//------------------------------// // Burn Once Again Pt 1 // Story: These City Walls // by KitsuneRisu //------------------------------// As always, the PDF is recommended: GDocs Version CHAPTER 4: What do you do when it's all gone away When you're left without words and there's nothing to say What do you do when the blue skies turn grey And the fires burn out in the morning What do you do when the challenges faced throw you right back to the start of the race What do you do when you're stuck in last place And the fires burn out in the morning What do you do when the enemy's hand exposes his crafty, nefarious plan What do you do when you've done all you can And the fires burn out in the morning What do you do when the universe calls away from your haven in These City Walls and asks you to drop all your masks and your shawls And the fires burn out in the morning Will you carry convictions to hold fast and stay or run in the hope of a cheerier day Will you cast forth the fires that light up the way to [Burn Once Again] in the morning? These City Walls Chapter 4: Burn Once Again; Part One "Hey." "Yeah?" "Can you hear me?" "Yes. Who's that?" "Just listen." And it was just the natural manner of things that when someone asks you to listen, one must also proceed to look. But her eyes would not open. It wasn't a matter of will nor effort – they basically failed to follow the most simple of commands, and behind those shut eyes, Berry was left alone in the blackness that swallowed her. But it wasn't just a simple case of blackness. There was nothing. Even in the darkest of nights, and even when you clamp your eyelids shut, there are still things to see. Be it flickers of light in the far-off distance, or gentle glows coming from phosphorescent wildlife, or even just the dancing cells in your eyes lit up by an atmospheric pulse – there is always something there. But this was total nothingness. It wasn't really about her eyes any longer – even if she could open them, she didn't think there'd be much to see. "Where am I?" asked Berry, bolstering courage, her voice echoing in the space around her. The absence of visual stimuli intensified her other senses in volume, as they rushed in to compensate. Sounds, smells, and spatial awareness all gained momentum and soon started to fill in the blanks. And perhaps one of the ironic things about all of this was that 'blank' was a fitting description of her environment. Her voice echoed all around her, and that other pony, the one who called her up, her voice sounded like it was coming from everywhere at once. And she was floating on a bed of air, but no wind could she feel. In fact, the air itself was particularly odour-free, and carried with it a staleness that did not feel right in her lungs and upon her skin. She felt that she was frozen in a world without anything doing the actual freezing. "What is this place?" Berry asked, pressing on when no response came from her earlier question. "Ah," came the response, reverberating out from the void. "It seems we weren't wrong in our assessment." "What's going on? Who are you? Where am I?" "You're taking a break," was the answer, curt and direct. "A break?" "Yes. Do you remember what you were doing just a while ago?" "No." Berry struggled to remember, but just like her environment, her head felt as if it were trapped in a great expanse of darkness, and memories were to her as mirages on the horizon. The closer she got to one, the further away it pulled until it was once again sitting in the far off distance and beckoning for her to reach it. All the while they were shrouded by a wispy fog of blurry shadows, so she never quite knew exactly what it was she was chasing in the first place. "I don't," she affirmed. "Do you remember the bakery? We're in the bakery. We were investigating a crime. A murder. And suddenly you decided it would be a nice time to take a few minutes off, and now we're standing against a wall and not really doing anything. And then you sort of stopped responding, so I was called here to check it out." "I don't remember… no wait, I do," Berry corrected herself, as one of those images in her head started to clear up and fade back into perception. "Yes, I remember. I was just telling myself I needed to take a break. I guess this is the break, then." "That's right. Good. Let's take it easy, alright?" "Alright, but who… who are you? You still haven't answered me. I want to know who you are." "It's me. Who else would it be?" Berry scratched her hoof on the floor. At least, it felt like the floor. She wasn't sure. She was surprised that there was even anything solid under her – she was certain that she was floating in air not just a moment ago. "Oh, I know who you are," Berry said. "Why couldn't I remember?" "That's why I'm here. Now, do you remember who you are?" "I… yes. I… think I do." "And do you remember where you are?" "Yes." Berry nodded, the final curtains lifting on the temporary mystery that invaded her mind. "Then open your eyes." Like a tank of water that suddenly sprang a leak through a horizontal crack, light came rushing through the crack in Berry's eyelids. And as they prised apart further and further, things started making more and more sense. A younger, more child-like Berry stood in the middle of a room encased in a bubble of swirling light and rainbow sheens; a room that had a pink and blue chequered