Fourteen - Talk
Earlier
Discord’s Carpet Express dumped Sunset groaning on her face after a hundred yards of rolling. She was going to give him a stern word once her head stopped feeling like it had been in a washing machine.
“Do get up, Sunny,” Discord drawled, his face sneering down at her as she lay sprawled on the ground.
“Don’t call me that.”
He huffed. “There’s just no pleasing you, is there?”
“You’re insufferable.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere.”
Sunset picked herself up and looked around the corridor. Unsurprisingly, there was more cave. One stalactite-lined entryway led into a ball pit that seemed to stretch on forever, and one led into an apartment-sized kitchenette; all the other paths had closed doors of various material, style, color, and purpose.
“Where even are we?” Sunset asked.
“Oh, I’d love to give you the tour,” Discord said, “but we don’t have time.”
“This mysterious ‘thing’ you have to show me must be real important.”
“I meant you wouldn’t live long enough to get through it,” Discord clarified, leading her farther down the hall.
“Oh,” Sunset said dumbly. She coughed. “But, like, where are we in Equestria? Where’s the exit?”
“The thick of the Whitetail Woods, and you’ll find it if you need to. Don’t worry, Chrysalis can’t get to us as long as I’m around.”
So they were close to Ponyville. That was good; they wouldn’t have to go far to get to the Castle of Friendship.
Discord stopped in front of a plain green door set into the cave wall. A snap later, it was open. “Ready to meet my army?”
Sunset raised an eyebrow and walked into the room. It looked to be a lounge of some kind, with nearly a dozen couches thrown about, and various ponies lounging in them. She recognized many of them from Canterlot High, both students and teachers (though they all seemed to be adults in this world).
“This is your army? Do they even know how to fight?” Her eyes wandered skeptically over the twenty-five or so ponies.
“I’d like to see you do better without Chrysalis noticing,” Discord snapped. “And they’re all residents of Ponyville, the most chaotic town in Equestria. I would know. They’re certainly better prepared than those friends of yours.”
On one far couch, nestled into the corner of the cavern, Sunset noticed a brown earth stallion fiddling with some rainbow-colored… well, they looked like flowers, but he was using a screwdriver on them, so that probably wasn’t the case. Three mares on another couch were crying over a wilting potted plant (like it could survive in a cave), and Sunset’s eyes rolled over them as one thrust her wailing head into a throw pillow. A frighteningly muscular white pegasus stallion—it could only be Bulk Biceps—was lifting a huge discord-themed dumbbell, grunting like Sunset had never heard anypony grunt before; a smartly dressed couple sat on one couch, quietly gossipping to one another, no doubt about the peasantry in their midst; and, on a couch pressed against the far wall, pony versions of Lyra and Bon Bon leaned against one another, whispering.
“Did you tell them about the plan?”
“Don’t call it a plan. I don’t do plans. It’s a strategy.”
“Answer the question.”
Discord sighed. “I was getting there. No, I didn’t tell them, but they know I’m not just here to sit back and watch the show, and I think they think I have a plan. Which I don’t, by the way. Some of them are pretty bitter about the whole takeover thing, though. I’m sure if they saw your friends, they wouldn’t hesitate to bust out the pitchforks and torches.” He smiled coyly.
Sunset gave him a warning glance. “Don’t get any ideas.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Sunset, deciding that talking to Discord was only a downward spiral, stepped forward and cleared her throat. A few ponies turned, a few didn’t. “Hello everypony. I’m Sunset Shimmer, former student of Princess Celestia and current student of Princess Twilight Sparkle. I’ve come to help deal with Chrysalis. Discord and I are planning to break out the Elements of Harmony that are being held captive inside Friendship Castle. I know you all want to see Chrysalis fall as much as I do, so if you can fight, we could really use your help.”
“YEEEAAAAH!” Bellowed Bulk Biceps, his voice dripping with masculinity, his arms flexed and nearly ready to burst. “BRING IT ON, CHANGELINGS! WE’RE TAKING YOU DOOOOOWN!”
Everypony in the room was now watching with rapt attention, and a few started cheering and whooping. Sunset smiled smugly at Discord, who rolled his eyes.
“I’ll help!” called out a pink unicorn with three perfect-cut diamonds on her flank. “I studied at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns!”
