//------------------------------// // Finding Daylight // Story: Finding Daylight // by RaylanKrios //------------------------------// Fluttershy’s cottage was a refuge, both literally and figuratively. Twilight had helped her get both the building and the surrounding area declared a registered animal sanctuary. Even though the charter didn't explicitly mention ponies Rainbow liked to think they were implicitly included. So while the cottage played host to an assortment of woodland creatures seeking food or shelter, its secluded location and accommodating host also made it the safe haven of choice for Rainbow Dash whenever she wanted to escape the world. And for the past month, she wanted little else than to curl up on Fluttershy’s sofa and pretend the outside world didn’t exist.   “How are you feeling today?” The perfunctory greeting had replaced, “Good Morning” as the first thing Rainbow heard when she woke up, usually around noon. Rainbow grunted. She was feeling much the same as she had been for the past few weeks, numb punctuated by sharp pangs of sadness and guilt. “Would you like some breakfast?” Fluttershy asked, aware that she may have well said lunch.  Her query was met with only another grunt. “Rainbow, you have to eat.” Finally, Rainbow deigned to speak, though not as a response to Fluttershy’s admonishing. “It’s been a whole month and she still doesn’t want to talk to me,” she groaned and contemplated burying her head under the pillow for the next few years. “I know. You need to give her more time,” Fluttershy said as sympathetically as possible. A less patient pony might have grown exasperated hearing the same thing everyday over the past month, but Fluttershy was the Element of Kindness for a reason. “How much more? “I don’t know,” Fluttershy replied. She said it not as a rote response but because she truly couldn’t imagine being in Rainbow’s hooves. She couldn’t imagine having a foal of her own, and she certainly couldn’t comprehend giving her up.  Even if she could wrap her mind around that reality she couldn’t possibly conceive of not telling her child who her mother was; and because she couldn’t imagine all that, she had a hard time guessing at how long it might take Scootaloo to forgive Rainbow, if she ever did. “Have you tried writing her a letter?” “I don’t do good with letters, ‘Shy. I just want her to talk to me.” “It seems like she doesn’t really feel like talking though. Writing her a letter might make you feel better,” Fluttershy said as she pushed a pen and paper toward her morose friend. Rainbow just shrugged and lazily corralled the writing implement.   Hey Squirt. How ya been? Dear Scootaloo This is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write. Scoots. I just wanted to say Rainbow stared at her third attempt and pushed the paper away with a groan. “Forget it, ‘Shy. I’m not good at this sort of thing.” If it were a month ago Fluttershy would have offered Rainbow a hug and some kind words and left it alone. But that was before her friend had taken up permanent residence on her couch. Now it was obvious that a month of Rainbow feeling sorry for herself wasn't doing either of them any good. Like all her friends, Fluttershy had some mixed emotions after finding out that Scootaloo was Rainbow’s biological daughter, and that on top of that Rainbow elected not to tell Scootaloo until a careless mistake did it for her. Nopony was particularly happy with Rainbow, but they had all afforded her some measure of forgiveness. For some of them it was the idea that though Rainbow had screwed up, it was Scootaloo she wronged. For others, the idea that you can’t judge a pony until you walked a mile in their hooves is what stayed their anger. Either way they had all come to the conclusion that the best thing they could do was to support Rainbow as best they could, while letting Scootaloo work out her emotions. Not everything was a friendship problem that required intervention. Fluttershy pushed the unfinished letter back toward Rainbow. “What do you want to tell her?” “That I’m sorry, and I never meant to hurt her and I get that she’s mad at me, but that I just want to go back to the way things were.” “I don’t think you can go back to the way things were,” Fluttershy said meekly. “Why not?!” “Because the way things were is what made her