floor pattern and fluffy red curtains covering non-existent windows. On one side of the room lay a toy-chest overflowing with stuffed dolls and board games and entertaining things of all sorts; the other side paid host to a humongous bed with a fluffy baby-blue mattress and too-many-pillows. Lying innocently on top, a rather conspicuous bright-red blanket spread out, ruffled and messy. This young Berry was her. She knew that now. She knew something that she shouldn't have forgotten. And that alone suddenly brought gravity to the situation. Standing across from her was herself. But a far more serious, straight-laced version, with mane slicked back and gelled down in a tight pull-back ponytail, and a pair of black, steel-rim circular glasses perched on her nose. She had an expression of calm about her, but it was the kind of calm that usually led to a storm. And there the two Berries stood, pondering the things there were to ponder. "Now," continued the serious one, voice now coming from the figure herself. "As we surmised, something rather odd is going on, as evidenced by your sudden retraction." The child-like Berry nodded. She knew, now, what had happened. She had hid under her blanket. It was a sort of self-defence she had. Like flicking a switch to shut everything down. The drawback of which was, of course, that it shut everything down. "Now, it would probably be better," Rational Berry continued, "If you didn't do that again for the time being, at least until we figure out what's going on. It's easy to hide, but it doesn't exactly help the rest of us when the Alpha's frozen up." "Oh. Sorry. I just… you know. I just do it." "Yes, we all understand, but we're asking you to try to be a bit more… reserved. Now, the Alpha's chosen you as her governing personality, which, as you know, means you call most of the shots. If anything were to happen to us, all of us will be in trouble, and no amount of my rationalization will be able to help us. So for once you're going to have to try to be a bit more… mature." Child Berry sighed. She hated that word. Maturity. It just meant having to do things that, well, the others were supposed to. And what were they for, then? "Fine," the child mumbled. "I'll do my best." "That's all we ask." "But why did I use the blanket, anyway? I don't really know what's going on." "Well, you know how you were getting a bit worked up earlier, and then you heard Canary come in to talk you down, right?" "Yeah, that was you, right?" "Right, All except that last one." "What?" "That line. The one telling you to take a break. That wasn't me." Child Berry's heart froze. And this… this felt familiar. She felt it just a few minutes back when she decided that it was frightening enough to immediately close up shop for the evening. Her eyes grew as a chill swept across her body and up her neck. "We sent you a message earlier, which must have been what prompted the shutdown. But now I'm here to tell you again, myself. So listen very carefully. There is a voice in our head… that isn't ours." Child Berry's eyes started shifting wildly as her heartbeat rose, flying across the room where they landed securely on the red blanket that lay invitingly on the bed. "Don't," said her opposite. "Don't." (,-' ,------U ~--, '---------------'   The fervent glows of the real world began pulsing through her eyelids once more as she faded back into consciousness. But she didn't open them. She lay there for a while, her mind wandering over what might have been the most shrouded dream she had in her life. It was one of those kinds of dreams where you'd remember none of the details, but yet you'd somehow manage to understand what was going on, on a deeply profound level. But still, even realising this, it didn't stop her from trying to drag up some of the details that she wasn't allowed access to. But to no avail. She appeared to have fallen asleep on some sort of metal table. Certainly it was a far cry from her bed back in her house, but when you don't remember falling asleep in the first place, you really aren't in a position to bargain for comfort. The stray, bitter taste of medicine in her mouth told her that the kindly old Mister Bowler must have offered her a restorative of some kind, and that nap was just what the doctor ordered. Literally. But yet, her head still pounded. It pounded in a different way. Gone was the dull throbbing of a stressed-out brain, and in its place came a sensation of a different sort. Perhaps pounding wasn't the best word to describe it, Berry mused – it was more like some nice stallion had his hooves inside her head and was gently massaging her brain. Its purpose wasn't to hurt, but it wasn't particularly comfortable either. Something had definitely wound its way around her brain and was slowly squeezing it, all to Berry's annoyance. But the pain itself seemed to have subsided slightly, and Berry was never one to complain when it wasn't entirely necessary. And so there she lay, on the (hopefully) clean surface of the table, listening to Night Flare and Mister Bowler exchange words. This indeed brought a measure of glee to her, and against her better nature, she decided to stay still and silent, eavesdropping on this delightful tale of the stoic Mister Bowler's past until she decided to interrupt it herself. "That's wonderful, Mister Bowler," Berry said, hiding her grin. And the rest, as they