//------------------------------// // Ch. 5 Dating Start // Story: Ponytale [OLD] // by Sonic Gamer //------------------------------// The human decided to drop by Screwball and Zany’s house to have that date with Zany. “Hello Zany,” she said while blushing. “Ah, you’ve decided to go on that date with me,” Zany replied. “Well, I know the perfect place to have our date! Follow me!” He then lead the human down in Snowdin, and back right around. “My house!” he said as he walked in. The human giggled, and went inside. “What a nice place you have!” “Thank you. Feel free to look around, and then we’ll have that date.” “OK.” The human decided to look around. She found a series of notes by a sock on the floor. Here’s what they read: “Screwball, pick up your filthy sock off the floor!” “OK.” “Don’t put it back down, move it!” “OK.” “You moved it two inches! Move it to your room!” “OK.” “And don’t bring it back!” “OK.” “It’s still here!” “Didn’t you just tell me not to bring it back to my room?” “Forget it!” The human laughed as she read those notes. She then walked into the kitchen, and noticed that the covered below the sink was huge. “Why such a huge covered?” “I enlarged it so I can fit a lot more stuff in there. Take a look.” The human opened up the covered, and found that same hedgehog from earlier. He was eating Zany’s stuff. “Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” The hedgehog ran off. “Catch that stupid rodent!” But the hedgehog was already gone. “Damn it!” Screwball then popped out of her room, and played the Wah Wah Wah Wah tone. “Screwball! Stop plaguing my life with incificiall music!” “Sorry!” Screwball said as she went back to her room. The human giggled again, and then walked to the fridge. “Ah, interested in my food museum?” said Zany, “Feel free to look at my culinary art.” The human opened the fridge, and found many gallons of chocolate milk. “Boy, you really love chocolate milk, don’t you?” said the human. “Sure do! It came from my father!” “You don’t drink it too often, do you? You could get constipated from having too much dairy.” “Don’t be ridiculous! I don’t get…” Zany’s stomach then made noises. “Excuse me for a moment.” He then teleported to the bathroom. When he was done, he teleported back in front of the human. “You don’t get constipated, huh?” the human said with a smirk on her face. Zany blushed. “Moving on, please.” The human then looked at the oven. “That’s an interesting oven you got there.” “Oh yeah, speaking of that, Screwball doesn’t usually cook, but she tried making something once. I think it was some sort of quiche. She used some kind of non-egg and surgery substance.” “Cool.” The human walked out of the kitchen, and noticed a rock on a coffee table. “What’s with the rock?” “Oh yes, a mare named Maud hired my sister to babysit her pet rock, Boulder. Screwball always forget to feed him, so I had to take responsibility.” The human giggled. “It’s covered in sprinkles, how cute!” “Yes, Boulder is indeed cute.” The human looked around the house a bit more. She then noticed the bathroom. “That’s our bathroom. You can use it whenever you need to go. Though, you probably wouldn’t want to go in there for a while.” Zany said as he blushed. The human walked up stairs. “Is this your room?” “It sure is! If you’re done looking around, we can go inside, and do whatever ponies do when they date.” Zany winked. “OK.” They walked inside Zany’s room. “Nice room.” “Thanks, you can look around, and then we can start that date.” The human decided to look around his room. She then noticed Zany’s bed. “Is your bed shaped like a car?” “Yes, I’ve always dreamed of driving it on the roads of the surface if we ever get free. But it’s just a dream, so I just snooze while I cruse.” “How is it gonna drive if it’s fake?” “Hello? Have you forgotten who you’re talking to? I’m Zany, the Prince of Chaos!” “Oh, that’s right.” She then noticed a table of Bionicles. She then gasped, and said, “Are these Bionicles?! I’ve haven’t seen these in years!” “Oh yes, Bionicle, one of Lego’s most popular franchises. They were eventually replace with Lego Hero Factory! But they did come back.” “How do you have so many?” “Well, let’s just say that I got them from a jolly, red, fat pony who breaks into ponies’ houses, and leave gifts. What was his name again? Oh that’s right! Santa Hooves!” “Oh, so they were Christmas gifts?” “Yep!” The human looked around some more, and looked at Zany’s closet. “There are no skeletons in my closet, except for Halloween decorations of course. But I only put up skeleton props in my closet on Halloween.” The human opened the closet, and found tons of shirts hanging up. “Why do you have so many shirts? Ponies don’t even need to wear clothes, right?” “It’s just merchandise. I