On a cold spring night Fluttershy walked home from a night at her friend Rarities house. She had a lot of fun watching movies and playing games and doing other girlie things like putting make up in each other.
Anyways, she walks for a little while when a big handsome muscular man with a sweet hat runs up to her. “Hey, Fluttershy!” he yelled super loudly. “I really don't like you cus you're really quiet and that's sickiningly adorable and I hate it!”
“Oh no.” Fluttershy said. “What are you going to do!?!?!”
“Im going to punch you in the face!” And then he did so and Fluttershy fell down and cried alot and the man feels super happy.
The end.
~~~
An elderly man with white hair and cyan skin placed the paper on his desk and rubbed his temples.
“What's wrong, Doc?” a young man with dirty blonde hair and a slight tan asked with a nervous look on his face.
“Heartless Bastard, is this how you genuinely feel towards Fluttershy?” the therapist asked with a sigh. “You've spoken so much about her—and told me you ache for her love—yet here you are with a story about you punching her in the face.”
“Well, I've gotten so aggravated that I can't simply muster up the courage to ask her out!” Heartless said. “I just want to tell her how I really feel to her face…”
The therapist sat back in his chair and rested his hands on his lap. “And how do you think you should do that?”
“Well, I wrote a poem about us hunting endangered species,” Heartless said. “Then I tried drawing a picture of us dancing in the middle of a bunch of injured animals.” He tapped his chin before he said, “Oh, and last week, duct taped a wounded bird prop on her locker with a letter pinned to it asking her to the Winter dance!”
“You know she loves animals, yet you deliberately include harmed animals when asking her out,” the therapist said. “Does it ever occur to you as to why she's rejected you so much?”
“Nope!”
The therapist facepalmed. “Forget it,” he said. “What's your next ingenious plan?”
“To punch her in the face!”
The therapist facepalmed again. “Heartless, punching her isn't going to make her love you,” he said. “It's going to get you suspended. Heck, it'll get you sent to jail for assault!”
“Well, what do you think I should do then!?”
The therapist shook his head. “At this point, Heartless, I think you should just give up,” he said. “I doubt even someone like Fluttershy would forgive you.”
Heartless Bastard glared at his therapist. “I’ll show you!” he growled. “I'll make her love me, and I'll laugh at you until I die!” With that, he got up and walked towards the door. “Nothing will stop me!”
The therapist sighed as he Heartless Bastard left the room. “Well, he only had four minutes left,” he said. “I wonder if he remembered to pay.”
---
Heartless Bastard walked down the street towards Fluttershy's house. “She will love me,” he growled. “For my name isn't Heartless Isotope Bastard the sixteenth!”
After a few minutes of walking, he arrived at Fluttershy's cottage. He walked up to the front door and knocked on it.
Fluttershy answered the door. “Y-yes?” she asked.
“Fluttershy! It is I—Heartless Bastard!” Heartless proclaimed in an ostentatious tone of voice as he entered the home. “I wish to ask for you to go on a date with me or I shall punch you in the face!”
Sunset Shimmer looked over from a red velvet couch. “Wait, you'll do what!?” she asked.
“Do you accept my proposal?” Heartless asked, ignoring Sunset like a sandwich covered in maggots. “Or shall I punch thee in thy face?”
“Oh, um, I mean—you’re a… um…” Fluttershy backed away. “Sunset, please help.”
“Fine then!” Heartless stormed up to Fluttershy and raised his fist, but Sunset intervened, and threw a punch of her to Heartless Bastard’s stomach, which caused him to stagger back.
“You will not lay a hand on Fluttershy you bastard!” Sunset growled. She turned out and told Fluttershy, “go call the police. I'll hold-”
Heartless Bastard threw a punch to Sunset's jaw, which knocked a tooth out. “Well, you may not be Fluttershy, but you're still kinda cute,” he said. “But, your hair is-”
Sunset kicked Heartless in his groin, which caused him to hiss in pain. “I don't care what you think about me!” she snarled. “I won't let you harm my friend!”
“But I must express my love for her!” he whined. “How else can I tell her she's disgustingly adorable!?”
Sunset tilted her head. “Uh, what?”
“Never mind!” Heartless grabbed Sunset's shirt and threw her into the living room before he chased after Fluttershy—who was in the kitchen. “Fluttershy!” he yelled as he entered the room.
Fluttershy jumped and stood back against the wall. “Please, send someone right now!” she said to the 911 operator.
“Listen, I just want to say that I truly lo-”
Before he could finish his sentence, Sunset bashed a picture frame against Heartless’ head, which caused him to stumble around like a drunken dancer. “Come on, Sunset, I just want to punch her!’
Sunset grabbed Heartless’s collar and threw him to the ground. She went to stomp on him, but he grabbed her leg and tripped her, which caused her to fall flat on her butt.
Heartless stood up and walked towards Fluttershy. “Finally, the moment I've been waiting for!” he exclaimed as he brought down his fist and struck her cheek. “Now, for the-”
WHAM!
Heartless's fist grazed Fluttershy's other cheek before he fell flat on his face with a loud thud.
Sunset dropped a rolling pin and sighed. “Well, with any luck, he won't won't wake up for a while.” She walked over to her friend and rested a hand on her shoulder. “You hurt at all?”
Fluttershy rubbed her cheek and shook her head. “I'm fine,” she said. “You look like you took a beating.”
Sunset chuckled. “I’ve had worse,” she said. “Though, I can't say I've ever been in a situation like this.”
Fluttershy nodded as the police pulled up outside her home. “Oh, thank heavens,” she said as a policeman ran into the room.
“Ah, hello,” Sunset said. “I don't think he’ll be resisting.”
“I'm still somewhat consc… con… bleh…”
The officer nodded and cuffed the somewhat conscious Heartless Bastard before helping him up. “Hey, isn’t your brot-”
“My whole family's a disaster,” Heartless Bastard said. “Except for Eyeless Bastard, but that's because he's dead.”
The officer rolled his eyes. “You two should come with me. You look like you could use a bit of patching up,” he said before he walked out of the room.
The two girls nodded and followed. “What do you think the others will say?” Sunset asked.
“They’ll probably wish they could've helped you save that tooth,” Fluttershy said. “Or our group picture.”
“Yeah,” Sunset said as she stepped outside. “Oh well, at least the TV survived!”
Fluttershy giggled. “That's true,” she replied as she and Sunset approached an ambulance, and prepared for an immense amount of questioning.
---
Later that day, Heartless Bastard’s therapist sat on his beige recliner chair and turned on the local news.
“Our top story tonight: a student of Canterlot High-school has been arrested for assaulting two fellow students.”
The therapist sighed. “Guess it runs in the family,” he said to himself. “First Soulless Bastard, now Heartless. I wonder when Brain-dead Bastard will fuck up.”