say, was history. - - - "What do you mean that's not her?" asked Bowler, impatiently. "I mean… well, yeah. I don't think I can really explain that any more, Mister Bowler," Berry said, her pencil twirling around her horn like an elongated satellite. She often fiddled with her pencil if she had it out. She was one of those ponies who couldn't leave things be as long as she had the opportunity to fiddle with them. Her notebook was also out, turned to a fresh page, and every so often the satellite would report in for an observation or two. Behind them, Night Flare had decided to excuse herself while she put her face on the floor for a while. "Oh yeah, you're right. Whaddaya know?" Bowler said dismissively, finally bothering to actually look at the body. "No way in Tartarus I labelled them wrongly, though." "I don't think you did." Berry shook her head. "The wounds don't match." "Now but… but that's just impossible!" Bowler yelled out, getting annoyed. "I did them myself. I know damn sure this one was missing a wing! What's going on here?" "I really have no idea, Mister Bowler." "Yeah, for once I'm with you, kid." Berry closed her eyes, trying to think. She kept a serene expression – furrowing her brow caused her headache pains to spike. "I... assuming… that when you examined them… you did everything correctly and no mistakes were made…." "Not a one! On my reputation, girl." "… then we can assume that these changes occurred recently. So, the first body turns into dust, and scraps of what appears to be clothing just suddenly turns up… and the second body turns into the first body, but still has the wounds of the second body." Berry's eyes opened again. "I think I'll take this one back to Canary." She surrendered. This one was just way out of her league. And Bowler's too, by the looks of his twitching moustache. "Hell, call Celestia!" yelled Bowler. "This isn't right, Berry. Anyway, I'm still going to insist on one thing." "What's that, Mister Bowler?" "You ain't going back to that station. Not just yet. You're going home to get some much needed rest. You can go back in a couple hours, but… I don't need to be a medical doctor to see that you're compromised." "Compromised?" "Yeah, that's fancy-flank doctor speak for 'you're screwed'." "I'm… screwed?" "Oh, don't play that game, Berry. Your eyes aren't even pointing straight. They're twitching all over. You got a full set of luggage under each of 'em. You can't hear yourself but you're slurring. Get some sleep. Some more sleep, that is." She swallowed for the first time in half an hour. She hadn't noticed how dry her mouth was. "Alright, Mister Bowler. I'll go home." "Yeah you say that, but… you've been training under Canary. Hey, girl! Girl!" Over the way, Night Flare lifted her head back up. In a strange, personal method of countering the sight of the deceased, she had found solace in literally pressing her face to the floor. She hadn't even bothered to lie down or even recline slightly, and it made her look like a rather odd ostrich, one who shouldn't be told exactly what kind of things went onto the floor of a morgue if we all wanted to save ourselves a scene. "Wha– me?" she asked, turning around to look at the coroner, blinking the horrors out of her eyes. "Yeah, you see any other girls in the room? Idiot." "Um… Officer Ber–" "Idiot! Listen up. You want to help, right? Do the right thing and all that rubbish? Here's a job for you. It's pretty simple. Think you can handle it?" "What is i–" "See Berry over here? She needs to go home. Can you make sure she goes home and gets a bit of sleep? It's really not that hard. Police Station's off limits for at least 4 hours. She sets one hoof in there, and it's your job to kick her back out. Easy?" "I… um…" Night Flare stammered, looking back and forth between the angry Mr. Angry and the Constable who was planted like a wilting weed in front of her. "I…" "Do it, idiot girl," grumbled Mr. Bowler. "There's no need for that. I'll go home, ok?" lied Berry. Ah, this Mister Bowler. What a nice pony! Despite his gruff exterior and extreme facial hair, behind all that lay a kind, well-shaven stallion who only had others' best interests at heart. Right? It was a shame that Berry had no intention of… Wait, what was that again? Oh, that's right. I'm going home. I'm going home. And that's all there was to it. (,-' ,------U ~--, '---------------'   "…ey!" A tiny voice forced its way through the darkness; a blissful ocean that Berry was floating in. Now, Berry didn't even want to open her eyes. There was simply no need. All she had to do was ride this vortex, where it was safe and warm and… it was warm? She hadn't noticed that before either. Warm. It was a good feeling. "…y!!!" She sucked in another breath of sweet, fresh air, traces of honeysuckle and peppermint riding on the azure breeze. Perhaps this dark cube wasn't so bad after all. I could stay here for a few minutes longe– "Hey!" "Oh!" Berry yelped, suddenly spiralling back to an upright position, which was relative, of course – there wasn't really any concept of up and down in this place. The warmth and the smells and the air were chased away by the other presence, like butterflies flitting away from a light that was suddenly turned on. "Finally! I'd been calling for you for quite a long time now. Something seriously bad's going on, Berry." "What… why did you chase away the