“Let’s do this!” A pegasus mare—she looked a bit like Cloud Kicker—exclaimed.
“Ugh, why bother?” Lyra Heartstrings droned from her couch.
“I’d love to help!” Bon Bon chirped, next to her.
Lyra blinked once, and then smiled sweetly at the other mare. “Well, I go wherever you go, Bonny. I guess I’ll come too.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet, Ly!”
They then started passionately making out. Sunset hastily averted her eyes and tried her best to ignore the moans and ragged breathing.
“Um, excuse me, miss, but I do believe I have something that may help you.” Sunset turned her head to the brown earth stallion. Now that he was standing, she could see his cutie mark; an hourglass. He had a basket of the rainbow flower things on his back. “See, I engineered these flameless fireworks as a sort of side-project of mine—it was a great puzzle to find a way to ignite an explosion with an alternative energy source! I managed to get them to work, but, quite unfortunately, I didn’t know what the trigger was!” He paused to give a nervous chuckle. “But then, at a wedding a while back, Derpy—a sweet mare, truly, but a bit, well, empty at times—decided to use them as flowers. Volatile explosives as flowers! What in Equestria was she thinking? Though, in her defense, she was in a tad of a rush; see, the invitations to the wedding had been—”
Sunset, whose patience had run out a few clauses back, cut in: “Get to the point.”
“Right, right, sorry, I can get a bit sidetracked sometimes. Nopony’s perfect! Ah, I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Today is simply not my day for conversation, it would seem. My sincerest apologies.”
Sunset’s teeth dulled as she squeezed her mouth shut in restraint.
“But no matter! The moral of the story, as they say, is that the fireworks took love to ignite! And, as our… eccentric host mentioned to us a while back, in his own roundabout way, these ‘changelings’ are simply brimming with stolen love! So I thought, in a fit of pure inspiration, what if, instead of simply fireworks, I engineered them into full-on bombs? Sadly, due to some of our company”—he shot a grimace towards where Lyra and Bon Bon had stolen second base—“my first few attempts proved to be a bit sensitive. My mane used to be at least two inches longer.”
“Cool, cool,” Sunset wedged in as soon as she got the chance. “Do they work now?”
“By all my calculations, yes! It was truly one of—”
“Great! See you around, Science Stallion.” Sunset grabbed the basket of love grenades from the stallion with her magic and spoke out to the crowd before he could say anything else. “If you want to help, get whatever you need and be ready to head out in ten minutes; I’ll explain the plan then. Or maybe Discord will if he feels helpful.” Fat chance. “I need to quick tell my friends what’s going on, and then we attack. The changelings won’t know what hit ‘em!”
She got a few shouts and hollers from the crowd, and some awkward shuffling from those who would rather just stay in the cave, thanks.
On her way out, Discord’s face appeared on the door. “Since when are you in charge?” he asked bitterly.
“You do your part, I do mine,” Sunset said as she trotted out into the hallway, radiating smugness.
A second later, her head popped back into view. “Which way is it again?”
Discord rolled his eyes, and in three directions at once, too, because he could.
No Longer Earlier
“What did you girls do?” Sunset asked, surveying the carnage of the cavern.
Rarity smiled apprehensively, and clambered onto her hooves. Her coat was looking more gray than white, and tiny bits of stone rolled off her back. “We were just practicing, that’s all.”
“I don’t think blowing yourself up qualifies as practice! Magic is powerful; you shouldn’t be using it without knowing what you’re doing! Remember the Friendship Games?”
“We’re sorry, Sunset,” Pinkie said. “It’s just so exciting to have these new powers!”
“More like creepy,” Applejack grumbled.
Rainbow Dash flapped over to Sunset. She was actually rather impressed with her control. “Sunset!” she yelled, “Why didn’t you tell me I could fly!?”
“Maybe I didn’t want you crashing muzzle first into a cave wall.” Sunset gestured to the cracks where the explosion had launched Rainbow. “You may have a natural talent for flying, but that doesn’t mean you’re perfect at it just yet.” She levitated a few of Rainbow’s feathers in between their faces. “Looks to me like you already had an accident.”
“I—it—that was all Rarity’s fault!”
“Pft! Excuse me, Rainbow Dash, but I had my minor slip up completely under control until someone flew into me!”
Fluttershy marveled at Sunset’s magic as they argued. “Sunset, are you doing that?”
