It was a normal day in the quiet little town of Ponyville. The ponies were doing whatever it is they do in their daily lives. Foals ran around playing games. Even some mares and stallions were having fun.
And this… irked, a certain spirit.
This was boring. Too boring. The reformed mish-mash of animal parts was almost bored out of his mind. Almost.
Sure, he could always have a nice little spot of tea with Fluttershy. But, he really didn't feel up to it today.
Well, he could talk to his old friend The Smooze. Ever since the Gala, the two really haven’t talked much. Not that he didn’t want too. He just never really… got around to doing it; he kept putting it off.
But anyway. We’re derailing the carriage here.
So, Discord is bored, there is not a thing to do for entertainment. Well, not on this planet anyway.
*I think I know just how to make things fun around here.* He thought to himself right before he fazed out of this plain of existence.
Richard was not having a good day. In fact, he could say today was the second worst day of his life. The first place spot being taken by that time he went to the REAL Mexico. Yeah, no one wants to talk about that.
Anywho, the reason behind Richard’s terrible day could be something everyone can relate to, in some way; his fall into the friendzone. Yes, that terrible, absolutely emotional shattering experience of being shoved into that zone. It especially didn’t help that him and his used to be special someone had been dating for quite a while. Her reasoning was just spot on as well. She admitted she was only going out with Richard because she somewhat felt bad for him.
Quite the blow to his already weakened ego.
So all he could do at this point would either be skulk around, or mope around.
But anyway, that doesn't matter right now. What really matters is how he didn’t notice the world froze around him. It took him a minuted and running into a frozen stranger to realize what’s going on.
“Oof!” He grunted as he bumed into the still person. “Sorry, didn’t see ya there.” He said as he quickly got back up and addressed the person he bumped into. And did a double-take when he noticed the women hadn’t moved a single muscle. She was somehow frozen mid-step in her walk to somewhere. “Uh… Miss?” He asked, waving a hand in front of her face. Getting no form of response. He gave up pretty quickly and started looking around; the cars on the road, the other people walking around, even a bird was sitting in mid-air, it wings paused mid-flap. “The hell..?”
“It seems you have finally notice your surroundings. I swear, I was about to tell you myself!” A voice echoed about the area.
“What? Who's there?” Richard asked while looking around. He couldn't find the source of the voice.
“Right behind you...” He heard right in his left ear. The sudden feeling of someone behind Richard made him jumped, let out the manliest yelp of all time, and spin around to face whoever just spoke.
Richard wasn't prepared what he saw. He really wasn't prepared to see a real-life chimera two feet away from him.
“I think that’s putting a bit mildly...” Discord said when he waved a paw in front of Richard’s face. Getting no reactions from the human in the process. “Maybe I should've gone with a more subtle approach.” He started stroking his beard when Richard when he began to regain his senses.
“D-discord?” Richard managed to stutter.
“Oh? You know who I am? Moi?” Discord asked while daintily putting the very tips of his taloned hand on his chest.
“Uuuh...” Richard’s voice wavered a bit. “Y-yes..?”
“Ooh! How flattering! And here I thought no human would know of me!” He smiled, but then, Discord wondered; how does this human know about him? “Pray tell… How is it that you know who I am?” The human froze a bit. In Richard’s mind, how does Discord not know about the whole ‘TV show’ thing? Isn’t he, like, able to go to different universes n’ stuff?
“Uh… Well...” Discord raised one of his bushy eyebrows, showing a little bit of impatience. “Uh… You see… there’s this… TV show...”
“‘Tee... Vee... show?”
“Y-yeah. Uh… it’s about your freind Fluttershy-”
“What about my friend?” Discord asked a dangerous tone.
“Nothing bad! I swear!” Richard said. “The show’s just about the adventures she and her friends went on. Nothing else!” Richard closed his eyes, waiting for whatever the draconequus was going to do to him for revealing such information. At first, nothing happened, not physically anyway. Richard heard snickering and opened his eyes. He saw Discord snickering behind his paw, which turned into full-blow guffaws when Discord saw the confused look on Richard’s face.
“The look on your face! Simply priceless!” Discord said when he had enough air in his lungs. He also wiped a tear forming on his eyes, while at the same time noticing the confused look on the human’s tiny face. “Oh, my apologies, human. Of course I know about this little… TV show you and your… friends, watch.” He smiled. Giving Richard a good view of the spirit’s shark-like teeth. “Now, before we continue, it has come to my attention that I do not know your name.” Discord looked at the human expectantly.