happiness?" Berry complained, rolling out of the bed and stumbling to her knees. The void… the darkness… once again retreated back to wherever it came from, returning her bubble and all its amenities. But the sudden shift had left her weak and disoriented. "The what? Look, there's no time. No time for your ramblings. I have to tell you something," Rational Berry said, cantering up and helping the Child off the floor. "Um… who are you?" "Oh no, not again. Did you use the blanket?" "I… don't remember. I don't think so." "Try to remember, Child. Please." "No… I do remember some sort of… thing happening, but then some clouds came along and told me it'll all be fine and I don't have to worry and… I guess I forgot. I'm sorry." "Oh colt, this is worse than we realised. We're in it really deep." "What's going on?" "We're under attack, Child." "Under attack?" "Yes! Please, please try to focus!" "It's… hard." "I know, but you have to try!" "Trying takes effort!" "Please, Child!" "Alright, alright. What's going on?" "This thing, this foreign presence is trying to split us up. All of us. Fracture our mind. Do you understand?" "No." "You're going to make me have to put it in terms of food, aren't you?" "It'd help…" murmured the Child. "OK. Listen. It's about… pies… and… oh Colt… just… just listen. We're being separated. I don't know why, but something wants you alone. They don't want us to be able to communicate to the Alpha. They want you to call all the shots." "Why me?" "Because you're the primary, we're guessing. Appealing to you is the easiest way to control all of us." "So what do you want me to do?" Child Berry asked. "First of all, do you even realise that we wrote down complete gibberish?" "Wrote down… what… on what?" "Your notebook. About the voices. We're on the way to the morgue now, or did you also forget?" "Oh yeah! That's right." So nodded the Child. "Yes… you sure do. Bowler just reminded us about what you clearly forgot." "I forgot… what I forgot," mumbled the Child. "That whole thing about the extra voice in our head. Canary, remember?" "Oh yeah! It was nice of her to come into my head." "That… wasn't her!" "It wasn't?" The disembodied form of the straight-edge Berry closed her metaphorical eyes and tried very hard to come to terms with this overwhelming annoyance. Of course, she was successful. It was easy for her to rationalize, after all. "Alright," she finally said, coming to a determination. "This isn't going to work this way, obviously. This thing is on the attack and you're obviously being affected by it in some way or another." "I don't know in what way," Child Berry complained again. "Yes, that's right. You don't. So just listen. I'm going to tell you some things that we need you to do, specifically. Alright?" "Well, why don't you just stay here with me? Or one of the others? How about Emotion? She's always helping me out." "Emotion's in suppression," explained the Rational. "And I'm busy with handling this whole thing, or has it escaped you that I'm sort of needed to handle the whole murder deal?" "I'm alone then." Child Berry cast her head downwards in a sort of pout. "Yes. So I'm going to leave you with one very important thing. It's getting harder to even contact you, so I have a feeling whatever that voice is, it's trying to block us out by securing you in your own comfort zone. But as long as we all remain in a conscious state of presence, it will be harder for him to sever ties completely. Do you understand?" "No!" Child Berry exclaimed, cheerfully. "Don't fall asleep, Berry." "No nap times?" "No. Whatever you do. Don't fall asleep. And yes, Alpha's tired now, and Bowler's suggesting that we take a nap. Eventually, Alpha's going to ask if we should or not. You must say no. Do you understand?" "No nap times. Got it." "I'm serious, Berry." "I got it! Whatever we do, we can't fall asleep!" "Alright." "You can trust me, alright?" "I'm going to hold you to that, Child." "You can count on me!" (,-' ,------U ~--, '---------------'   "Um… you feelin' better?" asked Night Flare, cautiously, as the two of them peeled back into the streets outside the Coroner's office. It was slowly ticking past late afternoon, and a casual walk back to the station would put them there just in time for a late tea snack cake. "I… don't know," Berry said, trying to smile. "I'm feeling a bit odd, to be honest. I think that nap messed with my head. Have you ever woken up feeling worse than you did before you went to sleep?" "Once, I guess." Night Flare shrugged. "There was that one time I tried to eat that entire pumpkin, and…" Berry looked a bit concerned at that. "… it didn't end well." "That doesn't sound fun," Berry commented. "It wasn't. All I can say is, thank Colt clouds are easy to wash, if you know what I mean." "Um… so what were you and Mr. Bowler talking about while I was sleeping?" Berry changed the subject quickly. "Oh! Well… No, I mean…!" Flare scrabbled with her thoughts. "He had a couple interesting things to say. I really… can't remember them, but I sort of get the gist of what he was trying to tell me, you know?" "Yeah, I get that." Berry nodded. She truly did. This had happened to her on multiple occasions in the past. In fact, it was Canary who taught her that sometimes – though not all of the times – sentiment is more important than words. It was internalizing detail that made for good detective work, and