just happen to be in various fandoms.” “Oh, cool!” The human then noticed a computer. “Oh yes, the internet. I’m quite popular there. I’m just two followers away from a double-digit follower milestone! However, my internet persona has been breached by some jealous troll who keeps sending me funny messages in a goofy font!” “Wow, that doesn’t sound very good.” “It’s not. Now, if you’re done looking around, wanna start that date?” “Yes, let’s do it!” “Sweet! Dating start!” They then began the date. “Oh boy, we’re gonna have so much fun together! You see, I’ve never dated anyone before,” he then took out a book, “luckily, Princess Twilight let me borrow this book about dating from her Castle Library. Seriously, she has book for everything, even slumber parties!” He then opened the book. “Let’s see. Step one: Ask the pony out on a date. Well, we’ve already started, so let’s move on. Step two: Display dating hud.” He used magic to display a hud. “Wow, I feel so informed! Step three: Put on nice clothes to show that you care.” He paused for a few seconds. “Wait a minute. I’m wearing clothing right now!” He was referring to his scarf and boots. “And you’re wearing clothing, too! Not only that, you were wearing that bandana earlier. Did you plan this date from the start?” The human blushed, and then confessed. “Y-yes, I did!” Zany was shocked. “Y-you planned it all from the start. Your dating power is increasing!” The human’s dating power meter went up. “Very clever, human! But I have never been beaten at dating before! In fact, I can always use my magic to put on my special clothes!” He used his magic to change into a different outfit. He wore a T-shirt that said Cool Dude, shoulder guards that looked like basketballs, and a cap hat. “What do you think, human?” “Looks great on you!” Zany was shocked once again. “Oh no! A genuine compliment!” The human’s dating power increased even more. “However, you do not know the secret to this outfit. So what you just said was invalid!” The human’s dating power decreased a bit. “This date won’t escalate any further until you find my secret. It is within this outfit!” “Sounds fun.” It was proving to get difficult. The human touched Zany’s hoof. “Oh, holding my hoof so I can tell you my secret? Well it ain’t gonna work!” The human then poked at Zany’s cutie mark on his flank. “Oh, you naughty human! Unfortunately, this isn’t a clopfic, so don’t even bother.” “What about your hat?” “My hat? My hat. Oh yes, take a look!” The human took off Zany’s hat, and there was a box wrapped up in gift wrapping. “A present, for me? Oh, you shouldn’t have!” The human then opened the present. “You know what this is?” “It’s a cone of cotton candy.” “Yes, you are correct! But, you are also wrong! This isn’t just any sweet pink fluff, this is professional cotton candy! The kind you buy at an amusement park and circus! This is a Candy Pony’s work! Taste it if you dare!” “OK.” The human took a bite out of the cotton candy, she smiled with delight. “OMG! This is the best cotton cotton candy I’ve ever tasted!” Zany was shocked yet again. “Oh no! Those expressions of joy! There so… so… Oh no, you’re dating power is off the charts!” The human’s dating power went outside the meter, and everything went white. “Human, there’s no doubt about it. You’re madly in love with me. Now, it is time for I, Zany, to tell you my true feelings. I, Zany…” Everything went back to normal, but then, Zany hesitated. “I… um… Boy, is it hot in here, or is it just me?” He was silent for a second or so. He then let out a sigh. “Human, I’m afraid I must tell you something. I don’t like you the way you like me. Romantically, I mean.” “W-what?” the human looked down. “I tried really hard to though. I thought since you flirted with me, I had to go on a date with you, and I thought I could match my feelings with yours. But alas, I, the great Zany, have failed. I’ve only driven you deeper into your intense love for me. How could I have done this to my own friend?” “Zany, I…” “No, I never fail at anything! This is all just a stepback. But don’t worry, human, I, the great Zany, will continue to be your cool friend! And who knows? Maybe you’ll find someone else as great as me! Well, that’s actually not true, but I’ll settle you for second best!” “OK, I’ll be cool with being just friends.” “Great! Now, you probably need to get back home to surface. Now that our date is over, you can continue your journey! See you later!” “Thanks for having me over, Zany. I had fun!” With a smile on her face, she walked off. “Wait, hold on!” Zany gave the human a small sheet of paper with writing on it. “Here’s my number, so we call each other anytime we want. Platonically of course.” “Thanks, I’ll call you when I need you.” “Sweet! Good bye now!”