//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: Chaos Engulfs Ponyville Act 2 // by RarityFigma //------------------------------// Twilight awoke to feel metal bars around her. Her hooves were all locked into place. She tried to use her horn to light the room, but found that it too was held by some harness preventing her magic. She heard a sinister voice from the shadows. “You’re awake huh? About time, I was getting really bored waiting.” The lights flew on and Twilight saw that she was strapped to a metal table. Her limbs and horn were all held in place by hardened material. The unicorn struggled only to find movement impossible. Twilight in her haste to escape almost ignored the eyesore of a room she was in. It was the lamest nightmare night attraction she had ever seen. There were balloons shaped like kidneys. Tables made of bones. Hell there was even a banner saying Life is a Party written in red paint. Twilight finally focused her attention on Pinkie. Her pink friend was clad in a quilt with random symbols stitched together. Around her neck was a necklace of weird mutli-colored cones. Pinkie had an insane look on her face as she strolled over to Twilight and drew an “X” on her chest in red marker. “Pinkie what is all this?” Twilight asked more annoyed than scared. Pinkie chuckled. “Well Twilight I told you I needed your help making cupcakes.” Twilight pouted. “How does tying me up help you make cupcakes?” Pinkie pulled out the katana from earlier. “Well Twilight I’m going to make cupcakes out of you.” Pinkie cackled after saying this, but Twilight remained solemn. “Ok Pinkie,” Twilight said. “I know I trapped you on the moon. But isn’t turning me into cupcakes a little harsh?” “Nope,” Pinkie answered. “And call me Pinkamina will you.” Twilight let out a sigh. “Ok….Pinkamina. I’m really sorry about trapping you on the moon. Please let me go.” Pinkamina stood on her back legs as she slashed the air with her katana. “Sorry Twilight. I’m afraid this is the end for you. The only question is.” Pinkie held the sword over Twilight’s chest. “How long will you last?” Twilight closed her eyes in terror. Pinkamina prepared to swing the sword when suddenly the door to the basement burst open. Both ponies looked up in confusion to see Rainbow Dash. The blue yet slightly chubbier than usual mare flew down and glared at Pinkamina. The pink earth pony let out a sigh. Twilight squeed. “Rainbow Dash you’re here to save me!” Rainbow Dash looked serious. She continued to have a staring contest with Pinkamina until the boredom got to her. “I heard you had cupcakes.” Rainbow said. “There not ready yet,” Pinkamina moaned. “You’re kinda getting in my way actually.” “Rainbow Dash she’s trying to kill me!” Twilight screamed. Rainbow Dash raised a hoof to Twilight. “Not now Twi. So Pinkie.” “Pinkamina,” the annoyed sword wielder interrupted. “Pink-whatever,” Dash shot back. “I want some cupcakes.” “Then why don’t you take a seat right over there?” Pinkamina pointed at a nearby bone table. “And let me finish working here?” “I want em free,” Rainbow Dash said. “What?!” Pinkamina screamed. “You heard me,” the plump pegasus said. “I want free cupcakes.” Twilight grew panicked. “Umm Rainbow Dash. You know I’m on the menu right?!” Rainbow Dash shot Twilight an annoyed glare. “Well Twilight, maybe you should’ve thought about that before dragging a certain somepony into that fusion junk!” Twilight grew annoyed now. “You’re kidding me. That’s what you’re mad about!” Rainbow Dash shook her hooves in fury. “You didn’t have my permission to do that Twilight! It was totally uncool!” “You liked it and you know it!” Twilight shouted angrily. “So anyway,” Dash said returning her gaze to Pinkamina. “Free cupcakes?” “No fucking way,” Pinkamina roared. “I run a business for Celestia’s sake! I can’t turn a profit if I just give away food!” Twilight grew despondent as it finally sunk in that her friends were arguing over selling her as food. “Look I’m broke since the cotton candy sky made me lose my job,” Rainbow Dash whined. “Besides I know your little secret now. So you owe me free cupcakes you psycho.” Pinkamina clenched her teeth. “Nopony will believe you over me!” “Oh please, the whole town thinks you’re crazy,” Dash answered. “So what,” Pinkamina said. “At least I didn’t eat my job away!” “Just give me free cupcakes darn it,” Dash growled. Pinkamina put her katana down and raised her hoof to her cheek. “Hmm. How about half price?” “Half price?” Rainbow Dash groaned. “How about 99% off?” Dash smiled, but Pinkamina grimaced. “That’s the same as free and NO!” Pinkamina yelled. “You’re horrible at negotiations,” Rainbow Dash said pouting. “Well you’re horrible at being pleasant to negotiate with!” Pinkamina shouted back. Dash stuck her tongue out at the insane pink mare. Pinkamina facehoofed. “Ok ok, how about one free cupcake and very other one is 75% off.” Rainbow Dash’s face lit up. “Now your talkin! Deal!” Pinkamina