only for the aid of specifics were words important. "I hope you got something good out of it though," Berry continued, cheerfully. "Mr. Bowler's a really wise, old pony. He can be rude sometimes, but he's got a good heart." "Yeah. He gave me quite a lot to think about." Flare scratched at the ground with her hoof, peering at the small clouds of dust she kicked up. "I… I guess this whole thing, from the start till now… it's been different, you know? I'm sure you're kind of used to it but… wow. For me, it was like, wow." "I haven't really seen that many murders, to be honest. It still makes me sick thinking about it. I haven't reached the point where I can just focus on it like nothing, not like Canary can." "Yeah, that girl… she's a hard-ass, isn't she?" Berry just nodded in silence, letting the familiarity of the truth in that statement wash over her. Although, she considered, she probably wouldn't have used that term herself. "But I want to… I want to apologize," Flare mumbled. "What for?" asked Berry, expression changing to curiosity. This seemed to have come out of nowhere. "Well… this whole time… I was acting out. I'm childish. I know. I mean, I've always known, but I never wanted to change. I always felt that I had something to prove, you know? It sounds… just so stupid saying it out loud like this." "No… go on," Berry encouraged. "Heh..." Flare stammered. "I… I just act like a total brat because… I don't really know why. Blitz called me out earlier. I'm kinda only just letting it all sink in right now. I'm really just, you know. Lettin' it all sort of spill out right now, and I don't think I'm making much sense, but I think what it boils down to is… I don't have to hide it if I want to help others. There's no shame in it. No weakness. Right?" "Why would you even think there was shame in the first place?" asked Berry. "Well... I didn't grow up in a very nice place. You know… Blitz… she kind of called it right on the dot. It was kind of scary how accurate she was," Flare reminisced. "My neighbourhood, where I grew up in… it had a few ponies who just wanted to do good. I was one of them. We helped out, happily, with stuff and all that, you know. Making the 'hood a better place to live, right?" Berry couldn't help, despite being in the middle of this heartfelt admission of Night Flare's past and life, cracking a tittering smile. "Wh… what?" Flare interrupted herself. "The 'hood'?" Berry chuckled. "It's just an expression! C'mon, dude. Leave me alone!" came the typical defence, but the sheepish grin and downturned eyebrows gave away Night Flare's true emotions. "I'm sorry. Please go on." Berry motioned for her to continue. "Well, the other kids… they didn't like that too much. Liked having their way. And they just had swagger. That was all it was. And that gave them power and respect. I remember… my best friend back then. But he ain't my friend no more, if you know what I mean. He decided to quit doing good and start acting up. And only then did he start getting more friends, getting all the attention and making his way outta the place." "I guess I sort of thought that you can't be seen being nice. You gotta act up all the time. But… that isn't how it is, is it?" "I never thought that way before," came the honest and impartial response of Berry. It was simply the truth, nothing more, nothing less. "And then these… these couple days. Just a couple days. Mixed up in this crazy murder thing. Meeting all these new ponies. Some… somepony I know just died. For… no reason. And here you are. You and Sergeant Canary and Blitz and even that crazy one with the memory thing… you all just throw yourselves into danger for total strangers. Complete strangers. You all don't give a manure about what anyone else thinks. Especially Mr. Bowler. He don't give any kind of manure about anything. And I don't… understand why." "Well… Duriandal ran away, to be fair," Berry commented in observation. "Yeah she ran away, but she ain't… hiding, you know what I mean? I hide. I'm always hiding. That's what swagger is. Hiding. But she's honest. Just honest all the way to the end. She didn't make excuses. She just left. And the rest of you, you could be killed, Berry. You could be killed today, and doesn't that even scare you?" "I'm terrified." Berry grinned. "Then why are you smiling? Why in the hay are you smiling?" "Because if I wasn't scared, it means I don't care. And I'm happy that I care." "I…" "Miss Flare? I don't know much. I'm not a smart pony, or experienced, or anything like that. Most ponies I know think I'm really unsuited for my job, and I have my reasons for doing it, but… let's say you were in my position, and you had to do something about all this. Do you think you'd be scared as well?" "I'm scared right now," admitted Flare, voice softening to a whisper. "Then maybe you should think about dropping your 'swagger' and listening to the part of you who cares." Berry's grin turned into a gentle, calming look of reassurance, the way only she could. "If you care enough, then it doesn't matter what others think of you. You can be happy just knowing what you do makes a difference. And you have yourself to answer to for that. Not anypony else." "Well, I always did feel good doing nice things," Flare said off-hoofedly, thinking about the reasons why she snuck old bread out to the schools twice a week. But she'd always been too busy