I'll Show You "Apple Brown Betty"!
by Present Perfect
On the train to Rainbow Falls...
And we will make to the Games once everypony carbo-loads on my apple brown betties!
During tryouts...
Don't forget your betties!
On the way home...
How 'bout another apple brown betty for good luck? They're loaded with vitamins!
During the Equestrian Games...
Hoo-whee! That there's what an athlete looks like after eatin' a hoofful of homemade apple brown betties!
Around Ponyville...
Don't mention it, Dash. I know how much you love my apple brown betties, so I thought I'd load ya up with a few dozen!
Even in Rainbow Dash's dreams.
Apple brown betties! Grapple down letties!
She could see the smiling face of Applejack, pupils dilating and moving further apart as everything got closer, darker, insaner.
Apple...
Bapple
DAPPLE
"I can't take any more!" Rainbow screamed, waking in the dark of early morning to cold sweats and hyperventilation. "Make it stop!"
Rainbow Dash flew for Sweet Apple Acres like her tail was on fire. Years of practice breaking and entering Twilight's library would have made kicking through shutters foals' play, but Applejack had foolishly left her window open.
Rainbow hovered above the bed, sizing up her intended prey. Applejack slept soundly, snoring every so often, not a care in the world.
She woke with a jolt as Rainbow Dash screeched, "I'll show you 'apple brown betty'!"
"What in tarnation?"
Rainbow Dash made her angriest meme face ever and pushed.
"She got two solid kicks in before I could make it back out the window." Rainbow winced as the brush glanced across a sore spot below her withers. "You pretty much know the rest."
"I must say," Rarity said, elongating one of Dash's wings with her magic so she could scrub beneath it, "what in Equestria possessed you to wreak such an... err, 'vengeance' on poor Applejack?"
Dash scowled, then winced again and tucked her wing back along her side. She splashed a hoof against the surface of the tub water like a petulant foal.
"You just don't understand, Rarity." She shook her head slowly as Rarity scrubbed beneath her mane. "Applejack's voice was haunting me, day in and day out. Even in my sleep, all I could hear was 'apple brown betties'!" She shuddered. "I never want to hear those words again, as long as I live!"
Rarity clucked her tongue. "Honestly, Rainbow Dash, here I had thought I'd seen you at your worst, but you've set a whole new level for 'unladylike'! I wish I could expect better of you."
Rainbow Dash huffed, but said nothing.
There was a sudden thundering from the first floor of Rarity's boutique. Both ponies looked to the bathroom door, frowning.
"Now, whoever could that--"
Rarity was cut off as both the downstairs and bathroom doors were slammed open and a furious burst of yellow and pink stormed into the room.
"Rainbow Danger Elizabeth Professionalism Dash!" Fluttershy scowled at Rainbow like she had never scowled before. She made her angriest meme face ever and floated up over the tub until she was nose-to-nose with Dash.
"We do not, I repeat, do not make poopies on our friends!"
Dash was taken aback. Never had she seen her meekest friend so filled with fire. She might have been turned on if she weren't slightly worried for her life.
After a moment, her gaze averted from Fluttershy's. She couldn't take staring into those smoldering eyes any longer.
"It was just some fibrous nuggets," she mumbled. Nevermind that Applejack's kick had sent them flying all over Dash herself, landing her in her current and very literal mess.
"Applejack told me everything." The rage in Fluttershy's voice was just barely restrained from full-blown. "Do you think what you did was okay?"
Rainbow shook her head, still unwilling to look at Fluttershy.
"I can't hear you!"
"Mmno," Dash muttered. She could hear Fluttershy cross her arms and glare disapprovingly at her.
"Once your bath is over, you will fly to Sweet Apple Acres and apologize to Applejack! And you'd better believe I will be right there with you to make sure it is sincere! Do you understand me?"
Dash gave a positive mumble.
"All right," said Rarity, a little too cheerfully, "let's rinse!"
Dash had no time to retort before she was doused with water. Fluttershy tsk-tsked.
"I hope you learn your lesson after this little display!"
Rainbow sighed. "Yes, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy gave Rarity a knowing look. "Kids these days. You just cannot let them out of your sight for two minutes, I swear."
Rarity nodded and kept her distance. "Uh-huh."