pushed Rainbow Dash over to a corner. “Good now wait here damnit.” Pinkamina grabbed the katana and walked back over to Twilight. “Sorry about that Twi. It’s usually a lot more. You know professional in here.” “I don’t mind,” Twilight answered. “But can you just get on with it already.” “Oh so you’re giving up so soon,” Pinkamina asked. “Yeah well,” Twilight began. “When you’re friends have spent the day failing you, threatening you and ultimately trying to kill you, it’s a pretty big spirit breaker.” “I’m playing you a sad song on my violin Twi,” Rainbow Dash said. “Oh be quiet,” Twilight growled. “Look could you please kill me Pinkamina. This day has been torturous enough.” Pinkamina grew gleeful. “Well worry not Twi!” She again held up the katana. “I’ll end you quickly!” Pinkamina lifted the sword over Twilight’s chest. The only sound in the dreary basement was Rainbow Dash licking cotton candy from her hooves. Pinkamina mentally aligned the sword to the “X” she drew. The pink mare pulled back about to swing. When the door which was burst open by Rainbow Dash, but had magically reclosed was again burst open. All the ponies looked up to see an orange unicorn wearing glasses. The unicorn was male with a bizarre cutie mark that looked like a toy pony. In his hooves was a small shiny metal rectangle. “Worry not Twilight Sparkle,” the new pony cried. “I’ll save you!” Pinkamina turned to Rainbow Dash. “Get rid of him and you get two frees cupcakes.” Rainbow Dash gave a look of shock and awe before quickly turning serious. “Three free cupcakes.” Pinkamina facehoofed again. “This is not the time for business ok. Just destroy that guy!” Rainbow Dash sat with her hooves crossed. Pinkamina sighed in annoyance. “Fine three free cupcakes. Now kill that guy ok.” Dash did a loop in excitement. “I’m on it!” She flew up, grabbed the new unicorn in her hooves and took off creating a hole in the bakery’s roof. Pinkamina surveyed the property damage. “Well that’s coming out of my paycheck,” she groaned. Pinkamina then refocused on Twilight. “So where were we?” Twilight rolled her eyes. “You were about to kill me quickly so I can finally get out of this farce.” “Oh yeah,” Pinkamina picked up her katana. “Sorry about that.” The pink pony realigned the sword and was about to swing when Rainbow Dash flew back into the room. “I got rid of him like you said,” the pegasus cheered. Pinkamina turned again from Twilight. “Yeah yeah good job. Who was that guy anyway?” “I don’t know Rainbow Dash said. “He just complained about being the author or something and how I was ruining his chance to save the day.” Pinkamina grew tense. “Did you say….the author?” “Yeah why?” Dash answered. “What did you do to him?” Pinkamina asked with worry. “Oh, well you said to destroy him,” Rainbow Dash said. “So I threw him into the nearest active volcano.” “And what was he doing while you did this?” Pinkamina whimpered. “He was using magic to make words appear on that little metal thing in his hooves,” Rainbow Dash answered. Pinkamina looked at Dash with dismay. “Umm Rainbow Dash, surely you can see the danger in killing the author of a fic in progress can’t you?” Rainbow Dash put her hoof to her chin and began to ponder. “Hmm. Well it was a pretty big volcano. So I figure we’ve got.” Dash looked at her wrist to see that her pencil watch had magically turned real. “Hmm maybe a minute before he hits the lava.” “Fuck!” Pinkamina shouted. “That means we only have a minute before this story and everything in it ceases to progress!” Pinkamina grabbed a large cooking pot and poured in a vat of batter. “Hurry and get my oven ready!” Dash flew off to start the device. Pinkamina threw a switch unlocking Twilight. The pink pony then grabbed her and threw her into the cooking pot. Twilight stuck her head out. She was covered in batter and only her large annoyed eyes were visible. Pinkamina ran upstairs carrying the cooking pot. When she got there Rainbow Dash had already turned the oven on. “How much longer do we have?” Pinkamina asked. Dash checked her watch. “Like 10 seconds!” Pinkamina ran over to the oven and turned it up to super nova level. The oven bellowed smoke. The machine began to overheat. Pinkamina grabbed Twilight and threw her in the direction of the oven. However the unicorn was tired. She was tired of all this madness. She was tired of all this uncertainty. And most of all she was tired of this day. Twilight teleported herself behind Pinkamina and applebucked the psychotic pink pony into Rainbow Dash. The pair careened into the oven which then promptly exploded, blowing up the bakery. Twilight was thrown across town by the explosion and smashed into her tree house, which had magically returned to normal. As her senses returned Twilight saw the book she was reading before all this insanity began. The purple mare smiled as she sat down near the forgotten tome and returned to reading. And then I hit the lava and died. The End