trying to hide her actions, and it never occurred to her to question her motives. "And it's been a really terrible case," Berry continued. "I'm sorry that you got mixed up in it. Nopony should. But we're deep in it now, and all we can do is do our best to stop it. Can we count on you?" The question hit Flare in the face harder than Blitz's hoof when she had slapped her. She really didn't know how to answer it. Any other day than today, she wouldn't have even cared. But today was special, and the pony asking the question was particular, and the question itself… A spark lit in Flare's soul. A tiny burning fire, chasing out the doubt and suddenly empowering her with conviction. And she didn't know where it came from or what it was, but she felt within herself a certain fury and determination that she never knew she had. "Yes." Night Flare nodded, stating the truths that had to be declared. "You can. I'm sorry for how I've acted before. But I think now… I want to help. And I don't care who knows." "That's great!" exclaimed Berry. "So go back to the station and wait for Canary." "But…" "Hmm?" murmured Berry. "Aren't you coming with? You were just lying back there, weren't you? You're coming back, right?" "Oh, no, not at all." Berry shook her head. "I'm going home to get some rest." It just felt right saying it. It felt natural. Going home. Wasn't that a good idea? "O…oh," stammered Night Flare. "I… what do I do, then?" "Well, don't worry. I don't think I'll be gone long. I just really need to get back home. But I'll be around later! And Canary should be back soon, if not already. And here…" Berry pulled out her notebook and floated it over to Night Flare, who grabbed it tightly in between her teeth, with a tiny bit of confusion behind her gaze. "This contains all my observations of the day. Everything important. Be sure Canary gets it, alright? And you don't need me around to do good. Believe in yourself, Miss Flare. You can help in many ways. All you have to do is be willing." Each spike of Night Flare's mane bobbed in accordance to her head. "And now, I'll be heading off. I really have to go," Berry said. "There's something I need to get to back at home." (,-' ,------U ~--, '---------------'   A whisper in the dark asked a question. And the child, as if replying to reassure a worried parent, answered with a simple 'yes, I can hear you.' And the whisper, voice of neither stallion nor mare, grew to the volume of speech, but yet, still remained a whisper. "Are you comfortable?" it asked. "Yes," replied the child. The Child was floating on a cloud yet again. It was soft, fluffy; like a bed that you can wrap yourself in. Like a sponge that soaked up your pain and anguish and left you with nothing but the ease of mind that the Child so desperately needed. And those sweet, sweet smells that floated along, and the comforting warmth, like a mother's hug. They were all… very much welcome. "Good," said the whisper in the dark. "The past few days have been trying, have they not?" "Yes. Very trying." The Child nodded in slow motion, being carried away by a train of bliss. "And you certainly deserve something good." "I do," claimed the Child. "Perhaps you would like to be free, from all of this." "Yes, I would like to be free." "Then there is a gift waiting for you." "A gift?" "Yes." "What kind of gift?" "The kind that only I may impart," declared the whisper in the dark. "It's a surprise, then?" "It is." "How do I get it?" asked the Child, always happy to receive unplanned blessings. "It is waiting for you at home." "But… wait, what about Alpha?" "There is no need to concern yourself. She is fine. She is taking a nap as of this moment." "Oh no, oh no, oh no," the Child repeated, stirring up the cloud she herself slumbered upon. "We weren't supposed to fall asleep." "Do not fret. Do you not feel comfortable? Does everything not feel right?" "Well… yes, it does feel good." "How can something that feels this good be bad?" "I… I suppose you're right." "I am," asserted the whisper in the dark. "Just enjoy yourself. There will be more good things awaiting you at home." "Home…" "You must go home." "I will. And… thank you. For all this. For being so nice. It has been terrible. I've felt terrible since the start. Ponies getting killed just makes me want to cry. And Canary's been so distant. I don't like what's happening." "Oh, it is funny that you mention the pony named Blue Canary." "Why?" "More than one shall be receiving gifts tonight." (,-' ,------U ~--, '---------------' Step after step. The first few with some hesitation, as if each placement of her hooves were being questioned by something deep inside – a nagging doubt if this was what she was supposed to be doing. But something else reassured her that this was the right thing to do. And that voice didn't have a reason. It simply wanted to go home. There was no fighting it, of course. Fatigue and tiredness was a large factor, and strangely, the voice of reason that usually fought against these kinds of thoughts was unusually quiet. There was no process of logic. There was no determination of the facts. She was going home because she felt like it, and she gave in to her selfish side. She would get some much needed rest. She was so exhausted, there wasn't any other way to put it. She probably could use a shower too. That'd feel great. And even if it was only for an hour or