mad at you.” It was as close as Fluttershy was willing to come to criticizing her friend. “Then what do you think she wants me to say?” “I don’t know, maybe you should ask her?” With that thought firmly in place, Rainbow began to write. Scootaloo sat in her clubhouse, staring at the letter in her hooves before a familiar twang interrupted her thoughts. “You should just throw that thing away, Scoots. It ain’t like it means anything.” Sweetie Belle chimed in, very quietly. “I don’t know, Apple Bloom, maybe she deserves another chance.” “No she doesn’t,” Apple Bloom fired back. “She is her mom,” Sweetie countered softly. “No she’s not!” Apple Bloom shrieked. “Dizzy Twist is her mom, Rainbow may as well be a total stranger.” “Girls!” Scootaloo snapped. The trio had been having different versions of the same argument for a month, and her friends taking opposite sides certainly didn’t make it any easier to navigate her feelings. Apple Bloom was the first to apologize. “We’re sorry Scoots. You know we support ya, no matter what.” “That’s right,” Sweetie Belle added. “Thanks,” Scootaloo mumbled before turning her attention back to the piece of paper in her hooves. Dear Scootaloo, I don’t know what to say. I’m not really good at this but Fluttershy says that I should try anyway.  I guess what I want to say is, I’m sorry. I was young and I wasn’t ready to be a mother, that’s why I gave you up to be adopted. But I know that’s not why you’re angry at me. I couldn’t be your mother but I liked being your big sister, I didn’t want that to change. I still don’t. Tell me what I can do to make things right between us, please. Rainbow Dash Scootaloo sighed and put the letter back in her saddle bag. Reading it for the hundredth time hadn't revealed anything new and now it was growing late. “We should probably all get home.” “We don't have to Scoots, we can stick around if you need us,” Apple Bloom said. Scootaloo shrugged, for as much as she appreciated her friends patience and understanding so far their presence hadn’t provided her the clarity she was seeking.  “Thanks but it's almost dinner anyway,” she said by way of an excuse. Scootaloo didn’t say much when she got home or over dinner, continuing the pattern of the past month.  Dizzy Twist and Quick Splint, her parents, tried to be understanding, but like Fluttershy, they were beginning to get worried.   “Do you ever regret adopting me?” Scootaloo blurted out while Dizzy was tucking her into bed. Dizzy ran her hoof through her daughter's mane. “Of course not baby. The day we took you home was the best day of our lives. Why?” Scootaloo squirmed from beneath the blankets. “I never really thought about it before, but Rainbow didn't tell me and I just thought maybe being my mother wasn't really worth it.” Despite its disjointed nature, Dizzy quickly understood the heartbreaking nature of the question.  Until a month ago Scootaloo hadn’t said much about being adopted. Dizzy remembered the day she and her husband  told their daughter she was adopted.  It was a few years ago. She remembered how nervous she was, wondering if Scootaloo was old enough to handle a fact that many children found upsetting. She read countless books and articles about how, when or even if she should tell her daugher. It was a relief that Scootaloo seemed completely nonplussed by the news. Scootaloo asked a few questions about her birth parents and how the process worked and that was it. It was Scootaloo’s prior acceptance that had made this past month that much harder. Knowing her daughter had spent countless hours feeling as though she was somehow less, was a fate that Dizzy wouldn’t have wished on her worst enemy. “Oh baby. Being your mother is my favorite thing in the world.” She punctuated her remarks by tickling Scootaloo’s sides, eliciting a high pitched giggle. Scootaloo instinctively lifted her forelegs up, immediately receiving the hug she was looking for. It was the kind of loving gesture that she took for granted until a month ago. The pair held each other for just a little longer than usual and Dizzy gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead.  “Do you remember what I told you when you first found out you were adopted?” Scootaloo nodded,  “You said it didn't matter where I came from, the only thing that matters is that I'm here now.” Scootaloo’s mother noded. “That’s right.” There was a pause and neither pony said anything. “I’m sorry that you're upset right now, but I just don’t want you to forget that your father and I love you no matter what” “I know Mom,” Scootaloo said. Dizzy rubbed her daughter's head one more time and then left.  The reminder didn’t quite Scootaloo’s worries but it did allow her drift off to sleep. Scootaloo wasn’t the only pony thinking about Rainbow’s letter during bedtime, over at Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom couldn’t hide her unease.   “Something eatin at ya Bloom?” Applejack asked as Apple Bloom climbed into bed. Apple Bloom fluffed her pillow, foolishly hoping that maybe it was only a lumpy pillow causing her discomfort. “I just don't understand how you can still be friends with Rainbow.” Applejack sighed, and pulled the covers up over her sister's shoulders. “We already had this talk. Dash is my friend, Scoots is yours. Just because they're not speaking don't mean we have to fight too. “How could she not tell Scootaloo?” Apple Bloom said with a glower. “I ain't sayin I agree with her. But y’know Ma used to say the only time you can forgive someone is when you're angry at them.” “I don't think Rainbow deserves to be called mom. Mom’s don't abandon their daughters and they don't pretend to be sisters just cause they think it's easier.” “Maybe not, but there ain't a pony in the world that hasn't made mistakes,” Applejack gently reminded her little sister. “Some mistake,” Apple Bloom muttered in response. “What's this about AB? You've had a bee in your bonnet about this from the giddy up. You ain't wholly wrong but I know ya, and you ain’t never met a pony who didn’t deserve a second chance.” Apple Bloom looked down at her hooves. “I miss Ma. And if there were some way she could come back to us, I wanna believe she'd move a mountain to do it,” she said softly. “She would,” Applejack whispered back, as though speaking too loudly would somehow diminish the non existent chances of ever seeing their mother again.   “Well Rainbow didn't have any mountains to move, all she had to do was say a few words and she couldn’t even do that,” Apple Bloom said louder. “So that’s what this is about?” “Yeah, Mom’s should be with their children.” “Again, you ain’t wrong sugar cube. But If you really believe that, doesn’t Scootaloo owe Rainbow a second chance?” Apple Bloom had no response, so Applejack kissed her little sister on the forehead and turned out the lights. Unlike Scootaloo, Apple Bloom didn’t fall asleep so easily. Over at the Carousel Boutique a similar scene was playing out in Sweetie’s temporary bedroom. “Do you think Rainbow and Scootaloo are ever going to be friends again?” Sweetie asked, crawling into bed. “I'm not sure dear,” Rarity replied, using her magic to pull the down comforter back so Sweetie could climb under it. “I know Rainbow was wrong but being a family means you forgive each other, doesn't it?” “It does, but maybe Scootaloo and Rainbow aren't family.” Sweetie practically bolted upright with indignation. “How can you say that?” Rarity gently pushed Sweetie back down, and secured the covers around her little sister.  “Family isn't just who you’re related to, it’s who you trust no matter what. I dare suggest that what Rainbow did was a gross violation of that trust.”   “I know that.  But Scootaloo was happier when Rainbow was around and I just want her to be happy again.” “That’s very sweet of you dear. Scootaloo is lucky to have such a thoughtful friend,” Rarity said with a smile. “But I think this is something they have to work out for themselves,” she added. A week went by and Rainbow didn’t receive any reply to her letter. Lacking any better ideas she decided to try again. Being stubborn had served her pretty well in the past, and it wasn’t like she had any other options.   Dear Scoots. So no reply on that last letter?  Maybe it just got lost, I know Derpy sometimes drops a few of them.  In case you didn’t read it I’ll just say again, I’m sorry.  Just let me know what I can do to make things right. Another week went by and there was still no reply. Derpy wasn’t the most reliable pony, but she was a pretty decent mailmare. The odds of her dropping two letters to the same pony in such a short time frame were unlikely.  