“Oh! It’s Richard. My name’s Richard.” Richard responded.
“Splendid! A pleasure to meet you Richard!” Discord said while presenting a paw. To which Richard took in a hand-to-paw shake. “Now, pleasantries aside, do you know why I am here?”
“Uh… to cause chaos?” Richard hesitantly answered.
“In a sense… yes. But not here.” Richard raised a brow at that. “You see. It has gotten extremely boring back in Equestria.” Discord explained with a disdain sniff. “And being the reformed Draconequus that I am. It would do me great pain if I were to spread a lovely bit of chaos directly, for it would break my poor little Fluttershy’s heart.” He theatrically put the back of his talon to his forehead in a ‘woe-is-me’ pose. “So, I got to thinking; if I can’t have fun directly, who’s to say I can’t do it indirectly?” Discord said, finishing with an almost sinister grin.
“Wait… so...” Richard started. Much to Discord’s dismay, it seems this human is a little bit slow. “You… you want me to be ,like, an avatar, or something?”
“I wouldn’t use that word per say. That would imply that you are the Spirit of Chaos, which is my title. No… you would be more of an… an apprentice, yes. An apprentice!” He cheered. “Yes! I can teach you the ways of disharmony!” Discord cackled. But, he caught himself after realized what he just said. “Ahem, without going overboard, at least.”
“Uh… Ok…” Richard didn't quite know how to take this, but one serious question flew to the forefront of his jumbled mind. “But… What about my life here? Am I gonna spend the rest of my life in Equestria?” The question caught the chimera off guard, but Discord was able as ever to answer such a simple question.
“There is a good reason why everything around us seems to be frozen in time.” He gave Richard a few seconds to let his words sink in. “I because everything is! And you don't have to worry about a thing! As soon as we’ve had our fun -however long that may be, I will personally bring you back to this very spot. It'll be as if nothing ever happened!”
“Ok… But what about me, like, getting older or something?”
“Oh… That'll be taken care of as well. I am something short of a god.” Discord said with a smirk. “So, what do you say? Niegh, or yay?” He said while holding out his lion paw.
Richard thought about this admittedly very tempting offer; meet the characters of his third favorite show? How could someone not flat-out take the offer by the horns?
Although, this is Discord that's presenting the offer. There could be some kind of catch or condition behind it. But, he did just kinda confirm his reformation when he talked about Fluttershy, so it can't be that bad, right?
Well, Richard reasoned there can't be too much of a risk, so he made his decision almost too easily.
“Deal!” He shook Discord’s paw.
“Excellent!” The furry snake cheered. “Let us begin then!” He snapped his talons and the both of them wrapped into Discord’s house, in his personal dimension. The short-lived, sudden shift of gravity that comes with traveling via wermholes disoriented Richard for a bit. But it was nothing too detrimental, that belong to true teleportation.
“Welcome to Casa de Me!” Discord said with an absolute gay fantastic wave of his arms. “Please, make yourself as comfortable as possible!” He said. Richard saw a single seat chair and sat in it. He quickly discovered Discord was speaking literally, the chair felt as if it was made out of the rocks you see used as rock walls. Basically; not the most comfortable chair he’s been on. Discord took the much wider, much more comfy-looking couch.
“First thing’s first, if you really want to begin running around in Equestria. You must create, and design, your very own original character. Or OC, as you humans call them.” The reject platypus snapped his talons again. And what looks like an antique architect's desk with a decent-sized touch-screen materialized in front of Richard.
“Wait, why can’t I just go as myself?” Richard asked.
“Tisk tisk tisk.” Discord chuckled. “Have you forgotten what happens when a human enters Equestria? Especially when they meet a certain pistachio-colored mare.”
“Pistachio? What..?” Richard paused for a second, then paled when he realized who Discord was talking about. “Oh! Right, Lyra… Uh, thanks.”
“Not a problem my friend.” Discord smirked. “Oh! And one more thing, when design your new body, I recommend keeping it on all-fours.” Richard nodded and turned focused on the screen.