four, or eight, or however long, she didn't have to think about this stupid, stupid case, and that was also great. I mean, who cares about this thing anyway? Nothing was going to change. You can't bring back the dead. Nothing she did would help the past, so why bother? Let's just go home and throw everything in to the corner. Let's just enjoy a night off. I've been working hard. I've been doing my job. And in the end, that's all it is. A job. A stupid, useless job. And each step back home made these thoughts and beliefs even stronger, until, for the first time in her life and for the rest of her life, she was putting herself before everypony else. And she didn't even care. She just trudged on. Her home wasn't that far away from the morgue, thankfully, and as she passed by the tall, uniform buildings that made up the block of houses in which hers was member, she turned and triumphantly pushed open the door that led into her ground floor landing. And everything stopped. All at once, her mind snapped back. The tendrils reaching from the edge of space that worked its way into her mind finally released its grasp, and in a burst of light that felt like a punch to the gut, all her sensibilities came flooding back. The first thing she did was take a deep breath in, wheezing heavily through her rapidly pacing heart, that sped up in an instant and thumped a sordid echo in her skull. Her breath shuddered out and shook in, chills creeping on her skin like silk drawn across her body. A hoof flew to her mouth to stem the tide of gagging that she felt was about to erupt at any moment. Her mind was finally free. But that was no consolation. She only threw her leg up to her face because something allowed her. It was a permissible action. And from there, a growing, throbbing pain started to grow on her flanks on either side, causing her to wince through the mental barrage. She was stuck fast on the floor, but not by any means she could understand. She could do anything she wanted within the reins of her position. She could move, look around, breathe raggedly, display concern across her furrowed brow and even shuffle on the spot while the slow realisation of her fate attracted her attention. But she was leashed; she thought about running and didn't. She thought about escaping but wouldn't. It was a box she was in, one with invisible walls and peculiar boundaries. Her hoof remained steadfastly on her mouth, as if removing it would cause her entire body to fall apart. She shut her eyes, swaying to the irregular beats of her heart that remained the only sound left in her ears. And every time she thought about that one single thought, her heart would pick up the pace, and it would hurt. It would seize her chest, wringing it and crushing her lungs, making her short breaths even shorter and making her eyes flash spots of brightness. But inevitably, no matter how far away she was from that thought, it remained in her head and in the air; a single thought that represented everything that existed in this moment of time. She was going to die. Death, huh? Funny thing. There had been so much death in the past few days. It didn't seem to matter anymore what she did. It seemed that neither her nor Canary were in any position to prevent it or stop it. But yet, they soldiered on. They recruited troops to help in this war, and for what? For something they couldn't solve. But Berry knew what Canary would do. She would still press on anyway. It didn't matter to her, did it? She wouldn't even give a second thought about it. If she were here right now, in this same situation, why, she'd probably already be thinking of ways to get out, not miserably succumbing to fear, like Berry was. Funny thing. They say that life flashes before your eyes before you die. But here Berry was, thinking about somepony else. Wasn't even her own life. Why weren't there any flashes? She expected the flashes. What she didn't expect was an answer. "That will come shortly," a voice came, from the darkness. A voice from inside her head. A voice that now spoke freely to her, to the Alpha, from the darkest parts of her soul. A voice that was finally one with her, and did not need to speak out loud. The voice spoke from within, and It sounded like the voice you hear when you plug your ears and talk, except that this one was a whisper. And it most certainly wasn't hers. Her emotions leapt and latched on, clinging to whatever it could just so it didn't have to face the realisation, and this voice provided a path to a new feeling that was welling up from within. "Who… who are you?" Berry demanded, the very taste of a growl leaving her lips. "Why are you doing this?" "I am all that has been. I am all that is, and all that will be," the whisper explained, calmly, collectedly. "I do this because I do." "That isn't an answer!" Berry screamed. "Tell me why innocent ponies must die!" " They have been deemed not to be innocent." "But why kill? Why do they have to die?" "It is a reminder." "A… a reminder? Of what? What is it all for?" The whisper took a moment to respond, almost as if it was considering its words carefully. "Ponies must be reminded." "Of what?" Berry screamed again, her voice pleading, begging for the truth. "Of their sins." "What sins? Those five sins? The Stable?" "Yes. That is what you call them." "And that gives you the right to judge… and kill?" The voice took yet