“This?” Sunset twirled the feathers in a loop.
Fluttershy nodded.
“Yeah. Levitation is one of the first spells unicorns learn, and pretty much the only one that almost all adult unicorns know. It’s the base spell of the school of Manipulation, which comes naturally because of the way our horns use magic. I could go into the specifics, but I think that may be a bit over your head. With a bit of practice, it’s as easy as walking.”
“Seems mighty useful,” Applejack commented.
“Ooh! Ooh! What else can you do?” Pinkie was bouncing up and down beside her, eyes wide with interest. Sunset conjured a cupcake into her mouth.
“Mm! Mratss Gwwd!”
“I’m not here to talk about magic, though. Discord and I and a few others that Discord rounded up are going to go storm Twilight’s castle—that’s where the mirror should be, and where Chrysalis probably is.”
“Aw, sweet!” Rainbow pumped a hoof in the air. “I was worried you were gunna keep us in this boring old cave forever!”
“You’re not coming,” Sunset stated, to a chorus of ‘WHAT?!’s.
“Are you SERIOUS!? Grrurrgg! So not awesome, dude!”
“Mmm! Mm-mm mm!”
“That’s, um, fine with me, actually.”
“Sunset, dear with all due respect…”
“Sunset, we’re yer friends. We ain’t gunna just sit by while you fight for yer life!”
Sunset stood her ground. “Sorry, but you girls just aren’t ready to fight in your new bodies. You’d only be a liability.”
“Bullshit!” Rainbow yelled.
“I’m not kidding around here, Rainbow!” Sunset shot back. “If you come, you could easily be killed, and it’s not like you can fight! Magic’s much more powerful over here, but you don’t know how to use it, and they do. You’ll have a hole through your barrel before Chrysalis has time for a belittling chuckle!”
“But—but—but—”
Sunset softened a little. “Look, I know you want to help, and you will, but not right now. Right now, you need to learn how to be a pony. Practice galloping, bucking, flying, magic, whatever you need to. Just… be a bit more careful this time. When you’re ready, then you can help.”
“Sunset’s right,” Fluttershy said, with uncharacteristic forcefulness. “We’d just get in the way. Let her go.”
“Ah suppose you’re right, ‘Shy. Don’t worry ‘bout us, Sunset.”
“Teach those brutes a lesson or two!” Rarity shouted.
Pinkie finally swallowed her cupcake. “Yeah! Go Sunset! WOOO!”
“Thanks, girls. See you all soon.” Sunset turned, and left.
Rainbow’s glare trailed after her like a shadow, and the pegasus huffed, ruffling her wings. “She better not die.”
When Sunset returned to the lounge (after not a small amount of wrong doors; why did Discord keep a cactus garden?), she was greeted by a platoon of colorful ponies, most of them armed. The Ponyvilleans made for a rather odd motley of fighters; the sciency pony, who Sunset had learned was named Time Turner, was looking as if he were already face to face with Chrysalis herself. He stood next to Bulk Biceps like a mouse stands next to an elephant—Bulk was flexing and yelling crass encouragement as usual, occasionally squishing the ponies around him in spine-cracking hugs. Lyra and Bon Bon were nuzzling each other and whispering under their breath, and though Sunset was unable to hear what they were saying, the pegasus next to them was blushing more than Fluttershy had when she had walked in on Rainbow during one of Pinkie’s sleepovers. The others were less notable, but could easily be separated into three categories: the ones that looked like they were on death row, the ones that looked like they were about to personally rip off the head of every changeling they saw and then eat it, and the ones who looked like it was Hearth’s Warming and the biggest present under the tree was made out to them.
And at the head of the crowd, dressed in a general’s uniform and holding a civil war era musket, Discord stood.
“Did you explain the plan?”
“I explained the strategy, Sunny. How many times must we go over this?”
“I think you’re just embarrassed that you, the Lord of Chaos himself, care about your friends so much that you made an organized, well thought out, and practical plan.”
Discord eyes widened and he leaned close to Sunset. “Keep your voice down! I have a reputation to uphold, you know. Besides, that’s blasphemy! My strategy relies on chaos!”
Sunset smiled. It was a sure, whatever you say sort of smile. “So are we going or not?”
Discord scowled, turned Sunset’s coat hot pink, and led the way out of his hideout.