Design your OC! A title appeared. A start button appeared on the center. Richard pressed it and a classic character design layout filled the screen. Except, it had to be thee most detailed character design menu he’s ever seen. There were multiple, separate tabs. But the ‘Body Shape’ tab was highlighted. Richard tapped it and a scroll-along list of body shapes and types. From the acid-blooded alien, to the four-fingered Navi. The list seemed endless. It was a little daunting, but it did help a little that the right side of the screen showed a preview of what exactly the base would be. But, the drawback was… well… some names, Richard couldn’t read. But, he soldiered on.
...
Richard eventually found a body shape he liked. Though, it was a tough choice; he didn’t want to be dismantled as a robot, so no Wall-E. But, there was a Stitch lookalike. At least, the silhouette looks like Stitch from the movies. It turns out that it was, so with that in mind, Richard chose this body shape. A pop-up window appeared and asked Are you sure? Press OK to finalize your selection. To which Richard pressed the OK button after a second of thought. The list disappeared, being replaced by multiple tabs. Each tab revolved around customizing the body; physical features, jewelry, clothing, fur, skin, or other patterns. Huh, there was even a choice to replace the skin with chitin. But Richard decided against that option, he liked having skin at that moment. He began by designing a fur pattern, having chosen to keep the color varying shades of a soft orange.
Richard decided to have the base color regular orange, with darker spots littering the body like the Target™ dog in those old commercials. Then he added horizontal stripes along the cheeks. Next thing added where three large ovals along the back. And the antenna had dark orange tips. And finally, a marigold underbelly. A nice alien body, if Richard were to toot his own horn.
Next thing Richard did was body modification. He added the two extra arms like Stitch, how he would conceal them like the alien did, he would hopefully find out later. Anyway, the only thing he really think he could add were the extra arms, he always wanted to know what four arms would feel like. He thought about adding wings instead, but, would they look right on this kind of body? Nah… at least, to Richard, they wouldn’t so he stuck to four arms.
But, at was at this moment, he kept a biped body.
He mentally cursed himself for making such a mistake, but in retrospect, it really didn’t matter. For as long as he looks nothing like a human, he’s good.
Anyway, now was the… ‘Special Abilities’? Hmm…
Oh! It’s basically a long-ass list of superpowers!
Richard took his time looking through the long list, only having four to choose from. But, these powers weren’t really spectacular. But Enhanced Healing Factor caught his eye. And turns out, there was a description. Which detailed: “Complete regeneration of any lost limb, including head, and immunity to disease. It only insured these two buffs, but it was more than enough.
Richard chose that one as his first special ability.
The next one to catch his fancy was something called Environmental Adaptation. And the description of this ability basically said that, if Richard were to choose this one, he’d be able to adapt and live in any kind of environment. Even a nuclear environment. That one was an easy add to the his list.
The third ability he choose was Immobility, its description describing a being as an immovable object. For sure he going to use the ability to mess with a certain pony, maybe more.
The fourth, and final, special ability that Richard instantly choose when he saw it was… Bullet Time, meaning he would be able to slow down his perception of time. Or rather, he could focus so that, to him, time slows to a near standstill. Like Max Payne, in the games.
Then next tab Richard switched to wear accessories. Which he really didn't spend much time on. Being simple-minded as far as fashion goes. He put pair of blue jeans, a white T-shirt under a red, blue, white, and green plaid shirt. With a hat and a pair of blue-tinted wayfarer sunglasses. You know, those glasses that Domo thing wears that gives it a nerdy look? Yeah, those, but as sunglasses. And he forewent shoes since the body came with paw pads, like a dog’s paws.
But, now that the major details were done, Richard moved onto more minor details… such as height. Or claw length…
“Discord?”
“zzzZZ- Hmm?” Discord picked his head up off the floor. “Oh. You’re done I presume?” Richard. “Perfect! Let me have a look-see.” Discord teleported to end up right next to Richard. He examined the product of Richard’s labor. He was expecting something like himself; a body that screams chaos.
Oh, how wrong he was.
Instead, Discord saw an absolutely adorable creature. Well, to Fluttershy, it’d be adorable. Discord doesn’t see the cuteness, nope. He does not.
“Why with this design, if you don’t mind me asking?” Discord asked.
“To make myself not look like a threat.” Richard answered. “What’s the point of causing chaos if the ponies knew it was me? In my opinion. I’d rather be anonymous when doing it.” Discord was shocked from this. He did not expect that from this human.
“Oh, we’re going to be best friends before this is all over.”