another moment of pause. "No. The judgement is not mine." "Who… who are you?" Berry asked, her voice dropping down to a low utterance. She knew she asked it before. She hoped this time she would get a proper answer. "From the beginning of my existence, I have been ordained with one task. Five exemplars are chosen from sinners, and five from the virtuous. I am to punish the sinners, and reward the virtuous. That is my purpose." "Why… why do you do it?" "Because I do." "That isn't an answer!" Berry's anger returned. "I exist for this reason alone. If I were not to perform my task, I would not exist. If I were to insufficiently perform my work, I would be destroyed. Is it not the goal of every living creature to continue existing?" "Then what about the ones you kill? What about their right to continue existing? What about my right to continue existing?" "That is unfortunate, but it is of no consequence to me. When I was created, I was instilled with only two needs. A need to exist, and a need to carry out my work. They are intertwined, and forever will each feed the other. I work to exist. I exist to work." "Created… what… what kind of creature…" "I am… Ouros. That is all. As my brothers, we are all born of Magic. We have no purpose but to do what we were born of. There are many of us, all whom exist for different duties, be it to see to the balance and harmony of the world, or to sow discord. We merely perform." "And what… what of your purpose? For what reason are these… warnings?" "To make ponies behave." Berry shook her head in disbelief. It was just a little hard to take in, to be fair, but these reasons this thing was giving her… its callousness was an assault to her sensibilities – the very tenets that she believed in that made justice what it was. "I can sense what you are thinking," said Ouros. "It is not my place to question the scope of what I have to do. Each time I return, I am given ten names. Ten ponies. It has not changed for the thousands of years that I have been in existence. Perhaps Magic has deemed that ten is sufficient to carry on the message regardless of time or space." "It… it just doesn't work like that… It's… it's not…" "It works as it does. Until I cease function, I will continue to perform my work." "The world… the world has changed. We're smarter now. We can govern ourselves. We… I'm a policepony. You know what we do? We… we help maintain peace. We punish those who commit crimes. We do… we do what you do!" "Then you understand the importance of my work." "No! No, I mean… what you're doing… is too harsh. Lives are precious. We… we can't kill just for small reasons… and with no warning!" "I cannot grasp this concept. It is a waste of your time to try to appeal to the value of pony life as a way to extend your punishment. I exist because I exist. The only value in my existence is the fact that I exist. I will not be able to understand." Berry shook her head again, a flood of thoughts jumbled up and bounced around as her vision began to blur. "Of course," Ouros replied, in response to a thought that he picked up from out of the mess. "You are not the first one to appeal in an attempt to escape. It will not work. I must complete my task. I am ordained to." Berry didn't even know what to say… or think… about this. It was all so far buried in things that weren't part of everyday life that no amount of Canary could have prepared her for this. Even the very concept of it itself – there she was, standing in her entryway, speaking to what was essentially the right hand of an old, bitter god. "Although, a curious observation I have made," Ouros said. "I have been away for a thousand years, as I was told I would be. Things are different now. Certainly, progress has been made. You are the first to… question me for knowledge. All others merely beg for their lives. You are the only one to beg for the lives of others." The strange compliment came at a moment where it wasn't to be appreciated. Berry grit her teeth, chewing on phantom strings. But this was it, wasn't it? This was the time where she had to make her final plea. This was the time when she had to, because she would be remiss if she didn't try, ask for forgiveness and hope that she could be spared. "No," whispered Ouros. And Berry's heart sank a million miles. She'd always wondered what it felt like to face death. To know that it was coming, and to be conscious about its approach. It felt warm. It was oddly comfortable. Like floating on a cloud. Berry started to walk again, taking step after step, up her narrow staircase to the upper floor landing, where her bedroom was. "Where are we going?" asked Berry, drained of all feeling, a numbness taking over. "Come. You have been charged with the sin of Trespass," stated Ouros. "And it is time for your judgement." "I don't want to die," sputtered Berry, in the way that made it sound more like a statement than a plea. "There are worse things than death." And at the top of the stairs, Berry turned right, and walked through the doorway that led to her bedroom. Like the final walk of a condemned soldier, she marched in, her own chambers of safety now the most unsafe place she could ever be. But there, in her room, was something else that, despite this unbelievable experience thus far, made her mouth open in stark surprise and her eyes widen in disbelief. "Then, let us begin," Ouros whispered. END PART 1