Rather than try to write another one, Rainbow began to accept the fact that Scootaloo might never forgive her. But considering that possibility sent her into another tailspin only this time Fluttershy was unwilling to stay on the sidelines. One of the advantages to living in a small town was that finding a pony you were looking for was never difficult. After checking Sugar Cube corner and the clubhouse, she found Scootaloo on the outskirts of town, practicing her scooter tricks on one of the many hills that surrounded Ponyville.  She took a moment to watch the orange filly as she sped down the hill only to leap into the air when she reached the bottom, contorting her body so that her scooter rolled over her head before settling under her hooves a moment before both pony and toy hit the ground. Except for the colors, Fluttershy would have sworn she was again in flight school watching a young Rainbow Dash practice. The thought made her smile sadly. “Hello Scootaloo,” Fluttershy said after what she judged as a safe amount of time as to not disrupt Scootaloo’s concentration while doing anything dangerous. Scootaloo skidded to halt and let out a surprised yelp before realizing that Fluttershy posed no threat. “Hi,” Scootaloo replied cautiously. “I was hoping to talk to you, if you don’t mind.” Scootaloo bristled, the fur on her back rising. “You’re going to talk to me about Rainbow Dash aren’t you.” Fluttershy nodded. “Whatever she has to say I don't want to hear.” “That's kind of the problem.” “Not for me it’s not,” Scootaloo replied with more than a hint of defiance. “You’re hurting her,” Fluttershy said plainly. “So?! She hurt me!” Scootaloo snapped, wincing immediately afterward. If Fluttershy was offended she didn’t show it. “You’re hurting her, Scootaloo,” Fluttershy repeated, albeit more softly. “Is that really what you want?” “Maybe.” Neither pony said anything for a long moment. “It’s not fair, Fluttershy. Why should I have to forgive her?” “Life isn't always fair, Scootaloo. I can't tell you what to do, nopony can. But what about you?” Scootaloo shook her head. “What about me? I didn’t lie to her.” “No you didn’t. But are you really happier without Rainbow in your life? Because if you are, I think she'd understand, but if not then you're just hurting two ponies for no reason.” It was hard for Scootaloo to lie to Fluttershy. Even considering it made her feel guilty. “No, I liked it when she was my big sister.  But she lied to me, and I'm still angry at her.” Much to Scootaloo’s relief Fluttershy didn’t try to point out the absurd technicality about whether lies by omission were actually lies. “Being Rainbow’s friend isn't always easy,” Fluttershy offered by way of finding common ground. “She lied to you too?” “I don't think so. But she did once trade me for some Daring Do books,” Fluttershy said with a sad half smile. “And you forgave her?” Fluttershy shrugged as though Rainbow had merely eaten the last cupcake from her fridge. “It would have only been for a few months.  And I would have gotten to work with some really neat animals. But that's not why I forgave her.” For the first time, Scootaloo’s stance softened. “So why did you?” “Because that's what friends do and because Rainbow would never intentionally hurt somepony she cared about.” Fluttershy smiled broadly as she reflected on her friendship, “The thing about being Rainbow’s friend is that she always believes the best about you. There aren’t a lot of ponies like that, Scootaloo.” Scootaloo thought about her flying lessons with Rainbow, before she learned the secret Rainbow had been hiding. They could be frustrating, with Scootaloo barely able to hover. She ruefully thought about all the times she crashed unceremoniously into the ground only to look up at Rainbow. Every time, Every Time Rainbow had an encouraging smile and outstretched hoof. Whatever her faults were Rainbow Dash never gave up on her. “I heard she's been staying with you.” “That's right” “I'm not saying I'm going to talk to her, but if I was that's where I'd find her?” “Most likely.”   It took a few days before Scootaloo was able to find her way to Fluttershy’s doorstep. She stood on the doorstep, ready to turn and run.  