Ikkaku had heard a lot of weird things from Yumichika on beauty- bacon was an excellent facemask, only use fresh cucumber slices from your own house for a facemask, and big muscles on a fighter made them look inelegant- but this was the most ridiculous statement yet.
“So, as soon as you two made eye-contact, you both hated each other because of how you look? That’s priceless! It’s even better than that time you had an Afro!” Ikkaku just collapsed on the floor laughing. Yumichika just glared at him and started to monologue.
“It is a perfectly good reason to hate each other! As soon as our eyes met, we became mutual enemies in the field of beauty!”
Ikkaku just laughed louder
“What’s wrong with how she looks, you ask? Well, white and indigo are a good colour match, and it goes well with her eyes, but honestly! White is such an overused colour. Personally, I think her mane style looks too elegant and not practical enough-she must spend hours getting it to look like that, and that hairspray she uses must be strong enough to moor boats up. And furthermore, I think her eyelashes are FAKE! And another thing…” Yumichika continued to monologue while Ikkaku started choking on his own laughter.
Rarity had decided to talk to Fluttershy- the poor mare hadn’t attended the party even when Pinkie turned her puppy dog eyes on her, saying that the ‘madponies’ were too scary. Applejack had gotten the same idea and had agreed with Rarity that Fluttershy needed a shoulder or two to cry on.
“And then she just THREW the manticore away while laughing! It was so scary! She’s a filly, why would she laugh at that?”
Applejack put her hoof around her while Rarity handed her a new handkerchief.
“Now, calm down, sugar. Once you get to know them, they aren’t that bad-”
“Well, I think that there is one who is just as bad when you know him!”
Applejack just glared at Rarity. ‘Ah’m tryin’ to comfort Fluttershy here, and Ah thought you were doin’ so as well!”
Rarity looked apologetic.
‘Well, Fluttershy, of course I’m concerned, but that Yumichika fellow declared a beauty war!”
“Beg pardon?”
“I saw it in his eyes when I looked at him- he thinks that he is more beautiful than me! As I take a good deal more care in my appearance than he likely does, I am quite angry at this!”
Applejack and Fluttershy looked at each other in incomprehension while Rarity started to monologue.
“While blue and black are a nice colour combination, and certainly inspired, and the slight purple tint in his mane is a perfect colour co-ordinator, that orange sleeve is a fashion emergency! And that mane! Unique, certainly, but ultimately, it’s too practical and not imaginative enough for my liking. He’s certainly polite, but his mane and coat care are simply awful! Further more, he is a complete drama queen!”
Applejack and Fluttershy looked at Rarity with deadpan eyes. She was sprawled on her fainting couch and had been dramatically posing with each new complaint.
“Well, I see your point, but he gets too angry over the trivial things, and I’m SURE that he must be wearing contact lenses-“
“Okay, ah think that’s enough complainin’, Rarity. Why don’t ya just confront him about this whole rivalry and be done with it?”
Rarity just looked at her.
“Are you out of your MIND? Actually telling him that the war is on would be the worst possible move for me, as it is SUCH an unbeautiful first move.”
Applejack just facehoofed.
Yachiru and Pinkie Pie looked at each other and grinned. Their greatest prank yet was going to be epic.
Spike was currently experimenting with his flames.
“Scroll goes there, scroll comes back. Scroll goes there, scroll comes back. Scroll goes there-“
Pinkie Pie walked out of his mouth.
“You should brush your teeth a bit more, Spikey!”
“AAAHH!” Spike shot backwards and crashed into a wall. “I thought I told you to never do that again, Pinkie! You almost gave me a heart attack then!”
Pinkie Pie just giggled.
“I going to need you as a judge for the beauty war, Spikey!”
“Huh? Beauty war?”
“Yeah! It’s between Yumichika and Rarity-“
Spike punched through the wall.
“What. Did. You. Say.”
“I think you heard me.”
Spike’s eyes were dilated.
“HE. DIES.”
“Well, killing him isn’t the solution, but you can judge his beauty!”
He thought about it for a few minutes, and then reached a solution.
“Alright, but I’ll be a fair judge on this, got it?”
“Okie-Dokie-Lokie!”
Ikkaku was working at the farm again, pulling the applecart filled with freshly bucked apples to the market for profit, when a familiar, if hated feeling appeared on his head.
“YACHIRU! GET OFF MY HEAD!”
Still laughing about her prank, Yachiru jumped out of the applecart and prised Gummy off Ikkaku’s head. Ikkaku’s eyes boggled.
“How… Where… What…” he stuttered, trying to work out how Yachiru had just appeared inside a heavy applecart which was filled with apples. Yachiru just grinned.
“Hey, Baldy-“
“MY NAME’S NOT BALDY!”
“-Could you help judge the beauty war?”
Ikkaku’s grin twisted his face into a really creepy look.
“So Yumichika’s finally got his act together? Alright!”
Yumichika was walking happily towards Sugarcube corner, as apparently Rarity never went there, to get some cake. Pinkie Pie made the best cakes he had ever eaten- they were perfect for a beautiful pony like himself. The area around him turned as sparkly as Edward Cullen in the sunlight in his minds eye. Nothing could spoil his day.
He was wrong.
Rarity was walking there as well, on the same road! Yumichika temporarily froze, and then continued walking.
Just be polite, Yumichika. You can do it!
“Good afternoon, Ms Rarity! How are you today?”
“Oh, I’m quite fine. How are you doing?”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking at the image projected by Twilight in front of them in confusion.
“Ah think they’re friends, yet Rarity said that they’re mutual enemies. How is that?”
“Why are you looking at me? Weren’t you the one who went to Manehatten when you were younger?”
“Ah never saw anything like this! How does their rivalry even work?”
Just as they were arguing about it, Derpy crashed through the window and collided with both of them.
“Oh, hey there. When did you guys get up here in the sky?”
Applejack facehoofed. “You just crashed through the window.”
“Oh, whoops! My bad!” She sat down carefully, trying to avoid destroying the house further than she had already. Derpy had incredible physical strength for a Pegasus, demolishing buildings just by sitting down too quickly.
“So, if they don’t like each other, then why not just say act like that’s the case?”
“It’s a social contract between them- whoever breaks it loses. Rich people have social contracts like that, only on a larger scale. It’s similar to what rival rich families do when they meet each other accidentally- they talk only about what they have no possibility of disagreeing about.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash just looked at Derpy with open mouths. She winked at them before spotting a muffin-shaped cloud. With a mighty yell, she pushed off, punching a hole in the floor and sped after the cloud while yelling, “MUFFIN!”
Applejack was the first to speak.
“What the hay.”
The challenge both of them needed to get off their chests came in the form of Lyra and Bon-Bon.
“Hey, Rarity! So you finally found someone more beautiful than you!”
Rarity looked affronted.
Hey guys! Sorry about this chapter being later that usual, the Kenpachi chapter will be uploaded later today so don't worry!