would have expected to see Rarity compose herself.

“Uh, sorry, what was the question?” The pegasi asked, her gaze still affixed by the perfect face presented to her.

“Why didn’t you and I ever go beyond what we had?” She asked, closing the distance between them, as she approached Dash.

“Beyond?” she asked, “Beyond what?”

Walking up to her friend, Pinkie slowly leaned forward, as if to whisper something in her ear. But, instead of whispering, she suddenly reached upward, and lightly bit Dash’s ear.

The sound she made as Pinkie’s teeth contacted her ear was one that all of them had heard before.

“W-what are you doing?!” Dash asked frantically, jumping back, expecting to hit Alex, however, she fell flat on the ground, “Alex? Where did you go?!”

Looking over his shoulder, Alex blinked rapidly.

“I, uh, was gonna watch you two from the bushes over here…” He coughed, “Really! Don’t mind me at all! You two have fun!”

Before he could take another step, he had been lifted off the ground, levitated backward, and dropped next to his fiancé, by a black aura emanating from the wings of his blue mare.

“Sorry Alex,” Pinkie shrugged, taking a step away from the mare she had just licked, “I was game.”

“What the heck is going on with you?!” Dash shouted, before realizing that she needed to be silent, to avoid her past self hearing her, “Why are you coming on to me like this? We stopped fooling around a long time ago!”

“I think the question is- why haven’t you been coming on to me?” She returned.

“I’m with Pinkie on this one.” Alex agreed, “I think you two- or heck- all three of us! We should—“

Glancing confidently toward Dash, and looking in to her eyes, no words needed to be exchanged between them. He knew just what she was thinking.

’Alex, I swear to Celestia if you don’t shut your damn pie-hole I’ll shove my hoof so far up your as-‘

“I… will shut up.” He said, taking a single step away from them.

Pinkie giggled, before continuing again.

“Dashie, come on! After everything you and I did together? You loved it just as much as I did!” She said, tilting her head, causing her hair to fall to the other side of her face.

“Pinkie…” She responded quietly, “You and I agreed that it was time for us to move on from that… we were hanging out with Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity! It felt weird to be fooling around behind their backs…”

“Well... maybe you’re right,” She conceded, “But, would I never felt as close to you as I did then. I guess I miss it.”

Dash wasn’t sure how to respond to her. The sudden expulsion of affliction had somewhat clouded mind from asking some questions that were perhaps more important.

“Well, what about you, Alex?” The pink mare asked, “I always thought you were really cute.”

“What’s with you?” Alex laughed, “If you’re looking to get laid, go ask like- any guy in town!”

“It’s gotta be you two. Or maybe Spike and Rarity…” She muttered in response.

“Why?” Both of them asked at the same time, flabbergasted by her odd desire.

She didn’t answer.

Turning around to face away from them, she looked in the sky.

"There’s your flying friends.” She said, “That means it’s time for me to interrupt you and AJ.”

“Pinkie- wait!” Dash called, as the mare was enveloped into darkness once again.

She was gone long before either of them could have reached her.

“Well, I guess that’s Pinkie’s dark side.” Alex blinked.

Dash didn't answer right away as she looked up at the sky. She had been right.

“But… shouldn’t she be a little sadder?” She finally asked, looking at him with a small frown, “Wasn't her dark side supposed to be sad, er- Sorrow?”

“I think so.” He nodded, “That’s what Discord said, anyway.”

Standing up, Dash returned to their original position with Alex in tow, overlooking the barn at Sweet Apple Acres.

“So, I guess that means that she’s the one that messed with Applejack.” Alex said.

“But why?” Dash asked, “What would her dark side get from driving a wedge between us?”

“The vibe I was getting, sorta felt like she wanted more attention,” He responded, scratching the back of his head, "But could only understand it in the context of sex."

“I mean, if I wasn’t friends with AJ anymore, I guess I’d spend more time with Pinkie by default,” Dash reasoned, “But, is that really her endgame? Break up my friends, so she can bang me?”

“Honestly, I’d rather just see it all play out, rather than debate on it for an hour.” He shrugged, “Not trying to be a dick, but everything we say is little more than a guess. We should see how things play out, and save our time.”

“Fair enough,” Dash nodded, “We should just- oh, shh! I see me!”

Following her gaze, Alex watched as the past version of Rainbow Dash entered the area, and headed for the barn.

"Here we go!" She muttered.

“You know, while we’re on the topic of- well- a third party…” Alex said, coughing obviously, “We could just go grab that version of you over there, and have a good time with her.”

Dash smiled at the joke.

“I don’t think we’d be very successful at explaining that one to The Doctor.” She giggled.

“He’s a stallion.” Alex nodded confidently, “I’m pretty sure he’d just be jealous that he hadn’t thought of it first.”

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