But only cowards ran from their problems and Scootaloo was no coward. Summoning up all the courage she had she knocked. Fluttershy answered the door and with an understanding nod escorted Scootaloo to the living room. She found Rainbow Dash sitting wordlessly amongst an assortment of Woodland creatures. With a sweep of her foreleg Fluttershy ushered all the creatures out of the room leaving Rainbow alone with Scootaloo. To Scootaloo’s momentary relief Rainbow didn’t look nearly as bad as she imagined. When Fluttershy had told her Rainbow was hurting, Scootaloo conjured up images of a a gaunt pony with an unkempt mane and bandages on her wrist surrounded by piles of trash.  But Rainbow seemed fed and Fluttershy’s living room was immaculate.  But then Scootaloo caught Rainbow’s gaze. They were the same fuscha color as normal, but they were listless.  Everytime she could remember, Scootaloo had always seen a twinkle in those eyes whenever she looked at her big sister, because that Rainbow Dash was always one second away from shooting up into the sky and heading head first into the unknown, because that Rainbow Dash was fearless.  But Scootaloo doubted that this Rainbow Dash would even go outside if Fluttershy didn’t make her. “I'm still mad at you,” Scootaloo said, in spite of herself.  She wanted to say something easier, something vaguely reassuring.  But when Rainbow looked at her all she could think about was how Rainbow knew they were related and said nothing. “I know,” Rainbow said quietly. “You’re not my mother, I don't care what's on some stupid piece of paper,” Scootaloo said, saying the only thing she was sure about.  If the past month had shown her anything it was that she had a family, a mother and father and that she had always  had them, she wasn’t about to let Rainbow ruin that. “Believe me kid, I know that too. If I ever do have another kid I wouldn't mind if she turned out like you though.” Scootaloo playfully scoffed in spite of herself. “Ha, I'm one of a kind.” “Yeah, you are,” Rainbow said without a hint of irony. Scootaloo’s grin disappeared, but much to Rainbows relief it wasn't replaced with a scowl.  “What do we do now?” “That's up to you kid.” Scootaloo titled her head ever so slightly. “What do you mean?” Rainbow sighed. “I messed up kid. Maybe when I dropped you off at the orphanage, definitely when I didn't tell you who I was. It's like you said, I don't get to decide what kind of relationship we have.” “I liked it when we were sisters.” For the first time Scootaloo caught a glimpse of the Rainbow Dash she used to know, the one with a twinkle in her eyes. “I liked that too. Maybe we could try that again.” “No secrets this time.” Scootaloo said. It wasn't a suggestion. “No secrets,” Rainbow agreed. “Do you ever regret giving me up?” Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. “Right out of the gate, huh? It’s a tough question Scoots, I mean kinda. I regret not telling you when you moved to Ponyville, but I don’t know how our lives would have turned out if I didn’t. Do you ever wish I kept you, instead of your parents? “Oh. No, I love my parents.  I guess I wouldn’t miss them if I didn’t know who they were, but I’m glad we found each other.” “See what I mean?” “I guess so. Who was my Dad?” “You really can’t give me a softball can you? He was a guard, he looked kinda like you that’s all I really know about him.” It was only Scootaloo’s lack of understanding about relationships and where foals came from that prevented any follow up questions.  “Oh.” For another moment neither pony said anything. “What’s wrong Scoots?” “I always thought that maybe if I met my birth parents something would change,  but I just feel the same.” “That’s cause you are the same, you silly filly.  You're Scootaloo, Cutie Mark Crusader and all around awesome pony.  That's something that not me, not your folks, not even Celestia can take away from you.” Scootaloo smiled again, “I’m Scootaloo,” she repeated. “Yep.” Another pause. “Things still aren’t okay between us, are they?” Rainbow asked, addressing the topic they were still both avoiding. Scootaloo shook her head. “No, but maybe we could practice flying sometime,” she asked, with a brief flutter of her wings. “Sure, kid.” “Okay.  I’ll see you later then.” Scootaloo couldn’t think of anything else to say so she sped off leaving Rainbow alone again, only this time Rainbow didn’t have to wonder if she was coming back.